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paxetlux

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Joined
May 31, 2013
Messages
5
Hellooo.
As of the past year or so, I've been doing excessive amounts of molly in short periods of time. I have told myself numerous times that I am going to take a break, but I don't have the will power to say no to it when it's offered to me.

Now, before people get upset with me: I know MDMA is NOT physically addictive...
But can it be psychologically addictive? Would I even know if I had a psychological addiction?


I'm sorry if this sounds stupid.

/First post ever.
 
hello paxetlux welcome to BL.

Sounds like you could be a bit psychologically addicted just on the basis you cant say no.

When you say excessive what kind of volume and dosages are we talking?

No one on here is going to judge or get upset with you just give you the real deal opinion on if you are harming yourself or not.

If you are taking too much and need to cut back one option might be to look at some alternative groups of people to hang out with or a change of lifestyle for a while.

Depends really on how fucked up you are getting. Tell us a bit more about usage.
 
I don't think it's anything harmful. No more than .2 when I do it, .4 on a very, very rare occasion (because I do it frequently, .2 doesn't always work). I mean, nothing's good for you in excess, but I don't think I'm getting fucked up.

It's becoming an every other weekend thing. Only one night every other weekend, but still...
I've turned it down a couple of times in the past few days, but it was almost like jealousy pangs watching everyone else rolling.


Oof... That's about it. lol.
 
But then again, I have no idea if I'm fucking myself up... Which is why I'm here.
I can tell myself that I'm not, but I don't know.
Also, I should have added, the every other weekend thing has only been for the past 4-5 months at the most.
 
Tbh, I did the every other weekend 2-3 times and the rolls weren't worth it, the feeling just wasn't anywhere the same. When I waited a week longer, there was a HUGE difference. 4-5weeks is optimal.

So I don't even know how you can enjoy it every other weekend, your tolerance will just sky rocket and it won't feel as good as it could with a proper break.

You shouldn't get peer pressured to roll, also if you keep doing this, you WILL hit a harsh comedown. Serotonin takes a while to get back to normal levels and if you just keep depleting them more and more, depression, DP/DR and the other bad stuff will get you. Whether you want to learn the hard way or not is your choice.
 
I don't enjoy it the way I used to at all, hah. That's exactly why I came to you guys.

I think I went a little over board :/
I'm set for an actual break now. It's not worth the crappy hangover, and lack of... well... ecstasy the night of taking it.
 
Just have that mindset that the longer you wait, the better the feeling will be. :) Also, it can be psychologically addictive, I seriously can't see myself never rolling again, but that doesn't mean I'm popping a bunch of pills each week, if you get my drift lol. You just need some better self control, it's a powerful drug that should be respected. I know it's hard when your buddies are rolling and you're left feeling like you missing out, well I've been in those cases and seriously, I still enjoyed my night. Those friends spread good vibes and I find it easy to catch their roll, energy and vibe when sober.
 
Okay that pattern of usage over time is seriousley going to fuck you up.

Im not making judgements but that is an honest and accurate opinion.

At best your going to get major serotonin down regulation and lose the magic of the drugs. At worst you could end up in a shivvering wreck with chronic anxiety and depression possibley lasting several months or years.

Most of us on here encourage use of max 200mG with a 3 month break.

I would say if you are having difficulty saying no to people then you really need to try and get out of that environment / lifestyle before you really do yourself some damage.

Most of us on here are users and ex users so arent just preaching just say No type hype.

A lot of us have suffered long term comedowns from the very type of use you describe and I swear to you that needs to be avoided at all costs. Have a look around the forum at some of the casualties of abuse and ask yourself the question if you would like that to be you?

I am really happy you have found this forum as you will find the information on hear about MDMA some of the best available and I really hope we can encourage you to get out of this pattern of abuse.

As you know MDMA can be an awesome experience and wonderful drug but it can also come out of nowhere and put you in a living nightmare you never even believed was possible.

I hope this doesnt sound like I am lecturing you or preaching but please have a think over these words before its too late.
 
Hapomen22 said:
Tbh, I did the every other weekend 2-3 times and the rolls weren't worth it, the feeling just wasn't anywhere the same. When I waited a week longer, there was a HUGE difference. 4-5weeks is optimal.

