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My battle with first time MDMA-induced anxiety/insomnia and route to normality

rich2013

Bluelighter
Joined
May 20, 2013
Messages
25
Hi everyone, this is my 4th, maybe 5th [long-winded] post. It started near enough a month ago- I'd finished my year one university exams so everyone on my course decided to go out and celebrate. A couple of my friends were talking about doing some MDMA (I had no idea what this was) but me being me, having an open mind to everything, I wasn't immediately dismissive of the idea, nor was I planning on doing it. So later on when I'd been drinking I ended up doing roughly 0.2g-0.25g of MDMA, half in a bomb and half snorted. To cut a long story short, I now have anxiety. I've heard of a few other people who have experienced the same thing.

Some things to note:
-No family history of anxiety disorders/depression.
-Only other drug done was weed, and this was only twice last year.
-I drink roughly every two weeks. (I'm now stopping for a while :P)
-18 years old, healthy athletic person.
-I have an excellent diet and I take multivitamins and Neurozan plus which contains 5htp.
-I exercise daily.

Time after MDMA:
-Week 1: Felt extremely anxious and uncomfortable with nightsweats, panic attacks, paranoia and terrible insomnia, maybe getting 4 hours sleep a night.
-Week 2: Joined the gym again and started feeling better. Nightsweats and panic attacks subsided and i was getting better, less interrupted sleep.
-Week 3: Started feeling less anxious but more depersonalised and confused, unable to accept I had anxiety which worried me slightly.
-Week 4: I went to Download festival for a week (I was working there) and began to feel MUCH better. I found myself feeling much more normal and really enjoyed the festival. I drank a little bit on the first and second night and only felt slightly anxious, but it soon went.

ANYWAY, on the last two nights of the festival I drank loads of booze, enough to have an awesome time but not too much, or at least that's what I thought. So the following morning I felt really anxious and worried, very confused and disorientated. The poor quality of sleep the entire week hadn't helped but I knew these symptoms were caused by the drinking. Everything had been going fine up to then.

So here I am, 3 days after that. I've been having bad nightsweats and very interrupted sleep. I'd say I'm at 'Week 2' of when I did the MDMA. The alcohol has sorta put my back a few places. This could also be considered alcohol withdrawal but I believe it's a chemical balance like before, or maybe they're exactly the same! :P

I've come to terms with my anxiety now and I've accepted it as what it is- the body's natural defence mechanism. I may have always been an anxious person, I'm not sure. I can't remember ever feeling anxious before unless I've had too much caffeine, but it didn't bother me. My anxiety is worse in the morning, mainly due to the vivid dreaming I'm experiencing right now. I'd say it takes a good 2-3 hours after waking up before I start feeling less dreamy and confused. When I eat good clean carbs and after I go the gym I feel much more like myself again. High sugar foods can make me feel anxious too.



If anyone is out there who is going through this, knows anyone who is going through this or has BEEN through this I would love to hear from you!

Things that are hugely helping me right now:
-Accept the anxiety is a harmless, natural responce. Don't try to fight it and make it 'go away'.
-Join a gym or take up cycling. Get an exercise routine.
-AVOID LARGE QUANTITIES OF ALCOHOL.
-Avoid caffeine.
-Try not to have too much sugar.
-Keep distracted- facebook and videogames help. I'm playing League of Legends right now, add me if you want :)
-Stay social.


If anyone has any questions or wants more information just ask.

Thanks,

Rich




EDIT: I found this thread very helpful, check it out! http://www.dpselfhelp.com/forum/ind...very-from-substance-induced-anxiety-disorder/
 
Last edited:
Ha funny you should mention the but about NOT drinking large quantities of alcohol.

I would have to agree with this. Im not a typically anxious person although I have minor bouts of mild anxiety after drink and drugs. however when I get extremely drunk I always suffer from more noticeable anxietly.......this is known as the FEAR! or the vodka guilt.

There are few things I find more anxiety inducing than those thoughts of "what the fuck did I do last night" or "why did I say that to her" or "I cant believe I did that!"

