• Welcome Guest

    Forum Guidelines Bluelight Rules
    Fun 💃 Threads Overdosed? Click
    D R U G   C U L T U R E

Tell my wife I take drugs?

F

fluke2010

Greenlighter
Joined
Mar 16, 2013
Messages
28
Not sure if this is the right forum for this but it seems as good as any.

I want to tell my wife I take drugs and would like to continue to do so on occasion. Once a week or fortnight. Just for fun, stress release and maybe to a much lesser extent to learn something or to think about things in a different way. She knows I took drugs in the past but thinks its all behind me. I would rather she knew I was doing them, as I don't want to be dishonest.

My wife and I have very different views on drugs. I think they are fine if used sensibly at reasonable doses for recreation, although I accept that everything comes with a risk. Since my late teens, I have always made a point of learning as much as I can about a drug before taking it. Out of interest, safety and also making sure its a drug I want to take and am prepared for.

My wife is from the Philippines and the attitude there seems to be 'just say no'. She has had basically no drug education and probably can't even name a couple of drugs. I think the only exposure to drugs or drug culture would have been visiting her uncle (I think) in prison. He is in prison in ph for dealling and will be there for a while. That and toothless drug addicts stealing anything they can for drugs. I think that is what she sees as the only thing that a person who takes drugs will become.

The conclusion I want from this is to be able to take drugs when she is there or to at least be able to do it without having to hide everything. I wouldn't even mind her saying I can do them but don't let me see them or you on them. The conclusion I foresee is one in which she is angry with me and I will have to hide and lie even more. I don't really want to give up taking drugs at the moment either, I still have things I enjoy taking and have things I want to try but haven't yet. We will soon be starting a family and I think at that point I will most likely have to give up or at the very least cut down to almost nothing due to the extra time that will take up.

That's my dilemma, hopefully somebody will be able to help me with it. Maybe there are people out there in a similar situation or who have gone through it already.
 
I'd tell her what you just told us. As soon as possible. Hiding drug use from a partner can quickly become very destructive to the relationship, and the deception is likely to lead to far more trouble than your drug use itself.

Tell her as honestly & openly as you can. Focus on your feelings and desires, and avoid accusations. I hope it goes well, but honestly you should have told her about your use when you were dating. It's a pretty major lifestyle choice, and to keep that difference of opinion as well as your use hidden from someone you plan to spend your life with is wrong & seriously dishonest. She deserved to know about this from the beginning.
 
You are probably right. I did tell her at the start or at least near the start of our relationship but she was very much against it insisting that I give up and not giving any room for compromise. I don't know if I could get her to understand my point of view, what with hers being so firmly against it. Obviously if I had to choose between them I would choose my wife. I don't miss drugs when I don't have them or cant take them but I do love them.

The only way I can think to start the conversation is to tell her I want to take drugs. Not telling her I am, then at least if she is still insistent that I shouldn't or can't take them I am back where I started. She would have very little objection to me drinking myself into oblivion once a week, well she doesn't seem to mind on the rare occasion I am drunk. I don't like alcohol. I am tempted to say I will only take legal ones as I am sure she will see them as safer, regardless of the truth about their safety, and I could try to stick to that. Legal alternatives exist for the drugs I would like to take and I have access to almost all of the ones I would like.
 
Any ideas on how to start the conversation? I don't really want to come right out with it, as I feel it will evoke such a negative response she wont listen to reason. Maybe watching a film with a drug theme? Then trying to get the conversation around to it. I really don't want to mess it up. Drugs is one of the few topics we seem to disagree on, that and religion.
 
Recently I have done MDMA, DMT, Salvia, Codeine and 5MEO-DALT. I will be doing more opiates, hopefully stronger ones, cannabis or possibly some synthetic cannabinoids, some of the 25x nbomes and ketamine. That's it, nothing crazy, no really high doses or anything. Use will be infrequent but possibly more frequent use of opiates if I could acquire them consistently. I want to try as many things as I can that I haven't already done and use a few things I already know I like once a week on a Saturday with my day off work to recover.
 
Please tell her the truth as soon as possible. I know from experience that living with lies in a relationship is hurtful to both parties. Just be prepared to give up either the drugs or your wife. Sometimes people have such high values that they aren't willing to compromise on (which may be the case with your wife). You got into this relationship knowing her view points. It's kind of unfair of you to try and change her now. Oh, and I wouldn't include opiates in my drug portfolio if I were you. Opiates can become very addictive and few people ever escape their power.
 
fluke2010 said:
Any ideas on how to start the conversation? I don't really want to come right out with it, as I feel it will evoke such a negative response she wont listen to reason. Maybe watching a film with a drug theme? Then trying to get the conversation around to it. I really don't want to mess it up. Drugs is one of the few topics we seem to disagree on, that and religion.
Click to expand...

Hahah, start her off with Fear and Loathing, definitely not Requiem, that will freak her out for sure.
 
Well considering Fear and Loathing is a weekend drug and alcohol fueled binge in which Duke and Gonzo completely lose their minds, it might not be the best option either.
 
