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Panic Attacks

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Alaska457

Bluelighter
Joined
May 6, 2013
Messages
84
I rolled for 3-4 consecutive days and didn't feel any come down until I woke up from the last dose. I had a pretty harsh come down that lasted a couple days and kind of lessened in intensity. Right now I feel semi-okay , but I still have ringing in one of my ears and slight distortion in my eye-sight. I've been able to fall asleep twice since my come down, both for about 5-6 hours. Both times, I've woken up feeling okay, then within an hour or two I get this huge panic attack. Like I can't sit still or even be in the house, I have to go on a walk for a long time or be moving around. This has happened two consecutive days in a row, and when I come down from the panic attack I feel relaxed, but when I fall asleep and wake up, I get another panic attack. These are like 4-5 hour panic attacks. I'm wondering if this has something to do with my low serotonin levels, and if it will eventually go away when my levels get back to normal. Before I rolled, I had anxiety and OCD, but I never got this hopeless manic feeling before, where I can't even sit still or watch TV.
 
If MDMA caused your panic attacks, they will get better with time. Hopefully you've learned your lesson about rolling on consecutive days.
 
Clocktower said:
If MDMA caused your panic attacks, they will get better with time. Hopefully you've learned your lesson about rolling on consecutive days.
Click to expand...

Yeah I have. The only problem is before I had this problem where I can't relax in a conversation and it's just making it worse, or is it making it better? Maybe it has given me the chance to clear my thoughts and take a jab at it. I will go on this massive panic attack for 4-5 hours and then just be chilled out for the rest of the night, hopefully it goes away soon like you said :/


Edit: Is there an average length these things last? I've been having a ringing in my ears for about 3 days now as well, and I heard that can be linked to low serotonine levels. I'm almost positive I have serotonine syndrome.
 
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man if you are feeling the side effects you should exercise hard in order to clean your body and let your brain heals it self

Start running now! you will defeat those panic attacks for sure, don't give up! - also eat lots of fruits and vegetables avoiding junk food for at least 15 days
you will be Ok by then

cheers!!
 
Oh man I've had these for the past 5 weeks now. Its been so rough. I rolled 2 nights in a row 2 weekends in a row. On some really strong molly. I saw a doc and gave me a script for xanax. I was honest with him of what I did. Its all patience man. Its so hard to deal with to be honest. But thank goodness for the xanax. I feel 90% normal after it kicks in. I'll feel like my life is ending sometimes. But you just have to stay strong and not let it defeat you. Running I would highly suggest. I've been jogging 2 miles each morning since this started. Its hard to get motivated in the morning. But you just have to make it something you must do. Stay strong my friend. I feel your pain.
 
I just don't understand why this is all happening to me. My ankle has been hurting for the past 2 years and now it's worked up to my knee and my hip, making it impossible for me to even do daily running/training because of how much it hurts. I'm only 17, I don't want to live like this. All my hobbies I can't do anymore. Fuck, I can't even sit still without my ankle hurting. The pain has just made me depressed and with tons of anxiety, and I just isolated from all my friends because I just felt I couldn't keep up anymore. This roll has just made all that 100x worse, I just don't know why this has to happen to me. It's like everything that can go wrong has gone wrong. The added on panic attacks, anxiety, and depersonalization is way to much. I can't enjoy anything, not even sitting by myself doing something I use to love doing. I was going to try to get through this whole thing without any kind of medications, but I don't think I can take much more.

It's almost like something is just set-up to ruin my life. First I hurt severely hurt my ankle from a 3 story fall, then I develop anxiety and depression and lose almost all my friends, then I isolate and lose the rest of my friends, then I lose contact with most family members, I end up in a small town where there's nothing to do and I couldn't go to school because of my anxiety, so I am inside a small house almost 24/7 for a year now, making everything 100x worse. Now right when summer is about to come and I'm leaving, this happens, and now I'm truly hopeless. Life has truly fucked me.

For some reason my roll also made me feel like my ankle was getting better, and I got really happy and was actually semi-okay. I ran a little bit because of my panic attack the next day and then the following day my ankle just hurt really bad again. This is so fucking ridiculous, because I was always nice to everyone and was genuine good person, and I've been like that my whole life. I just don't understand it.
 
