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  • EADD Moderators: Pissed_and_messed | Shinji Ikari

MDPV Megathread 9: The thrill of the chase

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Several days and no updates to the PV thread??? How are all my fellow fiends doing?

I'm feeling about 100 percent, best of all no real cravings. I seem to have drug dreams a lot though. Kind of sucks when you wake up from a dream thinking you got a big ol' bag of peevee and then you realize it's all fantasy and cravings on a deep subconscious level :/

As long as I keep busy though I hardly think about it at all, just when I sleep, hehe.
 
Ive been waking up lately with a hangover like feeling. Usually it happens after a full nights rest (noticed it never happens unless I sleep over 3/4 hours) and usually only after a day of heavy pv use. The hangover feeling resembles an alcohol hangover in just about every way shape and form (except I don't drink these days at all). The longer i sleep the worse the feeling is leading me to believe its related to metabolism of pv.

Drinking water helps to alleviate the symptoms but nothing except the passage of time completely cures it.
 
QuasiStoned said:
I seem to have drug dreams a lot though. Kind of sucks when you wake up from a dream thinking you got a big ol' bag of peevee and then you realize it's all fantasy and cravings on a deep subconscious level :/
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I get that, it's a terrible way to start the day because after dreaming about it I wake up and then it's playing on my mind all damn day from the off.
 
2-dpmp was much worse in the psychosis stakes imo, that is something i will probably never take ever again even if it was given to me. fucked up anxiety for the next 2-3 days, with really strong flashbacks
 
Never gave 2dpmp a shot for the specific reason that it seems to last way too fucking long for recreational use. Speeding fordays on a single dose sounds not so great!
 
Agree with Adam, 2dpmp psychosis wasn't like a psychotic episode for me, it was real, very real, whereas with pv I always had (albeit a very loose) handle on it, without doubt pv can get you really, really messed up but I have never experienced anything close to what I experienced on 2dpmp with pv even using it for a much, much longer periods of time.

Scrooloose I can't see Shambles agreeing with that in all honesty ;)
 
One major difference I note between apvp and mdpv is that apvp gave me scarce few psychosis symptoms, even after days of reckless (ab)use. Mdpv would always start getting crazy after a night of missed sleep. I miss that wild manic euphoria that went hand in hand with mdpv psychosis. It's just not there with apvp, it lacks that sophistication of mdpv. Freebase apvp though *laughs* That was some crazy shit. Too fucking much for me, I'd be homeless if I kept a lot of apvp around and started playing with the baking soda again.
 
Shite this binge was wild for me, ended af few days ago, i even trashed some, had to, could have lost my gf, and I tould my family everything about my past few years fuckin with drugs, not takin my medicin and just been a liar. I am in a mental clinic or what you call it right now lol, i can walk out from here if I want to but dno I need it since i got ocd, anxiety, add and borderline personality disorder, so thinks it time for me to get some help.. Some info about my binge, not all but some: The first few days of the binge was lovely man. Then some crazy ass paranoia started and got some insane audio visuals and hallus<-cant resembes how to spell it right now but guess you guys now what i mean.. The first things I started to see was cool enough, like giant monsters runnin around outside, the whole parking spot was a sandstormy with red sky and thunder all over and a lot other stuff. But when your gf start s to say only evil stuff to you a whole night, and i knew it was audio visuals so i gave her my phone and said write something, and there is still sayin something evil. Then i thought, ok she is just a bitch. She would not go. I was on my knees beggin her to stop shouting, not to say there is coming guys to fuck her while i was all out of my self so i could watch it, and so on. Then sirens started, people jumpin in my house, doors knockin, lights came in from windows, and she just laughed, i was ready man took a knife, just sittin waiting, i knew it just was the psychosis, but when my gf was like that, it was like it maybe could be true? The hours went pass, i was more calm, we got out to get a cig then i could see her face, she had cryid all night, and i could understand her now, she told me i was out of myself and i was not answer her the whole might, she had tried to calm me down. It fuckin was pure audio and visuals man. There i trashed the rest. I really didnt wanted too, but had to show her what is most importent for me. Sorry for the messy post i am on a phone. Fuck my life, i miss the pv i trashed, it sounds so idiotic, but i do.
 
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Bad news, Nicklazz :(

That really did seem to spin outta control - that's some heavy-duty hallucinations you had going on there. I rarely get full-on "realistic" visual hallucinations like that (afaik anyway). Only ever really cartoonish kinda stuff (Space Invader Galaxian Invasions and the like) and know damn well they're not real no matter how far gone I am. Police lights are not what anybody needs to be hallucinating whilst in acute paranoid psychosis. That coulda gone horribly wrong - picking up a knife?!? That's really not good. I can't possibly know exactly what your were thinking or believing at that moment so can't say for sure I'd never do anything like that but if I found out later that I did I think I would have to seriously consider staying away from peev and anything like it. As Ben said a coupla pages back: It's all fun and games until somebody has an eye out. Thankfully it didn't go quite that far - but scaring the shit out your girlfriend and being taken into temporary psychiatric care is quite bad enough for all concerned I'm sure :(

On the bright side, it really could've been so much worse. At least nobody was actually hurt and you now know what happened (not a guarantee with severe psychotic breaks to see and accept what happened so soon so great news that you have and do) and you are making the wise choice of taking the psychiatric help provided. It sounds like you came back to Earth with one helluva bump but at least you landed in a place where you can pick up most - if maybe not all - of the pieces. I think you're definitely making the right choice in accepting the inpatient treatment at a time when you seem to know yourself it's for the best. Hopefully this should help ground you properly so you can get back on your feet <3

