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☮ Social ☮ PD Social: Nexus for gibberish of the psychedelicized genius and veritably insane

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i saw that same thing tonight too, i found his bl profile! he still logs in, last online 3 days ago, all 220 posts he made are about mdpv almost,
 
I think I will prob take some mushrooms tomorrow for the first time in 3-4 years. I have a gram of cyanescens but will only be taking 1/2 grams since cyanescens are a very potent species of mushroom. I have be going though allot of stress, axiety, and personal problems lately but have been doing somewhat better the past few days so I think I should be fine. I will be mixing ketamine with the mushrooms which should help out with some of the anxiety. I might even have a chance to tackle some of my problems.
 
SONN said:
Quantum physics is now kind of a touchy subject for me :/ but I enjoy hearing most people's interpretations.
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Particle physics/cosmology and all that heavy stuff has reached an end-point for me. I found the paradoxes and circular thoughts my mind would get caught up in to simply get annoying, and so I've chosen to ignore it and let physicists who enjoy mental anguish to have at it. ;)

Solipsis said:
I very much like Robert Pirsig's realizations
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Ah yes. As a backyard mechanic motorcyclist myself I very much enjoyed 'Zen and the art of motorcycle mechanics'. Nothing quite like working on a bike or taking nice ride through the backroads to clear the psychological tangles and free your thoughts. When I read that book I understood the essence of what he was talking about and how he uses motorcycles to reach a state of meditation, that he was now a person post-breakdown, but I still don't quite have a grasp on who the hell Phaedrus was.

Jesusgreen said:
Woo, trying Poppy Seed Tea today for the first time with 500g of some nice seeds :D Will be my first experience with anything Morphine-containing. I'm excited to see how it compares to Codeine and Buprenorphine.
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I hope it went well. I don't do by weight, I just take a volume; 150mL of seeds seems to work well. I find it more stimulating and 'dirty' than pharm codeine, but it's stronger. The last few times I've been using a piece of silkscreen as a filter because I found coffee filters got clogged and took forever on gravity filtration. The problem with silkscreen that I think makes the effect more 'dirty' is the mold spores that get through. I've found poppy seeds are LOADED with spores. A filter cake left for even just a night at room temp will start smelling funky and might even show some growth.
When you do your washes, do them quick, don't let it sit between washes.

I think I'm going to go back to coffee filters anyway, seemed easier on the gut, with a cleaner high.

Codeine is always a cleaner high for me though, unfortunately I think my SSRI is a CYP2D6 inhibitor; codeine doesn't work as well as it used to.

I got a really bad flu a few weeks ago that gave me some nice anxiety attacks. It was a ridiculous flu though. My head felt completely pressurized, I was dizzy, my ears were ringing, weakness, no appetite, hot/cold flashes, super dry skin (acne disappeared), and even though I was drinking lots of water I maybe pee'd once a day, and it wasn't much. It was like being anemic. Being sick like that is scary, you feel like you just want to be given a big shot of morphine so you can get a break.
Codeine just didn't work for me.

The SSRI also gives me jaw clenching that hasn't gone away after a month of use, and lately some incredibly intense, vivid dreams. About 2 hours after waking up I'll be thinking; "wait, that didn't actually happen."
The good effect is lower baseline anxiety than I used to have.
But the big effect that I'd read about, but it didn't seem common enough or that I'd be lucky enough to get, is the virtually complete loss of my speech impediment. Yeah, my life-long severe 'block' of a stutter is gone. :)
 
^Glad the SSRI is doing you some good psox.

Good luck Phenny, you're not the only one indulging in dissociatives. Got a bottle of grape and a bottle of orange syrup, figured I might as well since they have the palatable flavors. And I had eaten some grapefruit earlier today too (just because it is delicious). I know this dose (a bit over 700mg) hasn't done anything interesting for me in a long time, but I'm feeling lucky.

Addendum- State dependent memooooooooory~:So my comeup was pretty uncomfortable which I liked, but I remember where I used to be at this point of the experience, why I liked it so much. The confusing, warm, electric swells of space-time-soul ripping through me body and mind, the feelings and Jimi overwhelming my dissembled ego. Think those numinous states are imprinted somewhere in my mind, which why I have the relationship with these drugs, in spite of how incredibly rare fulfilling experiences have become (I had what, one last year?). Don't think I could hold down three bottles of this stuff, maybe extraction someday.

Wish I wasn't wishing I had cannabinoids though, that'd make it lovely. At least there's some real dissociation. Some warm dreamy nauseous roboitch.

Random thoughts: I can be you, even if there's no you for me to be. For once I feel like me.
 
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Let me describe the level of dissociation felt:

I have been walking for a long time, and stop in the cool, clinging humidity. Standing still a light breeze passes over me, gently pressing against me and sliding between my fingers. I close my eyes, inhale, and smell salt-water. A wistful smile, a sigh, and I walk on. Though pulled towards the ocean that is so close, I cannot even catch a glimpse of it through the hills and forests between us.

EDIT:Heheheheee. Wasn't done coming up. Was lying down feeling warm and comfortable (DXM is truly the most peaceful dissociative, makes you feel at home) with my eyes closed, and rhapsody in blue comes on. It's like beauty stabbed my soul.

edit edit:Trip over, this is the most coherent I've been exiting the experience so I'd kinda like to record it. It's the biggest problem with the drug.

So I'm in my comforting dream-land, then things start to become more hectic/confused, with more intense bodyload, with the nausea and a throbbing in my head increasing as my mind is stretched until....Vomit vomit vomit. Then I'm instantly sober/hungover. It used to be quite nightmarish, and though it still sucked I am functional at least.
 
