Ive been with this girl about 2 weeks. I found out last night she has mostly guy friends. Shes kinda geeky and really artsy. Should her guy friends be a problem.in a relationship? She says she doesnt like many females becsuse of there tendency to be too girly i guess. Should i have any concerns for the relationship?
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SLR Moderators: Senior Staff
Girlfriend and guy friends...?
- Thread starter Sleek65
- Start date
Only if her words and actions give you reason to have concern for.
Otherwise, hopefully her friends are cool, and you just inherited a bunch of guyfriends.
A lot of girls have guy friends, as they don't always like dealing with the drama and gossip that a lot of them bring to the table when they all get together. Of course there are exceptions to every rule, but that's just my theory. I'm not the jealous type though.
llama112
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I find it amusing when females say they don't like other females because they gossip too much / cause too much drama. If every other girl is "causing the drama", then I'm guessing it's not every other girl, it's you
(I'm not arguing with what you're saying, just quoting it because it reminded me of that)
Not saying that's the case for everyone... but there are TONS of females who don't gossip / cause drama. I like to avoid that stuff too, but it doesn't mean I have to avoid having female friends because of that. I have female friends and male friends... it works.
Pretty_Diamonds
Bluelight Crew
Us girls, don't really have real friends. We have frenamies!
llama112
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I don't understand this. Although I do not have a ton of friends (due to not being a very social person), I still have friends. I believe they are real friends.
Pretty_Diamonds
Bluelight Crew
Lol, it was a joke. Of course, we have real friends.
severely etarded
Bluelight Crew
If she's hot and the guys are straight, I'd worry if she's spending a lot of alone time with them. Be confident and secure and you have nothing to worry about. If she's negligent toward you and spending more 1on1 time with other guys, that could spell trouble..
Her friends should not be a problem in your relationship at all - it's a bit naive to think that your partner is going to sleep with their friends simply because they can. Jealousy like that can eat you alive and destroy relationships.
missmeyet?
Bluelighter
I find it amusing when females say they don't like other females because they gossip too much / cause too much drama. If every other girl is "causing the drama", then I'm guessing it's not every other girl, it's you
(I'm not arguing with what you're saying, just quoting it because it reminded me of that)
Not saying that's the case for everyone... but there are TONS of females who don't gossip / cause drama. I like to avoid that stuff too, but it doesn't mean I have to avoid having female friends because of that. I have female friends and male friends... it works.
Agreed! Besides , I like to think after finishing high school that issue wasn't....well.....an issue so much.
And you are definitely correct, it seems the girls who say this kind of thing..."I can't be friends with females, they are too bitchy (backstabbing, drama etc.)" Are usually the ones that are exactly that way to other females.
I get along great with most guys and girls. If they are bitchy or dicks, then I don't hang with them, simple as that. Besides, I feel I have tons of acquantances but it takes a lot for me to call someone an actual friend! True friends are few and far between (IMO).
So OP, if she is a nice person there shouldn't be any problem with her having lots of guy friends. But go with your instinct, if you are dating her and she spends more time with her 'friends' than you then might be a problem. Like someone else said, if they are a good group of guys you may have a whole bunch of new buddies to hang out with.
LilbabiC
Bluelighter
Do not be insecure it can only lead to the destruction of your relationship. I am a female and I have many guy friends and only one female friend. If my boyfriend were to become jealous over my male friends I would no longer be with him because jealous, insecure men are a big turn off for me.
coors light
Bluelighter
your just over thinking things. their just her friends and you will be much happier when you stop thinking that they are going to be any more than that.
llama112
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Woooo so glad to have someone who shares my opinion. I hear tons of females say that specifically. Common denominator much? LOL!
But exactly, if someone is drama filled, or if someone is a jerk, I don't want to be friends with them. It can be males or females. It's not because they are female and therefore they are all about the drama and they're bitchy and all that. No. Some people are like that, so I avoid them. But there are plenty of females who are like myself (not drama filled, not bitchy) who I get along with just fine...
dieseldog1
Bluelighter
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I personally wouldn't hang around that scene. No such thing as guy friends. Most guys will pretend to be her friend , waiting and wanting to get in her pants. Period . Thinking otherwise is simply naive.
anythingbutsober
Bluelighter
just because the guy(s) may feel that way doesn't mean she feels the same. i have quite a few guy friends who i'm sure wouldn't say no to me naked, but the same can be said for ANY girl. i can tell you 100% that i'd turn them down. THAT is why they are guy FRIENDS.
bottom line OP, is do you trust her enough to be in a relationship & not constantly paranoid about these other guys?
username13
Bluelighter
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Its better than a girl with no friends, or crazy girlfriends right?
Captain.Heroin
Bluelight Crew
No. Why would there be any concerns?
We live in a world with seven billion people, so the odds are, they're going to be surrounded by other people of both genders all the time. You either trust someone, or you don't.