March staying clean thread

[GodSpeedK]

Failed at giving up ket for a year. Went on a bit of a binge for a couple of weeks. Over now. I hope. About the only thing stopping me from continuing is lack of £££. Maaan, I hate how I've completely fucked with my brain chemistry to the point where very few things move me like they do when I'm on drugs. Numb or down all the fucking time. Bored and irritable. Struggle to appreciate life without an intoxicated perspective.

 

[Bliindsided]

I'm in my desperate stages of beginning recovery from alcohol. It was thought out as a half-assed attempt to recover so I almost don't believe I'm fully ready. I just went 'cold-turkey' with no support plan which is most likely my worst mistake thus far. Approaching day five and the physical symptoms are fairly okay, was only sick once today, but can't ditch these cravings. Everyone in the house is asleep but me and everytime I fumble an object of screw up on a [deterrent] video game I can't help but shout "FUCK YOU!" and nearly break down in tears. It's only a matter of time until somebody wakes up and bitches at me, and nobody understands how you feel and words fail. thanks for allowing me to blow off steam, good luck everyone. xo

 

[neversickanymore]

I'm in my desperate stages of beginning recovery from alcohol. It was thought out as a half-assed attempt to recover so I almost don't believe I'm fully ready. I just went 'cold-turkey' with no support plan which is most likely my worst mistake thus far. Approaching day five and the physical symptoms are fairly okay, was only sick once today, but can't ditch these cravings. Everyone in the house is asleep but me and everytime I fumble an object of screw up on a [deterrent] video game I can't help but shout "FUCK YOU!" and nearly break down in tears. It's only a matter of time until somebody wakes up and bitches at me, and nobody understands how you feel and words fail. thanks for allowing me to blow off steam, good luck everyone. xo

Hey Bliindsided- congratulations on taking an important step.. you are doing really good... the part of your brain that is addicted is trying to drive you to use.. this may be really bad at times in the beginning.. It gets better and easier.. In the beginning you have to be really strong for what seems like an insane amount of time but it quickly switches to needing to be insanely strong for a really short period of time.. in other words the constant long cravings leave you and then you only have to fight off that insane sudden urge out of the blue after you have been triggered. So any way you probably aren't sleeping to good anyway so i will explain a little bit of whats going on in your brain right now.. your limbic system, the dopamine reward center of the brain, the center you rewired to think that drinking alcohol is now necessary for the continuation of life is know trying to convince you to drink. This is a basic write up of the limbic system http://its.sdsu.edu/multimedia/mathison/limbic/index.htm
an the hypothalamus LIMBIC System - HYPOTHALAMUS

The hypothalamus sits under the thalamus at the top of the brainstem. Although the hypothalamus is small, it controls many critical bodily functions: Controls autonomic nervous system (pain) Center for emotional response and behavior (emotions and Impulses), Regulates body temperature Regulates food intake Regulates water balance and thirst, Controls sleep-wake cycles, Controls endocrine system (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Endocrine_system)

So any way the limbic system is the part of your brain that is trying to get you to drink no matter what as you can see is in charge of everything that is messing with you rite now, mood, emotion, sleep=wake, food and water intake, emotions and cravings.. you should get a plan for recovery going now, sure probably don't want to do those five days again or probably a bunch more before that.. if you have recovered before draw off that to come up with a plan. Other wise you will have to come up with a plan from scratch.. HANG IN THERE

 

[Bliindsided]

Thank you very much, very informative post! Maybe that explains why I woke up today punching the wall? Acting out dreams. Hahaha

This reminds me very much of quitting cigarettes in that the impulses and anger and cravings come and go, just gotta be strong and occupy yourself! Most help websites inform you to counter irrational cravings/thoughts with rational answers. My favorite one is knowing I don't have to spend the rest of tomorrow morning in bed and hung over if I don't drink tonight!