I had a very expensive meal out last weekend during a 10hour booze binge. I was still cringing on the Tuesday at being way too loud in a top restaurant and being a bit of a tit.

I ve just had to get on with things and not keep mulling over these thoughts as they made me uncomfortable and slighty anxious................if you are a typically anxious person the FEAR could get the better of you. Im fine now!- Back to my normal self who says "who gives a fuck!" - life is for living

EDIT:- agree with the other points too
 
Ha funny you should mention the but about NOT drinking large quantities of alcohol.

I would have to agree with this. Im not a typically anxious person although I have minor bouts of mild anxiety after drink and drugs. however when I get extremely drunk I always suffer from more noticeable anxietly.......this is known as the FEAR! or the vodka guilt.

There are few things I find more anxiety inducing than those thoughts of "what the fuck did I do last night" or "why did I say that to her" or "I cant believe I did that!"

I had a very expensive meal out last weekend during a 10hour booze binge. I was still cringing on the Tuesday at being way too loud in a top restaurant and being a bit of a tit.

I ve just had to get on with things and not keep mulling over these thoughts as they made me uncomfortable and slighty anxious................if you are a typically anxious person the FEAR could get the better of you. Im fine now!- Back to my normal self who says "who gives a fuck!" - life is for living

EDIT:- agree with the other points too


I'm the same, when I wake up after a heavy night out I'm always thinking "fuck, did I really do that? was that me? hopefully no one took pictures!" It's only natural I think, embarrassment is another strong emotion. Thanks for the reply, I can't wait to get my 'who gives a fuck' attitude back!
 
Good post man. You seem to be on the right track and the fact that the anxiety and DR are fluctuating is a great sign for eventual return to normalcy.

Booze is a double edge sword. It can really help you feel normal and have fun but at the same time it can upset a sensitive brain.

Good luck and keep us updated on your progress.
 
I took MDMA for the first time not too long ago (Jan i think) and had similar issues, especially in the first few weeks after. I found sleep hard, and i completely lost the ability to concentrate on anything for long periods of time (uni seminars were a nightmare). I think my main problem was that I couldn't believe I hadn't been doing this since I was 16.. it was so much fun and sooo much better than going out and drinking. I think my "anxiety", or whatever you want to call it, was mainly caused by a desire to do it again.. and that sort of scared me a little bit, especially as I was rather unfamiliar with drugs (except cannabis), and presumed addiction etc was setting in. Obviously MD isn't addictive.. but those few weeks sent me half crazy. Anyway, the way I got around it was doing it again (not sure how valid this advice is.. but it worked for me). I had an amazing time about a month later, on a similar dose, and it sort of grounded me. I realized I wasn't addicted, and that MDMA was just a thing I could do every now and again for fun. I could not believe how much more normal I felt after taking it the second time. Now i use it no more than once a month, and only if there are really good nights on in town. I'm not sure if what you're going through is similar to my experience, but I thought I'd post anyway! Good luck!
 
Ok, I woke up today and haven't really felt anxious yet. It's now been three hours since I woke up and I feel a lot more calm. However, I feel sort of down and depressed. Oh, I also got a great sleep last night :D Could this be a sign of recovery somehow?

I'm running out of Neurozan Plus (with 5htp) and have considered replacing it with a B complex vitamin by the same company. Should I buy more Neurozan Plus instead?

Cheers
 
You're thinking about feeling anxious, probably causing most of this in your own mind

Your brain is fine and you are fine. If drink is making you worse, cut it out totally for a while.

Man up! You'll be fine brother!
 
op, you took an extremely high dose of a drug you had never heard of for the first time. very irresponsible drug use, now you have a medical problem as a result, not surprising. Drugs can cause problems when over dosed on.
 
op, you took an extremely high dose of a drug you had never heard of for the first time. very irresponsible drug use, now you have a medical problem as a result, not surprising. Drugs can cause problems when over dosed on.

Actually I'm pretty much fine now. Not 100%, but much better. Thanks for such a helpful post, Mr. Positive.
 
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