I think my whole life rests on this. (not money, school, job, drugs etc)

[jeah]

this woman. this girl K. hmmm. ok, quick bit... been with her since 2000 and we got engaged in 2005 but never married. we made a lot of money until 2007 and had an awesome time. after that we had a daughter and didn't do to well. Our daughter is great, living with her mom in another state across the country. She married a guy she just met last year after we broke up in july. she is getting divorced. she is very codependant and can be vulnerable for short periods for such a strong woman. vice-versa too. like a lot of things. you kinda of retain all the good you can off someone you are with from age 17-29. and sometimes some of the bad. so yea.. good things.

obv our sex life was amazing, her ex had never cared to or made her orgasm so that was like 12 years of amazement. I still know that's a huge part of why I want to be with her. It takes years to build a sexual relationship like that. also, the girl in fucking malicious as hell. I mean, she is ONE CRAZY BITCH. garbage disposal is her usual fav toy. good god she can totally fuck you over. problem is she has never done this shit to me. I just watch from afar thinking.. "wow, I could never even imagine where she gets the thoughts to construct an ides that creates what I just saw." and on the flip side she is a 50/hr a week grinder. totally normal dressing and very professional woman. anyway, I think I have said enough.

Oh I have to say what she is talking about. so she is getting divorced and wants to try a long-distance relationship for 2-3 years until we get out shit back together. I am cool with this as long as it is very active and real. otherwise it's been 9 months and I finally found a girl I kinda like. she's kind of a bad-ass too lol. she has to do good this time, I'm not taking any shit from her. and I think she should stay where she is b/c my daughter really misses me but she loves it . she has like 9 cousins to play with and we talk 3-5X a week.

I would ask "is this the kind of girl you would marry/have kids with" and you would think no. but her whole goal is to have a stable family. moreso than me. she hasn't been like this in 6 years. her strength is coming back. I just have to make the right decisions. for me and my daughter. and her, I guess...

 

[pofacedhoe]

so your ex is divorcing the man she left you for and married and you have another girl on the side as well as your ex trying to get back with you because you have a child and the sex was good.

have i got it right?

well if truth be told this woman went off with your child and married another man and now wants a long distance relationship. its up to you but from where i'm coming this whole concept sounds flawed.

people do stay together that would have otherwise drifted apart because of a child but you have to think why did your relationship break down the first time>? will it happen again? does your daughter need more of that?

IF you two got back together and stayed together then i would say yes but how likely is that...? only you know that answer

 

[Lysis]

She left you for another guy, married him in July and got divorced already?

Whose choice is this to keep it long distance? Sometimes people keep it long distance to keep the distance for a reason.

She might be in that "omg I'm alone gotta take care of myself and my kid" phase. Going from marriage to alone can be a big adjustment especially if she is codependent like you said.

 

[Pretty_Diamonds]

You don't really have a question. You answered all your own questions. Lol. It kind of seems like you don't want any advice just reassurance that you're making the right decision to be with her.

I don't really understand why you guys broke up in the beginning? If you guys are together, why can't you move over there?

 

[jeah]

I have prepaid tuition in florida for the next 90 credit hours so I can't move. I guess only I can answer my own questions but it's a doozie. you know, if I misjudge this one then there are serious penalties. I know she is going to try and get this set up where we can be together. but yea, why did she leave in the first place? she moved from my 2 bedroom, gated, nice apartment in florida to a house with 15 ppl in Michigan. Not only that, this "guy" simply does not appear to be completely heterosexual. SO, I let here see this guy since 2011. I knew she went over there and watched movies etc. but this guy is not a real man.. at all. so I didn't think much about it. Those facts make it looks like she hates me, right?

after we have broken up, my life has blossomed. I realized just how awesome I am ; ) and how much of a depressed fuck she is. I am kinda of playing the opposite role in that I always feel I am trying to save her and I am always interested in her potential. and the old Katie. Now every single, EVERY SINGLE person she hangs out with is clinically depressed. I mean on Zoloft etc. and I mean all 15 ppl she has become friends with the last half decade. Her friends have to be below her I guess. I am the complete opposite... I only hang around strong motherfuckers who don't get offended, leaders, confident, take shit, give shit, work hard, play hard etc. when we have our break-ups she literally moved into the 1st depressed person she could find. I made two really good friends and am so incredibly happy living by myself. I still wake up euphoric with a fat smile on my face, turn the tunes on, smoke a bowl, go out and get some sun, do some chemistry homework, big fat smile... even right now.

