Mental Health Bipolar Disorder Mega Thread

[luckydeer]

Thank you for posting this ^ KitKat.
I think it's really important to remember that you're still human and everyone has rough days. Sometimes when you feel like you're in the throws of it I get really caught up in myself and neglect the people around me (even though this is honestly the last thing I would ever want to do). Then reading what you posted struck a chord with me and then I remember that I've been meaning to pull my head out of my ass for a while now, and actually give it an honest try. The world is much larger than me, and it's true that not everyone cares or notices as much as I think they do- which is a really good thing. I find that I'm a much happier person when I'm engaged with the world around me and not caught up in my own head.

 

[paranoid android]

does anyone take wellbutrin and mood stabilizers? my diagnosis is getting a little out of control, I feel like I'm disarming a bomb with the right chemical cocktail of psych drugs.

I take wellbutrin with lamotrigine and seroquel. Wellbutrin is the only anti-depressant i can really take without going manic. Oddly enough amitriptyline does not give me mania despite the bad rap that tricyclics get for causing mania. The wellbutrin helps the depression alot especially since i get the i can't get out of bed or even think kind of bipolar depression. How long have you been on wellbutrin? It tends to kick in quicker then SSRI's but it can still take 2 weeks to kick in. Also most people seem to need 300mg's to help their depression. For some reason i find that the SR version works abit better then the XL version. It's a pain in the ass having to take wellbutrin twice a day atleast 8 hours apart with the SR version though. Is it working for you at all? What mood stabilizers are you on if any?

I still get bad mood swings sometimes but i think the bad mood swings i had the winter had more to do with the really stressful conditions i was going through rather then a chemical imbalance. Good luck on finding the right meds.

 

[luckydeer]

I started taking wellbutrin a little over 3 weeks ago and moved up to 300mg after the first week. I started taking lamictal about a week and a half ago and just titrated up to 25mg in the morning and 25mg at night. I have also found that wellbutrin is the only anti-depressant that I can tolerate without going manic. Since I started taking both medications together I have felt like I can finally take a deep breath and put things into perspective. Can't call it a magic bullet, I talk to a psychologist every week, but I'm optimistic that my efforts to eradicate some of the more delusional tendencies could come about more quickly. I can't remember ever feeling calm before, but that doesn't mean I wasn't calm before (I can't remember a lot of what happened this past year in particular).

I haven't really had any bad mood swings in the past 2 weeks but I have gotten very scared and panicked. I can't entirely attribute that episode to a chemical imbalance because I'm also under some stress. I really think that this could be the right combination for me, which I'm really shocked about because I had such a hellacious time with meds in the past SSRIs and benzodiazepines in particular.

I still have a very difficult time sleeping and focusing, my ADD is still there, but I think the root of the problem is being addressed and I hope these other annoyances with be resolved over time. Right?

thanks!

 

[Deleted member 175441]

Whats bipolar disorder w/o depression? Sustained mania? wouldn't that be the shit? or am i getting this wrong

 

[ColdNorth]

Whats bipolar disorder w/o depression? Sustained mania? wouldn't that be the shit? or am i getting this wrong

I guess that would be either mania or just a normal state. Bipolar people are not at one of the extreme ends all the time. Some, maybe even most of the time we are in a normal state of mind. Or a medicated blur in my case. Sounds to me like what you propose would be fun though. Maybe not for the people around you but I guess you wouldn't really care about that when manic. I would love to be that energetic, uninhibited and full of creative impulses all the time.

If you figure out a way to make this happen, sign me up. I've already burned all the bridges I'm going to when manic.

 

[a dream]

Is anyone else being treated as bipolar because they had treatment-induced mania? Apparently there is evidence that such patients are better off is treated as bipolar.

I've been depressed for a long time and generally feel unmotivated, hopeless, and not social - Wellbutrin keeps me going to work. I've taken a few different SSRIs, and each one caused behavioral changes - acting more compulsive, spending too much money, not caring about school or work, etc. I've never had any sort of manic episode without being on drugs. Now I'm diagnosed bipolar I (at least for billing purposes), and they are prescribing treatments they would for bipolar patients. But my main complaint is anhedonia. So far I've been prescribed lithium (didn't help / too many side effects), lamictal (didn't make me feel better / made me suicidal), and abilify (helps slightly with motivation, not sure if it does anything else, akathisia at anything more than a low dose).

