Up until New Years I was regularly taking Speed/Cocaine (although not of the greatest purity)/Lots of MDMA/Alcohol/Ketamine as my main party drugs off the top of my head very regular but what is also seeming to be on-off regular valium use which and can't help become daily and went through 2 grams of 2C-B quite quickly. However on New Years my head got completely fried and I clicked on that the combination above just wasn't good for my general health, I started getting chest pains etc and paranoid as I was also a daily weed smoker for 4 years. For any BLrs that have spoken/know me I'm quite young so these aren't what you want. So I really tried to cut down.
I stayed off drugs for 2 weeks bar the odd small, small toke of a pipe and a 2l of cider maybe 2-3 times in that period (the rebound anxiety/depression of a hangover) is quite bad for me. I also went on beta blockers as I started getting extreme shakes and the whole fight/flight but these affected my blood pressure too much and I couldn't exercise as intensely and didn't like it especially as I take lots of uppers. So I now have instant releases which I'll just take whenever I get that feeling.
Since Thursday I've had about 5 psychedelic trips and I know that it was stupid but I get trapped in complete ruts and seem to just try and keep taking drugs to counter-act them. But obviously once it all wears off it comes back ten times worse. I just can't take any more of these valium as they are making me worse off and I know it, but there is some DHCs here I can take which sound perfect as I'd just love something to numb my head for a few hours like I'd use weed/valium for but not end up anxious afterwards or head fried for the next few days.
I understand I've used this thread as like a fucking depressing diary for the past few months, but I've honestly nowhere to vent as I don't like talking about things in person nor do I feel I have many people I could trust in real life to vent this stuff off to.
Well, I think you needa take another break, without the DHC, I can imagine it wouldn't help in the long run, they'd probably just waste more of your dopamine.
It's hard being in a depressed mind state, much harder than a lot of people seem to realise, it's probably the complete lack of motivation that makes it even harder because to feel better about everything you needa do things that make you feel good (that don't include drugs because, sadly, they make things worse in the long run).
Have you tried exercising much recently? Or do you have many hobbies?
you do mixing and stuff don't you?
If you're taking enough blues to need a taper, maybe try and start the taper now, and if you take each drop in dose as a goal it could help make you feel better about the whole thing.
There's no denying it's gonna be difficult, but it's the only way out of the rut. We're all here for ya
I've had this before.
I didn't end up going for a proper "M.O.T" about it but yea, it was a dull, aching pain that ran all the way down my left arm which lasted for about 4 days or so.
I suspected it being a trapped nerve because of the.... infact pain might not be the right word but in a way it is...
But also my muscles felt extremely weak on my shoulder.
If it doesn't go away after a week then go see yer GP and get a referral just to be sure. Hope you feel better mate
Haha, don't think it calls for measures quite
that drastic. I get it all the time, it's come and gone a few times today in both arms. It's nearly gone completely for today, but it'll probably come back in a few days time. It's just annoying that it makes practicing guitar near impossible, but I have performances I needa prepare for!