Trashing your place may seem bad now - and it's not great tbh - but they're only things and things can be replaced, fixed, changed. How about your girlfriend? How is she now you've come back to yourself? It sounds like she was well aware it was a drug situation that went too far and was as supportive as she could be til things got outta control. This sounds pretty positive to me. I'd suspect taking time to talk it all through with the doctors (for the mental health side - especially with having known underlying mental health issues (OCD, anxiety, etc)) and everything with your girlfriend. Sounds to me like a situation that went downhill steeply and rapidly - a horrible and terrifying experience for you both - but a situation that what's really important to you both is entirely salvagable. It may not necessarily feel that way in the immediate aftermath but Good Things can come from this.

Look after yourself, take it steady, take the help on offer and things will get better and brighter with time <3
 
take care nick you never did say how much you went through or how long for. i am probably going to be just taking 1 or 2 doses per day if/when i decide to resume my mind exploration. sorry to hear the bad times you had, just give it a break for a while.

shame on you for flushing though, you could have sent it it to me ;)
favour still stands by the way mate :)
 
There just doesn't seem to be any way to hide this shit from friends and family. I discussed how f'd up I was after my last apvp binge but what I don't discuss is how close I am to getting kicked the fuck out of my house if I keep this shit up.

I can't blame my mom for wanting to kick me to the curb when I go off the deep end vaping apvp. I was coherent no psychosis ('cept some muttering when I was trying to sleep, I always seem to get that) but I looked a mess for sure and could hardly keep it together. God forbid if something serious should ever come up and I was off my face like that I'd be useless.

Heh I remember my first gram of mdpv back in the day lasted a few weeks and no one really knew what I was doing. Those days are so fucking gone it's ridiculous.

Glad you made it back in one piece NickLazz. It's way too much to keep a handle on sometimes using pyrovalerones.

I've been completely sober since my PV expedition. Got a blend shipping out tomorrow but I can keep a modest handle on myself with those. I'm avoiding apvp like the plague. Time always seems to chisel at my defenses, I'm sure in a few months I'll be genuinely considering "one more" go. Ha. But for now, no way!
 
Weird you mentioning the mumbling in your sleep thing, my missus used to go potty about it, apparently once I had run out or just completely passed out from being up for days/weeks I would growl, spit, shout, scream and all sorts in my sleep. She used to shake me awake shouting at me to stop, she said I would be like a demon and she hated it. I had no idea I had blacked out but it would make me more anxious about finally giving in. Near the end of my pv days I found etizolam would stop that freakish behaviour. Didn't stop all the madness before I finally passed out though :\

I thought it was only me that happened to.
 
Oh yeah man I would get that all the time after a few days of no sleep. I wasn't aware I was doing it but sometimes I'd be yelled at to shut up and I'd vaguely realize I had been talking or moaning or something. It's like I wasn't really sleeping, more of a delirium I guess. Only would happen when I'd throw in the towel and finally lay down for a while.

God I have never had the benefit of having some benzos around on a PV run. Phenazepam ruined my life, I try to avoid benzos at all costs. Etizolam would probably be okay since it doesn't have that ridiculous half life but I have some phenazepam horror stories and benzos scare me. So much stupid costly shit done on phenazepam, oh man.
 
Occasional Mrs Shambles had her licence suspended for crashing into a tree (at all of about 2mph :D) the one time she tried phenaz. No idea how much she took but was - frankly - a complete mess for a good week or two. Never tried the stuff, probably never will. Am scripted diazepam and temazepam though and generally make judicious use of 'em the first coupla days of a run when the uberstimulation can turn a tad panicky due to sheer intensity at times. Oddly enough, it never really occurs to me to take 'em during the latter stages of a run. Think I'm just too locked into fiend mode and would just think it was wasting peev to combine 'em.

Am not sure about the sleepsounds stuff - I almost always lock meself up alone behind closed doors on a run - but wouldn't be at all surprised.
 
Heh I toyed with phenazepam maybe 10 times in my life. On half of those occasions awful things happened.

Some highlights: First time I took it I slept for 16 hours then fell down the stairs and busted my head on a statue at the bottom landing and put a hole in the drywall.

Once in opiate withdrawal I had awful insomnia and took tons of phenazepam and still couldn't sleep. Decided to throw in some 1,4 BDO (prodrug for GHB, kind of like GBL I guess but probably nastier and unhealthy) and passed out. Woke up to the paramedics and police in my room. I mostly blame the BDO but combining two sedative was such a bad idea. I just wanted some sleep and to get away from that hell for a while :(

I had a couple of uneventful experiences where my friends said I was totally fuxx0red but at least I didn't do anything stupid. I DID share some with a friend and he fucked up his dads truck and got sent home from work THE DAY AFTER we did it. Still feel bad about that. But the worst was yet to come....

The last time I took phenazepam I totalled my car and lost my license for 18 months. I had taken 2 vicodins and the lights were out in my head. I drove into another County and was completely lost. I finally smashed into the median on a highway, I'm so lucky I didn't hurt anyone just fucked up my car. That was my 2nd DUI and I tested positive for both the opiates and benzos. I haven't driven in like 3 years thanks to that incident and must have spent 10 grand in fines, lawyer fees, and drug treatment.

Fuck you phenazepam, fuck you.
 
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