The ANGRY thread v2

[Mailmonkey]

Shit.

Your reputation is safe here whatever. %)

Sorry i can't offer you any more than that.

 

[knock]

I'm ANGRY that people make me angry. What right have people got to make us feel like the shit on their shoes, just to make themselves look as though they are faultless to others. I'm angry that I have lost my job and been made out to be the complete opposite of the person that I am. I'm so angry that this dish is going to have to be served cold to these bastards. They've wrecked my reputation and they owe me money. I'm angry that I've been treated literally, like a piece of shit. And I've done nothing wrong.

Competition between employees can turn normal people into real cunts. It's sad. I suppose they have to have the makings of a cunt to start with though.

 

[Shambles]

Fuck. Is this the same GP that you've been working with all this time? If so, could he bring himself to look you in the eye?

It was and no he couldn't. Properly pissed off with him cos we've had such a good relationship all these years. I did point out to him that this essentially means I've completely wasted a decade of my life only to be sent straight back to where I started from cos I could barely contain my immense annoyance with him. Was the wrong thing to say cos that instantly just sets of all the alarm bells of classic drug-seeking attempts at emotional blackmail and stuff. What are you supposed to do though? Just say "Oh... okay. Whatever you say doc - you know best."?

I know it's not really his fault as such - just following orders, as it were - but surely there must be some leeway? Fukkin government morons interfering with doctor's independence when it comes to prescribing is disgusting. How the fuck are they supposed to help individual people when all that matters is being able to tick a box to confirm you have no patients on repeat benzo/opi scripts?

Sent back to the DSP who I've also been seeing for this whole time (but not recently cos I've not been addicted to anything for ages now) and hopefully they can come up with some alternatives cos otherwise it's back on bastard replacement therapy for an addiction I don't have. Will mean I can't go to the pain clinic whenever the appointment finally arrives too cos they won't treat people who are on maintanence therapy. This was what I've been working towards for the last ten years of my life - a chance at proper treatment and the stability and opportunity to finally move on and have a life outside of addictworld again. Should've fukkin known it was pointless. Would've been better off staying on the gear all this time

 

[Shambles]

How were you "off" maintenance scripts while the repeats were running? What's the difference?

Is he sending you to an addiction service to get managed doses for a forced taper?

I had the impression you got on pretty well with your GP and he understood your situation, obviously not

I do and he does. Orders from above. Doesn't sound like he has a choice in the matter

On a personal level, there is no real difference between maintanence prescriptions and repeat prescriptions. The problem is that if it's provided by a DSP then you go onto the "addict" list and all the discrimination that goes along with that. And get pushed into going to rehab and stuff. If your treatment - even if it's an identical script - comes from a GP or other "normal" doctor (pain clinic, for example) then you don't get the discrimination and are not forced into tapering plans, detox, rehab and so on cos it's understood that you are being treated for a medical condition rather than just being given a script to stop you robbing old ladies for scag money or whatever.

Options I got were either they would taper me themselves or I could be referred back to the DSP to work out a plan with them. Essentially it just means that I won't be able to get benzos or opi-based painkillers prescribed by my doctor anymore and will go back to being categorised as a drug addict and as such the DSP's problem rather than the GPs problem. Wouldn't have or be a fukkin problem if they hadn't just sent me back to what caused all the problems in the first place - having to rely on black/grey market self-medicating, opioid replacent treatment and endless cycles of scripted, sent to detox, self-medication, scripted, detox, rinse, repeat. Arsery.

And thanks for the sympathetic ear, folks. Just can't believe my doctor's done this to me after all these years.

 

[knock]

Well, it puts my meagre woes into perspective.

Is it worth getting a second opinion? I mean, it probably isn't, but just maybe?

 

[parttime crackhead]

Shambles that's fucking shite man. I don't really know where I stand with "maintenance scripts" tbh. On one hand I see the point/need for them, on the other hand I kind of disagree with the "state sponsored addiction" thing but afaik yours was a legit painkiller script was it not? Why do the stupid cunts have opiate painkillers if they're not allowed to prescribe them to people in pain??? They fucking work, therefore they should be prescribed when needed. Makes no sense.

