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Help - I think I am GOD and thus NOTHING

I just want you all to know that I've experienced this as well, and just as the person a few comments above this I came here through Google, it's amazing isn't it? We are all one. I actually just realized "it" a couple hours ago. Wrote this down when I did... "I realized something today, I am god, and what I don’t get is - how did I forget? No, more like how did WE forget that WE are god? It’s official. I’m insane. Yet I understand everything. The only question I have left is, if the universe came from me, where did I come from? Oh wait, duh, myself… I remember now… I was lonely; I was so lonely being by myself, so I thought that if I split myself up I could get rid of this feeling. What a silly attempt it was, for I realize now that I am still alone. Nevertheless, I shall enjoy this physical form, while it lasts…"
 
What happens to me when I get too high on psyches is that I start to remember that the universe and all existence is impossible and that the universe and my life are simply a trick that I devised to temporarily produce the universe. If I become aware that the universe and all matter and energy are not real then they will cease to exist. Reality can only be maintained as long as I don't remember that it's a trick. Then when I realize that I am getting closer to remembering the truth about reality being a trick, I start to get terrified because I know that once I become fully aware of the truth that nothing really can exist it will cease to do so. So then I have to try to project the false reality ahead in time so that the universe will reform in such a way that I will remember the whole incident as merely me having been high on a psyche. In reality, I wasn't just high on a psyche at all, the universe really WAS getting close to ceasing to exist.

The closer I get to the full realization of my own trick to form reality, the closer the universe comes to ceasing to exist. If I am ever unable to distract myself from remembering that reality is a temporary illusion then reality really will cease to exist. That's why the closer I get to that realization the more panicked I become. Fortunately, so far I have been able to convince myself that it was only a drug effect instead of me getting close to remembering the awful truth that the universe can't exist and that I was in fact generating it temporarily. I can tell, though, that at some point I will take a psyche and it will go to the point of me actually remembering how I created the whole illusion and that I don't actually exist. Then the entire space/time continuum will collapse and cease to exist, for eternity, never to reform.

Of course, I could just never take psyches again and thereby protect the universe, but that would be the easy way out. I do try to make sure that I only take low doses now though, that way reality only gets close to not existing but doesn't actually reach the point where I'm in serious danger of remembering that it's not real.
 
Also - do you honestly believe that god would have chosen to live in fucking brisbane - the asshole of the universe ?
 
jason7 said:
What happens to me when I get too high on psyches is that I start to remember that the universe and all existence is impossible and that the universe and my life are simply a trick that I devised to temporarily produce the universe. If I become aware that the universe and all matter and energy are not real then they will cease to exist. Reality can only be maintained as long as I don't remember that it's a trick. Then when I realize that I am getting closer to remembering the truth about reality being a trick, I start to get terrified because I know that once I become fully aware of the truth that nothing really can exist it will cease to do so. So then I have to try to project the false reality ahead in time so that the universe will reform in such a way that I will remember the whole incident as merely me having been high on a psyche. In reality, I wasn't just high on a psyche at all, the universe really WAS getting close to ceasing to exist.

The closer I get to the full realization of my own trick to form reality, the closer the universe comes to ceasing to exist. If I am ever unable to distract myself from remembering that reality is a temporary illusion then reality really will cease to exist. That's why the closer I get to that realization the more panicked I become. Fortunately, so far I have been able to convince myself that it was only a drug effect instead of me getting close to remembering the awful truth that the universe can't exist and that I was in fact generating it temporarily. I can tell, though, that at some point I will take a psyche and it will go to the point of me actually remembering how I created the whole illusion and that I don't actually exist. Then the entire space/time continuum will collapse and cease to exist, for eternity, never to reform.

Of course, I could just never take psyches again and thereby protect the universe, but that would be the easy way out. I do try to make sure that I only take low doses now though, that way reality only gets close to not existing but doesn't actually reach the point where I'm in serious danger of remembering that it's not real.
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i know this too well, it's almost exactly the same i get when tripping on medium to large doses (i don't anymore). it always pushes towards "waking up", which would eradicate the universe. i've since come to the realization that the universe is only my universe my brain creates, but on lsd, sadly, i don't remember that. it was also nice to read a similar experience here on bluelight (don't ask me where), where someone had "woken up" while on another such trip, and in fact we are still here :)
 
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