I feel like it's not worth trying any other medications. The only ones I'm interested in are selegiline or a very low dose of prozac. Right now I'm about to give up on any more medications, which probably means I'll go back to using recreational drugs again.
Today I went in and was offered two more SSRIs (which I declined due to my previous problems with them), and then was told they might prescribe geodon or depakote. I'm not too thrilled about either of them - anything that is more than a little sedating or cognitively limiting seriously impairs my work performance.

Do the treatments I've been given seem right? Is it right that I'm being treated as if I'm bipolar? Could I be better off sticking with CBT + Wellbutrin and no other drugs?

 

[ColdNorth]

Hello folks.

I'm looking for experiences that other people have had with Perphenazine. I've been through a ton of different medications in the last few years, at worst I was forced to take lithium alongside some neuroleptic drugs. During last winter, I've been on a small dose of quetiapine and about 2mg buprenorphine daily, and it has "worked". What I mean by that is that there have been no manic breaks or any severe depression. I have noticed my energy levels gradually drop all winter though, to the point where I don't even get out of the house unless absolutely necessary, or do simple chores like cleaning the place up unless something really starts to stink.

Now I complained to my psychiatrist about it, and he put me on Perphenazine. After just a few days I have a lot more energy but it's impossible to tell whether it's the change in medication, the inevitable effect of more sunshine due to spring or cessation of quetiapine.

If any of you have been on this, I would love to hear about your experiences. General impressions, side-effects, interactions with other drugs and so forth. I hope I've found a med I can actually take without having to pay a price. Prove me right or wrong, please.

Edited to reply to previous poster ->

Is anyone else being treated as bipolar because they had treatment-induced mania? Apparently there is evidence that such patients are better off is treated as bipolar.

I've been depressed for a long time and generally feel unmotivated, hopeless, and not social - Wellbutrin keeps me going to work. I've taken a few different SSRIs, and each one caused behavioral changes - acting more compulsive, spending too much money, not caring about school or work, etc. I've never had any sort of manic episode without being on drugs. Now I'm diagnosed bipolar I (at least for billing purposes), and they are prescribing treatments they would for bipolar patients. But my main complaint is anhedonia. So far I've been prescribed lithium (didn't help / too many side effects), lamictal (didn't make me feel better / made me suicidal), and abilify (helps slightly with motivation, not sure if it does anything else, akathisia at anything more than a low dose).

I feel like it's not worth trying any other medications. The only ones I'm interested in are selegiline or a very low dose of prozac. Right now I'm about to give up on any more medications, which probably means I'll go back to using recreational drugs again.
Today I went in and was offered two more SSRIs (which I declined due to my previous problems with them), and then was told they might prescribe geodon or depakote. I'm not too thrilled about either of them - anything that is more than a little sedating or cognitively limiting seriously impairs my work performance.

Do the treatments I've been given seem right? Is it right that I'm being treated as if I'm bipolar? Could I be better off sticking with CBT + Wellbutrin and no other drugs?

I know what you mean by anhedonia, many medications seem to bring that on. Unmotivated, hopeless and not social describes me as well.

I was lucky enough to have a psychiatrist who took my suggestion and prescribed me buprenorphine, and that really reduced the feeling of getting no joy from anything. I have legitimate physical pains though, but from what I hear, buprenorphine has been found to have antidepressant properties. Not to mention that both physical and mental pain happen in the same area of the brain. I'm not saying it's worth the inevitable opioid dependence that follows, but in my case it was well worth it. I can't think of any traditional treatments that have the effect you are looking for though. Personally I find benzos to be evil, they have acute benefits but the price of long term use is too high for me. Pregabalin is something you might want to try, it can bring on a very cheery, social state in some people while others are somewhat unaffected. It's like a cross between a benzo and slight alcohol buzz, but without the side effects of either. It's also mainly a painkiller, so I don't know how hard it would be to get from a psychiatrist.

Anyhow, just a few thoughts. You're not alone in feeling the way you do. There are things out there that can make you feel better, you just have to find them. At least that's what keeps me going. Good luck to you.

 

[JarBag]

I guess that would be either mania or just a normal state. Bipolar people are not at one of the extreme ends all the time. Some, maybe even most of the time we are in a normal state of mind. Or a medicated blur in my case. Sounds to me like what you propose would be fun though. Maybe not for the people around you but I guess you wouldn't really care about that when manic. I would love to be that energetic, uninhibited and full of creative impulses all the time.

If you figure out a way to make this happen, sign me up. I've already burned all the bridges I'm going to when manic.

