Will anyone ever love a woman like me
can anyone love a woman that loves sex and wants to love
that truly does believe she can
has surrendered her heart only once 8 years ago
realized it was always mine to give
that love cannot be FOUND in another
but only shared, and that ultimately it comes from within
and so I believe myself strong enough and healthy enough to love, and yes very sane
but can any man love a woman like me ?
that sincerely believes this world is a sexist and terrible place
that wants a manly man but will often struggle against him
and that will turn any soft loving sweet beta man into saucier apple sauce than he already is, and then spit him out ?
I have a fierce and passionate spirit
that strives and only cares for truth and honesty
is honorable and faithful
im intelligent and challenging
witty and funny
talented and driven by my own dreams and goals
im also beautiful
I recently dated a guy that was no match for me, but I wanted to love him
he is smart enough I figure, although he always said he was dumb
he was great in bed, tall and cozy
funny and cute
he had some bad habits, like drugs, which didn't bother me all that much, since it wasn't constant
but he couldn't forget his one ex girl friend, and often talked to others he'd been with behind my back
he would go to see strippers even though I found it offensive
what attracted me the most to him is that he wasn't intimidated by me
he could look me straight in the eyes, and not waver
but it's only because he thought I was worthless and he knew he could not be taken
because he had no love to give
I told him everything about myself
all of my fears and all of my past pains
all I needed and all I was searching for
he was my confidant and I hoped that he would be there to save me
if and when I needed it
but no, he was not
and no he could not
and when it comes to sex
i'm a strange paradoxical girl
not quite a woman
i'm a fan of male brutality in some forms
since my experiences have led me to feel that I can't really escape it
and i mean, not IN my bedroom, i mean, when i'm out in the world
it's always there, in the movies. in porn. on the magazines. in everyone's heads.
it's always there to haunt me whether I like it or not
and so in my own ways i've begun to enjoy it
even though who's to say this isnt just nature?
I like strong gestures, such as hair pulling, spanking, squeezing, forceful handling, being held down, and choked
I feel it's hard to know what kind of guys will offer me this
I told him about my bad past
and yes i've been raped a few times
I feel like this has a lot to do with why I enjoy these things
I also feel because i'm a female it is in my biology
to want to be dominated and to find it enjoyable
I told this guy I had been raped
explained how I liked to have kinky sex (which isn't that weird, but since i've been raped I feel like maybe it is weird)
and all that I need
from greater protection and gentleness at times, because of my past
to this kinky sex I love
and ive never been afraid to tell him what I want, or what I need
the kinky sex
he simply delivered
the only questions he asked served to further the excitement
there was no judgement, no fear
only the label that i was more sexual than lovely
which is unfortunate
the fact ive never held back
in the end he just told me i'm crazy
which i'm not
but will all men or most do this, when faced with a fearless and yet fearful, sex loving, heart giving kind of girl I am ?
is it unreasonable to be open about your desires
when is too early to love?
as soon as i told him i wanted to let go, and fall in love with him
he freaked out, and pulled and pushed me away
he drove me away with strippers and ex girlfriends
and told me his friends didnt like me
Because of the mixtures of the innocent love I feel I have to give
and the dark side to my sexuality, and it's depravity
which in itself is actually beautiful if you ask me
I feel that many men will be afraid that i'm crazy
they wont know if they are having sex with a whore or an angel
as though I must be one or the other
and never both
i'm also going to be a stripper soon
I feel this is an expression of my attempt to profit or gain an advantage
from the overbearing male sexuality that grips this world.. and has affected my life
i feel it is a sex positive feminist expression
i can see myself as a slave, if i want to see it negatively
but i see it as reclaiming an advantage over ... the stupidity and perversion of men
as i've seen
being the good girl and hoping to be cherished for it
is not always enough
i want to be every woman
it's all in me
this man I was also with went to strippers often, despite my pleas that he stop
I feel tired of being raised to be a good girl
knowing that many men always want, even if only a small slice, a piece of the bad
why must these two women that all men want, the good, and the bad, be divided?
Why can I not be the angel I am, with all the love I have to give?
And strip, profit
and enjoy all my kinky sex with whoever will give it to me
AND HOPE FOR UNDERSTANDING
ACCEPTANCE
AND LOVE?
Is this too much for a woman to ask for?
