Doctors not prescribing anxiety medications

[lifeisflyingaway]

Hi, i have had anxiety since i was very young probably around 10 due to various different reasons. I didn't have any friends growing up, and was often teased on a daily basis on top of that my parents were real strict and religious (we are muslim). The first time they caught me drinking which was probably the only second time i tried, they sent me off to a juvenile boarding school that were usually for troubled teens in the more extreme cases. At that time i didn't do anything that most of those kids did, i didn't know what weed was like or any other drug besides the few sips i had from alcohol (which i didnt really feel). A lot of abuse went on in that place for years since this was in jamaica the place was called tranquility bay. For years this place was crazy, all day long you heard screaming from students getting restrained, and in some cases they would be real bloody from the staff beating them up. Some girl even killed herself their which was pretty disturbing but i wasn't their when that had happened. Anyways fast forward into the future, when i got out of their i slowly begin trying all sorts of drugs to try and cope with my sexuality which i wont really discuss because it had been a big problem since in that boarding school staff members would threaten me etc because in their country they kill gays. So from one drug to another i was lucky to have enough knowledge about withdrawals so i never did one drug for a long period of time. This went on for awhile, so a few years later my dad got a job transfer to a city i absolutely hate.

I was finally starting to make a lot of friends towards the end of my stay in phoenix and i was really liked by many and things seemed to be finally getting a bit better. But before moving here i went on a trip to the middle east with my mom to see her family and was their for a few months over the summer. I realized once you had a prescription for benzos or any other meds you could get as much as you want it, as long as the place had it. I started to buy quiet a bit and it lasted me till i was here for my first few weeks. I was careful not to use them everyday because of the issues others had gone through but i would take them less often but in larger quantities. All of my pain, and anxiety obviously vanished and i could function as a normal person when on them. However when they were gone, i was consdering being on them like you are suppose to 1-2 times a day at a lower dosage. Obviously and unfortunately the psychiatrist my parents wanted me to go see because they wanted me to get some shot that blocks cravings for alcohol and pills. I didn't want to do that so i got prescribed seroquel and eventually gabapentin which i will admit has helped than being on nothing and adjusting to living here, not having any friends at all so far, and a lot of sad bad memories. I do occassionally get panic attacks from being stuck in my room all day and so worried about many things such as school and the reality of the years it takes to get a degree, student loans etc.

With school starting in a few days, I went to a free clinic by my house today, since my psychiatrist is so reluctant to prescrbe any anxiety meds even though my parents hold onto my meds. I know from the past that many doctors are resistant to prescribe anxiety meds or narotics. I have been completely sober for over 4 months, and was told by the doctor he couldn't and wouldn't prescribe any. My last hope is to see a physician doctor who i should have but i don't so my parents are making an appointment with one. I can't really explain how upset and depressed it makes me to realize that from a young age i have been so nervous and overthinking all the time. I'm at the point where i'm looking for a part time job and can't get any still, i just want it to keep me busy and have money to be able to hang out with friends if i make any when school starts. I have to force myself to get through normal situations, to talk to people, and to prevent myself from overthinking about certain things that trigger panic attacks. I've noticed around cousins and some friends in the past that don't use drugs or anxiety, they have confidence to do the simple things that i find so difficult. A lot of people in my family believe depression and anxiety is bullshit but after having a few trips to the emergency room in the past my parents finally started getting a little serious about it. In the past i would come home drunk once or twice a week and a lot of those times i would be crying for so long because of how depressed i was.

I see that a lot of people get prescribed benzos pretty easily and have a large supply, but in my case i've seen most of the doctors say no even though i haven't had any history of addiction. It just really destroys me this anxiety bullshit, on the outside nowone would suspect i have any because i'm talkative and real outgoing but on the inside i feel like i'm melting away. Either way i just had to vent because the doctor not prescribing any today so i finally bought a can of alcohol to drink before walking back home since i never get the chance to drink at all because my parents will finally be done and throw me out the house. I wasn't surprised that i started talking to my mother and starting crying about all sorts of things which worries her a lot. I just get by day to day and am looking forward to school starting but will be destroyed if in a few months from now i still haven't met any new people and found a part time job.

