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TDS I wanna give up, on everything

BabyGurl3171

BabyGurl3171

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Joined
May 25, 2010
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In my mind. The choices are many, the consequences
Ok so most u know I left an abusive asshole. Well, like a fool I feel for the "changed" man. I don't know what to do. I'm tryin to stop lovin him so it'll be easier to walk away. He tells me no to wear the ring he bought me, claiming he wants it to stay clean and nice. Wtf ever.
So, now I'm like wtf do I do? I do love him but I know it'll never be returned. At least not the right way.
I'm <on some things>. I know...
Everything was so ok then this. He cancelled my phone so I have no phone for 2 wks. He said he'll turn it on if we work it out.
How can I approach that he's bein emotionally and verbally abusive? Or should I even try?
Hope this makes sense. I'm pretty wasted.
I feel like CTB....
 
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My guess is that he knows you're attached to him so, and, consciously or not, is using that to hurt you. Best to get therapy while staying away from this individual.

Oy! The passion of love! I know it can be very difficult.
 
I was on the same boat years ago. Just leave never look back. Everything will work out for you. Just love yourself first. <3

Pm me if you need to talk, or need advice relating to abusive relationships.
 
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he is trying to manipulate you to keep you around, dont fall for it! I know its going to be very difficult at first but things will only get better if you get out now and start worrying about you.
 
BabyGurl3171 said:
He cancelled my phone so I have no phone for 2 wks. He said he'll turn it on if we work it out.
Click to expand...

This honestly sounds quite alarming. Why would a good man cut you from communicating with your friends and family like this?
 
You deserve so much better. No one deserves a guy who will pull stuff like that on them and be verbally and emotionally abusive.

Are you living with him? If so, I'm sure there must be a shelter in your area to help you get back in your feet and protect you from him. He's trying to control every aspect of your life- and by taking away your phone it's possible safety he's taking away.

Please get out <3
 
Good advice, pteque cos you don't want to end up with the same type of abusive man later down the road. My ex-husband actually told me this after he got into AA recovery and I never believed him. But it did happen, only worse and I didn't see it coming. It's hard I know because when you're in the midst of being manipulated by an abusive partner, you sometimes don't see it for all it really is. At least with me, I didn't want to see it and remained complacent with the little crumbs he threw me.

You can't keep giving him chances because you know already how this will end. Taking away your phone is abuse and lets him keep controlling you. By staying with him, you are allowing this abuse to perpetuate. Stop giving him the upper hand and get out. Do you have family or friends that you can stay with? Or like someone mentioned, you can go to a shelter. Stay off the drugs or alcohol because getting wasted will only exasperate the situation. Remember nobody can make you feel inferior without your permission.
 
BabyGurl, it's not worth your effort to try and work things out. He's trying to trap you and give you nowhere to go other than back to him. If you have people numbers written down (close friends/family) call them and ask them if you can stay with them for a couple of days. Get away from where you are now. Does he still stay with you or has he moved out? Even if he's moved out it sounds like the stalking and showing up at your place at all hours to see what you are up to is about to start. I'm not trying to worry you, but I want you to be careful.
 
Sorry everyone, I had no way to get on the boards.
He is livin a block away & yes he stalks me but the damn cops here won't do anything unless they catch him. Ugh, idiots.
He takes pics of me hangin on the porch with friends & sends them to me. He will also say stuff like I can hurt you without ever touchin you or leavin a mark.
Since I last wrote this I ended it completely bc my girls don't need to think this is normal. I'd beat a dude who did this to my child! So why should I go through it? That woke me up.
I had the landlord change the locks & neighbors are watchin my house & me and the girls.
Dude turned straight creepy.
I actually felt empowered tellin him it's over for good. I got a free txt program via my Wi-Fi and he will text me all day & night about how much he loves and misses not me but...his property, me! Ha! I'm no ones property.
My fiancee of 5 yrs will be home in June & I'll feel safer then. He's in prison but nothin violent. He had community service, 4 hrs left, for our drug trafficking charge and never completed it so he got 12 months.
I got an in home therapist now and a real psych (no more court psychs bc I'm off probation. Yay!!) so I can finally work on issues like co-dependency and self esteem. Gotta quit fallin for these psychos!
 
