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How to help premature ejaculation

S

shishigami

Bluelighter
Joined
Feb 4, 2011
Messages
890
Basically this one time I had sex I didn't last particularly long and now pretty much every time I have sex I prematurely ejaculate, on the order of <2 min. Obviously it sucks, especially since I used to be able to last ~30 minutes, but my girlfriend is surprisingly chill about it. Anyway I've been masturbating pretty regularly and doing edging techniques but it hasn't really been helping. I think it is that I'm thinking about it so it happens, any tips from anyone who's had this issue before.
 
There's a lot of threads on this subject, but....... You said it yourself. You're doing it to yourself.
It happened once, you probably, maybe freaked over it(right?) and now it keeps happening. It's amazing what our brains can do to us.
Keep doing what you're doing, keep appreciating that you have a girl that is good about it or may not even care that much(for some girls, 5-10 minutes is enough.)
Most of all, keep reminding yourself that there was a time where you could go 30 minutes or more. You can now. Your mind is just fucking with you.
Don't psych yourself out ahead of time. Relax, don't let negative thoughts jump into your brain.
Might not work the next time or the time after but, keep trying that and there will be a time when it doesn't happen after a couple minutes. You'll build confidence off of that and maybe the time after that it'll be 10 minutes. Or 15 minutes. And so on...
It's all your head fucking with ya. Do what you have to do to relax and you'll be where you want to be in time. Don't stress.
 
stressing about it does not help - don't edge though. Start and stop - get out of the feeling that you want/need to cum, then start again. Don't bring yourself to 'almost' cumming - stop before that feeling starts. When your with your partner and feel yourself starting to get too excited, pull out, kiss, turn them over, move around the room, change position etc. Not enough to kill the moment for them but enough for you to reset :)
 
I think about all the problems I have in life and that takes over my thought pretty quickly. It works extremely well, though obviously from person to person some may have more problems then others etc.
 
floatingaround said:
I think about all the problems I have in life and that takes over my thought pretty quickly. It works extremely well, though obviously from person to person some may have more problems then others etc.
Click to expand...

It also takes you out of the moment.


There's some muscle down there, that tends to clench during sex. Somewhere in the abdomen, perhaps the same muscle you would use to force your bladder to start moving. Relax it. Be sure not to clench it again.


Problem solved.
 
A couple of drinks before you go for it helps immensely. But too many and you'll have the opposite problem.
 
tkarr said:
A couple of drinks before you go for it helps immensely. But too many and you'll have the opposite problem.
Click to expand...

Thanks for the advice all. I know this too but I'm steadily seeing someone not just doing random hookups so drinking all the time isn't exactly a thing I can do.
 
Bearlove said:
stressing about it does not help - don't edge though. Start and stop - get out of the feeling that you want/need to cum, then start again. Don't bring yourself to 'almost' cumming - stop before that feeling starts. When your with your partner and feel yourself starting to get too excited, pull out, kiss, turn them over, move around the room, change position etc. Not enough to kill the moment for them but enough for you to reset :)
Click to expand...

This. I've helped train guys with this technique, it REALLY works. Have sex as often as possible - once a week (or even less frequently) makes it hard to maintain any progress. If you and the girl are both patient & willing to go at it regularly, you can steadily increase your stamina to where you need to be. Speaking as someone who has had guys from both ends of the spectrum, too soon is way better than longsexrape.
 
fairnymph said:
Speaking as someone who has had guys from both ends of the spectrum, too soon is way better than longsexrape.
Click to expand...

I think this is something that a lot of younger guys do not get. There seems to be a general consensus that long sex=good sex. As you're saying, it's not really the case.
Some of my most mutually spectacular sessions of intercourse have lasted 5 or less minutes. It was/is all about the buildup to it, and how intense, pleasurable the act itself was. For whatever the duration was.
I've been with girls that wanted marathon sex, but it usually involved 10-15 or so minutes or intercourse, followed by oral, followed by a position switch, more intercourse, etc, etc. The "marathon" aspect had little to nothing to do with drawn out penetration.

My current girl, I can get her off with a combination of penetration and pressure in 2-3 minutes. Some girls it can be like 15-20 minutes. But, an hour or something like that? Not so much, at least in my experience.

I have also had the aforementioned "longsexrape" experiences. Especially while on suboxone. Pounding away for 45 minutes, trying to get off, while she either dutifully helps me to an end or in some cases I could see that it was becoming or was painful. Drawn out sex can be a nightmare.

My point is..... the duration of intercourse doesn't have a ton to do with good sex. Obviously, you want it to be more than a couple minutes. But, you strike me as someone that is just going through a phase where you're psyching yourself out, and you'll be fine in short order.
The key is if you're both getting off. Be happy you're able to. As a sometimes opiate addict/former suboxone prescribed human, there's been days where I yearned for the ease of teenage sex.
If your GF's chill about it to begin with, I'd be pretty sure she's willing to brainstorm on how you can help get her off before or after you do. If she's not already getting off from the sex.
If you can get her off with oral, your fingers, whatever, it will take pressure off you. It won't feel like everything has to be centered around the sex. Less pressure combined with some of the techniques other posters have suggested will get you to where you want to be.
You'll be fine. I'm pretty sure of it.
 
Find religion and then you'll feel guilty about having sex outside of marriage and that should buy you some time.

Some guy stopped me on the street today saying that he was with some university and that he wanted to do some survey on religion and when I told him I didn't believe in anything that totally blew his mind. He didn't even know what to say.

