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Slut.

Excellent news, purpleprincess!

Last suggestion would be an internet search for sex-positive(insert your city name here), those groups have excellent info and very knowledgeable folks for the most part!

To hell with slut-shaming, especially due to the fact that most whom are labeled 'sluts,' aren't anything of the sort.

I'm a self-proclaimed slut, but well, I see that as a distinction <3

Best of luck to you!
 
Can always read up and not attend meetings/gatherings, I agree some of them can be rather...ummm....

Hands-on! lol
 
purpleprincess said:
It's a word that I've come to embrace and hate simultaneously. I've been deemed a slut for most of my post pubescent life, especially as a teenager because my female cousins decided to measure their vaginas against mine. I was a virgin, but guys would repeatedly approach me with rumors they heard, hoping for a good time. When I finally started having sex, I was pretty much terrified of racking up too many partners. Scarred from my teenage years, I played it safe for a while. It wasn't until four years ago that I was able to face how sexually depraved I am and even then, it didn't amount to much. I did a lot of my dirt in the dark and felt really ashamed shortly after. I've been celibate for a little over two and a half years now in fear of my own sexuality. My desire is not for multiple partners(not right now, at least), just one partner that I can do the most ungodly things with. I met a guy, a really sweet guy, but he's depressed and doesn't want anything more than sex. I just can't do that to myself. I'm already damaged and I don't want to hurt myself anymore. I don't even know what I'm asking. I just want to love myself and not feel like I'm dirty for wanting to have an insane amount of kinky sex. Can anyone relate? I'd appreciate any insight I can get.
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Honestly, I would not try to live my life according to what other people think. I never really have, and honestly it really isnt worth it. If you want to have sex do it. If you do not, do not. But it really is not as big of a deal as you make it.
 
Hey hey hey now! Let's try not to drift too far off topic and target.

:D
 
Stripes314 said:
Honestly, I would not try to live my life according to what other people think. I never really have, and honestly it really isnt worth it. If you want to have sex do it. If you do not, do not. But it really is not as big of a deal as you make it.
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this.

another thing that stood out to me in the OP was; "I just want to love myself and not feel like I'm dirty for wanting to have an insane amount of kinky sex". dont. grown adults with healthy sex drives also enjoy to have frequent sex lives and dont label themselves negatively for doing so; why should you?

...kytnism...:|
 
^Take it to PM guys ;)

purpleprincess said:
A sincere thank you to everyone that responded to my thread. I feel a lot better about this than when I first posted. I know that it's going to take a lot more to build my confidence, but I'm glad that I could finally talk about this after so long. I think I'm going to try and move away from labeling myself as "slut". Not because I think the word is inherently bad, but because of all the negative baggage I've attached to it over the years. Instead of a therapist, I've decided to seek out group therapy for other young women with similar issues. I'm saying goodbye to this oath of celibacy as well, but no rush since I want to find an awesome guy. Well, thanks again. ;)
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Glad to hear it, hope the therapy goes well!
 
OP, I'm just curious; since we're anonymous, would you tell us more about those "shameful" desires you're having? I'm asking because - I'm also female - and I've always had a high sex drive, enjoyed being promiscuous and was (without knowing the term for it back then) interested in BDSM. I actually grew up able to fully enjoy my sexuality - my group of friends when we were teenagers were wonderfully open to exploring and no one got called names for it. But later on I was in a relationship with a guy who didn't even want to try most of the fetish things I'm interested in, wouldn't have domination, pain or control during sex, didn't want to try anal (I mean, wft?) and made me feel bad about even having those desires in the first place. It took my self-esteem a while to recover, so I know what a dark and lonely place it can be... but honestly. Whatever is your fetish/kink, whatever dirty fantasies go through your mind, there are thousands - perhaps even millions - with similar desires. There are websites and communities dedicated to celebrating and discussing every unusual sexual practice you can dream of. There are sex advice columnists and sex-positive activists like Dan Savage (http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/SavageLove), I recommend you listen to his podcast... name your fantasies and connect with others who can share them. Don't date someone who can't go there with you. You'll be so much happier when you can express your sexuality freely and without shame. Our bodies are there to be enjoyed!
 
