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Boyfriend cannot accept a part of me any longer

M

Mrtpitydafoo

Greenlighter
Joined
Sep 11, 2012
Messages
3
Bear with me on this long post. I met my boyfriend at day glow November 2012. Introduced him to molly in October. I have been to every event sober or not with him since.
This Weekend I'll be at an event he says he can't go to (he just moved here and hasn't found a job yet). He's afraid that I will go overboard due to what he says is part of my "wreckless personality". I pay my bills on time, rarely party, never go out. Read next paragraph to see why I am deemed "wreckless".
The last time I partook was in February. I wanted to go all out since I figured I wouldn't be doing anything for a while and ended up instead of just 2 took 3. After the event, met with some people we saw at the show and had shrooms and bk mdma. Never have a done either but they were something I had wanted to do for a long time. I was comfortable and my boyfriend took half the dose I took and didn't take the bk.
Now that he can't make it to this event, and I recently took up a new job (yay!) I wanted to go again. I know it's only been a month, but I've never abused it and this will be a time where all my friends are able to go! I offered to front him money, and explained to him that I want to do this because I want to. Not because I need to. And I wanted him to be aware of what i will be doing. I will have sober friends there too. I feel like I am more conscious of my decisions and aware than when I drink. He said he had never seen me act so distant and like I was on cloud 9 at the event I took 3 at. I told him that's how I was supposed to feel and I was aware of things going on. I feel like he expects me to cling on to him and shower him with attention at every show. And to not dress how I do at every show. It's hot and I wear more clothes than most girls I see anyways!
I just got done with a speech from him saying even if I call him at the event this weekend that it won't stop a seizure and it won't stop a coma. He also said if I see myself doing this in the long term future, he can't see himself with me.

I know he is worried for my health, but I've never abused it and I want to have fun. But after this talk I don't want to do it anymore. Especially with him.
I don't want this to be the end all to our relationship, but I feel that if he can't accept this part of me, then I can't continue to be a part of it.
If anyone has anything to help me or has been through a similar situation, please pm or respond. I feel really down and upset and have no one to talk to about this.
 
I have been in a kindv similar situation when i first started using. I wouldn't do drugs, unless i was at a major event, music festival ect... and i felt that it was justified/would enhance the experience. My girlfriend had a really big problem with this, which was totally unfair becos she used hard drugs every single w/e and smoked pot every day all day. She was mostly worried about the high amounts and different sorts of drugs i was taking all at once. My body has a naturally high tollerence to drugs, dont know y, but i've always needed to take more than most people to get high, even in the early days. But even then i was taking a copious amount of drugs. But i was very well aware of the effects of the combinations and the amount that would b considered dangerous, or deadly. Before you start mixing your drugs up and taking large does of them, do your research, get all the fact, ask things on this forum alot of the people here are very knowagable, but most of all pay attention too and respect your body, if u feel uv had enough/u dont feel well in way shape or form DO NOT take anymore, no matter how fucked up u r and no matter how good an idea it seems at the time, b sensible. Especially becoz you dont uz drugs all that often. There's no point of getting wildly fucked up to the point where it's dangerous/you get so fucked up you won't remember the awsome experience. Instead get yourself to a level where you're really feeling a perfect level of high nd having a great time.
As for ur boyfriend not approving, from what uv written it sounds like he's more concernd about ur welfare then anything else. I dont claim to be an expert on relationships, but i do know the key to any good relationship is good and honest comunication. You have to calmly and fully explain to him why you want to do what you're goin to do. Choose your words carefully, listen to what he has to say back to you and reply appropliatly. Explain to him you've reasearched the combinations of drugs carefully (maby even show him) and are fully aware of what dangerous combination of doeses r and tell him that you're going to respect and listen to your body and not push it out of ur limits. He's more likely to accept and understand your choice if u explain it to him in a clear sensible way and really talk to him about it. Thats how i made my girlfriend come to understand that what i was going to do wasn't as bad as she originally thought and after a long conversation she came to respect and understand my decisions. Goodluck talking to ur boyfriend i hope all goes well.
Enjoy urself get fucked up and stay safe =D
 
Lol thanks but he just told me he is gonna move out. He lives with me and my family right now. He is also an avid weed smoker which i dont love or even like, but can tolerate. I explained I was conscious of my decision and have read obsessively about what I took pre taking them and pay attention to my body. He cannot be with me and I feel like it's more than just this. I feel like he's looking for the perfect girl. With no arguments a perfect relationship. Which to me is not feasible.
 
Only been with him since Nov 2012? That's not long and he sounds very controlling. You shouldn't be concerned with how many clothes you have on compared to other girls at all. If he's acting like this now then god knows what he'll be like in years to come. Get rid of him. Definitely.
 
I know you said he's moving out, but he knew you did drugs when he got with you. Seems unfair to ask you to quit.

