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TDS My friend hates living at home...

Get2Think

Get2Think

Bluelighter
Joined
Aug 23, 2012
Messages
297
Location
The West
Guys I need your help. I have a friend who lives at home just like me but unlike me she has no job and isn't going to College anymore either. She's stuck, and we met at Alcoholics Anonymous and she is 21 and I'm 27 and I was in the exact same place she is now. She got a DUI in 2010 which was bullshit (long story) and then was either too high or depressed or whatever but she failed all of her college classes and now she's back at home saying that she hates school and would rather work. Stuff I use to say too before I saw how much working sucked compared to school.

Anyways, I want to help her any way that I can. And so far I've been advising her to come up with a plan and sooner rather than later get out of the house because it's not a good environment for anyone. We live in California and everything costs so much with all the taxes and super high rent costs so a lot of us young Californians end up back at home without a penny to our name.

She's not military type at al and wouldn't be happy in something like that. But what about club med, or the coast guard, or any opportunity for a college drop out to get out of their home and go do something? I don't really see her saving thousands of dollars at a job to move out and even if she did I don't think she should live alone because she could repeat mistakes from the past.

Anyways, any thoughts, comments, or suggestions would be helpful.
 
Summer is coming soon, so maybe look into working at a resort. When I lived in Washington I always heard you could make a lot money at resorts in Alaska. Also maybe look into working in a youth hostel, you can meet a lot of people working in a place like that, and it seems fun. I am in a similar situation myself right now, although I do have a job, but it pays very little, and these are all things I'm looking into.

What are her interests? Even a volunteer job might be good just to get her doing something, and it can help with motivation and meeting new people which can lead to opportunities for paying jobs. Inertia is so bad for your mental health, getting out and doing something is better than sitting at home and feeling stuck, even if it's just something little like one afternoon a week cooking spaghetti for food not bombs or doing administrative odd jobs at a non-profit organization or whatever.
 
I agree with feralkitten. The more s/he can get out of the house, the better the circumstances may be.

Volunteer opportunities are great- I volunteered once at a mental health hospital for about 1 month and learned so much. Of course, your friend must be interested in what it is they'd like to volunteer with. This will help her get out of the house.

Since she's not crazy on the idea of school and just working, she can certainly look into getting multiple jobs. This will not only generate more income, but help your friend not be at home so much.
 
Thanks guys I will talk to her about maybe working a seasonal job somewhere special like Alaska. She has a car but apparently can't get $150 together to get her license which is ridiculous and I have been kind of nagging her to get driving again, which would increase her happiness a lot. She's kind of a pothead and smokes medicinally sativas in the morning, and indicas at night, everyday. I'm not one to judge considering I use to smoke for 10 years super heavy, but I have always felt that pot doesn't help people find jobs and with some people (like myself) it's demotivating. So I feel like she is unhappy living at home at 21, but at the same time has a roof over her head, food, her parents give her weed medicinally, but they also make her go to AA meetings since that DUI she got in 2010.

We met at an AA meeting and once I got to know her story my heart just totally went out to her because I was a college drop-out also who had to come back home with my tail tucked between my legs and live as "the loser" with the substance problem. Any way I can help her would be great and she's one of the coolest girls I've ever met and is incredibly friendly to me which makes me want to help her all the more. She's one of those smoking hot blonde california girls who think like a guy, and understand men, and aren't snobby or materialistic, or expect everyone to treat them like they are frecking audrey hepburn. Anyways, I'm just rambling now... thanks for the responses. peace!
 
Get2Think said:
she's one of the coolest girls I've ever met and is incredibly friendly to me which makes me want to help her all the more. She's one of those smoking hot blonde california girls who think like a guy, and understand men, and aren't snobby or materialistic, or expect everyone to treat them like they are frecking audrey hepburn. Anyways, I'm just rambling now...
Click to expand...

Wow.. treat her well, really treat everyone well! but treat her special.. I agree the heavy pot use may be preventing her from identifying what she wants and beginning to work towards it.. but also she is still a youngster.. so many amazing people I know where lost in the beginning of their lives, some of the most amazing got themselves as lost as possible.. but I feel if your going to be lost anyway you need to keep moving to find your way.. stagnating at home is retreating a little IMO, so she got beat in a little battle, rally the troops and CHAAAARGE, the time of our lives is finite, the time we get to enjoy the indestructibility, wonder, and freedom of youth seems unending but turns out to be kinda microscopic the best way to figure out where you want to go is to get out there and see what there is, remind her that life is a journey not a destination, get out on the journey and you may be better able to see which way to aim. remember to enjoy the gift of hanging out with her.. rite now on the journey is all we ever have, don't miss it worrying about tomorrow. Lucky man Get2.

Edit: if you come across another amazing woman along those lines.. point her in my direction=D
 
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