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Is it wrong to hurt people just because i'm hurt??

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Lost Ego

Lost Ego

Bluelighter
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Jun 11, 2009
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Californiaaa
Warning: Rant thread...

In this thread i'm going to depict myself as a monster because right now i feel like one and i don't know if i wanna change.

I'm going out with a new girl 2 weeks after my last relationship ended... I thought i was over my ex but my feelings for her were just dormant. I realized a few days ago that i loved my ex(or atleast i'm still falling for her), more than i was aware and i regret fucking things up. I talked to her about it and there's no possible way that i could ever fucking get her back. And despite that... I still want her, i still can't get her off my mind. I was hoping this new girl would make her jealous but instead it just made her want me less =(.

This new girl thinks i'm over my ex and supposedly she's already falling for me. She isn't half as beautiful as my ex and she's annoying as hell. She is planning for our first time to be at a party she is throwing next weekend and god damnit i want sex. I was thinking about calling her right now and breaking it off because there is just no way that i'm ready for a relationship right now and then it hit me... "I want sex, i want to fuck her before i leave her.". Why should i care about some girl's feelings that i hardly know when i NEED this? This might just help me feel less sad. Fucking her will give me the relief that i need. Fucking her over, however, might just make me feel bad.

Idk what to do. With the position i'm in - lost my car and job recently - she's the only girl that'll be my sugar mama right now. I'm thinking maybe if i just took my mind off my ex, i could maybe move on and get back to atleast liking this new girl and keeping her around. Or maybe i should end it now and try to stay single (which i know i won't be able to do, i'm a man, i need sex and i need a steady gf to satisfy me). Or i could just fuck her for the next month and pretend i like her until i'm finally over my ex and hopefully at that point i'll already have a job again and be looking for a new girl to love. Idk. I'm so fucked up in the head right now, my thoughts are so fucking clouded. What's the worst thing that happens if i hurt this girl? Will i not go to heaven? Will karma bite me in my ass? Will this tendency to rebound with sex spiral out of control until i become a bad person? Will guilt accumulate until i wanna kill myself? The world will keep turning. Nothing will change.
 
its kind of lucky ive read this, because ive had similar thoughts about starting a relationship with anyone half attractive who is into me so that it kind of sends a message to the girl im in love with who is very blase about our bond.

sex is a lot more powerful than we would like... you would be making a mistake to hurt someone else after being hurt yourself because it does place you in a negative karmic cycle which will bite your ass down the road. also how would you feel in the shoes of that girl, being used for sex?

if you want to attract girls that will treat you the way they want to be treated, it doesnt make sense to be 'that guy' who uses people for their own selfish purposes. why can't you find someone who understands that its going to be a one night stand so the expectation is on the same level for both parties involved?

if your in a bad place right now because of your ex situation, its the way that you handle things now which will help define you as a person, the more you repeat a certain type of action when you are put in a corner, it is going to have ramifications in your life in the future.

also im not talking out of my ass because i totally understand the need for sex and its been wayy too long for me personally but even with how long its been for me I wouldn't even consider hurting someone else so i can have something warm and cosy to cum into.
 
In my experience if you have revenge sex you will regret it when the woman you actually love finds out. It almost zeroes chances of working things out permanently unless she cheated on you. If she cheated on you and you cheated on her well I doubt you two will work things out.

I don't think its wrong to rebound. If she knows you just got out of a relationship its usually an unsaid understanding that its a rebound thing. A rebound can boost your self esteem and ego, but isn't the healthiest for you always. I suppose it depends on how dependent you are on sex. Sex dependence can be a slippery slope.

Its not good to get a bad reputation as someone who cheats and fucks just anyone. Its good to get some strange, but why are you still with her if you don't like her. Do you need a place to stay or money? Id stick with her if I had nothing else. That's not advice, its just what Id do. Id also try to work things out with who I really wanted to be with.