Oh, and another thing. I fucking hate guilt trips! He said he couldn't see himself with you if you didn't quit. If I were you, I'd tell him not to let the door hit him in the ass.
 
i cant stand self righteous people who are stoned 24/7 but look at people who use any other drug as if they are the devils scum
 
I'm gonna have to go with the flow here...he knew you did MDMA when the two of you got together and it doesn't sound like you're going overboard with your use at all, he doesn't really have any right to be so controlling. I'd tell him he's got to accept that part of you, that it's not even as if you were being reckless (plus on the offchance something does go wrong you'll have a ton of people there with you) and that frankly if you wanna take molly once a month it isn't really any of his business :\ and if he's not okay with that, well...
 
hes behaving like a nob a little bit

it sounds like he was never that into drugs is needy for your attention and wants to modify your behaviour.

BUT i will agree that mdma needs a break of over a month. i take years now between occasional use and thats how you should be doing it as it affects your emotional lability/memory and can make you more impulsive and angry. as an ex heavy user i can see that its not benign or good to do regularly but there are loads of people around me who do it far too often and dont appear to suffer the consequences but my guess is they do but they are used to them/dont even see how its alerting their perception.

i do think that he is concerned for your health and that shows caring but i also think that if you are in a drug honeymoon and he is not then its going to be a problem.

he is worried that the drugs are taking you away from him
 
Almost every relationship you are in will be a series of compromises and you need to decide how much you are willing to compromise along with the associated benefits and risks of doing so. I personally wouldn’t be willing to compromise much of anything I do for a person I have known for 4 months, especially how I dress. Now If my wife were to ask me to dress differently for certain events I probably would because I fully trust her motives after knowing her for 10+ years. Could I be wrong? Sure! It’s always possible she is actually trying to condition me for a life of abuse and being controlled but I feel it’s highly unlikely and am willing to risk making that compromise for her happiness in that case.
 
If the rest of the relationship is amazing and you see yourself with him for life then I might compromise. Otherwise dump his ass and keep looking. I mean he met you at a rave and is suprised you take E? LOL little niave maybe?
 
I dont post here much but he sounds like the jealous controlling type. That if youre having a good time and hes not hes going to be upset your not holding his hand. Does he feel out of his element? Most heavy pot smokers dont are i ward thinkers and a massive could be too many ppl and too much sensory input. Best of luck. I went through something kind of similar and it was rough.
 
I can't thank you all enough for your advice and kind and wise words :)

It's something I know I will continue to use and he came into this relationship knowing this. I cannot put myself to baby sit a grown man anymore.

I am the one working
My family let him stay with us for low rent
I am the one who offered to spot him money - and he got upset saying "you said you'd spot me the money that means I have to pay you back"
I have my head on right and I think it's time to move on. I'm not choosing mdma over someone, but I can't live under someone else's control where they make me feel guilty and scold me, not help me or check on me.

Much much love to y'all <3
 
Definitely sounds like the right choice to me. I guess it's better you discovered he was like this fairly early on in the relationship, so you can end it before it's too painful at least :)
 
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Mrtpitydafoo said:
I can't thank you all enough for your advice and kind and wise words :)

It's something I know I will continue to use and he came into this relationship knowing this. I cannot put myself to baby sit a grown man anymore.

I am the one working
My family let him stay with us for low rent
I am the one who offered to spot him money - and he got upset saying "you said you'd spot me the money that means I have to pay you back"
I have my head on right and I think it's time to move on. I'm not choosing mdma over someone, but I can't live under someone else's control where they make me feel guilty and scold me, not help me or check on me.

Much much love to y'all <3
Click to expand...


woah you never mentioned he was a parasitic mooch in your op. ditch anyone who brings nothing to the table
 
Mrtpitydafoo said:
I can't thank you all enough for your advice and kind and wise words :)

It's something I know I will continue to use and he came into this relationship knowing this. I cannot put myself to baby sit a grown man anymore.

I am the one working
My family let him stay with us for low rent
I am the one who offered to spot him money - and he got upset saying "you said you'd spot me the money that means I have to pay you back"
I have my head on right and I think it's time to move on. I'm not choosing mdma over someone, but I can't live under someone else's control where they make me feel guilty and scold me, not help me or check on me.

Much much love to y'all <3
Click to expand...
That's the spirit! Who is he to pass judgment on you when you've been nothing but caring and nice to him? Sounds like a douche. When he comes crawling back make sure you slam the door in his face. What a loser.
 
Pretty_Diamonds said:
That's the spirit! Who is he to pass judgment on you when you've been nothing but caring and nice to him? Sounds like a douche. When he comes crawling back make sure you slam the door in his face. What a loser.
Click to expand...

Yes!
 
damn i wrote some great shit and then read forward in the thread to find that he moved out already. sorry to hear that. some people just cant deal. 4 months of mdma experience isnt a whole lot and anti-drug rhetoric has definitely ingrained the idea that all drugs are more destructive than they (may) actually be (thanks D.A.R.E and related programs).

if you date another mdma virgin i suggest taking it alone with him to give him the experience of it removed from the party scene as well. which can make for a wicked romantic night to remember.
 
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