but she was supposed to be on the receiving end of all this. I am not co-dependant to the degree she is, but am starting to want someone to share all of this with. Not someone to live with me but it would be nice to wake up to a smart, confident, good-looking woman once a week and have a close relationship with.

ugh, this woman has always driven me crazy. I do have some of the answers but I am going to use this thread for help. She is the X factor in my life. I can't let her fuck my life up again (and I can't fuck up hers). that's what I tell people when they ask about the break up. not her fault, not my fault. just didn't work towards the end. and I mostly believe that. problem is we almost killed each other we were so unhappy (not literally... our relationship was just so dysfunctional that we in turn could not function)

 

[jeah]

btw, this is her choice. her choice to leave, her choice to get married, her choice to get a divorce and her choice to have this long-distance relationship. and it is hard thinking about my daughter. especially since I raised her from 2w/o until 20m/o. she is my best friend in the whole world. but I have to ignore my feelings for her or I can't make it. so I don't bring her up.

My ex is vicious. she hit me where it hurt and on purpose. but in some sick and depraved way I think I kind of respect her for it. like I just couldn't fuck someone over the way she does. hell from September through thanksgiving she never talked to this guy once and I would sneak into her apartment every single night. This apartment was an extension of her moms house so this provided a lot of fun for the next few months. her and this guy never spoke during this time. not once. looked like we were gonna get back together. then she moved back in with me around thanksgiving and I don't think it worked. Im not sure b/c it seemed fine from my end.

maybe I have to realize that she is a crazy bitch. and even though I love her deeply, she kinda makes me too crazy to function. or sorry, I don't like how that is worded. our relationship makes me too crazy to function. ya. but shit, maybe it's time to just cut my losses, let her attazk me every way she can on every level she can. speaking of that, maybe I am slightly afraid of her....

 

[Lysis]

How does she have your daughter out of state? I thought part of a divorce is that one parent can't take the kids out of state without the other's permission? Did you give her permission?

 

[B1tO'RoughJack]

drop the past. Out with the old in with the new, don't let your ex (doesn';t work) sabotage something new and real (potentially works). She's just being territorial, and you say she is co-dependent? yeah don't let yourself get sucked into that one, just provide for your kid, stay in touch and have someone in her area looking out for her so you know she's not struggling, and leave her alone other than this.

You do not want a co-dependent woman.AGAIN.

this woman. this girl K. hmmm. ok, quick bit... been with her since 2000 and we got engaged in 2005 but never married. we made a lot of money until 2007 and had an awesome time. after that we had a daughter and didn't do to well. Our daughter is great, living with her mom in another state across the country. She married a guy she just met last year after we broke up in july. she is getting divorced. she is very codependant and can be vulnerable for short periods for such a strong woman. vice-versa too. like a lot of things. you kinda of retain all the good you can off someone you are with from age 17-29. and sometimes some of the bad. so yea.. good things.

obv our sex life was amazing, her ex had never cared to or made her orgasm so that was like 12 years of amazement. I still know that's a huge part of why I want to be with her. It takes years to build a sexual relationship like that. also, the girl in fucking malicious as hell. I mean, she is ONE CRAZY BITCH. garbage disposal is her usual fav toy. good god she can totally fuck you over. problem is she has never done this shit to me. I just watch from afar thinking.. "wow, I could never even imagine where she gets the thoughts to construct an ides that creates what I just saw." and on the flip side she is a 50/hr a week grinder. totally normal dressing and very professional woman. anyway, I think I have said enough.

Oh I have to say what she is talking about. so she is getting divorced and wants to try a long-distance relationship for 2-3 years until we get out shit back together. I am cool with this as long as it is very active and real. otherwise it's been 9 months and I finally found a girl I kinda like. she's kind of a bad-ass too lol. she has to do good this time, I'm not taking any shit from her. and I think she should stay where she is b/c my daughter really misses me but she loves it . she has like 9 cousins to play with and we talk 3-5X a week.

I would ask "is this the kind of girl you would marry/have kids with" and you would think no. but her whole goal is to have a stable family. moreso than me. she hasn't been like this in 6 years. her strength is coming back. I just have to make the right decisions. for me and my daughter. and her, I guess...