IS THERE A MAN WHO CAN HANDLE IT?
can anyone love a woman that loves sex and wants to love
that truly does believe she can
has surrendered her heart only once 8 years ago
realized it was always mine to give
that love cannot be FOUND in another
but only shared, and that ultimately it comes from within
and so I believe myself strong enough and healthy enough to love, and yes very sane
but can any man love a woman like me ?
that sincerely believes this world is a sexist and terrible place
that wants a manly man but will often struggle against him
and that will turn any soft loving sweet beta man into saucier apple sauce than he already is, and then spit him out ?
I have a fierce and passionate spirit
that strives and only cares for truth and honesty
is honorable and faithful
im intelligent and challenging
witty and funny
talented and driven by my own dreams and goals
im also beautiful
I recently dated a guy that was no match for me, but I wanted to love him
he is smart enough I figure, although he always said he was dumb
he was great in bed, tall and cozy
funny and cute
he had some bad habits, like drugs, which didn't bother me all that much, since it wasn't constant
but he couldn't forget his one ex girl friend, and often talked to others he'd been with behind my back
he would go to see strippers even though I found it offensive
what attracted me the most to him is that he wasn't intimidated by me
he could look me straight in the eyes, and not waver
but it's only because he thought I was worthless and he knew he could not be taken
because he had no love to give
I told him everything about myself
all of my fears and all of my past pains
all I needed and all I was searching for
he was my confidant and I hoped that he would be there to save me
if and when I needed it
but no, he was not
and no he could not
and when it comes to sex
i'm a strange paradoxical girl
not quite a woman
i'm a fan of male brutality in some forms
since my experiences have led me to feel that I can't really escape it
and i mean, not IN my bedroom, i mean, when i'm out in the world
it's always there, in the movies. in porn. on the magazines. in everyone's heads.
it's always there to haunt me whether I like it or not
and so in my own ways i've begun to enjoy it
even though who's to say this isnt just nature?
I like strong gestures, such as hair pulling, spanking, squeezing, forceful handling, being held down, and choked
I feel it's hard to know what kind of guys will offer me this
I told him about my bad past
and yes i've been raped a few times
I feel like this has a lot to do with why I enjoy these things
I also feel because i'm a female it is in my biology
to want to be dominated and to find it enjoyable
I told this guy I had been raped
explained how I liked to have kinky sex (which isn't that weird, but since i've been raped I feel like maybe it is weird)
and all that I need
from greater protection and gentleness at times, because of my past
to this kinky sex I love
and ive never been afraid to tell him what I want, or what I need
the kinky sex
he simply delivered
the only questions he asked served to further the excitement
there was no judgement, no fear
only the label that i was more sexual than lovely
which is unfortunate
the fact ive never held back
in the end he just told me i'm crazy
which i'm not
but will all men or most do this, when faced with a fearless and yet fearful, sex loving, heart giving kind of girl I am ?
is it unreasonable to be open about your desires
when is too early to love?
as soon as i told him i wanted to let go, and fall in love with him
he freaked out, and pulled and pushed me away
he drove me away with strippers and ex girlfriends
and told me his friends didnt like me
Because of the mixtures of the innocent love I feel I have to give
and the dark side to my sexuality, and it's depravity
which in itself is actually beautiful if you ask me
I feel that many men will be afraid that i'm crazy
they wont know if they are having sex with a whore or an angel
as though I must be one or the other
and never both
i'm also going to be a stripper soon
I feel this is an expression of my attempt to profit or gain an advantage
from the overbearing male sexuality that grips this world.. and has affected my life
i feel it is a sex positive feminist expression
i can see myself as a slave, if i want to see it negatively
but i see it as reclaiming an advantage over ... the stupidity and perversion of men
as i've seen
being the good girl and hoping to be cherished for it
is not always enough
i want to be every woman
it's all in me
this man I was also with went to strippers often, despite my pleas that he stop
I feel tired of being raised to be a good girl
knowing that many men always want, even if only a small slice, a piece of the bad
why must these two women that all men want, the good, and the bad, be divided?
Why can I not be the angel I am, with all the love I have to give?
And strip, profit
and enjoy all my kinky sex with whoever will give it to me
AND HOPE FOR UNDERSTANDING
ACCEPTANCE
AND LOVE?
Is this too much for a woman to ask for?
IS THERE A MAN WHO CAN HANDLE IT?
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