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a hospital trip after a night of raving...but i want to rave [sober] again! help?

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peaceluvncatz

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May 26, 2013
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hi! so about two months ago, a lot of factors resulted in what my boyfriend called "the perfect storm." in a nutshell, i took .3 grams of some sort of MDXX (it definitely wasn't MDMA - i'm pretty experienced with both capsules of Molly and x pills) to have a great time at a concert. earlier that week my eating disorder sprung up back again, and i essentially stopped eating regularly for maybe 7 to 10 days before the concert because i wanted to fit into a cute outfit. :/ stupid, i know. i also hadn't exercised in a couple of months, and was EXTREMELY sedentary in the 3 or 4 months leading up to the concert.

so, i hadn't been eating a lot (mainly salads), my body wasn't conditioned, the oddly strong MDXX that i took (i have taken .5 of *supposedly* MDMA - i hadn't tested it myself, but im pretty sure - before and danced all night and i was just fine), and drinking more water than i should all contributed to me being treated for hyponatremia, hypokalemia, and dehydration at a hospital after the concert, because i ended up collapsing, throwing up, etc.

my question for you all - is there any way i can enjoy raving and concerts again? i have sworn off taking any kind of amphetamines at concerts, and never again will i take MDMA - too scary. at most, i would drop LSD, but for a while i would be going sober or drunk. i truly love the rave scene, and want to keep going to concerts and enjoying the music, but it still reminds me of that night. it triggers really bad memories, and i start to feel my heart race and feel faint and sick again.

any input on this? any way i can condition myself back into listening to EDM without feeling panicked? i try to work out and listen to EDM at the same time but after about 5 or 10 minutes i feel panicked that i would be putting my body at risk again...help!

**EDIT**

"at most, i would drop LSD, but for a while i would be going sober or drunk."
just to be clear, i meant that eventually if or when i do get back to raving i might take LSD when i'm sure of myself again and comfortable with both my mental and physical health! not to get back into it ASAP :)
 
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Just take some time away to recover mentally and physically. I think you could probably get back on that horse in the future. Just take better care of yourself.
Good luck
 
Don't do .5. Heck even .3 is a lot for me. Do 01.-0.15g or so and you will have a wonderful time. The last time I tripped my girlfriend and I did 0.25g each, and that was super intense. The hangover was kinda rough.
 
my question for you all - is there any way i can enjoy raving and concerts again? i have sworn off taking any kind of amphetamines at concerts, and never again will i take MDMA - too scary. at most, i would drop LSD, but for a while i would be going sober or drunk. i truly love the rave scene, and want to keep going to concerts and enjoying the music, but it still reminds me of that night. it triggers really bad memories, and i start to feel my heart race and feel faint and sick again.
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I think you will with time. Just take a long break before you start opening that chapter again.

Like with all anxiety based issues you have to face them head on so I suspect the first rave might seem a bit daunting but after a while you will likely get back into it.

Not sure if I would choose LSD however to get back into things. I dont think that would help with anxiety at all. also the issue with LSD is the trip duration if you arrived at a show and didnt like it the LSD certainly wouldnt fade in any way might just make the experience more intense. Personally out of the two I always felt less anxious on MDMA but I guess we are all different.

I would try and get back into it at first without the drugs and reintroduce the drugs over time as you felt more comfortable. You may even find you dont need them anymore. I guess it will be a case of suck it and see.
 
Where's the PLUR my friend? Of course you can enjoy EDM sober...I do ever day...just like everyone said. Take a break. Get your mental health back on cue, dose accordingly, and o yea test your gear.
 
oh yeah I absolutely am not touching any substances other than Mary Jane and alcohol for a long while! I meant more in the sense that when I AM ready and relaxed, whenever that may be, I would try acid at a rave. great advice thank you so much!
 
also Mazzab you are absolutely right. I think I was at a point in my life where I was getting too caught up with drugs to really appreciate the experience and the people for what it was on its own. I'm trying to find the plur within me again, i know its there. thank you!
 
I just find it interesting that you would "swear off" X but instead choose two other far more dangerous drugs, alcohol and/or LSD.

Then again, my Xperience is from many years ago, the late 80s & early 90s when X didn't seem to have the stigma attached to it that it has at least in this group. I never once had any medical/emotional/mental/physical weirdness from taking X. I'm going to get back into it, but the drug seems to have changed in these modern times. When I was taking it it had just recently been criminalized and everything we found & I took was very pure.
 