 

[jeah]

we were never married and had no child support order. and trust me jack, that's my inclination. other fish in the sea etc....

 

[Lysis]

oooh sorry, I thought you guys were married. My bad.

Your second set of posts kinda shows your anger, and I don't blame you. I'd be pissed too. Do you think you can forgive something like that? Personally, I'd have to find someone else, because that is the same type of anger I would have and once you lose me, you lose me and it ain't coming back. You guys might be able to stay friendly, and it's probably best for your daughter, but that kind of anger and resentment doesn't just go away.

 

[jeah]

you may be right. time to formulate a way to ask arial out. 1st girl I have been interested in since july 2012. kinda picky...

 

[Lysis]

Picky is good , my friend.

 

[pofacedhoe]

she took your child away from you to hurt you and you say you respect that?

if it was me i would find someone nicer and get the child back off her.

you are happy on your own but you miss the comfort of a relationship. that's sorted with a new relationship. for somone who had their child taken hundreds of miles away from them your slightly blasé. thats the weed and the knowledge that if you did get angry what could you do about it? well you could get your child back for one.

taking your child far away on a whim. nasty selfish behaviour that a mature adult wouldn't inflict on someone they had loved for years. moving twenty miles away=normal and an inconvenience. moving from florida to mitchigan=nasty

 

[Lysis]

I'm really surprised she can do that. Taking a kid away from their parent is a horrible thing to do.

 

[pofacedhoe]

if it was me i would have played dirty to get the child back. its just an evil way to hurt someone and the op deserves better and the chance to have a life with his child. if this woman has the mental problems claimed i don't see why he couldn't get custody...

 

[Lysis]

I really don't think he'd have to play dirty. He'd just have to see an attorney and have him take care of it.

Just the fact that she would take his daughter away from him is really enough for me not to be very impressed with her.

 

[Pretty_Diamonds]

after we have broken up, my life has blossomed. I realized just realized how awesome I am. and how much of a depressed fuck she is. I am kinda of playing the opposite role in that I always feel I am trying to save her and I am always interested in her potential. and the old Katie.

You're happier than you've even been.... you want the old Katie but you know she's long gone...

I made two really good friends and am so incredibly happy living by myself. I still wake up euphoric with a fat smile on my face, turn the tunes on, smoke a bowl, go out and get some sun, do some chemistry homework, big fat smile... even right now.

You're super happy BY YOURSELF.

it would be nice to wake up to a smart, confident, good-looking woman once a week and have a close relationship with.

It would be nice. Would you describe Katie as confident and smart?

ugh, this woman has always driven me crazy.

I can't let her fuck my life up again (and I can't fuck up hers).

problem is we almost killed each other we were so unhappy (not literally... our relationship was just so dysfunctional that we in turn could not function)

btw, this is her choice. her choice to leave, her choice to get married, her choice to get a divorce and her choice to have this long-distance relationship.

She chose to leave you (for someone else) and take your daughter away from you. Sounds like a nice person.

and it is hard thinking about my daughter. especially since I raised her from 2w/o until 20m/o. she is my best friend in the whole world. but I have to ignore my feelings for her or I can't make it. so I don't bring her up.

Sounds like your life would be perfect if your daughter was with you.
Also, you do know that just because you and your ex aren't together--you still have parental rights. You can fight to have custody of your daughter and make them move back to where you are.

My ex is vicious. she hit me where it hurt and on purpose.

She knows how to hurt you and will not hesitate to.

maybe I have to realize that she is a crazy bitch.

she kinda makes me too crazy to function.

our relationship makes me too crazy to function.

maybe it's time to just cut my losses, let her attazk me every way she can on every level she can.

Now we're talking!

maybe I am slightly afraid of her....

That also doesn't sound too fun.

 

[pofacedhoe]

I really don't think he'd have to play dirty. He'd just have to see an attorney and have him take care of it.

Just the fact that she would take his daughter away from him is really enough for me not to be very impressed with her.

hopefully not

but if she ran off with the girl once how would she react to a custody challenge? would he ever see the child again

op you deserve to be treated better and with more respect than this lady has done

 

[llama112]

She seems needy. And it seems like you'd just be falling into a trap if you got back together with her. Doesn't seem like a healthy relationship.