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have we damaged are brains or is this all a anxiety/stress issue?

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surfer179

Bluelighter
Joined
Aug 1, 2012
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as some of you know i too am going through one of the long comedowns of mdma, if you look at my post i made you will see the symptoms i had....

what i am wondering is if this is all anxiety/stress related and that we have triggered something off in our brains?, or have we done some actual damage to the brain when we were rolling ?
 
I was suffering that....now anxiety is fading away i feel....
My conclusion is not sure...i have this electricity in the brain that makes me thinking about something done in my head, but is fading away , or at least it seems to be like that.
I think is both of them, anxiety cause the scary of the feeling and something done with the dopamine serotonine system...but it seems to recover slowly, i hope one day 95% xDD
 
When was your last roll. How many total rolls have you had. Mdma causes a long lasting reorganization of your serotonin. Think of it as a huge tree with many branches, leaves etc. When you do a high to medium dose or doses of Mdma your cutting off some of those branches and leaves which are axonal connections.

They will come back with time. Most of the negatives your experiencing right now will clear up. Just give it time, you gotta be patient sometimes it takes months. I'm on a phone so I probably typed this out awkwardly. Ill probably touch up on this later.
 
In the beginning I was convinced it was brain damage. Now I am convinced it was anxiety. I am completely better and I credit my recovery with tackling my anxiety head on with healthy living, mindfulness, support on bl, keeping busy, and CBT.

Keep your chin up, you will get better, I promise. I was in a terrible place and was hopeless but I made it. You will too.
 
Yea I think alot of people's problems on here can be accounted through by anxiety and (not necessarily drug introduced) hypochondria. Everyone is affected by the adverse qualities of MD, but for whatever reason some people can just hold their shit together better, or just don't show it. Often BL makes it worse imo, i try to stay away.
 
oscthebooklad said:
Yea I think alot of people's problems on here can be accounted through by anxiety
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Isn't it weird that MDMA users have so much anxiety though?

What makes this question tough is that "brain damage" and "anxiety" might be referring to the same thing. Abusing MDMA can cause damage to neurons in the serotonin system. If your serontonin system is damaged, you're likely to experience anxiety, insomnia, etc. The good news is that over time, those damaged neurons can heal, at which point the anxiety, insomnia, etc. will also subside.

Now that's an extreme case, and I'm not saying it's necessarily what happened to the OP. I just feel it's worth pointing out that anxiety and brain damage aren't mutually exclusive. In fact, they may be causally connected.
 
There is some connection between MDMA use and a history of serotonin dysfunction such as depression, but it's not the case in all users.

I can say that my heavy use made me feel ungrounded for years and prone to depression. I was prone anyway but the heavy partying took a big toll.

The important thing to remember is that you can still recover by abstaining and leading a balanced life. Using rarely is not going to hurt you as much. I do MDMA maybe once or twice a year now max.
 
Clocktower said:
Isn't it weird that MDMA users have so much anxiety though?
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I don't think so. I think we just get a disproportionately large view of those suffering through BL, people in threads often exaggerate massively/cases can not be confirmed by medical professionals / mixed substances/ inherent mental dispositions etc etc. E is a massively used drug, the dark side of BL often falsely over-represents the potential negative downsides.

A bunch of internet crackheads with too much time of their hands can't properly diagnose SS or any other anxiety causing condition. Often they just make it much worse with their anecdotal sensationalism, I know I feel anxious looking on BL sometimes, but i know im fine.
 
It would be great if it turned out that I was just being a hypochondriac all along, and that i have simply been over thinking my way into this state. However, at least in my particular case, the obvious cognitive deficits that coincided with heavy MD use make it seem like some serious, irreversible damage has been done. abstract thinking and short-term memory have completely gone out the window and it doesn't look like they'll fully return based on the rate of recovery (It's been around 6 weeks). Just writing this message has taken me around 10 times as long as it would have a few months ago. Ridiculous stuff..
 
oscthebooklad said:
Yea I think alot of people's problems on here can be accounted through by anxiety and (not necessarily drug introduced) hypochondria. Everyone is affected by the adverse qualities of MD, but for whatever reason some people can just hold their shit together better, or just don't show it. Often BL makes it worse imo, i try to stay away.
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Spot on
My thoughts exactly.

If your prone to anxiety and have read that MDMA can cause this..........guess what happens when your on your comedown?
 
i was not prone to anxiety never...and it happened. Some people can be allergic o dont have enzimes enought to fight neuronal oxidation, ok we are unlucky because of genetic brain chemistry....its all i can say. If a bee bite me, nothing happens, if a bee bite me friends he will die or would have severe neuronal problems if is not antidote in time. MDMA neurotoxic, yes....but more for ones than for anothers, exactly like the bee toxic stuff. But like the bee toxicity, you can recover for it, slowly as the the bodie always does... ;)
 
swedger77 said:
Spot on
My thoughts exactly.