SO anywho i'm just curious what is your experience in doctors prescribing benzos? and also has anyone been on them that can tell me whether they ended up feeling worse or better? (dependence, tolerance, it not working anymore, and withdrawals) Also i'm talking about taking it as prescribed not taking 4 xanax bars everyday for recreational use. Did you find it more helpful in the long term or would you have chosen to have never be on them?

Sorry for the rambling, i don't think any sober person talks as much as i normally can. Thanks!

 

[Jabberwocky]

as sorry as i feel for you about your past and all the problems you have had in them, adding benzo's would simply be another on top of it all. while you may see them as a cure for your anxiety and issues - they are meant for short term use only (2-4 weeks treatment) so starting you on a course of them would be purposeless. considering you're after a long term fix, no medication will do that for you. you have to work through your issues and problems with a councillor or psychotherapist, not a doctor.

it seems as if the minute you pick up a benzo, it will be the beginning of a long road filled with addiction to them. i'm sorry, i don't see any other outcome judging by the way that you speak and tell us of your experience with drugs in the past. even if you take the medication as prescribed, you'll still end up dependant on the drugs. they are so difficult to come off i can't begin to explain the horror of doing so. you're actually at a very good position now, drug free, benzo free and able to function properly. benzos might take away your anxiety initially. they won't forever. and all you're doing is blocking yourself from dealing with your problems to start with by using benzos. the only thing that can is yourself and working through all the problems that have caused you to have anxiety in your life. you say you get panic attacks sometimes from sitting in your room all day long, well theres an easy fix, don't sit in your room all day long and you won't get panic attacks.

you say you have been sober for 4 months, what exactly were you using beforehand too?

I started to buy quiet a bit and it lasted me till i was here for my first few weeks. I was careful not to use them everyday because of the issues others had gone through but i would take them less often but in larger quantities. All of my pain, and anxiety obviously vanished and i could function as a normal person when on them. However when they were gone, i was consdering being on them like you are suppose to 1-2 times a day at a lower dosage. Obviously and unfortunately the psychiatrist my parents wanted me to go see because they wants

that just about sums it up for me. AFTER you had finished your stash you were thinking about using them "responsibly"? who are you trying to kid here, us, or yourself? come on. again i sympathise with your problems and difficulties in life, but you're just going to end up with another thing that will eventually tip you over the edge and godknows where. you're not supposed to be on benzos. you're supposed to use them for 2-4 weeks only and then stop all use.

everyone who has been on benzos long term will tell you the same thing. that they wish they had never started the fucking things.

i was put on benzos when i was 16 for about 6 months. how i wish that had never happened. i still fight with my addiction to benzos and i'm 20 now.

may i ask - how old are you?

 

[Pegasus]

I wouldn't get on benzos. They are at best a short-term band-aid for anxiety, and at worst, they can make your anxiety much worse. My experience with benzos for anxiety is that they made my anxiety much worse, not only in the long term, but also on a day-to-day basis while I was using them. I definitely experienced rebound anxiety between doses, which led to me overestimating my need for benzos and dosing far more regularly than I should have.

If you do use benzos, I recommend to only use them short-term or infrequently. While some people claim that daily use of benzos helps them, you will notice that these people are pretty much always current daily users. I do not know of any people who have come off of long-term of daily use of benzos and speak positively of it. One last thing-- Not all benzos are created equal. Shorter acting ones are more addicting and cause more rebound anxiety. I'd steer clear of Xanax especially if you are planning to take with any regularity.

 

[XoxoMaryJane]

OP- Tranquilty Bay was in the media quite a bit, everything I read and saw was horrific about that place. So sorry that you had to experience that. I definitely think you may need someone to help you, but just taking the benzo without actively working on the issues causing the anxiety will not make it go away. it just sort of masks the problem for the moment. I wish I could really help you out more. The only experience I can share is my benzo's tend to make me stay in, instead of going out with my my friends. I was much more outgoing when off mine. But that is just me personally.

