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Who has the most bonkers city council ?

mydrugbuddy

mydrugbuddy

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Feb 14, 2011
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The vagabond who's rapping at your door, standing
Who has the most bonkers city or county council ?

I vote for Manchester City Council.

Local press reported that Council execs pay outside caterers £28 for a plate of custard creams to nibble on during board meetings.

Method of dealing with dog shit in public places: Get workers to spray a brightly coloured circle around the pile of crap. If its still there on the 2nd and 3rd weeks they sprayed more different colour circles around it. All this was instead of just removing it.

Worst of all is their current policy of chopping down half of Manchester's mature decidious trees. Like 200 year old beautifull Oak trees in full health, 'lets chop 'em all down and replace them with characterless saplings that reach their full height of 20 ft in 4 years'. Erm the wildlife and public wont notice the difference....:\

Fuckin Lunatics.
 
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mydrugbuddy said:
I vote for Manchester City Council.

Local press reported that Council execs pay outside caterers £28 for a plate of custard creams to nibble on during board meetings.

Method of dealing with dog shit in public places: Get workers to spray a brightly coloured circle around the pile of crap. If its still there on the 2nd and 3rd weeks they sprayed more different colour circles around it. All this was instead of just removing it.

Worst of all is their current policy of chopping down half of Manchesters mature decidious trees. Like 200 year old beautifull Oak trees in full health, 'lets chop 'em all down and replace them with characterless saplings that reach their full height of 20 ft in 4 years'. Erm the wildlife and public wont notice the difference....:\

Fuckin Lunatics.
Click to expand...

I pass through Manchester quite often, and although you can tell a lot of nice stuff has been pulled down, it really is a nice place. I've always walked through some of the "scummy" area's pulling a suitcase on wheels full of expensive stuff I really couldn't have afforded to replace had it been stolen. But despite the usual gangs congreating around the corner shops, I didn't even get looked at twice. Felt less safer in my own home town.

Mile may vary. Gift of the gab and what not.
 
mydrugbuddy said:
Method of dealing with dog shit in public places: Get workers to spray a brightly coloured circle around the pile of crap. If its still there on the 2nd and 3rd weeks they sprayed more different colour circles around it. All this was instead of just removing it.
Click to expand...
Really? Not seen that.. bonkers.

mydrugbuddy said:
Worst of all is their current policy of chopping down half of Manchesters mature decidious trees. Like 200 year old beautifull Oak trees in full health, 'lets chop 'em all down and replace them with characterless saplings that reach their full height of 20 ft in 4 years'. Erm the wildlife and public wont notice the difference....:\
Click to expand...
I dunno, a lot of the trees coming down around here are either diseased or weedy stuff like sycamores and are being replaced with more ecologically sound ones. But I do agree that it's bad to be chopping down healthy established trees.
 
Someone at my local council last week took the time and expense to send me a letter telling me that there had been slightly too much rubbish in my wheelie bin the previous week and so the lid didn't quite close properly - there was a one inch gap! As I've been so naughty, if this ever happens again they will stop collecting my rubbish and fine me.

This is the council that has spent seven years and a billion pounds on one poxy tram line that on one wants or needs. These really are the most incompetent, self serving bunch of criminals (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-edinburgh-east-fife-21401654) ever to have set foot in public office. I challenge anyone to come up with a council as bad as City of Edinburgh Council.
 
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The City Of Edinburgh, for the fucking ridiculous Tram fiasco.

EDIT: Nice one ddhats
 
Some wacky Doncaster Metropolitan Borough Council things:

- Parking attendants must be addressed 'Sir' or 'Madam'
- Social services are bound by Doncaster Borough code to wear brown shoes only.
- If you see any traffic infrastructure issue please ignore it and address the situation yourself, taking all precautions necessary. This is a cost saving initiative and helps maintain our budget for childrens services.
- Council Tax for residents who are recent immigrants must be paid in brown envelopes containing cash at head office, addressed to "CT DMBC"
- When requiring fire services, all residents must shout "argh, fire!" at the receiving emergency centre call worker for faster initialisation of fire services.
- Parking attendants have the right to slash the tyres on your vehicle if there is suspicion it is involved in crime.
- Our council office is shut on Thursday afternoon as this is a dedicated work from home slot. This is a cost saving initiative and helps maintain our budget for childrens services.
 
^Some good ones there - are they all real?
Quite a lot of companies now make people that have a suitable job work from home at least once a week to help save money, but they take turns rather than all going off at once and closing down the office!

I'm really very left wing and I'm against all the recent govt cuts, but there's times when I wish they'd just fire everyone at my local council and privatise the lot.
 
Oh shit I forgot the best one!

- Only fedora hats may be worn inside council offices by male members of staff. Please take off beanies when entering the premises.
 