Having religious beliefs is that status quo and anything outside of that is considered wrong, deviant, unexplainable, etc..

...society is never going to advance so long as people hold on to these magical religious beliefs. Its crazy. Jesus is magic.
 
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^I think that may be the first ever anti-religion rant in a "How do I stop popping too quickly" thread. Hahaha... Eh.
I once told a pastor that Santa Claus seemed more plausible to me then Jesus did. He wasn't happy at all. I wanted to beat that fuck with his bible.
One- I could have beat him.
Two- Like a phone book beating, I would imagine being beat with a bible would not leave any marks. Perfect.
 
teh Way to male longevity is semen retention ;) srsly try meditating on that thought. make it a game for yourself. learn to use breathing exercises to take yourself somewhere else. accept the challenge that her body is trying to outlast your energy, its trying to take your energy from you. see how long you can keep the challenge up, though losing that battle is hardly a bad time. it can take a long time to build this skill, but within a few years, you might even be able to handle days on end, able to cum whenever you feel like, but choosing not to.

if all else fails, sometimes a firm slap on your own chest or arm or something helps :-/
 
Find a position that makes it harder to orgasm. I last the longest when my girl is on top which also happens to be the position she orgasms the quickest. Lucky me. Sometimes I get on top and after a couple minutes I come close to orgasming so I'll stop for s sec then start again then when it gets to be to close to call Im like "bitch get on top" lol we switch she rides me and surprisingly were able to both manage to orgasm at the same time sometimes. Other times shell finish first and then im like " bitch bend over the bed" lol (i dont really say bitch. Shed slap my face but to mske this story more enjoyable i threw it in there) and at that point if im longer than a minute then that's a minute less sleep I'm getting so its in both our interest to finish quickly!
 
95Land said:
I think this is something that a lot of younger guys do not get. There seems to be a general consensus that long sex=good sex. As you're saying, it's not really the case.
Some of my most mutually spectacular sessions of intercourse have lasted 5 or less minutes. It was/is all about the buildup to it, and how intense, pleasurable the act itself was. For whatever the duration was.
I've been with girls that wanted marathon sex, but it usually involved 10-15 or so minutes or intercourse, followed by oral, followed by a position switch, more intercourse, etc, etc. The "marathon" aspect had little to nothing to do with drawn out penetration.

My current girl, I can get her off with a combination of penetration and pressure in 2-3 minutes. Some girls it can be like 15-20 minutes. But, an hour or something like that? Not so much, at least in my experience.

I have also had the aforementioned "longsexrape" experiences. Especially while on suboxone. Pounding away for 45 minutes, trying to get off, while she either dutifully helps me to an end or in some cases I could see that it was becoming or was painful. Drawn out sex can be a nightmare.

My point is..... the duration of intercourse doesn't have a ton to do with good sex. Obviously, you want it to be more than a couple minutes. But, you strike me as someone that is just going through a phase where you're psyching yourself out, and you'll be fine in short order.
The key is if you're both getting off. Be happy you're able to. As a sometimes opiate addict/former suboxone prescribed human, there's been days where I yearned for the ease of teenage sex.
If your GF's chill about it to begin with, I'd be pretty sure she's willing to brainstorm on how you can help get her off before or after you do. If she's not already getting off from the sex.
If you can get her off with oral, your fingers, whatever, it will take pressure off you. It won't feel like everything has to be centered around the sex. Less pressure combined with some of the techniques other posters have suggested will get you to where you want to be.
You'll be fine. I'm pretty sure of it.
Click to expand...

Amen! ;) Well said. My first boyfriend was bipolar and on a ton of meds as well as a heavy smoker of marijuana and cigs; he was also circumcised twice which I've always wondered about. My prior sexual experience was fairly limited, but he always seemed not quite as hard as my previous partners had been. He did have a very strong libido, though, and usually he'd pound me daily. For 45 minutes, minimum. Luckily Ive always produced more than enough lubrication, or it would have been painful. Instead it was just monotonous and insanely boring. At one point during our 13 months together, I was working for my university's summer housing and I was in charge of all the keys; I frequently daydreamed about the keys & their organisation once our longsexrape sessions passed the 20 minute marker.

My next regular sexual partner was a hair trigger when we started having sex, and boy was I relieved. With him I learned that being fucked by an eager young man with a solid erection, I could come in 5 minutes or less! I've read that on average, sexual intercourse lasts for 7 minutes. The build up, foreplay and afterplay all take up more time and should. I love penetration but it's far from everything. Quality over quantity really applies.
 
<2 mins is neither quality or quantity.

Anywho I recognize that lasting an incredibly long time can be annoying, as it has been for me as well (sometimes you just want to bust a nut and you can't). Thanks for all the advice, it's really just been a mental thing and I just had to focus on something other than the act of having sex (which can be hard while you're having sex).
 
I've seen so many threads on this.

Just jerk off first, or you could always just bang her like 5 times.

The 4th and 5th time, it will take a long long time to nut. If you even do.

She will nut tho
 
natural selection for millions of years didnt prefered man that could do these long marathon fuck sessions.... most got eaten by predators before they finished
 
try a mild dose of opiates my brotha. and practice jerking off and stopping before you cum. everytime you do that, it seems to help the problem at least for me.

pain killers work wonders for this. a Percocet and some Dexedrine = best sex ever. that or some MDMA
 
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