 

[lifeisflyingaway]

as sorry as i feel for you about your past and all the problems you have had in them, adding benzo's would simply be another on top of it all. while you may see them as a cure for your anxiety and issues - they are meant for short term use only (2-4 weeks treatment) so starting you on a course of them would be purposeless. considering you're after a long term fix, no medication will do that for you. you have to work through your issues and problems with a councillor or psychotherapist, not a doctor.

it seems as if the minute you pick up a benzo, it will be the beginning of a long road filled with addiction to them. i'm sorry, i don't see any other outcome judging by the way that you speak and tell us of your experience with drugs in the past. even if you take the medication as prescribed, you'll still end up dependant on the drugs. they are so difficult to come off i can't begin to explain the horror of doing so. you're actually at a very good position now, drug free, benzo free and able to function properly. benzos might take away your anxiety initially. they won't forever. and all you're doing is blocking yourself from dealing with your problems to start with by using benzos. the only thing that can is yourself and working through all the problems that have caused you to have anxiety in your life. you say you get panic attacks sometimes from sitting in your room all day long, well theres an easy fix, don't sit in your room all day long and you won't get panic attacks.

you say you have been sober for 4 months, what exactly were you using beforehand too?



that just about sums it up for me. AFTER you had finished your stash you were thinking about using them "responsibly"? who are you trying to kid here, us, or yourself? come on. again i sympathise with your problems and difficulties in life, but you're just going to end up with another thing that will eventually tip you over the edge and godknows where. you're not supposed to be on benzos. you're supposed to use them for 2-4 weeks only and then stop all use.

everyone who has been on benzos long term will tell you the same thing. that they wish they had never started the fucking things.

i was put on benzos when i was 16 for about 6 months. how i wish that had never happened. i still fight with my addiction to benzos and i'm 20 now.

may i ask - how old are you?

I just turned 21 recently, see all the people that have to go through the benzo withdrawals at some point or another is what makes me not want to take them daily even though initially i wanted to try and take them as prescribed. I prefer to use them as a per needed basis but honestly, i can't really say it will be a problem however ill be well aware of when or if it does. My fear would be that a doctor would stop prescribing them which they often do which can lead to severe withdrawals better to taper. But i really don't think i'll be getting them it's unlikely the dumb doctor will prescribe them.
I used to do different drugs, in the beginning i loved drinking probably twice a week, because it gives me that liquid courage. I then tried various amounts of pills and then meth, acid, shrooms, ketamine and heroin. However a lot of these drugs i did not do more than 2 or 3 times because they were difficult to come across. Meth to me was the worst because just once a month usage still didn't go smooth because i literally would feel dead when coming down. I never felt a comedown so bad and that made me hate the drug, and not want to do any drug too often because i know it would get worse. Sometimes i did take many in my "stash" because i knew i wouldn't be able to get anymore

 

[lifeisflyingaway]

Hmmm honestly i feel like if life in general improves, (work, friends, etc) i wont be feeling like im dying in anxiety all the time. It sounds like a big joke but honestly i feel like it would help me during those difficult days im having. But i dont know, since i'm most likely not going to get them i have to cope with dealing with the anxiety someway or another. I am concerned more about alcohol, i'm in a situation i cannot drink at home, i'm usually pretty broke but if i had money and was living in a different family i probably would become an alcoholic for the first time. I just crave the not feeling so worried about everything and having a more positive outlook that i feel and believe. But at the same time if something makes me feel better, and than more worse i guess it's not worth it. I can just imagine the benzo on my tongue and swallowing it, their goes all the anguish and every other negative feeling. It's just hard because i'm already on 2 medications one for the depression and the other for anxiety, but even though i'm on higher doses it just doesn't have the same effect a benzo will. Thanks stupid psychiatrist you have me dependent on something that doesn't help all the way.