So I don't even know how you can enjoy it every other weekend, your tolerance will just sky rocket and it won't feel as good as it could with a proper break.

You shouldn't get peer pressured to roll, also if you keep doing this, you WILL hit a harsh comedown. Serotonin takes a while to get back to normal levels and if you just keep depleting them more and more, depression, DP/DR and the other bad stuff will get you. Whether you want to learn the hard way or not is your choice.
Click to expand...

This is totally true, back between 2001-2004 I used to take Ecstasy (pills but they were very high in MDMA back then in Ireland) on a Saturday and Sunday all night and day binge, virtually EVERY weekend...We would often take over 10 tablets in a night maybe 20 per weekend at times if we bought in bulk and got them for around 7 dollars each in your money. sometimes we would start on a Thursday and roll until Sunday - copious amounts of alcohol also and at least for me this is exactly what happened - after sometime of these continous binges (there would be the odd weekend off, but I think on average it was like 7 out of every 8 weekends) I just didnt enjoy it anymore and along my friends we all stopped at virtually the same time).. I eventually suffered from bad anxiety which I am gladly over now, but I am pretty sure (and my doctor also) that alot of the anxiety and depression was caused by my serotnin receptors simply being burned out, took me quite a while to get back to feeling ok again.. Funny thing is now I prefer to take a little bit of coke and smoke a little bit of smack but I dont do either of these drugs very regularly.. ..

.....For me personally MDMA/Ecstasy along with the psychedelic type of drugs like mushrooms and even weed did more damage to my psyche than cocaine or smack ever has, but that's just my personal makeup and brain chemistry not representative of most people I guess.. (I am NOT advocating those drugs, just giving a perspective on how powerful MDMA can be on ur brain chemistry)

Anyway my point is if you feel tired of the molly give yourself a long time to recover in between sessions and at least this way your brain will be able to repair itself - the problem in this part of the world 8 or 9 years ago was that we took FAR too much of the stuff and never gave our systems a chance to heal - I used to LOVE Ecstasy/MDMA but fomr what you describe it sound like your body is trying to tell you possibly to lay off it a little bit... Just my opinion though and sharing my experience with you, now I cant even think about a MDMA pill or molly without feeling sick

P.S. anytime I took MDMA powder/crystals (molly I guess you guys refer to it as in the US) I always had a better experience taking very small bumps spread out over time rahter than bombing alot of it at once, I would guess .3 / .4 at once is way too much if it is potent shit... I have dropped 0.5 and more in the past wrapped up in a rolling paper and its too powerful, small bumps of 0.05 are better and you can always top that up slowly... In the end when I stopped enjoying it it wasnt very hard to stop, but it had to get to the stage where I REALLY got fed up of it.. I'm rambling but hope this helps!!
 
futura2012 said:
Okay that pattern of usage over time is seriousley going to fuck you up.

Im not making judgements but that is an honest and accurate opinion.

At best your going to get major serotonin down regulation and lose the magic of the drugs. At worst you could end up in a shivvering wreck with chronic anxiety and depression possibley lasting several months or years.

Most of us on here encourage use of max 200mG with a 3 month break.

I would say if you are having difficulty saying no to people then you really need to try and get out of that environment / lifestyle before you really do yourself some damage.

Most of us on here are users and ex users so arent just preaching just say No type hype.

A lot of us have suffered long term comedowns from the very type of use you describe and I swear to you that needs to be avoided at all costs. Have a look around the forum at some of the casualties of abuse and ask yourself the question if you would like that to be you?

I am really happy you have found this forum as you will find the information on hear about MDMA some of the best available and I really hope we can encourage you to get out of this pattern of abuse.

As you know MDMA can be an awesome experience and wonderful drug but it can also come out of nowhere and put you in a living nightmare you never even believed was possible.

I hope this doesnt sound like I am lecturing you or preaching but please have a think over these words before its too late.
Click to expand...