Life can be an absolute, total, outright bitch. And for some reason, when it rains it often pours. But this does NOT mean that things cannot take a turn for the better. Hang in there, and remember that YOU are in control. You can do this, and you will! You're still the nice and genuine good person, that hasn't changed.
 
Alaska457 said:
I just don't understand why this is all happening to me. My ankle has been hurting for the past 2 years and now it's worked up to my knee and my hip, making it impossible for me to even do daily running/training because of how much it hurts. I'm only 17, I don't want to live like this. All my hobbies I can't do anymore. Fuck, I can't even sit still without my ankle hurting. The pain has just made me depressed and with tons of anxiety, and I just isolated from all my friends because I just felt I couldn't keep up anymore. This roll has just made all that 100x worse, I just don't know why this has to happen to me. It's like everything that can go wrong has gone wrong. The added on panic attacks, anxiety, and depersonalization is way to much. I can't enjoy anything, not even sitting by myself doing something I use to love doing. I was going to try to get through this whole thing without any kind of medications, but I don't think I can take much more.

It's almost like something is just set-up to ruin my life. First I hurt severely hurt my ankle from a 3 story fall, then I develop anxiety and depression and lose almost all my friends, then I isolate and lose the rest of my friends, then I lose contact with most family members, I end up in a small town where there's nothing to do and I couldn't go to school because of my anxiety, so I am inside a small house almost 24/7 for a year now, making everything 100x worse. Now right when summer is about to come and I'm leaving, this happens, and now I'm truly hopeless. Life has truly fucked me.

For some reason my roll also made me feel like my ankle was getting better, and I got really happy and was actually semi-okay. I ran a little bit because of my panic attack the next day and then the following day my ankle just hurt really bad again. This is so fucking ridiculous, because I was always nice to everyone and was genuine good person, and I've been like that my whole life. I just don't understand it.
Click to expand...

Okay dude, take a deep breath! If I recall correctly, it has only been a few days since your ordeal began

Just reading your post brings me back to the uncontrollably anxious, frantic few days/ weeks following the onset of my long term comedown. As I remember, it was IMPOSSIBLE for me to feel any joy at all. I cried myself to sleep for almost an entire month, worried that I would have to live the rest of my life as a miserable vegetable with zero ability to communicate/ socialise. But then surely enough... it got better.

You are probably going to be like this for a little while longer as the chemicals in your brain try to reset. While this is happening, you will find it very difficult to be happy and can slip into panic mode at any moment. Just accept it as a part of this initial phase of recovery. I can guarantee you, that in 3-4 months, even if you are still not 100%, you'll be able socialise and be normal - I know it's hard to imagine right now and seems an eternity away, but it's not, be patient! The part you are going through now is the worse part, maybe even the worst thing you'll ever go through, but it only gets better from this point onwards.

Some things you can do to help you cope with this initial phase of recovery:
- Learn some meditation or breathing techniques to help you deal with oncoming anxiety attacks or general anxiety. These are highly effective tools, which you can begin to use right away.
- Do not eat or drink ANY caffeinated drinks or snacks. Stay away from all simple carbs - sugary stuff will increase chances of an anxiety attack by ten fold, i swear.
- Counselling - if there's no one you can talk to about your ordeal, this could be extremely helpful
- Don't stop exercising - Work around your problem. At the start of my comedown I was abroad with no exercise equipment so I just worked on banging out a set number of push ups each day. Work at increase that number over time. Also, you could find a pull up bar and do something similar. Joining a gym would be ideal. Weight training increases brain-derived neurotrophic factor levels in the brain, which is thought to increase neurogenesis. Do not neglect this important aspect of your recovery.
- Stay hydrated - drink plenty of water

Good luck!
 
dpd_mnk92 said:
Okay dude, take a deep breath! If I recall correctly, it has only been a few days since your ordeal began

Just reading your post brings me back to the uncontrollably anxious, frantic few days/ weeks following the onset of my long term comedown. As I remember, it was IMPOSSIBLE for me to feel any joy at all. I cried myself to sleep for almost an entire month, worried that I would have to live the rest of my life as a miserable vegetable with zero ability to communicate/ socialise. But then surely enough... it got better.

