Phase a lot of people who say they can't be happy without drugs/alcohol only give themselves a few days- two weeks sober and come to that conclusion. It takes time to enjoy sobriety, it took me around 60 days before the fog cleared and I started realizing that my efforts to get sober weren't in vain. For the first time in 10 years I feel truly free and alive. Getting sober changed my entire perspective on life. I realized how selfish and self-absorbed I had become. I truly saw myself, deeply, and it upset me so much that I reached out to God begging him to change me. Deep down I was a jealous hateful person that didn't give a rip about other people, even my Mom and other family members. I realized I found satisfaction in next to nothing, and had to keep drinking/using everyday just to feel relief. I was trapped. I had habits that controlled me and I used meth, cocaine and other uppers which led to massive panick attacks and ER visits. Why would I put myself through that? Because something within me was not right.
I'll promise you this. If you want an amazing high and a journey unlike anything you've ever experienced put down the meth pipe and start discovering who you are and what your capable of. Start with very small achievable steps like going on a walk, saving some money, giving a compliment to someone. And just keep at it day after day. The longer you stay sober the more revelations will come to you and your perspective will change. You will come alive and the lights will turn on. You'll start thinking about what you want to do with your life and who you want to be. You'll maybe even realize that your life isn't near as bad as it seemed, it was just your messed up perception from the drugs telling you that you wanted to die.
Please don't sell yourself short. Don't let the drugs/demons/evil forces that are leading you to want to kill yourself win. If your at the point of killing yourself why not give God a chance to save you? If you don't believe in God then test him. Pray out and say "God, I don't believe in you. But just for the hell of it I'm going to ask you to save me. If you care about me or if your true, then prove it to me." TC can you please do this for me before you next try to kill yourself? Please do this for me if you at all appreciate the support/help I'm trying to give you.
I ask you to do this because I believe only God can save us once we've reached the point you have. And you have nothing to loose by reaching upwards and outwards for help. God helped me, and now my life is overflowing with love, hope, healthy relationships, financial blessings, etc. You can have all of this also if you will only believe that God wants to give it to you. There is a God and he loves you. If you don't believe in God put him to the test. I think you'll be surprised at what he can do with his mighty hand. He is the Great Redeemer and is quick to rescue broken people and rebuild them and give them a blessed new life for his glory. Jesus saves.