%) Unless psychosis slips in

 

[luckydeer]

After starting lamictal in addition to wellbutrin I was beginning to really feel great. I was thinking about how "normal" I felt, and then about how ridiculous that notion was because how could I possibly label my state of mind as "normal" when it was an entirely new outlook. The way I came to calling it such was that I felt like I was behaving and reacting to my environment in ways that I always thought I could. Instead of slipping into a deep delusional paranoia (this happens all the time for me and has gotten worse every year) I noticed that I was actually very calm and rational. Meaning, even when I feel that people are watching me (or any number of my serious daily concerns) I can tell myself that this is fucking crazy, but it doesn't make this very intense feeling subside. But since taking lamictal and wellbutrin, I have not felt that I've behaved inappropriately, I was sad when it was warranted etc. I felt like a thorn was removed from my paw. However this relief has come to a halt in the last three days and I'm fucking pissed off and tired and I feel like I'm beginning to spiral out of control. I don't work, but I picked up a gig this week and I've been kept busy/distracted with the job, and then I'm off work and back home and feel like devouring any drugs I can get my hands on. I don't have any at home, big fucking problem here. So, I just drink. I drink anything, warm beer, leftover wine. What the hell! Is this because I'm still titrating up on the lamictal? I've only been on it for 2 weeks, and I'm just up to 50mg. How can I reclaim the original sweetness I briefly knew. I also fantasized about cutting myself up again- which I wont do because I know the pleasure isn't worth the scar I inevitably have to explain to everyone who knows what the fuck happened anyway. I obviously have more self control that I think because otherwise I'd be high as fuck and tending to stitches. I don't understand this forum and how to talk to people here. I'm looking for help here because y'all seem like you know whats up. Thanks in advance.

 

[paranoid android]

After starting lamictal in addition to wellbutrin I was beginning to really feel great. I was thinking about how "normal" I felt, and then about how ridiculous that notion was because how could I possibly label my state of mind as "normal" when it was an entirely new outlook. The way I came to calling it such was that I felt like I was behaving and reacting to my environment in ways that I always thought I could. Instead of slipping into a deep delusional paranoia (this happens all the time for me and has gotten worse every year) I noticed that I was actually very calm and rational. Meaning, even when I feel that people are watching me (or any number of my serious daily concerns) I can tell myself that this is fucking crazy, but it doesn't make this very intense feeling subside. But since taking lamictal and wellbutrin, I have not felt that I've behaved inappropriately, I was sad when it was warranted etc. I felt like a thorn was removed from my paw. However this relief has come to a halt in the last three days and I'm fucking pissed off and tired and I feel like I'm beginning to spiral out of control. I don't work, but I picked up a gig this week and I've been kept busy/distracted with the job, and then I'm off work and back home and feel like devouring any drugs I can get my hands on. I don't have any at home, big fucking problem here. So, I just drink. I drink anything, warm beer, leftover wine. What the hell! Is this because I'm still titrating up on the lamictal? I've only been on it for 2 weeks, and I'm just up to 50mg. How can I reclaim the original sweetness I briefly knew. I also fantasized about cutting myself up again- which I wont do because I know the pleasure isn't worth the scar I inevitably have to explain to everyone who knows what the fuck happened anyway. I obviously have more self control that I think because otherwise I'd be high as fuck and tending to stitches. I don't understand this forum and how to talk to people here. I'm looking for help here because y'all seem like you know whats up. Thanks in advance.

Unfortunately it can take a long time for lamotrigine to work for some people. I am also on lamotrigine and wellbutrin along with seroquel. I noticed a difference with the depression side of things once i hit about the 75mg mark but i didn't get the full benefits until i got on my current dose which is 200mg's a day. As a rule the anti-depressant effects of lamotrigine kick in way faster then the anti-manic effects and for alot of people they only get the anti-manic effects when they get to the higher doses and 50mg's is a very low dose. Lamictal is also better at controlling the depression part of bipolar then the mania as a general rule while lithium is better at controlling the manic symptoms as opposed to the depressive symptoms. A common combo with many shrinks actually is to use lamictal and lithium together to control bipolar. But since blood tests are a bitch and tend to be torture for me (doctors can never hit my veins without fucking them up royally for a week or 2 after) i take seroquel or some other anti-psychotic to control the mania if the lamotrigine is not doing the job.

Do you know how fast your doctor is planning on upping your lamictal dose? The titrating has to be slow because if you up the dose too fast the risk of Steven-Johnson syndrome goes up. So slow titration is needed with lamotrigine. I would suggest telling your doctor how you are feeling. Perhaps your doc could give you something else on top of the lamictal to help you until the lamictal starts stabilizing your moods.