.3 of pure mdma at once is a very high dose and it was dumb to take that much of a new batch of stuff, sure youve taken .5g before but you don't know if that was 100% pure thus weaker than pure material.
 
LucidSDreamr said:
oh and good job on getting sent to the hospital on mdma and further contributing to the stereotype that mdma is unsafe and EDM concertgoers are a bunch of raving drugees
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so what about the scores of drunk fkrs that arrive at each and every ER every weekend. I dont think its good HR for anyone to criticise someone for going to hospital
 
bunnymunro said:
so what about the scores of drunk fkrs that arrive at each and every ER every weekend. I dont think its good HR for anyone to criticise someone for going to hospital
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Yup. More people end up in the ER from Tylenol od than MDMA, alcohol is FAR more dangerous than the majority of illicit drugs available and the long term effects of alcohol abuse are just as catastrophic if not more so than said drugs. I've started to develop fatty liver from alcohol use (not even really alcoholism either, just drinking wine during the week and heavily on weekends) - its bad. I'm cutting back and finding that I actually enjoy sobriety quite a bit.

I went out drinking for the first time in weeks, had three cocktails and today I am hungover and a little down/depressed.

I feel AWESOME the day after using MDMA responsibly, like, fresh, recharged, ready to kick some day-ass, etc.

Point being, don't be a fucking dick, clearly this person doesn't need your criticism and she is learning from the experience (I mean, she IS seeking advice on a harm reduction forum after all)

To the OP, anxiety is conditioned. If you can go and have another glowing experience at a rave you might fix your issue. Be easy on yourself. Also, take up a habit like gloving or poi, you can go to a rave sober and help all the rollers get the most out of their trip, sober gloves are the best AND you'll feel good sharing the drug experience vicariously through others. Definitely don't take LSD until your anxiety has cleared, I could see the trip taking a sinister direction when used in an anxiety provoking situation
 
Yup. More people end up in the ER from Tylenol od than MDMA, alcohol is FAR more dangerous than the majority of illicit drugs available and the long term effects of alcohol abuse are just as catastrophic if not more so than said drugs. I've started to develop fatty liver from alcohol use (not even really alcoholism either, just drinking wine during the week and heavily on weekends) - its bad. I'm cutting back and finding that I actually enjoy sobriety quite a bit.

I went out drinking for the first time in weeks, had three cocktails and today I am hungover and a little down/depressed.

I feel AWESOME the day after using MDMA responsibly, like, fresh, recharged, ready to kick some day-ass, etc.
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Not surprising really considering the Millions of users of paracetemol vs the small number of MDMA users.

"Alcohol is far more dangerous than the majority of Illicit drugs used." This is like comparing chalk with cheese.

Quoting statistics in this context in an attempt to promote the safety of MDMA is meaningless.
 
peaceluvncatz said:
...i truly love the rave scene, and want to keep going to concerts and enjoying the music, but it still reminds me of that night. it triggers really bad memories, and i start to feel my heart race and feel faint and sick again.
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I think that with time, (your) painful, traumatic memories can and will heal - assuming you play your cards right.

Case in point - I used to be a huge raver myself, and an enormous, completely reckless etard who preferred to "live in the moment" and deal with the future consequences when they presented themselves (in that respect - I was a huge idiot who nearly got himself killed).

In between 2003-2005, there was a period of about 18 months where I was rolling every weekend (or every other weekend). I'd pop any pill or capsule I'd get my hands on, and looking back I was really lucky that I didn't croak when considering the amount of bunk, adulterated crap that was being passed off as "ecstasy" at the time where I resided.

Anyways, as they say: What goes up, must come down - and it all came crashing down for me one day when chance finally dealt me a really bad, really nasty pill.

If you wish to read the details of what happened to me on June 7th, 2005, and the following 19 months it took me to recover, check out this post (#23) - http://www.bluelight.ru/vb/threads/673523-Am-I-fucked-forever

After my recovery from what I feared was a slow, painful death, I too, really missed raving because I hadn't gone ever since what had happened to me. I was scared shitless that the next time I'd end up dead.

One of the things which amplified this fear of dying from using ecstasy; in my case turned out to be vivid flashbacks I'd experience if the conditions were right.

For example, I'd be out jogging and listening to some trance on my iPod (I was a huge fan of trance and other faster 140+ bpm beats long before I began experimenting with mdma). Then this one song would start playing which was also playing the day I took the dirty pill. Almost immediately, I'd experience a vivid flashback of the events of June 7th, 2005, and it was more than enough to completely fuck up my day.