Totally agree here with this post, MDMA used to be an awesome experience for me but I havent take it at all in about 4 years as my system just re-acts totally badly to it now...even if I was going to a festival now I would prefer some speed to keep me going as apposed to ecstasy & im fully sure that it was because of the pattern of usage I described earlier that really fucked up my enjoyment of MDMA

Your description of .3 or .4 on a regular basis would seem excessive and it will do damage to your serotonin receptors the longer it goes on
 
Hey opiate. Interesting post. So you used to do heavy drinking with your E? I'm really interested in this actually, because it was just one weekend similar to what you're describing that totally fucked me up and 8 months later I still don't fill the same.

I took 4 pills from Friday to Sunday along with heavy drinking and it rocked my world (and not in a good way). When you started out using were you doing multiple days in a row or is that something you eventually built up to.

The people I went with that weekend all did more than me but they were all fine. So in trying to find a variable that could explain my adverse reaction, the only thing I could come up with is that I was way more of a drinker than everybody else. I feel E and heavy drinking is quite a disastrous combination.
 
opiaterock said:
now I cant even think about a MDMA pill or molly without feeling sick
Click to expand...

The sick feeling I can definitely relate... I used to think MDMA pill smelt like sweet candy a lovely smell... now after abuse and 2 harsh comedowns, I can't stand the smell of my pills... I get nauseous and feel like puking just by smelling them.

Overall very good post man. MDMA is a serious drug that shouldn't be abused, or it's gonna be your worse nightmare for quite a few weeks or months.
 
I always end up taking drugs if they are offered for free. Don't bug yourself about it. You're not addicted until it's running your life, wanting to have a good time does not mean you are addicted. When you know it's fucking you up and you still persist - then you have a problem.
 
Pax, there are many people on here that have abused mdma worse than you, but every other week is still too often. That frequency will result in non-trivial damage, and, as you have seen, lack of efficacy of the drug. Take a break for 3 or 4 months before you come back and then try for every other month.
 
Hey opiate. Interesting post. So you used to do heavy drinking with your E? I'm really interested in this actually, because it was just one weekend similar to what you're describing that totally fucked me up and 8 months later I still don't fill the same.

I took 4 pills from Friday to Sunday along with heavy drinking and it rocked my world (and not in a good way). When you started out using were you doing multiple days in a row or is that something you eventually built up to.

The people I went with that weekend all did more than me but they were all fine. So in trying to find a variable that could explain my adverse reaction, the only thing I could come up with is that I was way more of a drinker than everybody else. I feel E and heavy drinking is quite a disastrous combination.
Click to expand...

@hello xyak during my more reckless days I would often go to festivals and mix MDMA with alcohol.

I never had an adverse reaction myself. the mixture of the two drugs makes you feel a bit weird and disorientated but I never had anything that became long lasting.

For me the long lasting reactions came from the coctail of other drugs. Have you ruled this out as a possible cause? I am not preaching at you and saying you are wrong about MDMA + alcohol being in the mix but its something to consider.

When I triggered my long term issues all my friends were fine too. I think its just one of those things when its your time its your time. Some can consume anything at a festival, drink like a fish and shrug it off on Monday. Some of us are unlucky i guess.
 
I dont think I ve ever taken any MDMA without at least a few drinks. Might need to give it a try.

Usually 2-3 bottles of beer is enough to put you into a nice relaxed frame of mind for getting messy on MDMA.
 
swedger77 said:
I dont think I ve ever taken any MDMA without at least a few drinks. Might need to give it a try.

Usually 2-3 bottles of beer is enough to put you into a nice relaxed frame of mind for getting messy on MDMA.
Click to expand...

From my only experience with alcohol+MDMA, I would have to agree with this. A beer before dropping wouldn't overpower the MD and puts you in a good state of mind. But I would have to say it makes the roll more self centered and less emphatic.
 
StrutterGear said:
You're not addicted until it's running your life, wanting to have a good time does not mean you are addicted. When you know it's fucking you up and you still persist - then you have a problem.
Click to expand...

Good advice. If taking drugs starts impacting on your monday to friday life then there is a problem. EG repeatedly not going into work as your feeling dog rough.
 
Swedger and others are you guys big drinkers in general? I'm wondering less about the drinks consumed while rolling and more about long term drinking potentially affecting ones reaction to mdma.
 
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