 

[casualuser]

Benzo's can definitely help with anxiety but in the end they only block it, they do nothing about the root cause. If you strongly feel you can control your use then keep trying to find a doc that'll give you a script but FIRST find a therapist that can help you get over your anxiety so eventually you won't need any type of meds. If I were you though I would just stay away, like many have said most benzo users admit they cause more harm than good, I would only consider it if your panic attacks were so debilitating you couldn't leave the house and then only in the most extreme situations. Either way good luck!

 

[Jabberwocky]

What medications are you on at the moment? They may be aggravating your symptoms and making you feel worse.

Listen, you've already made it clear to me that a benzo script for you would be an absolutely awful idea. Listen you yourself, you'd get hooked on them straight away. They aren't magic pills, they don't make the world a better place to live in and they don't help you long term at all. They will make your quality of life much worse. You seem to have problems with substances as you feel the need to drink - and let me tell you that will not cure your problems either quite the opposite actually. You're making things worse for yourself by obsessing over these things - benzos in particular. You have to snap out of this, as hard as it may be, I know you have been through a lot in your life and I completely sympathise for what's happened to you again and I'm so sorry it all happened to you. But you can get through this, the only way to overcome your anxiety and problems properly is by working through them with a therapist for example. See someone you can fully open up to about everything and they will help you find coping strategies and methods to alleviate your problems. I swear to god I would do the same for you if I could. You can send me a pm and I will listen to all you have to tell me and try to help as much as I can but I'm not a qualified professional. Seeing a therapist was my first step on the road to recovery and not a shrink giving out medication.

The doctor isn't dumb at all not giving you the benzos. He's actually very well trained, and is actually professional in what he's doing. Many would just have handed it out to you, when you don't need them and by giving them to you, you'd end up in a much darker and worse place. Trust me. I'm so glad to see this for once. My hope in psychiatrists may not be fully out the window.

Your life will get better but only you can make it so. Don't be so negative on yourself and don't self obsess over substances be it alcohol, benzos or whatever. They will not help you like you think they will. They may work momentarily and for a few hours but then it's back worse than ever. And it reinforces your desire to take something.

Have you got any personal interests? Have you tried to take up a new hobby or sport, something that will occupy your mind? There must be things out there that you really enjoy doing. Do you like any sports in particular? Do you like reading? Give it all a try. Reach out and grab any opportunity that comes your way, try something new, live for your dreams and don't give up.

Your life will get better but you have to believe in yourself. You have to believe you will get better, and focus on doing so in a way that is not medication based. Only you yourself can change and move your life around in a better way. It's tough, and you've been through a lot already, but things are looking up for you. You're in a loving family who cares so much about you, you're out of that awful place you were at. You have a fresh start now to start something new.

 

[lifeisflyingaway]

Benzo's can definitely help with anxiety but in the end they only block it, they do nothing about the root cause. If you strongly feel you can control your use then keep trying to find a doc that'll give you a script but FIRST find a therapist that can help you get over your anxiety so eventually you won't need any type of meds. If I were you though I would just stay away, like many have said most benzo users admit they cause more harm than good, I would only consider it if your panic attacks were so debilitating you couldn't leave the house and then only in the most extreme situations. Either way good luck!

Yeah it is not something i would want to take daily, but more as a per needed basis that is if i still manage to be able to only use it a few times per week. Ugh, they honestly need to make something that relieves anxiety like benzos but don't have to be so dangerous. Luckily i am able to get out of the house and don't have any major anxiety just at certain times.

 

[pasha]

They are at best a short-term band-aid for anxiety

^This is very sound advice. Although most people with generalized anxiety or panic disorder benifit from benzodiazepines, and panic disorder is a medical emergency, you must understand that once you quit benzodiazepines your anxiety will be dibilitating. It will be below par and it will take a considerable amount of time for it to get back to what it is now, which is bad enough as is.

I can't really coach you on what to say to your doctor, but if you insist on getting on benzodiazepines I would recommend clonazepam over alprazolam in your case. Alprazolam is effective at stopping acute panic attacks due to its fast onset, while clonazepam has a much slower onset, it's much superior in terms of duration of action allowing a maximum of twice daily dosing to be effective in controlling GAD.