When both of those inevitably fail its time to raise your standards and find someone beautiful inside and outside and have a meaningful relationship.
 
it's wrong but somewhat natural to want to hurt someone when you're hurt, resist the urge to, i'd say break it off with the girl you're with ASAP and try make things good with your ex, even if you'll never have her back you should at least try to stay on good terms her, explain the situation to your current girlfriend, She'll probably be upset but I imagine she'll understand as long as you're straight with her.

Put simply your actions either way probably won't help you get over your ex but they will decide whether or not you have a friend who's supportive about it or someone who will likely grow to resent you and from the sounds of it you could use a supportive friend at the minute.
 
I wouldn't tell her I slept with someone else. I had told a woman Id fucked some other women while we were broke up for about two weeks and she seemed ok at the time but in the long run she kept bringing it up and it probably caused us to break up for good even though we got back together for a while. Things were not the same.We were broke up, but I guess she didn't really want to break up, just to fuck with my head. I think she felt like we didn't have a special connection anymore if I could just fuck someone else. The relationship was so passionate in the beginning and even when we broke up she would come pleading.

Thing was it hurt so bad when we split up I chose to sleep with some other women to make myself feel better. I had broken up with her in an attempt to get her to cut her bullshit. She was just becoming unrealistic in terms of expectations. I couldn't be her whole emotional support system. She wanted me to be her therapist or something. I was so supportive. She didn't plead for me not to leave like usual. Usually with her if I acted like I wanted to break up she would change her bullshit behavior.

Well anyways we got back together but she would always throw this you don't really love me shit because you fucked this woman and that woman. I would say we were broke up and so what does it matter. She would say if you really cared you would have blah blah blah.

She was a needy person though. All the same it seems that if you break up often its kinda considered cheating by less mature women when you see other people immediately. Maybe its a jealousy or self esteem thing. She was drop dead gorgeous or a dime if you want to be low class about her description. But she seemed to have self esteem issues or at least pretended to. She was a trip and quite dramatic.

But I digress to my point that it may hurt her to know you were seeing someone else. I don't know you or your gf so Im just relating my experiences.
 
Well...yeah I do think it's a bit wrong. You can't use and hurt people for your own personal gain...that girl deserves better than to be dragged along simply for you to feel better about yourself, no offense. It's not going to help you either.
 
i will never understand what changed in humanity to allow people to think its acceptable to use and abuse other people, their kindness and emotional state for ruthless self gain. the two reasons you gave for this and have justified to yourself is that you need a sugar mama and sex. you have also described that she isnt as attractive as your ex, she is annoying as hell and after two weeks are already rationalizing how to get what you want from her, and leave to pursue your desires for your ex girlfriend. like pagey has mentioned, i have moral issues with what you have described, and feel that taking from this woman until you work out what will best for you is wrong. im not sure what consequences (if any) will occur if you go along with this decision; but i know that i couldnt treat people like objects of my own entertainment and simply walk away knowing id hurt them intentionally, with zero remorse or conscience.

...kytnism...:|
 
TBH it sounds like the girl is already emotionally attached to you , with or without having had sex.

Would it be worse to hurt a girl's feelings for sex, or to hurt her feelings and not get the sex, knowing she will be just as hurt?

You might as well get something for the negative karma you're believing you'll get due to your actions.

...or... you could find a girl who is down for having sex for sex's sake, like I ALWAYS recommend to people (and people never listen to me)
 
Yeah, don't drag along the girl. She has feelings for you. You should break up with her asap so she doesn't get even more hurt. Don't drag this poor girl around when she has done nothing wrong.
If you're looking for sex, maybe just try for a one night stand with someone you meet at a bar or a club or something like that.
 
90% of woman i meet want a relationship and it's nearly impossible to find that chick that just wants sex... SO... i'm not gonna just be alone for the next month while i look for that gal.

Do you know how hard it would be for me to break it off with her knowing i'll get laid on saturday? Like it's guaranteed and there are so many benefits to reap by staying with her. I know it's selfish and ruthless but idk. I used to like this girl and ever since i started talking to my ex i could care less about her. I think there's a possibility that i could get over my ex and stay with her in the mean time, that way i have a girl there waiting for me when i'm ready for emotional attachment. I don't plan to leave her right after having sex but i don't know if i'm gonna develop any feelings.

