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What are the dumbest ways that you tried to hide your drug habit?

thats one of the only ways that i can hide getting high is by taking amps. I just tell people i had 1 too many cups of coffee.
 
Psychlone Jack said:
Oh, lol, and if I was too dopesick or hungover to make it to work/school/wherever, I didn't just call in sick, I gave an excuse that was guaranteed to stop any further questions - "I have diarrhea."
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fuckin lol. Used that one too.

My high school gf and I used to smoke dope in the morning then call up the school and pretend to be each others parents in very adult sounding voices. It was classic we used to laugh ourselves silly doing it.
 
LOL, I've done a few things others have posted, or at least similar things.

The first time I used mushrooms was interesting, to say the least. After climbing a mountain and then heading home because I felt scared of the clouds/sky-in-general, I rode most of the trip out in my bedroom with my also tripping girlfriend. I was only on 3.5 grams, a pussy dose to my 10+ gram preference nowadays. But for my first time, it really blew my mind and would have been obvious if I was around other people. I still remember my brother coming to my door once for something, and then again for something else. He stared at me like I was insane, and obviously knew I was high on something. I can't even remember what he said to me.

Unfortunately, it was then that my mom yelled out to me as she headed downstairs to her room that I needed to help my brother with his math homework. Briefly, for about half an hour, I had to leave my room and act as normal as was possible in front of my sister, my brother, my dad (very shortly), and my sister's friend. I'm sure they all knew I was under the influence of something, and likely suspected it was more than my usual cannabis use (which was part of my excuse). I was tripping balls as I tried to navigate the realm of mathematics, the very numbers on the page moving around as if they had their own volition. Somehow, I got through his homework, correctly, with him, and retreated back to my room to trip freely again.

I must have had huge pupils, I laughed way too much, and my movements must have been odd. Not to mention the weird things I'd say and the odd workings of my emotions on a psychedelic. I was obviously high on something. What was my excuse? I said I'd had a really good meditation session and just smoked some pot afterwards (my cannabis use was known to them). Which, honestly, is just ludicrous; nowhere near able to cause the effects that I was experiencing and they were witnessing.

Strangely, I think only one person, my brother, didn't buy the explanation (looking back I'd expect no one to believe it, lol). He knew. He just knew. 8)
 
One of the most stupid ideas was adding enough amps to the heroin so i wouldn't get pinpoint pupils. Needless to say I was totally wired when they reached an acceptable size.
Tried to make my family believe I had been sleepwalking after I stumbled in my sisters room in the middle of the night, totally out of it on zopiclone & weed.
Told countless times "I hadn't slept well the last night or had been "so stressed out" that day when I was actually on opies/benzos.
 
I took a couple klonopins at work once & was so out of it that I don't remember most of the last hour at work. After my boss sent me away because I was totally incoherent, I proceeded to drive my car into a ditch trying to go to the store. (I vaguely remember firemen and don't know how I convinced them I was just exhausted & fell asleep. They had to pick up my car with a crane.) After that, to convince my boss I wasn't on drugs and avoid getting fired, I told him the whole incident scared me so bad I went to a doctor & found out I have pernicious anemia. (Severe B12 deficiency.) I told him it was lucky I had that scare because the next stage would've been kidney failure. Now any time I'm a little out of it I blame it on needing my monthly B12 injection.
 
ohshea said:
Blew pot or crack smoke through a cardboard paper towel roll stuffed w dryer sheets to change smell of smoke.

Spent mucho dinero on "gas" and "food for the cat".. Excuses for my mom to wire me money in college.
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ah I used to use spoofs all the time, they actually do work
 
too many to list or even remember

but one really stupid way i would lie about using was tellin people you're just sick

people tend to know something is up when you are deathy ill one day, then the next you're on top of the world n then the next day your sick as shit again

you can only use the "im just sick" line so many times before everyone knows its BS
 
I've used the gay excuse before when a neighbor approached me and a buddy stoned in the car. Also got pulled over after smoking and car smelled like weed so I proceeded to burn my leg hair to cover the smell. It worked. So many excuses I've used for my heroin behavior.
 
HighonLife said:
but one really stupid way i would lie about using was tellin people you're just sick
people tend to know something is up when you are deathy ill one day, then the next you're on top of the world n then the next day your sick as shit again
you can only use the "im just sick" line so many times before everyone knows its BS
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Yeah, using that line more than 2-3 times will get you in trouble... but sometimes people judge others way too fast. A former colleague of mine had a serious food intolerance, I can't remember if it was gluten or lactose but it was no joke. She had to go to the ER to have her stomach pumped a few times after unintentionally eating certain foods. She got fired after a few months. The boss thought that she wasn't careful enough with what she chose to eat, he almost said that she ate toxic stuff on purpose to miss work!! He obviously thought that she was a drug addict pretending to have a medical condition to hide her drug use.

Ironically she got very sick a few times after eating stuff that was specifically labeled 'gluten-free' or 'lactose-free', so you definitely couldn't say that she wasn't careful enough.
 
oh yeah, long sleeves in the summer. Hah. only did it a few times as I didn't really give a flying fuck forreal who knew I was using.
 
When I was smoking weed 24/7, i used apples. I would tell my boss/supervisor, an apple a day keeps the doctor away. Then he would ask, why do you always leave with it and then come back without it??? Because I ate it motherfucker!!!!! :)
 
^lol

Some of the bad ones:
Being at work as a waiter, having my table ask if I'm all right, then playing it off as allergies; another said, "Damnnn, that boy look like he on cloud 9" as I walked away. Fuck it, they both tipped. I was working for Asians anyway, they didn't notice my eyes lol.
Getting in a wreck and having the cops come, they ask why I can't keep my eyes open, and I say, "I slept too much last night, like 10 hours, so I'm tired from oversleeping."
 
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I use meth in these circumstances weekly. The dumbest thing is probably engaging in conversation and the inability of avoiding explaining some new idea or concept you recently came up with.

I think one good one was about how its possible to automate the conformity of a their religious faith through modifying some mental thought processes in such a way that you dont need to even read the theory or the "book" at all but still automatically know everything beforehand in terms of aligning to the teachings. Its quite genius actually. They did not see it that way and declined my offer to teach them how to do this and save time over reading all the literature. I wasn't joking and was quite serious.

I admit its still an intriguing idea....
 
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Serotonin101 said:
shoulda saw the cops face when he caught a big whiff of burnt hair. lmao. it was priceless.
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We once got caught cleaning a massive amount, it was sitting on the bed in a big ass pile next to my buddy but his mom didnt even notice or query this glaring oddity.

Then another time my buddy burnt his ass hair with a lighter since he doesnt like ass hair and when she came home and smelt it she went off about us smoking weed. And then of course the truth sounds like a lame coverup. It was an irksome situation.

Strange woman.
 
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