A lot of people have had very negative experiences with Methadone and I understand why. Methadone detox, 7 days, 21 days, typically doesn't work. This is because it treats the withdrawals (possibly) but the not the psychological addiction. Additionally, long term methadone maintenance and then detox leaves the patient with crippling withdrawal symptoms that often lead right back to addiction. While I'm just now getting off of methadone, I believe that it has helped me a significant amount. I had a 6-8 month IV Dilaudid habit, and finally got off by starting methadone. Luckily I found a doctor to prescribe it to me so I didn't have to suffer through the clinic BS everyday. (I did that for a couple weeks, and it's miserable)
Considering it's been a couple of days, I'm assuming you're still on the methadone, but the best advice I think anyone can give you if you're going to use Methadone to get off of heroin is to keep your dose as low as you possibly can. People at the clinic sometimes go as high as 200-300mg per day and there is NO reason for that, except that they want to get high. I know at the clinic there is a lot of pressure from doctors, from other patients to continue to increase your dose, but don't do it. You went to the clinic to get clean, so get clean! Keep your dose low as it will make your life SO much easier in the future. I started at 20mg, went up to 40, and quickly went back down to 30 realizing there was no need for me to be at 40mg. I tapered my dose over the course of 3-4 months and during that time, instead of doing what I had been doing while I was using, I used the opportunity to change my surroundings. Methadone will not cure your addiction, nothing can, but it can help you get out of the lifestyle you've been living for the last year. On methadone, you don't need your heroin dealer, you don't need your drug-user friends. You can carry on with your normal life, and use it to get into a healthy routine that will help to carry you through your recovery once you're able to get off of the methadone. Even then, you will be addicted to methadone, but it is possible to wean yourself down low enough so the withdrawals are manageable (Or so I've heard. I was only able to wean myself down to 5mg before quitting.) Maybe what it'll take it moving to a new town where you don't know any dealers, changing your pace, get a new job, go back to school, pursue a music career, get addicted to some fucking video games, ANYTHING that makes you happy, and makes you excited to get up in the morning–Pursue that thing while on the methadone, as you'll need it once you're off.
Once you get off the methadone, a certain amount of recovery still needs to take place. What no one else has mentioned is that you will never be able to "cure" your addiction. You're an addict, and it will never go away. You could be clean for 20 years and by a stroke of luck find some h, and become instantly addicted all over again. You've experienced the extreme ecstasy that is opiates and you may forget what that feels like eventually, but as soon as you taste it again, there is a high likelihood of you becoming addicted again. When I say ecstasy, you know what I really mean, the purity, ease, coolness and beauty of life that heroin gives you because your brain has forgotten how to. You need to find a way to manage your addiction, and for many, even though this sucks, and I personally have NEVER gone to a meeting (I will need to start soon,) NA meetings help a lot of people stay clean. You need to be honest with your loved ones, and let them know whats going on. You've seen by now that this is no minor affliction. This is a disease that rules peoples lives, often to their deaths. Don't treat it like it's something you can get away from without effort, because it will take an extreme amount of effort, and probably a lot of miserable moments, but it will all be worth it when you're clean and no longer a slave to your addiction. Get all the support you can, tell your friends, tell your family, let them help you stay clean. It may seem like something to be ashamed of, but there is no shame in becoming an addict. It can and does happen to anyone. Prove how strong you are to them by overcoming it.
One final note: Anyone can get addicted to opiates, that's easy. When I was younger, people used to brag about how much they could drink, or how big a line of blow they rack, how big of a bag they could slam, like it was cool. Getting addicted isn't impressive, or cool, anyone can do that without even trying. What's really worth bragging about is getting clean. Not everyone can do that, and a lot of people don't. How impressive is it to hear someone say they slammed a gram of heroin a day for an entire year.. And haven't touched it in since. You sound like a very headstrong individual, so look inside yourself, realize what potential you have and stop wasting it. There is SO much world out there to experience–you have an infinite amount of potential and possibility. Why are you letting a substance control you? Don't let it hold you back any more, do what it takes to get clean.
GOOD LUCK! You can do it! Stay strong, and try to think outside the teeny tiny world of addiction. (I know how small it can get, but there's a big big world out there with billions of non addicts)Keep posting as there are thousands of members on here that want to see you get clean and will help you in any way they can.
-B