Also if you get psychotic symptoms like i sometimes do when i am having a bad mixed state, a really bad manic or depressive episode lamotrigine alone won't really cut it. That's where anti-psychotics come in. Everyone is different but i find that zyprexa works the best at killing any manic, mixed state or psychotic symptoms. Since i also get no side effects from it even at 20mg's a day which is a a big plus. Unfortunately zyprexa costs a fortune and my stupid insurance won't cover it so i have 2 choices when it comes to atypical anti-psychotics which are seroquel or risperidone. So that's why i am prescribed seroquel.

 

[love10s]

I have BPD and PTSD as well as GAD.....cornucopia of crazy...also have a strong love for opiods *sigh* I take my meds as prescribed still fight off depression and have trust issues out the wazoo. If you have any questions about anything I will try to be of assistance.

In my case BPD was a combo of genetics (my mom is a hoarder among other things)...which has caused me so much turmoil I throw everything away and clean ocd style. Also childhood trauma played a role in the other issues. Be blessed everyone!

 

[luckydeer]

Thank you guys for your reply. I am titrating up by 25mg per week. Going up to 100mg on Saturday. I think this combo is working but it's hard to tell sometimes. I don't know if my doc will prescribe an anti psychotic. I feel like I have only seriously needed them maybe 5 or 6 times in the last year and a half. My symptoms are not extreme often. The worry for me is that after a few really terrifying episodes I don't know if I can bounce back next time. I can say that I understand depression on a multitude of levels. Although I feel crippled by my state of mind these days, I have not experienced the depths of depression I suffered as a child. Mania, however, is not a term I am familiar with. Granted I think I know what it means but I don't recognize in myself any manic states the way my doctors (psychologist and psychiatrist) have. I don't wallow in mania, I don't know I'm manic, I don't remember these weeks. But I must admit that in the last two years (when I really began to feel unhinged, and developed a nasty temper that was sometimes violent), I have described incidents as "manic" to my boyfriend. I don't know why I say these things. I feel pathological when I try to describe the way I feel. It's like I was trying on a new linguistic accessory, a new verb! "Well, I was really going through a manic stage" like I fucking know what I'm talking about. I know when I'm depressed because it envelopes me like a warm blanket soaked in arsenic. I am comfortable being depressed, so long as I can get out of bed. I don't know how to put it but I guess I am more familiar with a depressive state than literally any other state of mind. It is my oldest friend. I dont think I'm aware of any mania though. How do you know you're in a manic state? When I feel like my depression has lifted and suddenly everything I see is brilliant and I feel like a vibrant color and people are so funny that sometimes I cannot control an outburst of laughter that lasts an evening when no joke has been told, whether I'm even around people or not. I realized that my 16 year old sisters friends have thought I was their age for years, because of my behavior (I asked because I thought it might be they thought I looked young, in which case SCORE!), when I am in fact a full decade older than that. I have been accused of being high by my parents and close friends whenever I feel like I'm actually in a good mood. But I don't see any problem with any of this. That is my personal flip side of depression, but is that mania? Are the weeks I can't remember mania? Why would there be such a stigmatized name for a feeling so good? Why can't I just enjoy it? Why is this bipolar? Maybe it is normal and in that case these anti depressants could kick it up a notch. I just don't know what standard is being used. There are so many types of people and I'm positive that a lot of really mentally healthy people out there share many of the traits assigned to a "manic state" that if this person were to become depressed (which would not be a stretch to consider) would the doctor diagnose them bipolar?

 

[eithne]

Anybody ever get these weird flashes, like you're afraid you're gonna just jump in front of traffic or knock everything off of a shelf?....I get these weird thoughts, I don't act on them but they come up sometimes...

I realise it's a response to an old post, but I thought I'd drop this in here
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Intrusive_thoughts

I get these urges or mental images all the time about breaking things or hurting people. I never come close to doing it and I don't expect I ever will, but they still worried me. Knowing that there's actually a name on it and that it's a real thing and not just me being crazy helped me stop worrying about it as much, so I thought I'd share it in case it helped someone else out too

 

[ColdNorth]

Anybody ever get these weird flashes, like you're afraid you're gonna just jump in front of traffic or knock everything off of a shelf?....I get these weird thoughts, I don't act on them but they come up sometimes...

Sorry for replying to an old post like the previous poster, but I missed this when first going through the forum. I get these a lot, and in very inconvenient or dangerous places. Many times, while driving on a highway I've had a flashing thought that if I steered just slightly to the left when a truck was coming at me head on, everything would just...be over. Very simple and clean (apart from the people who have to clean up the mess). High places have a similar effect, and sometimes guns. I'd never hurt anybody else unless to protect myself or others but just seeing the power of say, a .308 rifle, makes me think how quickly it could end it all. Weirdly enough, I'm not suicidal at all. These thoughts just happen. I would say they are normal passing impulses but I'm a poor example for drawing such a conclusion. I might even make the anecdotal hypothesis that these are things our brains constantly do, going through different possibilities on what to do next and what the consequences would be.