If your prone to anxiety and have read that MDMA can cause this..........guess what happens when your on your comedown?
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Especially when you have bad vibes on the comedown anyway. I admit i get anxious, but no more after starting md.
Best thing to do on a comedown is to STAY AWAY FROM PANIC CAUSING BL THREADS.. grab a duvet, some films and just kick it

I'm not saying MD is harmless.. but the most important thing to remember is freaking out does no good, and when it comes to drugs everything will almost always be ok
 
oscthebooklad said:
Especially when you have bad vibes on the comedown anyway. I admit i get anxious, but no more after starting md.
Best thing to do on a comedown is to STAY AWAY FROM PANIC CAUSING BL THREADS.. grab a duvet, some films and just kick it

I'm not saying MD is harmless.. but the most important thing to remember is freaking out does no good, and when it comes to drugs everything will almost always be ok
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I agree that reading too many horror stories on bl + freaking out over what you may/ may not have can be as much a cause of SOME of the persisting psychological symptoms as the drug itself. On the other hand, some of the symptoms of MD abuse, experienced by myself and apparently several other BL members, often appear to be too blatant to simply dismiss as being completely thought up, or the product of ones excessive worrying. The cognitive decline that accompanied abuse for me, for instance, has been pretty easy to gage - shot-term long-term memory, abstract thinking etc. The sheer amount of time it takes to write posts and complete what would normally be mundane tasks is a constant reminder of the differences, before and after abuse. Other very physical, and very real symtoms that I've experienced include HPPD (severe enough to have a considerable effect on my ability to read as the text never sits still on the page), tinnitus (which gets pretty stupid if I've been awake too long), regular muscle twitches and brain zaps.

I don't want to contribute to all the freaking out the goes on in ED but based on the severity and range of my symptoms, on top of a lot of other intense, long-term cases i've read about on BL, i find it hard to agree that all, or even the majority, of these symtoms (particularly in more severe cases) are completely the result of 'not holding your shit together'. I think you've made some good points but it's hard to believe that no damage has been done (to me at least), when it feels like every aspect of mind - personality, intelligence, sense of humour etc - has been raped. Also, whilst i don't know much about some of my physical symptoms, I can't help but to feel like HPPD and tinnitus are somehow signs of some damage that has occurred.

I could be wrong, or in the minority, but I felt like I had to say something based on my personal post-MD struggle so far... or at least how I've perceived it, fuck knows what's really going on in my empty shell of head right now... haha.

... sorry about the long read dudes x
 
Will you be taking MDMA again? I would advise against it.

The negatives clearly outweigh the positives for you.
 
swedger77 said:
Will you be taking MDMA again? I would advise against it.

The negatives clearly outweigh the positives for you.
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I agree and will probably never even try it again. Although I have a long way to go towards recovery (based on other anecdotal descriptions of severe long term comedowns), the thought of my symptoms worsening is enough incentive for me to stay away from MD for good. This comedown has pushed me to the brink of sanity and I would not wish it on my worst enemy.
 
I'll keep it simple, it is not all in your head. Serotonin and anxiety are strongly correlated, you hurt your serotonin with MDMA thus causing you to be more anxious in general. Some people are better at keeping their shit together / ignoring it. It's as simple as that, good news is when you hurt your serotonin system with MDMA it is bound to come back even if it takes a long ass time.
If you smoke pot, and your experiencing bad anxiety from your long come down. I would stay the hell away from it, i fucked my self over by smoking a lot of pot back when i was rolling.
 
F1n1shed said:
Serotonin and anxiety are strongly correlated, you hurt your serotonin with MDMA thus causing you to be more anxious in general. Some people are better at keeping their shit together / ignoring it. It's as simple as that, good news is when you hurt your serotonin system with MDMA it is bound to come back even if it takes a long ass time.
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Do you know if cognitive symptoms such as poor memory are also related to serotonin?
 
dpd_mnk92 said:
Do you know if cognitive symptoms such as poor memory are also related to serotonin?
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Well remember MDMA also releases a large amount of dopamine and norepinephrine as well. I see research saying that you may or may not have a cognitive decline but i strongly believe they are related. The proof is in other people who have posted on this site, whether they are heavy users or not. They mostly all say they had a harder time studying, figuring out problems, word recall, memorization etc.
I noticed my self literally becoming dumber once i tried MDMA, that's not to say it has mostly gone away now that i have quit. The question is how much of it has gone away?
 
dpd_mnk92 said:
Do you know if cognitive symptoms such as poor memory are also related to serotonin?
Click to expand...

There was a pretty well-constructed study that failed to show cognitive decline in (pure) MDMA users. That said, poor memory may be related to depression or anxiety, which in turn may be related to the serotonin system. The many parts of your brain interact in complex ways, often with unpredictable results.
 
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