Hope this is the right section to post, I pretty much never ask for this kind of advice as I tend to be good at coming up with answers and solutions myself but I really am at a total loss here, I hope there's someone that can give me the answers/solutions I need. I'll try and keep it short and to the point.
I started using drugs regularly about a year ago at the age of 18, since then I tried pretty much everything, including IV. Before I started I hadn't tried anything, even though I hate to admit it I was the kind of person who looked down on people who had a glas of wine with their meal, this was only really due to my mothers brainwashing. When I tried alcohol at the age of 17 everything changed, I did my own research on the internet and found things aren't as bad as the propaganda I've been fed (went from Alcohol -> Cannabis -> You know the rest...). I was pretty depressed, quite severe social anxiety, got some "luggage" from the past as probably 95% people on here do. Anyway, I went from Alcohol to IV Heroin in something like 8 months, I'm doing pretty good now though, cannabis will probably always be in my life I don't see anything wrong with it and I do take the odd benso when things feel really heavy but I'm confident that I've been there done that for the most part. Sure I long for opiates a lot (some people are stimulant people, some people are benso people.. opiaties are what fills the void for me that nothing else can fill) but I have it under controll and that part of my life is over, it was an interesting year, I learnt a hell of a lot and I now understand what it's all about.
Anyway.. to my dilema. There's a person (a girl, ofcourse), same age as me, the same person who helped me get hold of stuff when I didn't have any connections. She was using quite a few years before me, around mid teens, nothing heavy early on though. I care a lot about this person, we actually started talking to each other online and don't live in the same city but we've met every now and then for the past year where we spend several days together in a row mainly doing drugs and we talk online almost daily. She is my only/best friend. I don't have any contact with my family so really she is the only person in my life I value. She is a bit more outgoing but claims I am her most valued friend. I've always known that she uses quite a lot but always thought she had it under controll, she's never been seriously physically addicted to anything. Well I recently found out it's a lot worse then I thought, not physicall addiction but very regular use of many different things, mainly a variety of pills, quite regular opiates, quite regular stimulant and some other stuff on and off. It is clearly getting way out of controll, or has been out of controll for over a year. She takes something (different all the time) every day virtually every day, maybe 5% of the days in a year she won't take something. I've been very careful and have never really confronted her but subtly suggesting that maybe she should try and cut down just a little, she won't listen. I've tried explaining what she is doing is going to lead to and honestly, I think she knows but doesn't care. She is very smart but just doesn't care, doesn't want to live. I've tried trying to find a root cause or problem assuming there must be something but haven't found anything. I know for a fact she is smart, she looks amazing (despite her heavy use it doesn't show at all), she comes from a wealthy family and has (from my perspectice) had everything she could ever want, every opportunity. Opportunitied I would of done anything to have. I've really tried trying to find out what's bothering her and she insist there's nothing specific. I believe her to an extent but at the same time can't believe someone would do what she is doing without having some pretty serious stuff you're trying to get away from. All I get is "everything is pointless.. hollow.. meaningless".. she is quite different from anyone I've ever met in many ways. Like me she doesn't connect well with other people, hard to trust people, shows virtually no emotion though probably comes across as quite normal but has some strange tendencies and thought processes.
I know you can't make someone quit that doesn't want to, my mother tried to do that and I know it just makes you hate the person, hence why I've been very cautious about the whole thing. I'm not even telling her to quit just to slow down a little bit but she is on a path of selfdestruction. I've tried everything I can think of, I've told her she can talk to me about anything and that she can trust me and I think she does to an extent, more so than anyone else. I've told her how much I care about her, told her I'd do anything for her, anything to help and I just get a sort of "whatever, I don't want anyone's help". I've suggested so many different things and nothing seems to come close to appealing to her, I just don't get it. She's spoken to psychriatists before (not out of choice but due to her parents initiative) and that didn't help.
Maybe there is something that she can't or doesn't want to tell me about, I've had several theories and speculated a lot but don't want to confront her about things so all I've done is to make sure she knows she can talk to me about anything and that she can trust me. I've told her almost everything about myself to show that I trust her which I thought maybe would help her open up but so far nothing. It's not that I want to know what's bothering her, ofcourse I'm curious but it doesn't really matter. I just want her to be happy and if she carries on she is without a doubt going to be permanently fucked up. If people want to use drugs I really don't mind but as her closest friend I feel it's all on me. I am the only one who knows the extent of her drug use and I can never tell anyone (and I never would) because that would be betraying her trust, which I will not do. so I have to try and do something but I don't know what. I rack my brain constantly trying to come up with a solution but it's impossible, the fact that it's hard to talk to her about these sort of things makes it even harder (I'm afraid of pissing her off) but I know her well enough now to be able to express my concerns very firmly but not coming across as I'm trying to lecture her or controll her. I need to stay on her good side. Giving her some sort of ultimatum would be pointless, if I told her to cut down or we would have to stop being friends she would forget about me straightaway, not because she doesn't value my friendship or anything like that but just because she won't let hersef be controlled, or maybe because she just doesn't care, to be honest I don't know. She never really gives reasons but I always know how she is going to behave or what she is going to do in certain situations/circumstances.. it's strange..
So yeah this is hard, I'm never really in a position where I don't know what to do but I am at a 100% total loss here. I thought maybe someone here had been in a similar situation and gotten out of it or know someone that got out of it. I don't expect to find an answer here but I figured its worth a shot, I know the problem is probably more psychology related than drug related but they go quite well together. I'm not trying to get her to quit I just want her to slow down. Even if the root of the problem isn't solved it doesn't really matter for now because if she carries on I'm pretty sure it's going to lead to irreversible damage.. the thought of which fills me with sadness to an extent that nothing else has ever come close to doing.
