My not so dramatic request for help

[Samuelg]

I came to this section because I'm in the process of quitting long term stimulant use (speed (amphetamine sulphate here in the UK) and RCs such as MPA and EPH, daily via nose or via needle and for a sort while rectal.

I read a few other posts before i started this one and I really thought i was having it hard some of you guys, my heart really goes out to you all and i wish you the best of luck with, what in comparison my tiny problem.

Onto the help having not artificially stimulated varies CNS paths in 2 days i'm feeling the effects, the worst is the tiredness, all the time. I'm just permanently existing in a kinda fugue state wandering around until i can be along and try and sleep again, i then have trouble sleeping but that predates and perhaps caused the uppers usage, I'm achey, i have an interesting few lumps where i retiredly shot EPH 6-APB combo which i plan to get looked at if they aren't gone in a few days and oddly im crying a lot, at tv shows, books, even writing tis frigging post

I am between Anti depressants at the moment and waiting for a referral to a psychology dept and its really all coming crashing down around me, my family dont know about it (well they do but we dont talk about such things it seems) and i've no one to talk to and i dont even know what i want to say.

How can i help the tiredness and get back once was a great motivation to do things? I always brushed aside the risks of RCs especially long term and now im regretting its changed who i am and i want to go back.

 

[GenericName12]

I can't emphasize with and I don't know too much about long term stimulant use but what I can say is don't feel like your problem is not worthy. Your "tiny" problem is still very important. I used to feel the exact same way.

I'm sure someone else will come along shortly with more specific opinions.

edit:

In terms of what to say to someone, the first thing that opened me up to someone in real life was talking about my usage and how it made me feel. It was almost a relief for someone else to know my problems. From thereon everything else just came naturally.

 

[tocooperate]

the answer has become simpler every time i go through a recovery / relapse cycle: *keep yourself occupied no matter what*. you cannot allow your mind to get restless enough to induce cravings, you need to be active and consumed by something (like work) where you are responsible to other people. by the time you are done with this for the day, you will be too exhausted to think or do anything- thats perfectly fine, hit the sack and don't think back [i say]!

^eventually you will come to appreciate the simplicity of the logic above (you are still in the doldrums yet)

oddly im crying a lot, at tv shows, books, even writing tis frigging post

not odd AT ALL buddy- this was the story of my life for over a half a year if you look back at some of my posts. at first i was crying due to realizations id made about my life, but after that passed i realized it left a heightened emotional reaction to every day stuff like music and tv (embarassing but i kinda enjoyed being able to *feel* the music )

 

[herbavore]

Congratulations on both your desire and your efforts at quitting. tocooperate is absolutely right that staying as busy as possible and then sleeping when tired is a good strategy. Also remember that you are used to the artificial energy and sense of time that being on stimulants gives you, so it will take time to adjust psychologically as well as physically.

Feeling hyper-emotional can be unnerving (especially if you are male) but try to relax into it. Feeling is what we humans were created to do! It is actually through feeling, and not numbing your feelings that your motivation and energy for life will return.

I really admire your courage. It is not easy to stop using drugs that you used for a reason in the first place. Now you have the negative effects of the use on top of whatever they temporarily covered over. That means that you are in completely new territory and that is never an easy place to be--but always rewarding. Stay strong, cry as much as you need to and give yourself the gift of your own friendship. Say positive things to yourself in your head. Keep us updated here. So many people on Bluelight have been where you are or are benefiting right now because they have not been able to take that first step--maybe this post from you will give them strength. There is strength in community and we are all the community.