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should i f*&# my boyfriend senseless before i leave state?

outofit

outofit

Greenlighter
Joined
Mar 29, 2010
Messages
6
Location
Las Vegas
We are agreeing to end our relationship because of distance. We will have been together almost 5 years by january when i am ready to leave. Though he feels as though it could still work in my experience ldr never work. we havent had sex in a while mainly because of pain issues and i think ive just lost my sex drive in general, i dont listen to him most of the time. im usually busy working or getting ready to go to work or watching tv to deal with his bum woe is me sadness talks when he tries to talk about his "feelings" to me, and shit. nobody got time for that.

hes always going on about how he loves me and will come out to colorado to be with me but idk what to think of that. anyways, should i try and initiate a goodbye fuck that'll leave the very pages of the kama sutra burning to a white-hot crisp in awe of carnal complexity (this boy can PUT IT DOWN) or should i just try and distance myself further to lessen the pain of leaving/distance?
 
Make a decision as to whether you want to be with him or not. State this clearly and make it final. Do not fuck him. Do not lead him on any longer.

You say you have no time to even listen to him - let him go so he can find someone who does.

A five year relationship is ending - it may mean nothing to you, but it will be hard for him. A little empathy and maturity wouldn't hurt.
 
hmm often when people spilt there is a farewell fuck. its good fun fun but ultimately just makes you miss them more

why cant he move with you? also you said his is a woe is me type bum- does he not have a job?
 
Sounds like your stake in the relationship has run its course. Better not to fuck him as he might construe that as there being a chance for the relationship.
 
Mel22 said:
A five year relationship is ending - it may mean nothing to you, but it will be hard for him. A little empathy and maturity wouldn't hurt.
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QFT. You might be acting cold because it's your way of dealing with this situation, but you sound really harsh. Don't hurt him any more than necessary. Fucking his brains out might give him the wrong idea so I suggest getting cock elsewhere.
 
Fucking him will only make things more complicated on his end. It's fairly cruel to lead someone on, but it is only going to lead to more crap for you to deal with. If you don't have time to deal with the mess as it is, it is best not to make it worse.
A lot of people don't understand, I don't want to be with you but I will have crazy sex with you.
 
Yeah..... Leave him be, move, and both move on.
Your relationship is either far beyond having run its course or you're a little more than harsh. Maybe both. Find someone that suits you better.
 
Mel22 said:
Make a decision as to whether you want to be with him or not. State this clearly and make it final. Do not fuck him. Do not lead him on any longer.

You say you have no time to even listen to him - let him go so he can find someone who does.

A five year relationship is ending - it may mean nothing to you, but it will be hard for him. A little empathy and maturity wouldn't hurt.
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I agree, word for word!
 
outofit said:
We are agreeing to end our relationship because of distance. We will have been together almost 5 years by january when i am ready to leave. Though he feels as though it could still work in my experience ldr never work. we havent had sex in a while mainly because of pain issues and i think ive just lost my sex drive in general, i dont listen to him most of the time. im usually busy working or getting ready to go to work or watching tv to deal with his bum woe is me sadness talks when he tries to talk about his "feelings" to me, and shit. nobody got time for that.

hes always going on about how he loves me and will come out to colorado to be with me but idk what to think of that. anyways, should i try and initiate a goodbye fuck that'll leave the very pages of the kama sutra burning to a white-hot crisp in awe of carnal complexity (this boy can PUT IT DOWN) or should i just try and distance myself further to lessen the pain of leaving/distance?
Click to expand...

That's tough. Sounds like you may be making a positive life change?

f*&#? - I have no idea. If you want to put it on him it has to be a positive thing, like celebrating the high points of the relationship, and not something that's going to confuse feelings or anything like that.
 