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Captain.Heroin said:
DMT in itself is very powerful, I am not sure if I would ever try 5-meo-DMT.
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FWIW, I found 5-meo-DMT to be more powerful but inferior to DMT. At breakthrough dose I couldn't remember anything about the experience anyway. Utterly useless! It was like being blind drunk for half an hour with a mild afterglow as opposed to hangover.

Hello PDers. Hope all is well. I'm taking a fairly substantial break from psychedelics or drugs in general (well that's what I tell myself anyway) because it seems very likely I have Borderline Personality Disorder. It's really starting to ruin stuff. For those who are unfamiliar with it, the Wikipedia article is well sourced and actually contains the most useful information in one place.

Edit: NKB, I found DXM to be lovely. I found it rather euphoric too which is an effect I don't get from most dissociatives.
 
Hello PD! Just wanted to say "Hi!" I heard from another BLer that this forum has a lot of smart people I can learn from. Haven't done much in the form of psychedelic drugs, but I've been wanting to do LSD again..haven't done it since the 90's. This isn't an invitation to random strangers lol...just been toying with the idea of finding it. I'm having a hard time finding someone who will do it with me, because the two people I can even talk to about it say they had really bad trips. Interestingly, both these guys are the bad boy types who ran with some really shady people, had some really bad pasts, and turned it around several years ago. Me, I'm just happy and positive IRL most of the time..maybe that's why I always enjoyed it.

Anyway, I probably won't post much, but I'll be reading some posts. I heard that there's some awesome info in here by some really smart people.
 
Hello Lysis. I love PD. Welcome! We have the best posters and the best mods, but I'm really only into psychedelics and when I come to BL I rarely stray into other forums so I'm sort of biased ;). But it cannot be denied there's a bunch of lovely people round 'ere.

LSD is amazing and despite being a bugger to source is well worth the effort IMO.
 
hey lysis. always liked your posts over in SLR..

LSD... ah, the wondrful memories it provides.... that is, the times it allows you to remember :)
 
Welcome lysis!

And Special K, although I've mentioned this multiple times by now 2001: a space odyssey is my favorite movie of all time and I imagine going into a k-hole as the 'Jupiter and beyond the infinite' sequence begins would be a pretty intense experience.

On Friday I bought myself a case of blue moon (my fav beer) and drank a lot of it and blacked out and called up my ex gf and said some awful things to her lol and I don't really regret all that much of it. Then the next morning when I was brutally hungover I had an extremely vivid dream where I almost became lucid because I kept noticing strange things happening (such as me randomly feeling very drunk for moments at a time throughout the dream) and actually making note of them in the dream and mentioning it to the people in my dream. I also had like 5 false awakenings. I think I may be able to go fully lucid soon and do some cloud surfing hopefully.
 
lysis said:
I'm having a hard time finding someone who will do it with me,
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Why not do it by yourself?

SONN said:
I also had like 5 false awakenings.
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Those are always interesting. In the post experience quasi-dream time last I got in these weird loop of becoming mentally coherent for half a minute or so then I kept having the same dream over and over again. Like 10 times. Don't really remember the content though, also mental dissociation played into it, I had like psychic powers or some shit in a number of my dream scenarios. I hope you attain full lucidity soon, it's always interesting.

splitz said:
Hello PDers. Hope all is well. I'm taking a fairly substantial break from psychedelics or drugs in general (well that's what I tell myself anyway) because it seems very likely I have Borderline Personality Disorder. It's really starting to ruin stuff. For those who are unfamiliar with it, the Wikipedia article is well sourced and actually contains the most useful information in one place.

Edit: NKB, I found DXM to be lovely. I found it rather euphoric too which is an effect I don't get from most dissociatives.
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Are you considering seeing a therapist, if you don't already? I think taking a break from recreational drug use/self-medication and going legitimate in treatment is always a good idea. It's not like the drugs are going anywhere.

And DXM is indeed lovely, it lacks that manic edge the arylcyclohexylamines have, it's not trying to take me places, but lets me get all comfy and let go Of course the side effects profile is pretty gnarly, I don't think that's a problem if it's something you only do occasionally though.

I did finally understand for a second why some people don't enjoy dissociatives though. I've never really been weighed down by attachments, but I was thinking about something, and can imagine how sucky one might find having the outer world (and finally themselves) dissolved into formless chaos if there were something you really didn't want to let go of.

Finally feeling something like baseline, openin' up a bottle of Paulaner hefe-weizen. And I hope I'm not the only one amused by the things that come out of my mouth on NMDA antagonists.
 
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This talk of lucid dreaming and strange states of sleep reminded me of when I had sleep paralysis. Literally the most terrifying experience. When you want to scream... but you can't. I found the experience very profound, I've had fearful experiences occasionally due to tripping, but this was uninvited, unexpected and overwhelming. Has anyone else had this?

NKB, yes I intend to see a therapist. I haven't been diagnosed yet, but I'm 99% sure this is what I have, so I'm going to make sure and then I'll have a way forward. I was looking for information on something else entirely, and stumbled across information about BPD (which many see as a shit name, and I can see why as it offers no insight into what it actually is, some would like it renamed to emotional dysregulation disorder or something like that which is much more appropriate). Anyway, each and every symptom and diagnostic criterion just sounded exactly like me. So I fully intend on trying to curb drug use (although impulse control is one of the traits, which explains why I'm crap with money and drink recklessly amongst other things).
 
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