So..it's not just you. Try not to act on any of the more destructive ones.

 

[ParappaTheRapper]

impulsive thoughts aren't good I agree with you. Another big problem i think can be histronic or hypersexual behaviors that one will regret later.

 

[BlueHues]

^Thanks for responding guys...

Yeah, I get these strange thoughts in the last 18 months or so that are kind of disturbing....If someone gets an attitude with me or tries to make a "smart-ass" comment to me, even if it's passive-aggressive and kind of "hidden", I just get these flashes of rage! I think, "You wanna be smug with me? You'd regret it if I smashed your face in!"...And then, I get this visualization of just beating the living fuck out of this person!

I can be an asshole, but I'm not a cocky person and I treat everyone with respect...when I come across someone who just acts like the own the world and tries to push people around, I wanna kill them!

I never act on it.....but I don't like finding myself this angry all the time.

 

[ad lib]

^Thanks for responding guys...

Yeah, I get these strange thoughts in the last 18 months or so that are kind of disturbing....If someone gets an attitude with me or tries to make a "smart-ass" comment to me, even if it's passive-aggressive and kind of "hidden", I just get these flashes of rage! I think, "You wanna be smug with me? You'd regret it if I smashed your face in!"...And then, I get this visualization of just beating the living fuck out of this person!

I can be an asshole, but I'm not a cocky person and I treat everyone with respect...when I come across someone who just acts like the own the world and tries to push people around, I wanna kill them!

I never act on it.....but I don't like finding myself this angry all the time.

That sounds just like me...

I've often wondered if I have bipolar mood disorder, but I feel that if I know it'll make it worse.

 

[exists]

I can be an asshole, but I'm not a cocky person and I treat everyone with respect...when I come across someone who just acts like the own the world and tries to push people around, I wanna kill them!

This -- combined with wildly fluctuating moods & energy levels -- is why I don't work. When I'm simply trying to do my job and the boss comes at me with an unreasonably hostile attitude, something inside just... snaps. My last boss to do this was rewarded with broken office windows. Luckily I didn't hurt anyone (but hopefully I gave him a bit of a wake up call: "see what happens when you push people over the edge?").

If and when I ever reenter the workforce, I plan to be more proactive in regards to how I let people affect me. I'll ditch the passive-aggressive behavior, and peaceably tell people what I think as soon as an event occurs instead of letting my disgust build up inside

 

[ColdNorth]

I must be on the weirdest cocktail but right now it seems to be working wonders. Just for the record: the usual quetiapine, then about 1-2mg/day buprenorphine and finally perazine (new addition). Somehow I'm feeling greater than in a long time, I had never even heard of perazine before this.

Of course, could just be the summer. In a cold and dark country like Finland the winter really gets to you.

 

[SilverFeniks]

I have found lamotrigine to be a reallly good mood stabilizer with no real side effects. The only complaint i hae about it is that it's sometimes not strong enough to help real bad mania. So then i have to take a anti-psychotic. But lately ive been good and havent needed a anti-psychotic.

That is just my experience by the way. Everyone is different.

My 1st time to this thread/forum .. oddly fitting that on Page 1 my old chat buddy said something I now have experienced personally .. is PA still around? I hope so.

I experienced regular ol' depression for 12 years or so, not knowing anything about manic depression. Somewhere in my 20s, things subtley changed for me, and I began experiencing the rollercoaster of the cyclical bipolar experience. I can't be sure if this happened during a Summer of LSD/MDMA use, or if it began years before and I just never noticed / knew what to look for.

Other than trying a few standard anti-Ds and a bad month on Depakote, I've been taking lamotragine + risperidone alone for over.a year with pretty good results. Virtually no side effects, my mania/depression/psychosis are noticably reduced.
Sometimes I do not think the drugs are working well, but every time I have quit has been waking hell .. whether that is a resumption of symptoms, or drug withdrawl, I am uncertain.

I will have to browse through this thread the best I can on my old phone.
I was just prescribed nortryptaline, which at first glance is part anti-D / part bipolar med; hopefully there's some info on this class of drug (tricylcic?) In this thread, cos i'd never heard of it unil last week when I got the Rx. Very nervous about adding yet another drug to my system. Received an RX for lorazepam at the same time, never tried a benzo before, but it does not seem to have any effect on me.