 

[Space Firebird]

Hey Bliindsided- congratulations on taking an important step.. you are doing really good... the part of your brain that is addicted is trying to drive you to use.. this may be really bad at times in the beginning.. It gets better and easier.. In the beginning you have to be really strong for what seems like an insane amount of time but it quickly switches to needing to be insanely strong for a really short period of time.. in other words the constant long cravings leave you and then you only have to fight off that insane sudden urge out of the blue after you have been triggered. So any way you probably aren't sleeping to good anyway so i will explain a little bit of whats going on in your brain right now.. your limbic system, the dopamine reward center of the brain, the center you rewired to think that drinking alcohol is now necessary for the continuation of life is know trying to convince you to drink. This is a basic write up of the limbic system http://its.sdsu.edu/multimedia/mathison/limbic/index.htm
an the hypothalamus LIMBIC System - HYPOTHALAMUS

The hypothalamus sits under the thalamus at the top of the brainstem. Although the hypothalamus is small, it controls many critical bodily functions: Controls autonomic nervous system (pain) Center for emotional response and behavior (emotions and Impulses), Regulates body temperature Regulates food intake Regulates water balance and thirst, Controls sleep-wake cycles, Controls endocrine system (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Endocrine_system)

So any way the limbic system is the part of your brain that is trying to get you to drink no matter what as you can see is in charge of everything that is messing with you rite now, mood, emotion, sleep=wake, food and water intake, emotions and cravings.. you should get a plan for recovery going now, sure probably don't want to do those five days again or probably a bunch more before that.. if you have recovered before draw off that to come up with a plan. Other wise you will have to come up with a plan from scratch.. HANG IN THERE

Fantastic Post!

It was most interesting to learn a little about what the hypothalamus controls (and has power to invoke when throwing a tantrum).
I was freezing, NOT able to get warm no matter what I did for about 10 days, then there was back pain and after that now leg and foot pain misery.
I think the Insomnia that I am still dealing with is going to be the last battlefield.

Once I realized that there were two "Me's," it was the beginning of the end for my drug seeking lifestyle.
Fortunate for us, over time, Prefrontal Cortex has evolved to be stronger than Hypothalamus, for the sake of our survival as a species.
Some people like to label one "good" and one "bad," but I see them to simply be of differing viewpoints, and hence, opinions.

Now, at this point, one "Me" won't stop bitching , and the other "Me" is stubbornly determined to just "ride it out! "

I read somewhere that quitting opiates or booze may hurt real bad, but it won't kill you, this is worth keeping in mind.

My quit was more an act of desperation; this part of me finally realized that the pain of continuing high was going to end up being far worse,
in the future, than any temporary pain of quitting. You see; this part of me conceives of Time, that other one has no idea.

He isn't necessarily a bad guy, he's just kind of dumb....

Day 17, I hope you are all doing well.

 

[CrazyC]

Getting ready for my first St Patrick's Day without booze!

St Patrick's Day is a HUGE drinking trigger for me....my mind presents this endless parade of fond memories of beer-soaked celebrations. I have to fight to remember that the fun, for me, of drinking has been LONG gone.

On the plus, I got a halfway decent night of sleep last night....a little bit restless, a little sweaty, but sleep nonetheless. I will take it

Hope everyone is doing well,
Peace,
C.

 

[Pagey]

^Day 17 that's quite cool, congrats!

Day 9 without heroin for me - which was the only drug I was trying to quit anyway and despite a few pretty triggering heroin dreams these past few nights, feeling really good about it

 

[neversickanymore]

^^ WAY to go Padgy. Gear as well?

@CrazyC This is a trigger for me as well. I have planned something special for that night that doesn't involve booze or being around drunks, I am now looking forward to old St. P'S day. SO glad to here your starting to come down the hill, getting some sleep. addiction takes a snap shot not a movie, it helps me to think of the whole movie surrounding substance use. In other words my addiction focuses on that one instant where I felt pretty good, I now force myself to look at it realistically and think about the other 99% of the time when I generally felt varying degrees of awful. Glad you are doing well!

