suicide notes....possibly triggering?

[bunnymunro]

Hi,
it is coming up the first anniversary of my brother's suicide.
No note was left, which some people were puzzled by.... I guess I accepted it, as my ex GF remarked, "once you start one. where do you stop?"
I recently stumbled across the following statement;

When someone in Love or a Relationship commits suicide leaving behind a letter, its done not out of Love, but Hate. Its done to ruin the other party, make sure they never rise up again because even if the Law finds them innocent, the Guilt, Real or Imagined, mostly Imagined, will be hard to beat. In short, Its the Suicide Bomber mentality at work.

I was wondering what others think of this statement?

Mods, I am not sure if this post should have possible trigger alert, or whether it should be in TDS or SLR, please place or put alert on as necesary

 

[Captain.Heroin]

I disagree, suicide notes aren't written out of hatred. Everyone has a specific reason and it is wrong to say that they are all written out of hate.

 

[bunnymunro]

I disagree, suicide notes aren't written out of hatred. Everyone has a specific reason and it is wrong to say that they are all written out of hate.

Yes, fully fair call, CH, I didn't write the quote, just c&p d it from a fb status ... however, I guess that if I were to tweak it and/or analyze it I think that what he is saying, is that someone who leaves a note explaining their reasons, or whatever, may well ,whether intentionally or not, cause certain people in their lives to carry more burden than they would carry had here been no note.

 

[Mysterie]

Yes, fully fair call, CH, I didn't write the quote, just c&p d it from a fb status ... however, I guess that if I were to tweak it and/or analyze it I think that what he is saying, is that someone who leaves a note explaining their reasons, or whatever, may well ,whether intentionally or not, cause certain people in their lives to carry more burden than they would carry had here been no note.

i always had the impression that killing yourself and leaving no note is worse than expressing the emotions on paper before you commit the act

however having just read what I wrote I cant imagine the writings of someone that deep in hopelessness would make anyone feel better about it...

like CH said its all pretty subjective and comes down to the person

 

[aussiegirl]

I tried to kill myself after losing my daughter, I decided to leave a note so I could explain to people why I had to try to kill myself.i was sooo very lucky that my worker was VERY smart and got the cops to find me through my phone. My heart stopped just as the ambulances arrived! I am glad to be alive today... I am sooo very sorry about your brother! I tell everyone I meet, please don't kill yourself, no matter how bad things are now, they will get better! I hope you'll be ok on your brothers anniversary! Praying for you & your family!! ;/

 

[Captain.Heroin]

I tried to kill myself after losing my daughter, I decided to leave a note so I could explain to people why I had to try to kill myself.i was sooo very lucky that my worker was VERY smart and got the cops to find me through my phone. My heart stopped just as the ambulances arrived! I am glad to be alive today... I am sooo very sorry about your brother! I tell everyone I meet, please don't kill yourself, no matter how bad things are now, they will get better! I hope you'll be ok on your brothers anniversary! Praying for you & your family!! ;/

I'm glad you're still around too aussie girl

 

[mrflowers00]

i never wrote suicide notes because i didn't want their last memories of me to be i'm sorry but good by

 

[Foreigner]

When I attempted suicide, I left a note. The note was later used by my therapist to help me deconstruct the mindset I was in so that I could recognize it in the future and take different action. I found my own note rather disturbing after the fact. When I look at it now, I am so thankful that I didn't succeed... because the learning I've done since then can answer every single issue that I wrote about in the letter.

I've lost friends to suicide and I know others who have to. The ones that don't leave notes tends to leave a lot of unanswered questions. No note will ever complete the whole picture, but it still makes an attempt.

For others, the emotional exhaustion is so extreme that writing a note is next to impossible. For people that spiral in this way, the reasons that they committed suicide may be more obvious to those who know them, even if it's hard to accept.

 

[bunnymunro]

Thanks for your replies and points of view. I guess each situation is different, and in my situation, (or my brother's) I think it was a spur of the moment thing, although I know that the idea had been at the back of his mind for some time. I am guessing that perhaps he figured that those who knew the picture of where his life was at didn't need a note, and those who didn't, didn't need to know. I still find it hard to deal with, but there is little that can be done about it now...

 

[username13]

The anniversary date is a painful time. No note huh? Try not to read into that too much, but maybe you are searching for answers to get through the grieving process and find acceptance?. I suffered two tragic suicides without notes. Maybe a note would have lead to some closure or provided answers to the many questions, or have just raised more questions. There is so much pain and suffering involved, i can see how they would say something about a note being hurtful, but i would not try to read into that statement too much, find your own level of closure in your own way on your own time.

 

[herbavore]

One of the things that has been so difficult for me in the past is to live with the not-knowing whether our son's death was intentional, semi-intentional or purely accidental. It has been two years now and this year I finally made deep peace with that uncertainty (and wrote about it here on his shrine). I wanted to have some writing from him, some words to help me in his absence. I think that how I finally was able to let it go was the realization that he was truly beyond all the narratives of his life--those he wrote in his own head and those we all wrote for him in our heads. Under all the narratives lives the truth: there was love, there is great loss and there is still love. I know this is true for his brother as well as for my husband and me. I know that is true for you and your brother as well. May you rest comfortably in the knowledge that he is free of all that weighed so heavily on him and that the love that you shared lasts beyond this packaging that we call our bodies.