I think it might be easier if was just honest with her and said that i was lying when i said i was over my ex and idk if i'm gonna develop any emotions any time soon because of it and that i could still see us having fun together and being there for one another. That sort of commitment i could handle. I just dno if i wanna risk losing my poontang.

And to reitterate myself i'm not gonna leave her for my ex. And that's because my ex will never give me another chance. I was talking to my ex last night and the night before and there's no way. I was crying to her on the phone telling her how much i missed her, how much i loved her, yada yada yada. Now she's saying she never gave a fuck about me and i guess she was just using me. Idk if she just said that to be hurtful but idk. If she was gonna take me back i'd leave my current gf in a heartbeat but there's 0% chance that will happen. I don't think it's unfair to my current gf to not tell her that because it's improbable and impossible.
 
Lost Ego said:
I think it might be easier if was just honest with her and said that i was lying when i said i was over my ex and idk if i'm gonna develop any emotions any time soon because of it and that i could still see us having fun together and being there for one another. That sort of commitment i could handle. I just dno if i wanna risk losing my poontang.
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id say theres a 95% chance that she would say fuck off if you said that

have you though of pursuing women in 30s, once girls mature they often are more sure of what they want from a relationship and i'm sure theres plenty that are sick of relationships and just want sex
 
eh she likes me alot, i'm sure she'd sacrifice anything to be with me. but yeah i think there's a 50% chance that she'll not wanna deal with it. this is too big of a decision for me. it'd be the honorable and civil thing to do but... ugh... why does pussy have to be so alluring?

and lol so many milfs would love to fuck me, i know that but most of em i try hitting on are married
 
well i just told her that i wasn't over my ex and probably wasn't gonna love her anytime soon through a long ass text. i haven't gotten a response back yet or anything... i doubt this will make me a better person, it's just gonna make it so i can't get pussy anymore.
 
yeah we're prolly gonna break up. she told me if we did stay together there was no way she was gonna sleep with me on saturday. damn it lmao! it sucks trying to be a good guy :P
 
Lost Ego said:
well i just told her that i wasn't over my ex and probably wasn't gonna love her anytime soon through a long ass text. i haven't gotten a response back yet or anything... i doubt this will make me a better person, it's just gonna make it so i can't get pussy anymore.
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you sound like someone who wants to have your cake and eat it too. Which can be just fine sometimes, however, the fact that you actually think it's somehow okay to step on somebody else to get ahead, and even be fully aware that what you're doing is despicable, mean, wrong, hurtful, and selfish - is so very not fine.

Just so you know - you do not NEED sex. You WANT it. And trust me, this is coming from somebody who's irritated if I'm not doing it all the damn time. Here's a far-fetched example: let's say that you were flying in an airplane and it crashed and you were stranded on an island by yourself. You do not need "poontang," as you so eloquently referred to it, to survive. In fact, I'd be willing to bet that would be a pretty far off thought in your mind, as you would be concerned with getting things you really need (water, food, shelter) as opposed to a piece of ass.

There's plenty of ways to find females who are willing to have some NSA (no strings attached) sex; you just have to do a tiny bit of work and look around. Or go into bars about 20 minutes before closing time, and take home the sloppy drunk ones. (no - I don't personally condone this.)
 
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littlepenguin said:
um....yeah, well first - your screenname is "lost ego.."
it must be trendy to make a screenname for yourself that is COMPLETELY opposite of what is realistic???
'cuz your ego's not lost, it's allupinmyfacelikewhoa.

I know folks are supposed to be a bit sensitive and understanding when replying to these threads, but to tell you the truth, I don't think you deserve much coddling with an attitude like yours.

Frankly, you sound like a whiny little something, who wants to have your cake and eat it too. Which can be just fine sometimes, however, the fact that you actually think it's somehow okay to step on somebody else to get ahead, and even be fully aware that what you're doing is despicable, mean, wrong, hurtful, and selfish - is so very not fine.