I read somewhere that quitting opiates or booze may hurt real bad, but it won't kill you.

You are exactly correct, but lets just clarify that quitting opiates wont kill you but you may wish it would, Ha, not for long... But it is important to note that quitting alcohol CAN kill you and it is important for someone who is taking this amazing step to be properly medicated. If anyone has reached the point with their drinking that start to experience the DT'S, or delirium tremors, when they cut back or stop drinking, IMO THERE IS NO DOUBT that you should seek medical care and be placed on a medication while you detox that will help you with the withdraws of alcohol, as they CAN kill you. Also there is no need to punish yourself buy risking your life and going into seizures from alcohol withdraw. Any grand maul seizure could be your last, as they can be deadly. You should dump any shame or guilt you have about your alcohol addiction, you are an amazing person with an alcohol problem, please do not let any of the weird thoughts, guilt, shame, anger, embarrassment prevent you from seeing a professional to help you plan and medicate for your upcoming battle. That said space is absolutely rite, opiate withdraw and properly medicated alcohol or benzo withdraw wont kill you and what doesn't kill you makes you stronger

You see; this part of me conceives of Time, that other one has no idea.

Love this , so true space!



Neversick is feeling really strong today after having some desires to drink last night. Just tried to play the whole movie of what alcohol consumption really is compared to how my once booze soaked mind remembers it.. Hope everyone finds way more than their share of happiness today:D

 

[ad lib]

^Day 17 that's quite cool, congrats!

Day 9 without heroin for me - which was the only drug I was trying to quit anyway and despite a few pretty triggering heroin dreams these past few nights, feeling really good about it

Awesome! Day 14 and I'm still opiate free. It's a great feeling. I have had dreams of IVing only to wake up craving. Those dreams suck.

Getting ready for my first St Patrick's Day without booze!

St Patrick's Day is a HUGE drinking trigger for me....my mind presents this endless parade of fond memories of beer-soaked celebrations. I have to fight to remember that the fun, for me, of drinking has been LONG gone.

On the plus, I got a halfway decent night of sleep last night....a little bit restless, a little sweaty, but sleep nonetheless. I will take it

Hope everyone is doing well,
Peace,
C.

Awesome! You can do it The weekends themselves are a big trigger for me, simply because I'm alone and didn't have to go to work until Monday. I'm craving pretty badly right now, to be honest.

 

[CrazyC]

^Ha yeah, being alone and not having to go to work until Monday....page outta my book. Just think about how good you'll feel on Monday if you can stay clean!

I am spending the rest of the weekend with a sober friend, thank god. We used to party hard together back in the day, but she developed stomach trouble enough to make her stop. She is one of those annoying reasonable people

Hang in there!

C.

 

[ugly]

I always hear people say 13 is an unlucky number.

This is 2013. For those of us who are drug free this year, I think 13 is an extremely lucky number.

Hang tough, people. We've got this.

 

[ad lib]

I always hear people say 13 is an unlucky number.

This is 2013. For those of us who are drug free this year, I think 13 is an extremely lucky number.

Hang tough, people. We've got this.

I totally agree with that statement.

There are so many of us trying to get clean & staying clean- 2013 will be a lucky year indeed for all of us

 

[neversickanymore]

Set a quit date of next friday for tobacco. Yep, it has to join the ranks.. It does nothing for me, takes my money and kills my health.. made it five months back when I was using and buy that time it was so easy thought I could do that one once and a while.. ya, um, no that didn't even work for a week.. and when I cleaned up off everything else I figured I could add cigarettes in and couldn't possibly feel any worse, that was true but it increased the craving for other substances significantly, anyway I think I may be in a good enough spot to try for the nicotine now.. fiending for drugs is unbelievably lame and once I kill this one I will never have to do it again in any sort of a acute withdraw way if I don't ever pick back up.. anyone have any experiences with being six or so months clean and trying to quit cigarettes??

