Back in the mid-eighties, I went to see a counselor for some lingering anxiety following a horrible bout with postpartum depression. I was pretty anti-drug back then, so I was surprised when, after a few sessions, she brought me across the hall to speak with a psychiatrist with whom she practiced. He wound up prescribing me Buspar, which was OK, but I seldom ever took them, as at the time, I was trying to workout my issues in non-pharmaceutical ways.
When I returned to see him a couple of months later, he asked me how it was working for me, and I told him I didn't take them very often. He evidently mistook this to mean that it wasn't very effective, because I left his office that day with a prescription for Xanax. I only ever occasionally took those for sleep, and I think the thirty he prescribed me lasted me two years.
Then, in the nineties or early 2000s, my family doctor prescribed me ativan. Once again, I seldom took them, and allowed the refill to expire without ever filling it.
These days, I wish I could get some sort of benzo script, as I would definitely use them. In the intervening years, I have discovered that taking a small amount of a benzo is the means to combat the insomnia I have had all my life; I sleep like a normal person when I have them. However, I have not really pursued this,and maybe it's for the best, as it would be a bitch to become addicted to them. I mean, opiate withdrawal sucks majorly, but it isn't going to kill you. I'd be afraid of becoming physically dependent, and then finding myself unable to obtain any, and having a grand mal seizure. So, I just use benzos when they happen to fall into my hands. Sparingly and rarely.
: you would be impressed by our mix of very poor opiate choice and unwillingness to prescribe even those few. And yeah, ZERO amphetamines. Take a plane and fly to the nearby big country.
