• S E X
    L O V E +
    R E L A T I O N S H I P S


    ❤️ Welcome Guest! ❤️


    Posting Guidelines Bluelight Rules
  • SLR Moderators: Senior Staff

Please read my story & help me, it's pretty unbelievable?

I

isla.raquel

Greenlighter
Joined
Mar 8, 2013
Messages
8
Hi,

I'll try to make this as short as possible. Basically I drove 600 miles to meet up with someone who I met online; Turns out he sells MDMA. We spent 5 days together & worked our way up to doing 1.5-2 grams per day. We'd just snort it & have sex for hours on end. I've experimented with drugs before, but never like this (never did MDMA before). I dropped the L word while we were having sex on accident... it just slipped out. It took him longer to say it because he said he doesn't throw that word around unless he means it. But he did say it to me before I left. We also had crazy chemistry while we were sober during the day; he took me out to the movies, to eat, introduced me to his family & friends, & basically put 100% trust in me when he took me to his house & showed me a lot, & I mean a LOT of crazy stuff... & We had sober sex a few times & that was really amazing & sweet too.

After 5 days I drive back to my state & we text/call each other constantly. We're still in love, despite being 600 miles apart & sober. In 3 weeks I fly back. We do the same routine again. I go back home. Still call/txt constantly. *Present day* I'm flying out to see him in about 1 month from now (He can't leave his state at the moment). This will be our last time visiting each other. We've talked about it a lot & we're going to move in together in May or June; I'll be moving there.

Which brings me to my reason for this post. My only red flag about this guy is it seems like he is so much sweeter to me when he's on MDMA. He just says things he wouldn't say sober. For instance, last night he was high & told me that he didn't want to sound creepy, but he can see me being the last girl he dates. & He is just so sweet when he's on MDMA, but when he's sober, he doesn't say things like that...

I brought it up & he said it's because he's insecure, but when he's on MDMA he can express how he feels without feeling self-conscious. Do you think that's the case? I'm worried the MDMA is putting feelings that aren't really there in him, because why can't he say things like that sober if the feelings are true?

I know our 'vacations' will be totally different from me living there. I'm aware of that. But, we meet each other on chat roullete... if that's not fate I don't know what is. I already feel like a completely different person after meeting him... & I feel like moving out of state to be with him is the right decision in my heart; I'm being called there. But, I would love some insight/advice on the entire situation from anyone with experience with MDMA. Could it be clouding my judgement? Or did it just bring out something that was already there? Is this crazy?

Please help me see reason here.
 
MDMA releases a neurochemical called Oxytocin.. AKA the love hormone. It is the same chemical found in breast milk that helps babies bond to their mothers, and couples that have higher levels of oxytocin typically stay together for longer. This is not to way what you felt wasn't "real", but I would be very suspicious.


Also, don't abuse MDMA like that... if you had to do 2 grams in a day, it sounds like he has some shitty MDMA. Please read the 6 Simple Rules for MDMA thread stickied in ED to learn some basics on the drug.



I think this thread would do much better in Sex, Love and Relationships though.. it's another subforum here on BL. You'll probably get some more helpful answers over there, it's a great caring bunch of people. I may need to cut some parts out though, nothing major at all though.
 
I was pretty annoyed when I got home & was freaking out as I was coming down... but in the end he promised I would be okay & I was. I didn't die & I'm fine now. But, I see your point there... & I'll post it in that section as well, thanks for the suggestion.
 
Sweetheart, you're going to move there no matter what we say, but do yourself a favor that will never turn out negatively: open yourself a savings account and put money into it. Don't take that money out for anyone except yourself if you are desperate and things turn sour.
 
Hi Isla,
Lysis has some very good advice. There's nothing worse than being trapped or stranded. I've been there, I should know. Please do put some money safely away just in case Mr. MDMA isn't all He's cracked up to be...you already seem to be having doubts, too...plus, please be careful to protect yourself (safe sex) so you don't end up with an unwanted or unplanned souvenir.
 
Ouch, I'm sorry but I really really don't think this is a good idea...I already think it's insane when people move in together after just a few months together, but a few weeks?! Especially considering you did so much MDMA and it's very unlikely his (or your) feelings are as strong as they appear to be when you're rolling. Please reconsider this :( and if your mind is decidedly made then follow Lysis' advice for sure.
 
Folley said:
MDMA releases a neurochemical called Oxytocin.. AKA the love hormone. It is the same chemical found in breast milk that helps babies bond to their mothers, and couples that have higher levels of oxytocin typically stay together for longer. This is not to way what you felt wasn't "real", but I would be very suspicious.


Also, don't abuse MDMA like that... if you had to do 2 grams in a day, it sounds like he has some shitty MDMA. Please read the 6 Simple Rules for MDMA thread stickied in ED to learn some basics on the drug.
Click to expand...

All of that ^

Ive heard this story many times before. Ive experienced it myself, to a degree. Youre experience is hardly unbelievable, I think youd find it is quite common. I also think its a good learning experience, in the long term.