It really does make me so happy to follow the posts of people that are able to make it through the acute withdraws and then are so happy they did.

 

[Pagey]

^^ WAY to go Padgy. Gear as well?

Thanks! Gear only. Although I haven't taken any coke in that space of time either which wasn't intentional but is still great :D

Awesome! Day 14 and I'm still opiate free. It's a great feeling. I have had dreams of IVing only to wake up craving. Those dreams suck.

Congrats! Yeah, aside from the dreams it really does feel great. Things are starting to look up for me already. I feel more confident about my future and all that sappy stuff

 

[Space Firebird]

Getting ready for my first St Patrick's Day without booze!

St Patrick's Day is a HUGE drinking trigger for me....my mind presents this endless parade of fond memories of beer-soaked celebrations. I have to fight to remember that the fun, for me, of drinking has been LONG gone.

On the plus, I got a halfway decent night of sleep last night....a little bit restless, a little sweaty, but sleep nonetheless. I will take it

Hope everyone is doing well,
Peace,
C.

Corned beef and cabbage...sorry, that's all I could come up with.
Happy St. Paddy's Day!

 

[maxalfie]

I've not had any heroin at all since August 31st 2012.
I never thought I would make it this far and now I very rarely if at all think about heroin. Gone are the dreams about scoring etc.
I really am sure that I have it beat this time around and I can't ever see myself using gear again.
Am putting on weight and starting to feel like my old self again.
Well done to everybody trying, if we want it bad enough then we can have it.

 

[PlesantlyOpiated42]

I love this thread! I have 40 days clean yesterday, things are only getting better! Im going with the abstinence route, no pot or alcohol anymore. This is the longest I've been clean since I started using, it feels amazing to not need to put a drug in my body to be happy and to not be running away from reality like I've done so long.

 

[ad lib]

I've not had any heroin at all since August 31st 2012.
I never thought I would make it this far and now I very rarely if at all think about heroin. Gone are the dreams about scoring etc.
I really am sure that I have it beat this time around and I can't ever see myself using gear again.
Am putting on weight and starting to feel like my old self again.
Well done to everybody trying, if we want it bad enough then we can have it.

That is amazing I love reading stories of success, it motivates me and reinforces that I am able to do it too. It's also great to hear you're feeling the way you did before you started to use- that in itself is a great feeling!

I love this thread! I have 40 days clean yesterday, things are only getting better! Im going with the abstinence route, no pot or alcohol anymore. This is the longest I've been clean since I started using, it feels amazing to not need to put a drug in my body to be happy and to not be running away from reality like I've done so long.

Congratulations on your 40 days clean! Abstinence is the route I am going also. Like I have mentioned previously, I am an all or nothing type of person, so if I want to do something I have to do it 100%. Living a healthy lifestyle is such a reward

---

How is everyone else doing? How did you all make it through the weekend?

 

[neversickanymore]

I've not had any heroin at all since August 31st 2012.
I never thought I would make it this far and now I very rarely if at all think about heroin. Gone are the dreams about scoring etc.
I really am sure that I have it beat this time around and I can't ever see myself using gear again.
Am putting on weight and starting to feel like my old self again.
Well done to everybody trying, if we want it bad enough then we can have it.

That's AWESOME!! We have the exact same quit date:D


Yep, cruzed through the weekend pretty smooth.

 

[tripnotyzm]

I've not had any heroin at all since August 31st 2012.
I never thought I would make it this far and now I very rarely if at all think about heroin. Gone are the dreams about scoring etc.
I really am sure that I have it beat this time around and I can't ever see myself using gear again.
Am putting on weight and starting to feel like my old self again.
Well done to everybody trying, if we want it bad enough then we can have it.

Well done Maxalfie!!
7 months clean is an outstanding achievement, and you should be very proud of yourself for the fact that you have proven your point against heroin, and the fact that you are inspiring others to follow in your footsteps.
Congratulations dude, i am well and truly proud of this behavior