Corazon said:
That's tough. Sounds like you may be making a positive life change?

f*&#? - I have no idea. If you want to put it on him it has to be a positive thing, like celebrating the high points of the relationship, and not something that's going to confuse feelings or anything like that.
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Yes, but remember she said he wanted to maintain the relationship even long distance..she is the one who refuses to go that route. She also said that when he was always trying to talk to her about his feelings and other serious stuff she was too busy watching TV to deal with it. Matter of fact I think her statement is she doesn't have time to listen to his shit when he wants to talk about his feelings and the relationship. My point is, he is way more into her from what she says and she comes across as pretty heartless and basically over the whole thing. If what she says is true he would definitely read way more into the sex than there is and she would somewhat be toying with his emotions or using him one last time because he is good at what he does not because of any feelings or hope to maintain the relationship.

Sounds pretty unfair to him IMO.
 
I like to end a relationship with one last good fuck.

It seems like you want the whole thing to end, so you should be very clear that its over.

You should probably only fuck him if you want to fuck. You should not do it out of pity.

Also when men talk about how much they love you and they are going to miss you they are talking about how much they love fucking you and how much they are going to miss your vagina.
 
dopemaster said:
I like to end a relationship with one last good fuck.

It seems like you want the whole thing to end, so you should be very clear that its over.

You should probably only fuck him if you want to fuck. You should not do it out of pity.

Also when men talk about how much they love you and they are going to miss you they are talking about how much they love fucking you and how much they are going to miss your vagina.
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That's a ridiculous statement. Firstly, she's saying she wants to fuck him again because he's a good lay, not because of any pity. Secondly, I find your blanket statement about men quite offensive. She says she has no time to put up with his "feelings", because believe it or not, we do have feelings. I miss the hell out of my ex, not because of her body or her sexual ability, but because she was an amazing person that I wish I could be with for the rest of my life. Sex isn't much of an issue to me or most of my friends, if we want to get laid all we have to do is go out to a pub on Saturday night and find a female with the same reason to be there. Most of us don't, because we would rather sleep with somebody that we have an emotional connection with.

OP; if you want to leave, just go. Don't drag it out, don't give him false hope, if you're certain about leaving him, it's best to just be honest about it and let him know that it's over. It sounds like he's much more into you than you are to him, and having sex with him one last time will probably just end up being a painful memory for him. You do seem pretty not fussed about the situation, but if he indeed loves you which he may well after spending 5 years with you, try to have the heart to let him down gently. Especially if he's in a bad headspace already.
 
OK well the statements I made don't necessarily reflect those of all men. Sorry if I came off sexist and mis-represented men as some people are a bit more sensitive. I highlighted my key points. I guess I am pretty cold and jaded. I have been around the block a few times.

Like I said before I think the best way to end a relationship is to have sex after you both know its over and that its going to be the last time. That's just my opinion and experience. I also really like the last kiss. I always remember the last kiss from a woman I cared about.

I usually date a woman because she is the best one I can find. But when I start talking all this "I love you and I am going to miss you" stuff its usually because I am thinking that its going to be hard to replace this woman and I would rather just stay with her.

This man may genuinely be in love with you and he is terrified of losing you. That's obvious. You were together for a long time.

I am not saying I am an emotionless psychopath but I think that from my own experience when a guy pours it on thick like that he is freaking out because he knows he is not going to be able to find a woman of the same caliber easily. That might just be me though. I hate knowing a relationship is about to end and having to consider my options in terms of what woman I am going to be sleeping with next.

Sure you can go out drinking and get laid but the women are usually drunk, not that good looking, shallow, and/or playing games. So yeah you might get laid but usually end up waking up next to one evil bitch or something that is coyote ugly. The worse thing is to wake up next to your ex-gf....

Yeah honestly I think you should fuck the shit out of him before you leave but tell him its over. It will hurt less for both of you if you have one really good night together. I wouldn't want to end it bitterly and he is trying to stand by you and even follow you so I am sure he would feel better if you made love one more time and if you want sex than you already know he does.
 
I don't think you should. It would make him think there is the possibility of more, which you clearly indicate there isn't. So no, don't do it.
 
dopemaster said:
I usually date a woman because she is the best one I can find. But when I start talking all this "I love you and I am going to miss you" stuff its usually because I am thinking that its going to be hard to replace this woman and I would rather just stay with her.