You should stop talking to him and don't answer his texts either. What he said about hurting you without leaving a mark is a threat. I would see about getting a protective order filed against him. I worry for your safety because he sounds unstable. Cops and courts should take this shit seriously. Hopefully he will leave you alone and find another victim.

Fuck him and his phone, let him cut it off. Being a single mom, you may qualify (based on your income) for all sorts of assistance. Here in Florida when you get food stamps, you can get a discount on a land line. At least a free cell phone from safelink or assurance wireless with 250 minutes and you can pay for additional time. The less control this man has, the better off you will be.
 
BabyGurl I'm so glad to hear you left and that you realize you aren't his property and don't deserve to be treated that way. Like others said, I would try to cut off communication with him. Could you change your phone number so he can't text you?
 
BabyGurl3171 said:
Sorry everyone, I had no way to get on the boards.
He is livin a block away & yes he stalks me but the damn cops here won't do anything unless they catch him. Ugh, idiots.
He takes pics of me hangin on the porch with friends & sends them to me. He will also say stuff like I can hurt you without ever touchin you or leavin a mark.
Since I last wrote this I ended it completely bc my girls don't need to think this is normal. I'd beat a dude who did this to my child! So why should I go through it? That woke me up.
I had the landlord change the locks & neighbors are watchin my house & me and the girls.
Dude turned straight creepy.
I actually felt empowered tellin him it's over for good. I got a free txt program via my Wi-Fi and he will text me all day & night about how much he loves and misses not me but...his property, me! Ha! I'm no ones property.
My fiancee of 5 yrs will be home in June & I'll feel safer then. He's in prison but nothin violent. He had community service, 4 hrs left, for our drug trafficking charge and never completed it so he got 12 months.
I got an in home therapist now and a real psych (no more court psychs bc I'm off probation. Yay!!) so I can finally work on issues like co-dependency and self esteem. Gotta quit fallin for these psychos!
Click to expand...

I'm so glad to hear you got out before anything really bad happened. I recently watched a good friend go through the exact same situation so I know what you're dealing with.

Has he sent you any threats via text or are they all verbal? If you have text proof of the things he is saying you have grounds for a protection/restraining order. If I were you I'd stop talking to him completely, don't reply to texts/answer calls. It's a good thing you'll have your fiancee back in your life soon. Having another male around that you can trust will benefit you so you won't always be fearful of what might happen to you and your girls if you were alone.
 
I have dowoaded a new free txt app so he doesn't have that number. He'll show up at my door but I tell him to leave bc I know the old trick of I just wanna talk to u. It always ends with me fallin for it. No more. I miss him, yes, but I know he'll never change. Most, not all, guys like that don't change. He was severely abused as a child and I guess he chose to be an abuser not a survivor.
My kids dad is turnin my phone on sometime this week so that's a plus. I really feel happier surprisingly. Probably bc I don't have to worry what kind of mood he'll wake up in.
I look at it this way, I have a home and extras, lcd tvs, Wiis for the kids, laptop, etc. Who needs him! I've done it alone before and I can again, minus crazy man.
Oh and his remark of hurtin me was verbal. I wish he was dumb enough to txt that.
 
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Keep yourself strong not only for yourself but your children too. You all deserve a peace of mind, and fresh beginnings. Good luck girl.
 
Thank you, everyone!
Doin pretty good. I feel amazin! He's resorted to texting my bff which was a huge mistake bc she can't stand him. That was a fun message to read lol.
My fiancee gets out June 3rd & I think I'm goin to go bk with him. At least he loved & respected me. And he's daddy to my 10 yr old so yeah...
 
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