If you have pain that requires strong painkillers then why on earth would you be tapering from them? Does whatever is causing the pain just magically go away as the script gets smaller?

They'll be sending cancer patients to rehab next for their morphine "addictions"

 

[K88ABY]

Your reputation is safe here whatever. %)

Kind words are such a tonic. :D

 

[RhythmSpring]

I'm angry that my fingers are arthritic and I'm only 23.

 

[knock]

Shambles that's fucking shite man. I don't really know where I stand with "maintenance scripts" tbh. On one hand I see the point/need for them, on the other hand I kind of disagree with the "state sponsored addiction" thing but afaik yours was a legit painkiller script was it not? Why do the stupid cunts have opiate painkillers if they're not allowed to prescribe them to people in pain??? They fucking work, therefore they should be prescribed when needed. Makes no sense.

If you have pain that requires strong painkillers then why on earth would you be tapering from them? Does whatever is causing the pain just magically go away as the script gets smaller?

They'll be sending cancer patients to rehab next for their morphine "addictions"

I suppose they want to see him writhing in agony just to demonstrate it really does hurt!

 

[monstanoodle]

I'm ANGRY that people make me angry. What right have people got to make us feel like the shit on their shoes, just to make themselves look as though they are faultless to others. I'm angry that I have lost my job and been made out to be the complete opposite of the person that I am. I'm so angry that this dish is going to have to be served cold to these bastards. They've wrecked my reputation and they owe me money. I'm angry that I've been treated literally, like a piece of shit. And I've done nothing wrong.

Urggg fuck man! I'm really sorry this has happened to you - As said, the such small amount of jobs out there turns usually reasonable people into inscrutable wankers.
No wonder that the whole country is turning against itself.
As Mailmonkey said, I really wish I could provide you with more than just words of agreement that your anger is full on justified beyond words.
Much love to you mate
And I've not conversed with you before, so it's a pleasure to do so - Albeit in a shitty manner

I know it's not really his fault as such - just following orders, as it were - but surely there must be some leeway? Fukkin government morons interfering with doctor's independence when it comes to prescribing is disgusting. How the fuck are they supposed to help individual people when all that matters is being able to tick a box to confirm you have no patients on repeat benzo/opi scripts?

And they think they're saving people's lives and contentment in life by doing such a thing? By completely cutting off someone who is so much better off being treated in the manner that you are (or were... I hated typing that) is a better choice?
Absolute cunts man, utter cunts

I really hope you can sort this out mate, it's purely number-box-ticking that are set by the government's medical experts and has no task of helping the people that they're utterly fucking over
I seriously wish you the best Shammy, because - like you said - the last 10 years of being stable and able will just disappear and you'll end up going back to the drugs you've been kept away from by your scripts.
I'm not saying you will, but I can absolutely see how it will actually make your subconscious wish for an alternative

Much love to you my friend

 

[K88ABY]

Urggg fuck man! I'm really sorry this has happened to you - As said, the such small amount of jobs out there turns usually reasonable people into inscrutable wankers.
No wonder that the whole country is turning against itself.
As Mailmonkey said, I really wish I could provide you with more than just words of agreement that your anger is full on justified beyond words.
Much love to you mate
And I've not conversed with you before, so it's a pleasure to do so - Albeit in a shitty manner

Nice - really nice, thank you very much. And likewise... Int it lovely how some kind words can alter ones mood immediately.

 

[monstanoodle]

I'm very glad to hear that I've been a part of upping your mood, even if it's just a small part I played
Words can be healing!

And, now I know yer gender, I'll stop calling you "man" and substitute it with "lass" or "chuck", but "matey" shall remain

 

[Shambles]

Shambles that's fucking shite man. I don't really know where I stand with "maintenance scripts" tbh. On one hand I see the point/need for them, on the other hand I kind of disagree with the "state sponsored addiction" thing but afaik yours was a legit painkiller script was it not? Why do the stupid cunts have opiate painkillers if they're not allowed to prescribe them to people in pain??? They fucking work, therefore they should be prescribed when needed. Makes no sense.

