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March staying clean thread

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Timber said:
I don't have 15 months, but I have 16 days.
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That's great Timber!

It gets better. ;)

Today makes 4 weeks for me,
I even went through a severe knee pain episode for 3 days over the weekend and somehow made it through without using narcotics.
I skipped the usual Urgent Care visit for meds, and went to my doctor yesterday and got some of my regular meds better sorted out.

I quit taking the Ambien to sleep two nights ago; slept 8 hours last night drug free, it was awesome! =D

Good Work, All!
 
The pain thing will wear on you. I got a good dose of it last night, and it was the mixed type that I knew would at least partially respond to opioids. I had to keep reminding myself, the other meds will work for it too, and even better for it if I just give them a little bit longer to relax the muscles wanting to bend my spine like a slinky. I slept terrible, but I slept, and was pretty close to pain free all of the night. So my plan for living without them still appears viable.

I'm still not sure how I want to handle my GP, pain doc, and neurologist when I see them next. I know I'm going to need more of a few things to sort this out without opioids, but I really do not feel like saying jack to them about anything just yet. If I keep that out of my file so much the better I think.
 
Timber said:
The pain thing will wear on you. I got a good dose of it last night, and it was the mixed type that I knew would at least partially respond to opioids. I had to keep reminding myself, the other meds will work for it too, and even better for it if I just give them a little bit longer to relax the muscles wanting to bend my spine like a slinky. I slept terrible, but I slept, and was pretty close to pain free all of the night. So my plan for living without them still appears viable.

I'm still not sure how I want to handle my GP, pain doc, and neurologist when I see them next. I know I'm going to need more of a few things to sort this out without opioids, but I really do not feel like saying jack to them about anything just yet. If I keep that out of my file so much the better I think.
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So happy to hear that you may be able to deal with this pain alternatively. I have CP so I can relate to the struggles. You're doing great. <3

----

As for me... I'm feeling real badly all of a sudden. It'd be so easy for me to get my script back and shoot the whole fucking thing. I want to die today, to put it simple. I went into more depth on the suicide thread. As for now I don't have the energy to type anymore.

Just wanted to tell you all how far you've all come and how proud we all are & I care so much about each one of you, even though I may not respond individually.

xx
 
rx_prn said:
So happy to hear that you may be able to deal with this pain alternatively. I have CP so I can relate to the struggles. You're doing great. <3

----

As for me... I'm feeling real badly all of a sudden. It'd be so easy for me to get my script back and shoot the whole fucking thing. I want to die today, to put it simple. I went into more depth on the suicide thread. As for now I don't have the energy to type anymore.

Just wanted to tell you all how far you've all come and how proud we all are & I care so much about each one of you, even though I may not respond individually.

xx
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^ much <3

I know you can make it past this; stay strong! :)
 
I'm not 11 days sober, and if it wasn't for the 3 days of sub use I'd be on day 28. Either way I'm not really WDing hardly at all, but the PAWs are starting to come on full force :(.

I'm freaking out and trying to get into being a patient at a neurologist where I live currently so I can get back on methadone and xanax. My RLS and PLMS are being a bitch + the cravings for opioids are making me not care about whether I'm on them for years. May be a bad desicion but I still gotta get my old neuro to fact shit anyway before I can make an appt.
 
Mr.Scagnattie said:
It's super fucked up that I consider myself clean just when I'm not shooting coke... hah, raging heroin addiction aside..

8(
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with the c, real life is over in the first six seconds, insanity is welded on


I'm doing ok.. always get down when I have to part ways.. just have to look on the bright side, we have an awesome relationship, he loves me and has no bad memories of my use to plague him, yes even hard core addicts can maintain their values and morals when it comes to something they value enough.. Hope every one is remembering to focus on the bright side, some of the stuff we would have killed for when using, like not having to spend all that money and time to track down that garbage just to try and feel ok, may start to seem normal and commonplace after a while, its starting to for me, so I like to remind my self how good life has gotten and every once and a while make myself think of the insane lame stuff my day HAD to HAVE in it.. not that long ago at all. Also i always remind myself that the negative parts of the addiction I have now wouldn't go away with use.. they would get worse. Hope everyone is doing well<3
 
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I'm in. It's late in the month but I last used on Monday the 25. Clean date 3/26 so it's been 3 days off herion.
 
Been addicted to a lot of things in my life..quit a lot pretty sucessfully but just to switch to another. I have two left...well really harmfull ones anyways...Clonazepam and opiates....Clonazepam I am scared shitless of quitting even tapering because of the damage to the gaba receptors and protracted withdrawl bla bla bla...I quit it twice...once for a year..never got better...actually barely remmeber that year think i blocked it out ended up writing a dr a letter about it n he re prescribed it lol. been on it for 7 or 8 years now. The opiates Im scared but as scared....And I am on day 6 almost 7....Very up n down with it. this is the 5th time ive tried quitting and the longest ive made it so wish me luck :)
 
70 hours since my last drink, committed this time and feeling positive about the changes.

lots of anxiety it is especially bad today. feels like i have high blood pressure as everytime i get minor stress physical or mental i get intense pressure in my head feeling blood pump through my veins.

no benzos or anything, just cant wait for the anxiety to lessen!
 
^ Stay away from any caffeine for at least a week. How is your appetite? Years ago when I drank a lot, day four was typically when my appetite came back in full force. I find that listening music at (at least) a moderate level can distract the mind from the physical anxiety. But seriously, I think you are just about to the turning point, or will be by the weekend. As soon as your body is back in order, then just STAY BUSY! I am excited for you...you're gonna have your life back real soon!
 
I don't know about expunged but the DA gave us a letter saying the case was dropped.
 
Good morning all of you brave souls!

I am glad to hear of the victories over alcohol and drugs that you are sharing. Like some of you I am struggling on how to find an alternate method of pain management. I woke up feeling like my joints and bones are 100 years old. I cannot take any NSAID pain reliever because of a prior surgery and a bleeding ulcer. Then I start thinking that I will put this fight off another month or so. But it won't be any different next month.

Slipped up on the booze, have to start over.

I really have to start seriously exercising too...I feel like a big old couch slug. I used to hike just about every day on the Appalachian Trail.
Did a lot of primitive camping too. The idea of doing those things now is intimidating. It is weird, but heavy opiate use cut my exercise down a lot more than the alcohol. At first opiates felt like they gave me energy, and they sometimes still do, but overall they made me just too damned lazy to care about anything but sitting around around and playing on the computer and watching TV. I know I will feel better when I exercise, but I need a kick in my ass or something to get going. April is going to be my month for getting back into the world of the living!

Hang in there, peace to all,

C.
 
Recovery, how I dread thee.

Hey. I just spotted the recovery section. And seeing as I'm recovering from a relapse I thought why not post here.

I'm on the bupe. Went to this NA-style detox. Considering going to groups, the problem is I always feel out of place there. I always have the feeling I'm playing a part in some kind of theater and really not being honest with myself. Anyone recognize this? Should I push on and force myself to go there until it becomes an automatism (like the gym)?

Also I have been feeling euphoric for the last week, which is not good cause I know it will make the depression worse when it comes (Note I'm not bipolar I think it has something to do with keeping my brain in the opiate freezer for like the past 5 months)

Furthermore I had this relationship with a person who is not getting clean , and I really like her and stuff but I know I have to let go which sucks.

Thanks for reading and don't hesitate to show me some love/give me some advice. I can use it!
 
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