I started using drugs regularly about a year ago at the age of 18, since then I tried pretty much everything, including IV. Before I started I hadn't tried anything, even though I hate to admit it I was the kind of person who looked down on people who had a glas of wine with their meal, this was only really due to my mothers brainwashing. When I tried alcohol at the age of 17 everything changed, I did my own research on the internet and found things aren't as bad as the propaganda I've been fed (went from Alcohol -> Cannabis -> You know the rest...). I was pretty depressed, quite severe social anxiety, got some "luggage" from the past as probably 95% people on here do. Anyway, I went from Alcohol to IV Heroin in something like 8 months, I'm doing pretty good now though, cannabis will probably always be in my life I don't see anything wrong with it and I do take the odd benso when things feel really heavy but I'm confident that I've been there done that for the most part. Sure I long for opiates a lot (some people are stimulant people, some people are benso people.. opiaties are what fills the void for me that nothing else can fill) but I have it under controll and that part of my life is over, it was an interesting year, I learnt a hell of a lot and I now understand what it's all about.
Anyway.. to my dilema. There's a person (a girl, ofcourse), same age as me, the same person who helped me get hold of stuff when I didn't have any connections. She was using quite a few years before me, around mid teens, nothing heavy early on though. I care a lot about this person, we actually started talking to each other online and don't live in the same city but we've met every now and then for the past year where we spend several days together in a row mainly doing drugs and we talk online almost daily. She is my only/best friend. I don't have any contact with my family so really she is the only person in my life I value. She is a bit more outgoing but claims I am her most valued friend. I've always known that she uses quite a lot but always thought she had it under controll, she's never been seriously physically addicted to anything. Well I recently found out it's a lot worse then I thought, not physicall addiction but very regular use of many different things, mainly a variety of pills, quite regular opiates, quite regular stimulant and some other stuff on and off. It is clearly getting way out of controll, or has been out of controll for over a year. She takes something (different all the time) every day virtually every day, maybe 5% of the days in a year she won't take something. I've been very careful and have never really confronted her but subtly suggesting that maybe she should try and cut down just a little, she won't listen. I've tried explaining what she is doing is going to lead to and honestly, I think she knows but doesn't care. She is very smart but just doesn't care, doesn't want to live. I've tried trying to find a root cause or problem assuming there must be something but haven't found anything. I know for a fact she is smart, she looks amazing (despite her heavy use it doesn't show at all), she comes from a wealthy family and has (from my perspectice) had everything she could ever want, every opportunity. Opportunitied I would of done anything to have. I've really tried trying to find out what's bothering her and she insist there's nothing specific. I believe her to an extent but at the same time can't believe someone would do what she is doing without having some pretty serious stuff you're trying to get away from. All I get is "everything is pointless.. hollow.. meaningless".. she is quite different from anyone I've ever met in many ways. Like me she doesn't connect well with other people, hard to trust people, shows virtually no emotion though probably comes across as quite normal but has some strange tendencies and thought processes.
I know you can't make someone quit that doesn't want to, my mother tried to do that and I know it just makes you hate the person, hence why I've been very cautious about the whole thing. I'm not even telling her to quit just to slow down a little bit but she is on a path of selfdestruction. I've tried everything I can think of, I've told her she can talk to me about anything and that she can trust me and I think she does to an extent, more so than anyone else. I've told her how much I care about her, told her I'd do anything for her, anything to help and I just get a sort of "whatever, I don't want anyone's help". I've suggested so many different things and nothing seems to come close to appealing to her, I just don't get it. She's spoken to psychriatists before (not out of choice but due to her parents initiative) and that didn't help.
Maybe there is something that she can't or doesn't want to tell me about, I've had several theories and speculated a lot but don't want to confront her about things so all I've done is to make sure she knows she can talk to me about anything and that she can trust me. I've told her almost everything about myself to show that I trust her which I thought maybe would help her open up but so far nothing. It's not that I want to know what's bothering her, ofcourse I'm curious but it doesn't really matter. I just want her to be happy and if she carries on she is without a doubt going to be permanently fucked up. If people want to use drugs I really don't mind but as her closest friend I feel it's all on me. I am the only one who knows the extent of her drug use and I can never tell anyone (and I never would) because that would be betraying her trust, which I will not do. so I have to try and do something but I don't know what. I rack my brain constantly trying to come up with a solution but it's impossible, the fact that it's hard to talk to her about these sort of things makes it even harder (I'm afraid of pissing her off) but I know her well enough now to be able to express my concerns very firmly but not coming across as I'm trying to lecture her or controll her. I need to stay on her good side. Giving her some sort of ultimatum would be pointless, if I told her to cut down or we would have to stop being friends she would forget about me straightaway, not because she doesn't value my friendship or anything like that but just because she won't let hersef be controlled, or maybe because she just doesn't care, to be honest I don't know. She never really gives reasons but I always know how she is going to behave or what she is going to do in certain situations/circumstances.. it's strange..
So yeah this is hard, I'm never really in a position where I don't know what to do but I am at a 100% total loss here. I thought maybe someone here had been in a similar situation and gotten out of it or know someone that got out of it. I don't expect to find an answer here but I figured its worth a shot, I know the problem is probably more psychology related than drug related but they go quite well together. I'm not trying to get her to quit I just want her to slow down. Even if the root of the problem isn't solved it doesn't really matter for now because if she carries on I'm pretty sure it's going to lead to irreversible damage.. the thought of which fills me with sadness to an extent that nothing else has ever come close to doing.