If you have pain that requires strong painkillers then why on earth would you be tapering from them? Does whatever is causing the pain just magically go away as the script gets smaller?

They'll be sending cancer patients to rehab next for their morphine "addictions"

That's the bit I don't understand, PTCH. I know there's been orders from on high to stop longterm benzo scripts and am really not as fussed about that side. Will be an inconvenience but nothing more than that really. But the painkillers is just baffling. It seems that the pain clinic appointment I've been waiting on since last August is taking too long and the government-enforced cut-off point for repeat scripts is in a few weeks. Seems that anybody needing longterm opi-based painkillers will only be able to get them from specialists now and not from the GP.

It's hardly my fault that it's taking so long to get a pain clinic appointment though - the wait has pissed me off too. All I can think of at the moment is to try to spin out the benzo taper for as long as possible and hope that the appointment comes through before I have to be put on opioid replacement. One slight positive point from talking to me GP today was that it sounds like I can choose what order to taper the various scripts in and he promised to contact the pain clinic again to try to hurry them along. Will have some time to try to sort the mess out but it really is a fukkin pisstake to be put in the position where I need to be sorting out messes like this.

As for maintenance scripts, I think they are essential. Other option is for the crime rate to soar. Addicts will use no matter what. It's purely a question of whether the taxpayer wants the cheaper option (which is maintanence of some description) or the expensive one (addicts forced to fund pure heroin habits without the "safety net" to keep a lid on it). The problem for me is that there is a world of difference between being treated as an addict and being treated as a patient even though it's all the same thing when it comes down to it.

 

[monstanoodle]

All I can think of at the moment is to try to spin out the benzo taper for as long as possible and hope that the appointment comes through before I have to be put on opioid replacement. One slight positive point from talking to me GP today was that it sounds like I can choose what order to taper the various scripts in and he promised to contact the pain clinic again to try to hurry them along. Will have some time to try to sort the mess out but it really is a fukkin pisstake to be put in the position where I need to be sorting out messes like this.....

Yes! That's a good thing that you can choose which script you'd like to taper first - Definitely go with the Benzo first because you really need the painkillers. It's likely the best thing you can do in such a shit situation. And taper in 1mg measures. Get them to give you 2mg tablets when you get to such a point - I've noticed that having a larger amount of tablets can have an effect on the brain due to seeing and feeling the amount of tablets and it working as a sort of placebo because you've got many more tablets in your hand when you come to it.
I talked to my GP about this and she understood - I've done the same with my Codeine also: Switched from 30mg to 15mg tablets. It really does make a difference!
Plus, by slowing this all down, like you said - You'll have more time to sort out this shitstorm of an utter farce!

 

[Shambles]

Ya. I actually asked to be switched from blues to yellows ages ago for just such reasons. Also helps that they know benzos are a bitch to taper from so more scope for foot-dragging whilst trying to find other options. I did actually tell me GP earlier that I don't need a bloody taper plan cos I don't take anything I'm prescribed daily anyway so am hardly an addict. Will be recanting that statement for practical purposes.

Such a shame to have to go back to lying to docs and stuff though. I really have worked hard to legitimise my treatment. And for what? Just goes to show that there's no fukkin point being honest with these people cos you only get shat on.

 

[knock]

I hope you can somehow make sure the doc knows you've been honest all this time and now you can't be, without it coming back to bite you, just so they're aware of the truth of the situation on some level.

Maybe they're well aware already.

 

[Shambles]

^ He knows. I had to be very careful of how I presented myself earlier though cos it could make a big difference in terms of how much slack I get cut. If I got all arsey about it then it'd be setting off all kindsa red flags and would be screwed. On t'other hand it really has dropped me right into a deeply shitty situation and he knows it and there's only so much forced calm and courtesy a boy can manage. Did manage to pull myself back from saying owt I'd regret whilst still making my feelings clear though. At least I hope so.

Is it worth getting a second opinion? I mean, it probably isn't, but just maybe?