You are probably going to be like this for a little while longer as the chemicals in your brain try to reset. While this is happening, you will find it very difficult to be happy and can slip into panic mode at any moment. Just accept it as a part of this initial phase of recovery. I can guarantee you, that in 3-4 months, even if you are still not 100%, you'll be able socialise and be normal - I know it's hard to imagine right now and seems an eternity away, but it's not, be patient! The part you are going through now is the worse part, maybe even the worst thing you'll ever go through, but it only gets better from this point onwards.

Some things you can do to help you cope with this initial phase of recovery:
- Learn some meditation or breathing techniques to help you deal with oncoming anxiety attacks or general anxiety. These are highly effective tools, which you can begin to use right away.
- Do not eat or drink ANY caffeinated drinks or snacks. Stay away from all simple carbs - sugary stuff will increase chances of an anxiety attack by ten fold, i swear.
- Counselling - if there's no one you can talk to about your ordeal, this could be extremely helpful
- Don't stop exercising - Work around your problem. At the start of my comedown I was abroad with no exercise equipment so I just worked on banging out a set number of push ups each day. Work at increase that number over time. Also, you could find a pull up bar and do something similar. Joining a gym would be ideal. Weight training increases brain-derived neurotrophic factor levels in the brain, which is thought to increase neurogenesis. Do not neglect this important aspect of your recovery.
- Stay hydrated - drink plenty of water

Good luck!
Click to expand...

Yeah I've been trying to eat and drink as much vitamins and healthy food as I can. When I go to sleep, I can't stay asleep for some reason. I'll wake up like 1-2 hours after I fall asleep, and not know why. I can go back to sleep sometimes, but then it happens again and I wake up around the same time, a couple hours after. So right now I've fell asleep and woke up around 2-3 times and it's 1AM and I can't get back to sleep. What should I do for this?
 
pomz623 said:
Oh man I've had these for the past 5 weeks now. Its been so rough. I rolled 2 nights in a row 2 weekends in a row. On some really strong molly. I saw a doc and gave me a script for xanax. I was honest with him of what I did. Its all patience man. Its so hard to deal with to be honest. But thank goodness for the xanax. I feel 90% normal after it kicks in. I'll feel like my life is ending sometimes. But you just have to stay strong and not let it defeat you. Running I would highly suggest. I've been jogging 2 miles each morning since this started. Its hard to get motivated in the morning. But you just have to make it something you must do. Stay strong my friend. I feel your pain.
Click to expand...

man, what an awesome doc. "I did some MDMA", "here you go, some xanax" :p

I rolled for 3-4 consecutive days and didn't feel any come down until I woke up from the last dose. I had a pretty harsh come down that lasted a couple days and kind of lessened in intensity. Right now I feel semi-okay , but I still have ringing in one of my ears and slight distortion in my eye-sight. I've been able to fall asleep twice since my come down, both for about 5-6 hours. Both times, I've woken up feeling okay, then within an hour or two I get this huge panic attack. Like I can't sit still or even be in the house, I have to go on a walk for a long time or be moving around. This has happened two consecutive days in a row, and when I come down from the panic attack I feel relaxed, but when I fall asleep and wake up, I get another panic attack. These are like 4-5 hour panic attacks. I'm wondering if this has something to do with my low serotonin levels, and if it will eventually go away when my levels get back to normal. Before I rolled, I had anxiety and OCD, but I never got this hopeless manic feeling before, where I can't even sit still or watch TV.
Click to expand...
You'll be ok. some valium or xanax would probably do wonders. exercise, diet, eat healthy.

The tinnitus (ear ringing) is likely caused by elevated blood pressure. This will go away if you fix your diet start eating more fish and veggies, less greasy junk food, and go out for a jog.
 
severely etarded said:
You'll be ok. some valium or xanax would probably do wonders. exercise, diet, eat healthy.

The tinnitus (ear ringing) is likely caused by elevated blood pressure. This will go away if you fix your diet start eating more fish and veggies, less greasy junk food, and go out for a jog.
Click to expand...

Yeah that would make sense because I had so much pressure in my head a few days after, and a huge headache. Then when it started to go down my left ear eventually stopped ringing, so it's only my right now.
 
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Look kid dont do what you cant handle simple you clearly cannot handle even the simplest of drugs
 
^ fuck you troll either say something supportive or get off bluelight. This is like the third time I've seen you copy and paste that. You're either a kid yourself or a really immature old fart. Either way mods please delete this when you get to it I just wanted to be supportive of OP
 
Thanks severely etarded. I'm just looking for some help and support right now, it just sucks that there wasn't more readily available info on the internet about mdma re-dosing etc, but I guess that's my fault for not looking further into it.