Most users would agree that as much as anxiety disorders are real, benzodiazepines are infamous for inducing some of the worst physical and mental withdrawal symptoms, which can take years to reverse in chronic users.

Good luck.

 

[Jabberwocky]

Chro, how can you encourage the OP to wanting to take benzos? Come on. Read all he's written and it's clear he shouldn't be on benzos. If he should be on ANY benzo whatsoever it should be oxazepam 5-10mg or chlordiazpoxide 5-10mg MAXIMUM. I still don't even suggest using these! It would be irresponsible and life ruining.

 

[pasha]

^I discouraged taking benzodiazepines and alerted the OP of possible consequences. I only made a recommendation if the OP insists to ignore the advice given and still use benzodiazepines. I discouraged alprazolam and suggested clonazepam because some studies suggest its one of the least addictive benzodiazepines with diazepam at the top of the table followed by alprazolam. I'm sorry if you felt I was encouraging the OP but that was far from my intention.

Edit: and I think OP is a she, are you not?

 

[Jabberwocky]

Ah my bad. I just don't think that further giving information about benzos is a good idea. OP says that he/she cannot get a hold of any benzos anyway although I guess it's good to give information regarding what benzo should be used if they finally manage to get ahold of them. Clonazepam is renown for its nasty withdrawal - I think oxazepam would be best suited to this situation. I completely agree with you 100% about not taking alprazolam though. Really? Where is this list regarding addictiveness? I though clonazepam and alprazolam would be relatively high up the list frankly! For me they are pretty potent, kpins aren't that bad - but the discontinuation syndromes with them are the worst. Alprazolam is very addictive for me, it's instant hit is what does it I think.

 

[pasha]

Ill find it and post it ASAP and you make of it what you want. It's an interesting study suggesting that benzodiazepines with the fatest onset are the most addictive.

 

[Jabberwocky]

Yeah I'd be really interested to read it, thank you yeah I thought the fastest onset ones would be the most addictive, and also ones with the shortest half life perhaps.

 

[lifeisflyingaway]

UGH! After my mom decides to bring a neighbor over that wants to spend time with me and for me to help him at his at work, i almost had a panic attack i couldn't stand talking to him and was briefly responding to his words after he left i was furious because i realized that even if i wanted to help him, i just can't do it too NERVOUS i'm getting sick of this bullshit, i wish i could do things like a NORMAL person without all these added fears. Can you imagine when i actually have legitimate things to do in this world that involve work, etc i will probably die and faint. Honestly if i could cure this another way i would but i'm gonna tell my psychiatrist to piss off the next time i see her. I'm seriously done with not being able to do things as i see other people doing without any difficulty. I don't understand why the fuck i have to get so anxious around certain people, why i have to shake when i go to an interview, and sit their and worry all damn day long. Yes i am able to get out of the house, and no i don't think the tv is talking to me, but i DO think way too much good for my own sake, and the only time i don't do that is when i am on a benzo even if it were a low dose. All the things i could accomplish, without feeling so worthless about myself. I want on a per needed basis if it gets out of control simply my parents will cut me off. I'm not in the situation i was a few years ago when i had my car, money, and people to buy drugs off of. I'm now in a new environment where i don't know and dont want to know who sells what, restricted license from a stupid warrant for missing court for a misdemeanor. I'm very limited, even if i wanted to go and get fucked for drugs, i wouldn't be able to do it because i will get kicked out the same fear that keeps from going to the gas station and getting drunk. If the only available and possible legal option is a benzo here and their, than i'd rather have that.

 

[pasha]

^I can empathize with you as I know fear and panic can cloud ones judgement and lead to a series of wrong decision making. Nonetheless, i think you need cognitive behavioral therapy to help you control those triggers, and perhaps experiment with a none addictive path in terms of medication, before making such a drastic decision to use benzodiazepines.

You have some serious problems that are the root to your anxiety which you should address with someone.

 

[lifeisflyingaway]

I used to see a counseler but they can't physically do anything about my problems except for listen, after awhile i grew tired of spilling my heart out to someone who can't fix it in anyway. Life would be just simple and easier to be those confident sober people, unfortunately that will never be me.

