MsSoberRecovery
Greenlighter
- Joined
- Mar 1, 2013
- Messages
- 11
These posts have gotten me through many a day & night. I first wanted to send a site-wide THANK YOU for making this lonely time, wayyy less lonely.
And yes, I should INSTEAD be looking for work to dig myself out of this disgusting hole of debt I've fallen in due to an extensive Roxy, Morphine, Hydro habit for the last three years.
I've lost my job, my friends, any social inclinations whatsoever. It's definitely been the lowest times of my life. But, I cannot take care of business until I take care of me.
I started on a Suboxone program three weeks ago. Since then I've taken 8mg's two to three times a day. My doctor, who's not familiar w/addiction AT ALL, became a Suboxone doc, I'm guessing, for the extra income. His office is relentless when there's an appt scheduled. Which is why, I didn't understand why he dropped me from the program saying I was supposed to come back a WEEK after induction, even though he prescribed a month's worth of Suboxone. No one contacted me. Very weird.
Most upsetting is, I'd only opted for two weeks worth of Sub strips, due to the disgusting cost of the d*mn drug. So that's that.
He cut me off, coldly.
I never felt euphoric on Suboxone. You guys should also know, I've never gone through really bad W/D because I've found a way to make the pills happen OR the two times it could have been bad, I've taken loperemide to get me through to the next time I could hit The Spot.
Even before my Sub induction, the lope kept me in LOW, LOW w/d's and I was only grumpy because I wasn't feeling "right"... I took the Sub and didn't have precip w/d's and maintained fine off the Sub doses (which I now realize were high) for the last two weeks.
Now, not having the $ to do another induction w/a new Doc, and being cut off from my Doc, it's come into my mind and spirit that I truly want to be free of any of this thinking or lifestyle. Even if he called me today, or I manipulated my way back into his good graces.
I am wondering if anyone has had the experience tapering with ONE (or similar) 8mg Sub strip to ONLY loperamide tapering successfully w/little to no W/D's.
I'm not looking for an easy way out, because I know there is none, but I cannot afford (financially or mentally or physically), one day, one hour, one minute of being non-productive. I'm a single mother of two with bills up the a$$, a great resume, and must apply for the next step in my career before I'm homeless. I'm already surrounded by pink notices & my utilities close to getting cut off. I had no right to maintain such an expensive habit.
So here goes:
Day 1 - no Sub at all, no withdrawls: long half life
Day 2- .25 of Sub, six loperamide, simply-sleep, no w/d's great sleep
Day 3 (today)- grumpy as H*LL, arguing w/my tween daughter, .25 of Sub, six loperamide, no physical W/D's except an accelerated heart beat (which could be coffee intake which I'll reduce).
I need help moving into day 4, 5, 6, and especially that 7th and 8th day I read are horrible.
Also any supportive or positive experience w/helping to keep PAWS at a bearable level using this method.
Anyone?
I appreciate it. I'm lonely.
And yes, I should INSTEAD be looking for work to dig myself out of this disgusting hole of debt I've fallen in due to an extensive Roxy, Morphine, Hydro habit for the last three years.
I've lost my job, my friends, any social inclinations whatsoever. It's definitely been the lowest times of my life. But, I cannot take care of business until I take care of me.
I started on a Suboxone program three weeks ago. Since then I've taken 8mg's two to three times a day. My doctor, who's not familiar w/addiction AT ALL, became a Suboxone doc, I'm guessing, for the extra income. His office is relentless when there's an appt scheduled. Which is why, I didn't understand why he dropped me from the program saying I was supposed to come back a WEEK after induction, even though he prescribed a month's worth of Suboxone. No one contacted me. Very weird.
Most upsetting is, I'd only opted for two weeks worth of Sub strips, due to the disgusting cost of the d*mn drug. So that's that.
He cut me off, coldly.
I never felt euphoric on Suboxone. You guys should also know, I've never gone through really bad W/D because I've found a way to make the pills happen OR the two times it could have been bad, I've taken loperemide to get me through to the next time I could hit The Spot.
Even before my Sub induction, the lope kept me in LOW, LOW w/d's and I was only grumpy because I wasn't feeling "right"... I took the Sub and didn't have precip w/d's and maintained fine off the Sub doses (which I now realize were high) for the last two weeks.
Now, not having the $ to do another induction w/a new Doc, and being cut off from my Doc, it's come into my mind and spirit that I truly want to be free of any of this thinking or lifestyle. Even if he called me today, or I manipulated my way back into his good graces.
I am wondering if anyone has had the experience tapering with ONE (or similar) 8mg Sub strip to ONLY loperamide tapering successfully w/little to no W/D's.
I'm not looking for an easy way out, because I know there is none, but I cannot afford (financially or mentally or physically), one day, one hour, one minute of being non-productive. I'm a single mother of two with bills up the a$$, a great resume, and must apply for the next step in my career before I'm homeless. I'm already surrounded by pink notices & my utilities close to getting cut off. I had no right to maintain such an expensive habit.
So here goes:
Day 1 - no Sub at all, no withdrawls: long half life
Day 2- .25 of Sub, six loperamide, simply-sleep, no w/d's great sleep
Day 3 (today)- grumpy as H*LL, arguing w/my tween daughter, .25 of Sub, six loperamide, no physical W/D's except an accelerated heart beat (which could be coffee intake which I'll reduce).
I need help moving into day 4, 5, 6, and especially that 7th and 8th day I read are horrible.
Also any supportive or positive experience w/helping to keep PAWS at a bearable level using this method.
Anyone?
I appreciate it. I'm lonely.