DSP-2230 said:
I pass through Manchester quite often, and although you can tell a lot of nice stuff has been pulled down, it really is a nice place. I've always walked through some of the "scummy" area's pulling a suitcase on wheels full of expensive stuff I really couldn't have afforded to replace had it been stolen. But despite the usual gangs congreating around the corner shops, I didn't even get looked at twice. Felt less safer in my own home town.

Mile may vary. Gift of the gab and what not.
Click to expand...

Try doing the same in Beswick or Openshaw after sundown and see how you manage. ;)

There are the 'scummy' areas (i.e. the 'notorious' ones where black gangs live), and then there are the real scummy areas, which most outsiders never have any reason to pass by.
 
Yeah Openshaw. Wow. Boarding up the doors and windows on the street after street of empty terraced houses is not sufficient, hence they are bricked up. The part that faces the main road through and past it has had a very good face lift, i havent ventured into the depths of Openshaw for a few years though, so dont know what that's like anymore.

When i first moved to Manchester i looked into renting a house there and even the landlord said dont do it unless your a doley with nothing, otherwise you'll be burgled in no time.
 
I googled the dog shit coloured rings story (Manchester council + dog shit) and, to my surprise, came up with two positive hits. Thing is, neither was for Manchester (one was supposedly somewhere in Scotland) and the only reference for the story was the Daily Mail.

Also, the stories related to Labour councils just before an election.

You gotta admit that smells a bit shitty.
 
mydrugbuddy said:
Yeah Openshaw. Wow. Boarding up the doors and windows on the street after street of empty terraced houses is not sufficient, hence they are bricked up. The part that faces the main road through and past it has had a very good face lift, i havent ventured into the depths of Openshaw for a few years though, so dont know what that's like anymore.

When i first moved to Manchester i looked into renting a house there and even the landlord said dont do it unless your a doley with nothing, otherwise you'll be burgled in no time.
Click to expand...

Imagine spending your teens walking around there dressed like a New York Doll. Certainly kept the senses sharpened, that's all I'll say... :D

I moved back there briefly nearly a decade ago, but had to get out because it was impossible not to bump into a heroin user I didn't recognise. It's one of those places that doesn't even make local news because crime is no longer 'news'.

At least the council spent a bit on Moss Side and actually finished the work.
 
Myshkin said:
Imagine spending your teens walking around there dressed like a New York Doll. Certainly kept the senses sharpened, that's all I'll say... :D
Click to expand...

That's a shame as I'd love to hear more. I guess it was before the days that goths and punks or anyone belonging to any 'subculture' got beaten to death ?

Being a bit 'different' myself I'm used to getting verbals off yobs, "freak", "weirdo", "poof" etc etc.....

I suppose in theory it should help in developing a thick skin. I am only just learning ways of dealing with that sort of crap.

IIRC werent the NYDs transgender/androgynous or just into make up and stuff ? It would take some balls to walk round openshaw like that.
 
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Myshkin said:
Imagine spending your teens walking around there dressed like a New York Doll. Certainly kept the senses sharpened, that's all I'll say... :D

I moved back there briefly nearly a decade ago, but had to get out because it was impossible not to bump into a heroin user I didn't recognise. It's one of those places that doesn't even make local news because crime is no longer 'news'.

At least the council spent a bit on Moss Side and actually finished the work.
Click to expand...

The only time I had a knife pulled on me (and held at my throat for a couple of minutes...) I was wearing a rather bizarre pair of trousers. But this was in Edinburgh city centre! The knife wielder made clear it was in relation to my trousers and my therefore suspected homosexuality.

And the homosexuals I know don't dress like that at all. Idiots! (knifers not homos. Maybe both.)
 
mydrugbuddy said:
IIRC werent the NYDs transgender/androgynous or just into make up and stuff ? It would take some balls to walk round openshaw like that.
Click to expand...

Yeah, they were. :D

A lot of it was a deliberate 'fuck you' to people who'd called me a 'poof' or whatever for reading books and having long hair. The normal teenage provocation thing, but in a very ill-advised location.

Then Placebo got big, so in the end it kind of got me female attention that I hadn't really had beforehand. Which made the scallies more incensed still. And then when you reject their values, they simultaneously think you're beneath them but consider yourselves above them. It's a thing anyone growing up 'weird' in a working-class area can probably identify with. Brutal conformity.

Oasis came along, so suddenly the fact I played guitar afforded me less hostility. But it was running a gauntlet sometimes. There weren't people killed for their appearance as such, but beatings were common. I got off lightly somehow.

Thing is, I looked fucking good in make-up. Everybody else was wearing Sprayways. At least Teds, mods and previous working-class fashions were expressive and even a little dandyish.

I'd do it all over again, but this time I'd take it a little less seriously.
 
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