That is not to say I think its a good idea.
 
Holy shit lol

this reminds me of a few months back when my mates and I were shit-talking a lot, and I told my mate if I felt like it... I could open his girl up to her first MDMA experience and take her away from him forever.

you've been whisked away by the power of love! MDMA is the modern day love potion.
 
use caution when deciding to pick up your bags and move in, far away from home, if at any way possible find a job before you move there, living in the same house with your SO and not having anywhere to go but stay home is formula for heartbreak, the circumstances are outrageous

all it takes is 4 straight days of not really being receptive to each other and suddenly those great nights you've spent together are forgotten

plus mdma is the last drug you want to abuse regularly, if you value 'feeling good' you should think twice about using MDMA more than once every 2-3 weeks, you can research in the forums we have here

i wish you the best of luck, hope you took my post as a warning sign and not as someone who's convinced it won't work, cause i think it can, it's jus yearst i've kinda did exactly what you're doing(minus the heavy drug use), although it didn't work out, i was still able to consider it a great experience
 
this sounds like a horrible idea.

Firstly, why can't he leave the state? Is he in trouble with the law?

Also, you hardly know him. And most of you're encounters with him have been whilst you have been loved up on MDMA. MDMA can be a great way to open up to someone, but at the same time alot of the things that are felt are not real or at best, amplifed.

He also sounds like bad news. Abusing MDMA that much is extremly unhealthy. Doing it for too long like that is a sure fire way to trigger mental illness like depression and anxiety. I attribute my developing depression and anxiety to having alot to do with abusing MDMA heavily.

if you are hell bent on being with him, why don't you try doing this. Go and stay with him for a month. Don't commit to moving in with him and don't use MDMA with each other. See how you feel after that. If you still like him/love him - then think about moving there AFTER you have found a job there. I also thoroughly recommend you finding your own place to live. I agree with pagey, moving in with a partner is not something to take lightly or do quickly. I moved in with my last girlfriend after dating her for 1.5 years, and travelling with her for 6 months. even then I wasn't prepared for alot of her quirks or issues. You certainly aren't prepared knowing this person for only a few weeks.

All in all, I think you'd be better off just forgetting the whole thing.
 
Pagey said:
Ouch, I'm sorry but I really really don't think this is a good idea...I already think it's insane when people move in together after just a few months together, but a few weeks?! Especially considering you did so much MDMA and it's very unlikely his (or your) feelings are as strong as they appear to be when you're rolling. Please reconsider this :( and if your mind is decidedly made then follow Lysis' advice for sure.
Click to expand...

Exactly what I was thinking.
It doesn't seem like a good idea at all.
 
@op how old are you? It sounds like you have a lot of growing up to do first before you move to be with this dope. The whole situatiation sounds immature! Just my 2 cents!
 
I have to agree and disagree with everyone here..

Take a step back and maybe slow down a bit.. BUT I think it sounds like you guys talk a lot more then what the people here think.. They are right, that is WAY too much MDMA at once.. You guys really need to get that in check.. For your Health.. Once a month is pushing it..

1st...Guys are not really well known for sharing and saying whats on their mind. It Could be the MDMA talking BUT If he's like the guys I know.. it is just doing its job and letting him say whats running around on his mind.

2nd..Do what, not only. your heart says but what your GUT screams is right here.. None of us can tell you anything that you don't know and we do not know everything that you already know..

Despite what others say.. it's not immature... life can take an odd road some times and it sounds like you just made some poor uneducated choices when it came to the OVER uses of MDMA....MDMA can have a wonderful after glow that will last for a few days after words and in that time everything is GREAT, WONDERFUL and will work no matter what....during that time.. yeah sure it might be clouding your thoughts a little bit but after that.. All they are, are memories.. You are clean sober and able to think out side of that.. If you both feel the same sober as you do rolling then You know its real... No matter weather he can talk in an emotional manor or not, LOTS of guys are really not great at that.. Once YOU figure out SOBER that it is real.. then you know that what you guys say while rolling is just coming simpler for him..

My other half and I look at MDMA as our "Bonding and Therapy" together.. We both know that we love each other but while rolling its easier to talk thru any issues and express how we feel not only about each other but our lives and everything around us.. We value it as a gift and it has "saved" us a lot and allowed us to get tru some very nasty shit at times.. But we DON'T ABUSE IT!! We space our rolls...we shoot for at least two months apart but every once in a blue moon its been a month.. for the most part its only been once every four to six months if that..

PLEASE do some research on MDMA before trying it again!! The quantities and frequency that you guys are ABUSING it is VERY Dangerous!! If you love him and you love your self PLEASE do some reading and cross research! While you most likely will not drop dead from it... You can inflict semi-permanent to permanent damage to your self and or him.. Depression, loss of memory, Brain zaps, paranoia just to name a few issues.. and these CAN and WILL DESTROY any relationship pretty easy..
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top