lola said:
OP, I'm just curious; since we're anonymous, would you tell us more about those "shameful" desires you're having? I'm asking because - I'm also female - and I've always had a high sex drive, enjoyed being promiscuous and was (without knowing the term for it back then) interested in BDSM. I actually grew up able to fully enjoy my sexuality - my group of friends when we were teenagers were wonderfully open to exploring and no one got called names for it. But later on I was in a relationship with a guy who didn't even want to try most of the fetish things I'm interested in, wouldn't have domination, pain or control during sex, didn't want to try anal (I mean, wft?) and made me feel bad about even having those desires in the first place. It took my self-esteem a while to recover, so I know what a dark and lonely place it can be... but honestly. Whatever is your fetish/kink, whatever dirty fantasies go through your mind, there are thousands - perhaps even millions - with similar desires. There are websites and communities dedicated to celebrating and discussing every unusual sexual practice you can dream of. There are sex advice columnists and sex-positive activists like Dan Savage (http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/SavageLove), I recommend you listen to his podcast... name your fantasies and connect with others who can share them. Don't date someone who can't go there with you. You'll be so much happier when you can express your sexuality freely and without shame. Our bodies are there to be enjoyed!
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Many of the things I'm interested in falls into the BDSM range, but the things I'm most ashamed of are just downright filthy sexual acts. I crave anal, face fuckings, being slapped around, and called names. I would also love to be some guy's little cum slut(for lack of a better word), but the problem is finding a guy who's willing to do this stuff while still respecting me or even wanting to be with me.
 
i'm pretty depraved too, and also kind of a whore (although 'slut' is probably more accurate, but people around here to tend to use the word 'whore' more). i've had similar feelings to what you described in the past, but now i've come to embrace my sexuality and all the disgusting, depraved, and kinky things that turn me on and drive me wild. i understand why you wouldn't want to continue with a guy who wants only sex in order to protect yourself, but i can't relate. i'm kind of a messed up person, and being used is also a turn on, and i've never been much into the whole relationship-thing. everyone though, and i mean everyone.. every single person on this earth, is weird and different, and we ALL have our own personal kinks, preferences and turn-ons. what makes people like you and i different, however, is that we were brave enough to explore these, and probably learn a lot more about ourselves in the process. that being said, you have nothing to be ashamed about. you'd be surprised at how many people are total perverts and freaks behind closed doors, and while you don't have to flaunt it, you should own it, and accept it, and never let anyone (including yourself!) make you feel ashamed for such completely natural feelings.
 
purpleprincess said:
Many of the things I'm interested in falls into the BDSM range, but the things I'm most ashamed of are just downright filthy sexual acts. I crave anal, face fuckings, being slapped around, and called names. I would also love to be some guy's little cum slut(for lack of a better word), but the problem is finding a guy who's willing to do this stuff while still respecting me or even wanting to be with me.
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everything you just described seems so completely natural and amazing to me. not every girl enjoys anal, but a LOT of girls i've talked to and been with also enjoy being slapped around, called names, talked down to, and generally dominated by their partner. to be someone that isn't in touch enough with their own sexuality and desires to not only deprive themselves and their partner, but to look DOWN on their partner for their desires.. now THAT is something to be ashamed about!
 
hairohwin, I'm actually still trying to figure out if what I want is a romantic relationship or just a sexual relationship with someone I can trust! It's all so confusing to me because I find myself wanting to be used(but on my terms) and I'm not sure if it's a low self esteem thing or if it's just my nature. By the way, I'm not saying that you or anyone like that suffer from low self esteem, it's just that I have to second guess everything because I've been shaming myself so much in the past. I'd hate to go out and find someone to have awesome sex with and then feel guilty afterwards. For now I've just decided to stick with wanting a romantic relationship because it seems like it would be better for my psyche.
 
That sort of steamed me up, hairohwin. I wish I had someone to do that to me right now. Gonna have to find a guy!

The hottest sex I ever had I can only describe as 'mutual rape.'
 
hmm... i've never considered if i'm the way that i am from low self-esteem, or, if its like you said, and just my nature. i think i do have low self-esteem in a lot of ways, possibly lending to my promiscuity, but it doesn't make me feel ashamed. i actually really enjoy exploring and trying new things with new people. a steady fuck-buddy can be almost as fulfilling as an actual relationship (to me, anyways; i'm not into relationships, but that doesn't mean i haven't had them!), and can provide you with someone to safely explore with and confide in, without the added pressures that a relationship can bring, if you don't feel mentally stable enough or in the right place for that kind of commitment at the moment.

and morph, its not just the boys that can do that to you! >;P
 
Well, right, but I'm gay. I've had encounters with girls before, and they didn't work out too well.

So yes, rough sex! Fuck yes, and screw being called a slut by anyone else. Embrace that inner slut, I say!! <3
 
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