Seyer said:
Well considering Fear and Loathing is a weekend drug and alcohol fueled binge in which Duke and Gonzo completely lose their minds, it might not be the best option either.
Click to expand...
True, but at least there's some comedic aspect to it. RFAD is definitely not recommended, I've seen some shit and the amph psychosis and hospital scenes freaked me out a little. Would not be a good film to break the news to.

Pineapple express, then? :\
Anyway OP I hope it all goes well for you and she hears you out.
 
Yes I was thinking more like layer cake than Fear and loathing haha. Hopefully my wife will never know who Oscar Acosta is, I'm not sure that would help.

Edit: Damn we already watched Pineapple express
 
Thanks Seyer. <3

fluke2010 said:
You are probably right. I did tell her at the start or at least near the start of our relationship but she was very much against it insisting that I give up and not giving any room for compromise. I don't know if I could get her to understand my point of view, what with hers being so firmly against it. Obviously if I had to choose between them I would choose my wife. I don't miss drugs when I don't have them or cant take them but I do love them.

The only way I can think to start the conversation is to tell her I want to take drugs. Not telling her I am, then at least if she is still insistent that I shouldn't or can't take them I am back where I started. She would have very little objection to me drinking myself into oblivion once a week, well she doesn't seem to mind on the rare occasion I am drunk. I don't like alcohol. I am tempted to say I will only take legal ones as I am sure she will see them as safer, regardless of the truth about their safety, and I could try to stick to that. Legal alternatives exist for the drugs I would like to take and I have access to almost all of the ones I would like.
Click to expand...

That initial response from her would have been a huge red flag for me. I'm guessing it was for you, too, but you thought you could get around the issue or change her later. If she's so set against drugs I think it's unfortunately quite likely that she will never be comfortable with you using. And that you will have to give up drugs for her.

I'm unfortunately not a very subtle person, to put it mildly, so I can't advise you on how to break it to her. The only idea that comes to mind would be finding someone she respects highly who also uses drugs, hang out with this person and have he or she talk about drugs. Sometimes that works, I've found.

It troubles me that her views on such fundamental issues differ so widely from your own. I agree with you completely in regards to alcohol (ab)use, and I feel so strongly about that type of mindless hypocrisy (as I view it) that I find it difficult to maintain friendships with people of that opinion, let alone a life partner. I also can't become close to dogmatically religious people or people with opposing political beliefs. I can't respect them enough. Are you not worried about how these differences of opinion between you and your wife will manifest when/if you have children? I'd imagine your childraising techniques might clash substantially.

How long have you two been together? How long have you been married?
 
Last edited:
We've been together just over three years and married almost 17~ months. Generally when we disagree on something we will reach a compromise. We do have different opinions on things as we were born and grew up on opposite sides of the world. Although I would have preferred her to accept my use, previous partners that had taken drugs did tend to be crazy. Because of the person she is I am able to look past some of her beliefs that I don't agree with e.g. religion. I accept it and she is entitled to it. I agree bringing up children will certainly be interesting with conflicting beliefs but regardless of religion it would be difficult anyway with the cultural differences. These sorts of things haven't been a problem so far as we've both treated each others opinions with respect.

There's more I wanted to add in response to your post but I have to go. My wife will be back from work soon and I need to do a quick bit of shopping and cook dinner.
 
Try to educate her more on drugs before telling her. Send her links to good educational websites, with facts. Not the anti-drug campaigns lol, obviously.
And start small, like with weed. Someone doing weed isn't nearly as intimidating or "bad" as someone who does coke, mdma, benzos, or whatever it is that you do.

How do you manage to date for three years and not share something like that :p
 
^
ha.


Just dose her and tell her her she is a druggy now and you'll tell her parents/police/church if she doesn't stop making a fuss. Kinda sad but I guy I was with in rehab, mixed heroin through his girls coke so they could be junkies together , they are still together so didn't work out that bad.
 
I'd try and educate her, provide scientific examples and studies, reports, just show the educated part to drugs and show that not everyone who uses is stupid and moral-less. Just show her the positive side of drugs, and that alcohol is a much worse and unhealthy option. All you really can do is try and negotiate, and if she's still firm on the anti-drug thing, ask if you can compromise and not have her see you "altered", pretty much just avoid her for a small amount of time really. If still not, all you can do is pretty much keep hiding it if you still wanna continue use. If I where you, I'd really just keep hiding it because I've had anti-drug girlfriends and they all hated use more than a D.A.R.E. cop, just went badly whenever they saw me even a little high or tripping just a little bit.
 
The drugs you said you do/tried, aren't even addictive. There is a huge difference to experimenting with different drugs that you have than being addicted to Heroin or Meth. This is what most of society fails to understand, they just don't want to hear it.

Being Asian and religious I can see why she's against it, these people are very set in their ways & perhaps in her culture it's regarded as being "weak" if you admit to using drugs. This attitude is usually learnt from childhood/adolescence and the people that influenced her decision were either people she looked up to or the crowd she hung around with.

eg. Someone just stole that poor lady's handbag! MUST have been on drugs! (escalates from here.. 8))
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top