Just so you know - you do not NEED sex. You WANT it. And trust me, this is coming from somebody who's irritated if I'm not doing it all the damn time. Here's a far-fetched example: let's say that you were flying in an airplane and it crashed and you were stranded on an island by yourself. You do not need "poontang," as you so eloquently referred to it, to survive. In fact, I'd be willing to bet that would be a pretty far off thought in your mind, as you would be concerned with getting things you really need (water, food, shelter) as opposed to a piece of ass.

There's plenty of ways to find females who are willing to have some NSA (no strings attached) sex; you just have to do a tiny bit of work and look around. Or go into bars about 20 minutes before closing time, and take home the sloppy drunk ones. (no - I don't personally condone this, but it seems to be on the OP's level.) at least then you can just have a one night stand and not have to get to know the girl, or have her get to know you (and fall in love with you because you're so damn fabulous, like all the other girls do, right?)
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lol I dont think you can really take the spiritual high ground after using half of your post to bash the OP, after he made the decision you would support

your way of arguing isn't going to convince many people to your side
 
Mysterie said:
lol I dont think you can really take the spiritual high ground after using half of your post to bash the OP, after he made the decision you would support

your way of arguing isn't going to convince many people to your side
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there, I fixed it - just for you <3

I don't need to take any spiritual high grounds to anywhere - I don't think I'm better than anyone, smarter, wiser - none of that. I was telling it like it is, and it's unfortunate that many people can't handle that. I was stating my opinion on the situation and the op's apparent outlook on the way he thinks it's acceptable to treat people; I wasn't looking for anyone to agree with me.

And nowhere in this thread do I see any decision that the OP has made that I would support.

Sorry for being off topic, folks.
 
Mysterie said:
lol I dont think you can really take the spiritual high ground after using half of your post to bash the OP, after he made the decision you would support

your way of arguing isn't going to convince many people to your side
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it's alright man. he didn't say many nice things but i think he means well.

littlepenguin said:
you sound like someone who wants to have your cake and eat it too. Which can be just fine sometimes, however, the fact that you actually think it's somehow okay to step on somebody else to get ahead, and even be fully aware that what you're doing is despicable, mean, wrong, hurtful, and selfish - is so very not fine.

Just so you know - you do not NEED sex. You WANT it. And trust me, this is coming from somebody who's irritated if I'm not doing it all the damn time. Here's a far-fetched example: let's say that you were flying in an airplane and it crashed and you were stranded on an island by yourself. You do not need "poontang," as you so eloquently referred to it, to survive. In fact, I'd be willing to bet that would be a pretty far off thought in your mind, as you would be concerned with getting things you really need (water, food, shelter) as opposed to a piece of ass.

There's plenty of ways to find females who are willing to have some NSA (no strings attached) sex; you just have to do a tiny bit of work and look around. Or go into bars about 20 minutes before closing time, and take home the sloppy drunk ones. (no - I don't personally condone this.)
Click to expand...

no i'm in the wrong here, i know this and she probably deserves better. i need pussy in the same away an addict needs dope. i neeed it. i may need it less than food, water, shelter and my computer but since i already have those bases covered i can move on to the next highest priority - procreation. and i'm too young to go to bars... 6 more months xD. no it's not okay to step on other people to get ahead but nobody is gonna look out for me, my feelings and my needs but myself; and it's not my duty to look out for her feelings either. but guess what, i did and for no good reason. the only reason you don't do bad is because you don't have the power to. maybe one day you'll realize that you're just as selfish, just as wicked as i am.
 
If it was me Id get some pussy. Straight up. Id also try to get back with my previous gf as she is clearly who you want to be with. I wouldnt feel guilty about it for one second.

Since when is playing the field a sin. I mean dating around is natural and people dont usually date with the intention of marriage. I think some people are being a bit oversensitive. Its just like date have sex and move on to something better whenever possible.

You can call me shallow or scum but yeah I dont see whats wrong with having sex with someone your dating just because you dont love them. I dont need to love a woman to shag her. She simply has to be a willing partner and attractive to me. If it doesnt work out, oh well, too bad, better luck next time, have a nice life.
 
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