This man may genuinely be in love with you and he is terrified of losing you. That's obvious. You were together for a long time.

I am not saying I am an emotionless psychopath but I think that from my own experience when a guy pours it on thick like that he is freaking out because he knows he is not going to be able to find a woman of the same caliber easily. That might just be me though. I hate knowing a relationship is about to end and having to consider my options in terms of what woman I am going to be sleeping with next.
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I know exactly what you're talking about and feeling that way doesn't make you a psycho. Just a matter of being familiar with someone combined with the fear of being alone. Being alone sucks for a million different reasons.
I do the same shit when a girl's about to break up with me or I fucked up or whatever. "I don't want this, I don't want to be without you, etc." Most the time it's just cause I didn't wanna be alone or start the whole process over. Like you're saying. It's almost never had anything to do with actual love.
The people that jump into a relationship at a early age with someone they actually love are pretty fucking lucky. I haven't met many of them, but there's gotta be some. Most the rest of us are just trying on different people until we find a right fit.

I don't know. I still don't think she should fuck him. Not cause I think it's principally wrong but because I think she's thinking of doing it for the wrong reasons.
 
Mel22 said:
Make a decision as to whether you want to be with him or not. State this clearly and make it final. Do not fuck him. Do not lead him on any longer.

You say you have no time to even listen to him - let him go so he can find someone who does.

A five year relationship is ending - it may mean nothing to you, but it will be hard for him. A little empathy and maturity wouldn't hurt.
Click to expand...
^ This (is the mature option).
 
missmeyet? said:
Yes, but remember she said he wanted to maintain the relationship even long distance..she is the one who refuses to go that route. She also said that when he was always trying to talk to her about his feelings and other serious stuff she was too busy watching TV to deal with it. Matter of fact I think her statement is she doesn't have time to listen to his shit when he wants to talk about his feelings and the relationship. My point is, he is way more into her from what she says and she comes across as pretty heartless and basically over the whole thing. If what she says is true he would definitely read way more into the sex than there is and she would somewhat be toying with his emotions or using him one last time because he is good at what he does not because of any feelings or hope to maintain the relationship.

Sounds pretty unfair to him IMO.
Click to expand...

Good points.

If that is the case, I guess sex would (intentional or not) probably drive the guy temporarily crazy and he'd be desperate to try to maintain the relationship.
You are probably right.
 
Attn:O/P
Personally,I would tell you to do what you would feel is best both for you guys as single beings with concious and for both as a relationship if any involved,that is ,is there is any feelings invovled from each one of you.Think,"what will be best for ME,if I am actually with this guy for any reason other that to kill time and sex".Many ppl say long distance relationships font function,but I can assure that if true honesty is invovled and no "devil" is accompanied,both can remain happy,assuming you still maintain your busy schedule and HE matures.But,the ultimatum is yours ONLY bcuz I believe you took the situation into account and you are the one making the money present time being.
 
You might as well but at least tell him you are going to break up with him or want to end the relationship, and that you are moving OR have him move with you or eventually move to the state where you are moving to if you want to continue having a relationship with him.
 
outofit said:
We are agreeing to end our relationship because of distance. We will have been together almost 5 years by january when i am ready to leave. Though he feels as though it could still work in my experience ldr never work. we havent had sex in a while mainly because of pain issues and i think ive just lost my sex drive in general, i dont listen to him most of the time. im usually busy working or getting ready to go to work or watching tv to deal with his bum woe is me sadness talks when he tries to talk about his "feelings" to me, and shit. nobody got time for that.

hes always going on about how he loves me and will come out to colorado to be with me but idk what to think of that. anyways, should i try and initiate a goodbye fuck that'll leave the very pages of the kama sutra burning to a white-hot crisp in awe of carnal complexity (this boy can PUT IT DOWN) or should i just try and distance myself further to lessen the pain of leaving/distance?
Click to expand...

I'm all for the idea, why the hell not.

Tell him your decision and that its final. Tell him you want one last night. See how he reacts and go from there.
 
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