I will have a bad panic attack or have extreme anxiety for 5 or 6 hours to half a day, then I will feel relaxed and okay, but still not "back to normal" because I still feel the depression and tiredness (probably lack of sleep), and also the feeling in my head. The worst part is the mood changes, because I don't know if I triggered some kind of disorder or it's just the roller-coaster of a come down I'm on. It's been less than a week so I am going to give it another 2 weeks, and if nothing changes by then I will probably find a doctor.
 
Alaska457 said:
Before I rolled, I had anxiety and OCD, but I never got this hopeless manic feeling before, where I can't even sit still or watch TV.
Click to expand...
I have severe anxiety disorders, and I'm Depressive Bi-Polar and those symptoms did not show up until after i had used drugs frequently, a lot were drugs that altered serotonin levels. My belief is some people are predisposed to these disorders and the continuous use of the drugs bring it out, Or Clocktower could be right and you should slow down and let your body heal itself for a couple weeks.
 
Had a long message typed out and the internet cut out and I didn't notice before I clicked reply.

But yeah, I definitely agree with you about the predisposed illness part. I smoked weed for 2-3 years heavily, I just quit when I figured out it was making everything worse, so about a year ago. I am 17 now, so when I started I was in 7th grade but it was more just to fit in then anything, by the end of the year I was smoking regularly on weekends. 8th grade is when I got into heavy usage, like 5-6 bowls a day between 2 to 4 people for 4 months straight. I moved around a lot and travel back during summer to where I originally lived before we moved states, because most of our family and some of my really old good friends live there. So between where I got into heavy usage, and going back and forth there and visiting old places, I was still smoking a lot but just whenever I could get ahold of it. My freshman year was when it all happened, I was smoking hardcore and I didn't care about anything because I thought I was invincible. I would smoked like a gram to an eighth every other day and then go into practice and bear everyone, and drink tons of water and stuff so when I got drug tested I always passed (actually happened twice, and I passed both). For me I was living the perfect life.


When I look back on it, the time I got into smoking a lot, and the time this happened, it was actually not much over a year, I thought it was WAY longer. Anyway, I got caught with a pipe at school got grounded etc., and still thinking I could do anything, after I couldn't stand being alone any longer I snuck out one night. It was dewey and slippery and I ended up falling off a 3 story roof and one ankle taking the impact. Still everything was okay, but then one night I just got this thought stuck in my head while high, and it never went away. I'm guessing the fall and the weed just made me extra sensitive and then it triggered that. It led to bad anxiety, then I isolated from friends, lost all contact with anyone, etc. I never let my ankle heal right too because I still had that train of thought where I thought I was invincible and it would just heal. Now I'm paying the price for everything I did, basically fucked up my life within a 2 year time frame. Now I have a horrible ankle that I don't know if I will ever be able to do anything without it hurting again, and all these mental problems. I can definitely agree with you about the predisposed illnesses, and everything else you said.


It's not worth it, I'm probably going to quit drugs all together after this. Maybe drink every once in awhile. I could of had a pretty good life and just ruined it, now I have to scrape together what I can of the ruins :/
 
Alaska457 said:
Yeah I've been trying to eat and drink as much vitamins and healthy food as I can. When I go to sleep, I can't stay asleep for some reason. I'll wake up like 1-2 hours after I fall asleep, and not know why. I can go back to sleep sometimes, but then it happens again and I wake up around the same time, a couple hours after. So right now I've fell asleep and woke up around 2-3 times and it's 1AM and I can't get back to sleep. What should I do for this?
Click to expand...

MDMA abuse wreaks havoc on ones sleeping patterns. This is something I am still struggling with, but like all my other symptoms, it has gotten a lot better.

In my opinion, you should give melatonin a shot. It is incredibly safe and works very, very well for some people. I wouldn't use it for more than 2 months at a time, but during the early stages of your recovery it could be very beneficial. Getting good sleep right now is as important as anything, and something like melatonin should enable you to do that. As well as being very safe (a lethal dose doesn't exist - much like weed), it is a powerful antioxidant, which can only help as well. Melatonin is a hormone produced by the pineal gland - it helps you fall asleep and helps can be very useful for resetting/ regulating ones sleeping patterns. As long as you don't use it for than 1-2 months at a time, it won't subdue the pineal gland in any way.