Don't think so as it seems to be a governmental (emphasis on the latter two syllables) decision to stop these kinda prescriptions. Apparently the cut-off date for GPs to comply is May 4th. Nice to get plenty of warning then. Is no doubt the end of that big crackdown that started a year or two back that I escaped more or less unscathed from at the time. Seems like I've just run out of time whilst left hanging on the waiting list for this pain clinic malarky. They were supposed to have taken over my treatment by now but there's not been an appointment availble so far and doc's hands are tied come next month.

 

[knock]

As for maintenance scripts, I think they are essential. Other option is for the crime rate to soar. Addicts will use no matter what. It's purely a question of whether the taxpayer wants the cheaper option (which is maintanence of some description) or the expensive one (addicts forced to fund pure heroin habits without the "safety net" to keep a lid on it). The problem for me is that there is a world of difference between being treated as an addict and being treated as a patient even though it's all the same thing when it comes down to it.

Just reading over this again, and this is not specific to your situation but I suppose I'm just having a flight of fancy about what's going to happen across the country...

When the maintenance programs stop, there'll be a load of people who were getting by on methadone and maybe the odd bit of street heroin who will no longer have their methadone. The heroin market will boom, as there will be profits to be made. it'll be more available than it has been for years, and seeing as life is shit a.t.m. there will be plenty of people only too keen to pick up a habit. Likely scenario?

 

[monstanoodle]

This is fucking bollocks man! Grrrrr.....
Maybe this will be a nation-wide thing and the same will be happening over the easterly border and find it's way to my scripts
The unavailability of my script today (the date that it was supposed to be picked up) I feel - in a paranoid manner - is a sign of things to come...
I need to see my GP soon really anyway (even though the review date of my scripts is well over a month away), but I'm worried at what she'll say. She knows that while this benefit appeal bollocks is going on that I'm unwilling and unable to start up my tapering plan again.

Yes - I do want not to have to be able to cope with my life continually taking tablets for me to be able to function, but to stop them in an untimely and rushed manner, it's only going to increase the stress and the self-destructive path that is very possible that I'd replace the security I have when it comes to being medicated and slightly more able to cope.

Please let us know of any updates of yer situation Shammy. They should fucking sort this out because it's obviously causing you mental pain which will only exacerbate over time and possibly lead to an extra psychosomatic feeling of pain ~

Just reading over this again, and this is not specific to your situation but I suppose I'm just having a flight of fancy about what's going to happen across the country...

When the maintenance programs stop, there'll be a load of people who were getting by on methadone and maybe the odd bit of street heroin who will no longer have their methadone. The heroin market will boom, as there will be profits to be made. it'll be more available than it has been for years, and seeing as life is shit a.t.m. there will be plenty of people only too keen to pick up a habit. Likely scenario?

Very fucking likely
This is the thing: Back on gear or medicated to avoid it = Choose the lesser of two evils.
The lifestyle that goes with being back on gear, the mental torment that it can cause, the fueling of criminal gangs (some may be sound but there's definitely some seriously horrible people in control of the whole scheme, as we all know ).

Do the government really want that? When they're cutting police rates and everything that goes with it (social services, mental therapy and counselling, NHS cuts etc. etc.) ...
It's such a sad and bleak thought to think that this is what the future will hold for people in such a situation

 

[Shambles]

Thanks, folks

I wouldn't care who I got me script from if it wasn't for the fact it makes a big difference in related areas. Most of the addiction problems I've had in the past are directly related to the untreated conditions I happen to have. Worked so hard to get away from self-medicating and all the stigma and shite that come with it that it's a proper kick in the teeth to have to be put pack in the "addict" box after all this time. If I wanted to abuse the system I could've been on methadone/bupe this whole time. The sole reason I moved here to the arse end of nowhere - cutting all ties to everything and everyone I've ever known in the process - was for the chance of slowly regaining enough trust to have legit treatment for legit medical problems rather than cutting corners and maybe a chance at a life not centred purely around having to fuck about lying to doctors and counsellors and stuff just to get what I need to have a life. Really does feel like the last decade of my life has been utterly wasted.

Such is life though. No point whining about it (although will continue to whine about it for a while I'm sure :D). System is shit and designed to fuck people over. At least I know where I stand now.

(massive overuse of the word "life" in this post is irritating me too but can't be arsed to reword it)