Well, eventually, I was able to desensitize (for lack of a better word) my mind by forcing myself to repeatedly listen to that track again and again in an effort to try to train, to compel my mind to accept the fact that what happened was in the past and it won't come back to hurt me somehow. This was quite difficult at first, but with repeated playbacks it became trivial. In fact, I'm actually listening to that same song right now while typing this and I feel fine (actually, I've now heard this track so many times that I'm bored to death whenever it comes on). Isn't it crazy how serious, how potent of an effect the mind can have on the rest of the body?

Fast forward to July 19th, 2007 - I went raving again for the first time since the 2005 ER trip, and I'm happy to note that I rolled, and I had a great time! Initially, when I popped my first pill (even though it was tested beforehand), the fear, the anxiety, the damn flashback came back more vividly than ever. It was enough for me to make the decision to take some Xanax (not much - 0.5mg) - I'm glad I decided to bring some along just in case. Then I started getting (the familiar) butterflies in my stomach, and I began yawning excessively. Before I knew it, I was back on cloud 9. You should have seen the ridiculous smile on my face. From that point on, everything went smoothly, and I had a GREAT time.

Nowadays, I still roll, but only on occasion. And I always, always test the product with a full range/reagent testing kit. Admittedly, the kit is not exactly cheap. However, there will always be another party or rave, and health & safety should always be first on a raver's list of priorities.

I'm happy to state that I haven't had another bad trip since. That being said, I'm not recommending you start using ecstasy again. That's your decision, and yours alone.

In any case - Keep that chin up. I know it ain't easy, but whatever residual effects you may be feeling, you can get through them. Keep fighting, don't give up, and know that you are not alone, and that we're not here to judge you for your decisions regarding drugs. If you're in distress, and you need someone to talk to, feel free to PM me. Hang in there! :)

P.S. - Support from close friends and family during this difficult time - IME - can be especially beneficial. Hopefully you will receive just that.
 
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your mdma was cut to shit methylone or mdai or some or butylone because .5 of high quality mdma whitout a tolerance would have floored you so bad you wouldnt have danced at all that night lol. Invest in a test kit, MOLLY these days contains everything but mdma in most cases. I dont mean to sound like an ahole but taking .3 of untested mdma which probably isnt mdma isnt very harm reducting and smart.
 
futura2012 said:
Not surprising really considering the Millions of users of paracetemol vs the small number of MDMA users.

"Alcohol is far more dangerous than the majority of Illicit drugs used." This is like comparing chalk with cheese.

Quoting statistics in this context in an attempt to promote the safety of MDMA is meaningless.
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While your point is valid, researchers have worked out the admittance to A & E, in relation to the approximate amount of users, and MDMA is still a far better % than alcohol.

Not that statistics provide a good insight into the safety of drugs anyway.
 
While your point is valid, researchers have worked out the admittance to A & E, in relation to the approximate amount of users, and MDMA is still a far better % than alcohol.

Not that statistics provide a good insight into the safety of drugs anyway.
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Interesting idea. Do you have any sources to support this claim?
 
When you look at things like percentages of users who encounter problems (which I haven't so this is a noble claim) I'd bet that there are more ODs by percentage of users (ODs vs total) with APAP than MDMA. Bet.

Also, alcohol is widely known to be more dangerous than many illicit substances. I could go get the chart everyone knows that puts alcohol right around the toxicity scale of benzos. With things like cocaine, marijuana(obv), MDMA, LSD, I believe meth, and more Below alcohol. Heroin was "above" it

I get what you're saying, but we all know that when used appropriately MDMA is relatively harmless

Edit* just found one statistic stating deaths in 2001 from MDMA were about 2 in 100k users, whereas alcohol was 50 in 100k users. (In the US, 2001)

We all know alcohol is way worse for you than many illicit drugs, I think although cocaine is touted as less dangerous, since it works by nature very similar to alcohol (abusers of both substances frequently want more and more after injesting any amount) TO ME it's more dangerous because I've ended up in the ER (albeit just fine) twice from cocaine and zero times from booze. The closest to death I've ever been FROM DRUGS was probably when I mixed Valium, soma, Percocet, marijuana, alcohol, and had to fight to stay alive. I had absolutely zero tolerance to benzos, opiates, and whatever class muscle relaxant soma is at that time.

I've also done some pretty dumb shit when I've taken MDMA and excessive alcohol together, but when I look at all the drugs ive done, i can say fron personal experience MDMA by itself is relatively safe and when used appropriately is also practically HARMLESS.

This is my opinion.
 
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