Btw, your life is far from over. Yes, it feels like you've ruined everything right now while your brain has been drained of all its happy chemicals, but this is temporary. Everyone bounces back. Some people don't make a full recovery, but these guys are generally the ones who have abused hard for years on end, and even they tend to come close to a full recovery with enough time. I can really get a sense of the anxiety you are experiencing from the tone of your msgs, and understand just how bad it is, cause i was there not that long ago. I'm still not 100%, but 4 months later I've gotten further than I'd ever imagined I would during those first few weeks of hell.

Hang in there! It gets so much better, believe me.
 
^ heh, I can relate a bit. I guess all my sports injuries played a big role in my drug use. I used to be really good at football and baseball (batting and throwing 80-85 mph fast balls), probably would have made pro but I broke a back rib in football and it never healed properly, so when I threw fastballs I was REAL good for about one and a half innings tops, then it would hurt like hell every throw. Eventually dislocated my shoulder (same shoulder, right handed..) playing football, and it was never the same. Running hurt like hell. Eventually just quit playing sports altogether, but I have chronic pain I get Rx hydrocodone+Ibuprofen for, and anxiety I used to get valium too but my doc got in trouble with the board of medicine and they told him not to Rx me valium and to send me to a psychiatrist.

My medications, when taken as recommended do wonders for my pain, and let me jog a couple miles because my shoulder kills me after about a half or less, not to mention I broke my foot down the side which I had no health insurance and already on pain meds I just taped it up and after about 8 weeks it was good to go jogging (despite the same kind of pain as my rib, after about a half mile also)

Basically there's meds you can take that let you do stuff without excessive pain, and perhaps you can ride a bike like I do... The lack of bouncing on a bike has less impact on my aches and pains and does my shoulder/foot much better. Even weightlifting and also rowing, although rowing hurts my shoulder but may be better for you since your ankle. Sounds like a real nasty fall. Try 800 mg ibuprofen to start keep swelling down, if it's not quite enough you can try to see what your doctor can help you with. I'd imagine 5/350 norcos would probably help a lot until you need on 10's like me. I take 4 10/350 norcos and 2 800 mg ibuprofen every day.

At 23, I've eaten countless MDMA pills (and once a piperazine which prompted me to test my shit before taking ever again). I lost count by the time I was 17 or so, and I started at 16. I've probably smoked pounds and pounds of weed from 12-now. I really cut back a lot the last 2 years. Now I haven't even smoked in about 3 weeks, I probably smoke like an 8th a month total. My panic attacks have decreased in frequency, when I first started weaning off smoking buds my sleeping pattern turned upside down. I could only sleep 4 hours tops, so restless. I sleep a healthy 8 hours now. I have also been through cocaine and dextroamphetamine abuse.

Anyway, good luck on your recovery. I too started getting depressed, but this happened at a young age (6?) and just progressed over time. MDMA made it worse for periods after heavy abuse, but I went back to about where I should be given my progressive depression. I think a lot of things in life are depressing, like when people we thought were good friends for years stab us in the back more and more as we age. I think that's the biggest factor. Growing up I guess means learning our "friends" turn into back-stabbing bastards. And it got worse with jobs... oh god if I had to count the amount of two-faced motherfuckers I worked with that pretended to be cool and then fucked me first chance they got just to get more hours and look good for the boss. Bastards :\
 
I'm going to get some melatonin tomorrow to try to get back on a sleep schedule I guess, because I fell asleep again and woke up at around 12 at night, and here I am. The main cause of all this was really my ankle injury, because I never would of been here if it wasn't for that. I am going to a specialist this summer to get it looked at and hopefully they will say something, anything. I don't care I just want some kind of reason why it's hurting, because everyone says it's absolutely fine and nothings wrong with it! It's so frustrating. The anxiety definitely makes you less patient, because all I can think of is the pain in my knee now (not even my ankle), how long it will be until morning when everyone is up, and how long until I can get to the doctors. I might try one of those Xanax tomorrow that I have, but I don't want to be taking medication for anything the rest of my life, I just want to heal naturally and be able to actually live again.
 
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