 

[Jabberwocky]

Again, you're focused and centred on using benzos. If you simply stop fantasising and dreaming of being able to take a benzo which I remind you is not a magic pill, maybe you can move on and think of something else? Think of something else that doesn't make you anxious. Something that you can do productively and creatively in order to address your issues. I wish I didn't shake when I went to interviews either. I wish I didn't bite my nails. I wish a lot of things in my life hadnt of happened. That won't cure anything. That won't stop me biting my nails or stop shaking in interviews - what will, is CBT, training and methods to reducing my anxiety through therapy. Everyone in their life has anxiety issues. It's NORMAL to be anxious in those situations, in fact you'd be pretty freaky if you didn't, or a psychopath

It seems like an a per needed basis of benzos would be all the time. You're an addict to substances. You're lucky you don't have any access to any now. You'd be in a wreck.

What other medications are you on at the moment?

 

[pally pete]

UGH! After my mom decides to bring a neighbor over that wants to spend time with me and for me to help him at his at work, i almost had a panic attack i couldn't stand talking to him and was briefly responding to his words after he left i was furious because i realized that even if i wanted to help him, i just can't do it too NERVOUS i'm getting sick of this bullshit, i wish i could do things like a NORMAL person without all these added fears. Can you imagine when i actually have legitimate things to do in this world that involve work, etc i will probably die and faint. Honestly if i could cure this another way i would but i'm gonna tell my psychiatrist to piss off the next time i see her. I'm seriously done with not being able to do things as i see other people doing without any difficulty. I don't understand why the fuck i have to get so anxious around certain people, why i have to shake when i go to an interview, and sit their and worry all damn day long. Yes i am able to get out of the house, and no i don't think the tv is talking to me, but i DO think way too much good for my own sake, and the only time i don't do that is when i am on a benzo even if it were a low dose. All the things i could accomplish, without feeling so worthless about myself. I want on a per needed basis if it gets out of control simply my parents will cut me off. I'm not in the situation i was a few years ago when i had my car, money, and people to buy drugs off of. I'm now in a new environment where i don't know and dont want to know who sells what, restricted license from a stupid warrant for missing court for a misdemeanor. I'm very limited, even if i wanted to go and get fucked for drugs, i wouldn't be able to do it because i will get kicked out the same fear that keeps from going to the gas station and getting drunk. If the only available and possible legal option is a benzo here and their, than i'd rather have that.

I know exactly how you feel as i was like this for many years and still feel like this sometimes now. I sweat terrible in others company if they make me feel anxious, especially at work if someone talks to me who i dont feel comfortable round, on occasions my safety glasses steam up from the massive about of heat that my face/head produces when i get extremely anxious whilst talking to certain people or being in certain enviroments.

For many years it used to annoy me and it would lead to me becoming very depressed as i questioned the reasons why i felt so anxious but more than anything the thing that would depress me the most about my anxiety was the fact that it had such a solid grip on me that it would control every aspect of my life and would lead me to avoid people/places/situations so as to lessen the anxiety but that was what made me ultimately becoming very depressed as i felt i was never able to express myself as i wished and by avoiding things i was not living my lfe to it's full potential.

It's a very fustrating situation to be in, and when i originally discovered Benzos it felt it was what i had always been lucking for, a tool to help me live and express myself without becoming a nervous wreck who over analyzes everything!

But over 3 and 1/2 years later i can honestly say it was better being a nervous wreck who was not reliant on Benzos than being what i have become now...... Which is someone who has spent those last few years using Benzos to escape them feelings yet now being in the situation where i am as much a nervous wreck as ever and who is battling to get Benzos out my system and live life on lifes terms without a false shield from it all.

Believe me i know how desperate you feel (Your user name somes up the feelings very well) but being in the grip of Benzos is the last thing you need. I pray to just be returned to how i felt before using Benzos, that's how bad it can get.

Im 17 days clean of Benzos but still not out the woods yet.