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Will the anxiety/insomnia ever end? When will I be normal...

You will be fine man. I went through the exact same thing last May. It took me a good 6 months to snap out of it. If I am very hung over, I get a lot of derealization.

For me, healing was all about accepting and then ignoring the symptoms of anxiety. Like you, after the first two months, I did not feel anxious, rather I had the secondary symptoms - ie vision issues, depersonailzation, derealization, etc. which lead to hypocondria which lead to more anxiety. Once I just said fuck it, I can't let this crap control my life, it got a lot better.

Now I am fine save a bit of DP/DR if I am really hung over or sleep deprived.
 
Dawglaw you've always been so helpful, thank you! I don't let it control my life and I'm doing everything I did before but I just miss normal things like sleeping, being mentally stable etc :D I don't have any dp, its more feeling like crap all the time but will just have to wait it out...
 
Hi theSHowmustgoOn

Ok its my month 10, im doing better ;) , the thing is that i was having that zaps like you, like was something electric in the left side of my head all time, and in the night, when i was more tired then the zaps got stronger but its not only a sec, was all day like numbed and suddenly at night a little bit more.
Im thinking its related with anxiety and, because i have a down 1 weeks ago because i smoke 1 breath of weed and makes me get anxiety, then i felt the zaps again stronger like months ago...so could be just anxiety disfunction but it gets better in time.
 
btw...folley do you have your original post here with your experience? ...just a i want to know something more about somebody who survives this horrible experience, i dont want to compare my simptons and so on...everybody is diferent, i just want to know how you felt in the begginin of this, and how are you talking about it now.

Folley said:
Sounds like a complete placebo effect to be honest. I'm thinking the rest of your symptoms are probably just in your head :\



Multi-vitamins are pretty shitty. They overload our body with a lot of things it DOESN'T need, just to get a few of the things that it does. Puts your kidneys under a lot of stress as well. Just eat a healthy diet, one high in L-Tryptophan. Our old moderator here DarksidedSam has a great diet that will help speed serotonin production up, that plus sunshine and exercise will be WAY better than any pill you could ever take.
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@folley - it seems melatonin is not available here in the uk unless it is prescribed, I am going abroad to Europe in a couple of days so I will see if it is available there.

@derok - I havn't had any brain 'zaps' - just a lot of head pressure in the first week and over the last couple of days.
 
derok said:
btw...folley do you have your original post here with your experience? ...just a i want to know something more about somebody who survives this horrible experience, i dont want to compare my simptons and so on...everybody is diferent, i just want to know how you felt in the begginin of this, and how are you talking about it now.
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Unfortunately I never made a thread on it.. I guess took it upon myself to find out what the fuck happened lol. Maybe I'll come back and write up my experience when I have more time, but let's just say I was in a very bad place for quite some time haha
 
ok no problem....anyway you said that after this experience you rolled again, but after this roll did you feel any anxiety syntom or hang over or something wrong?

Folley said:
Unfortunately I never made a thread on it.. I guess took it upon myself to find out what the fuck happened lol. Maybe I'll come back and write up my experience when I have more time, but let's just say I was in a very bad place for quite some time haha
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Ohhhh yes, Oh God yes.... I'll do a quick write up, the story is long haha


I started of taking E sporadically, but after a year or so I found a steady hook up and soon began taking 4+ pills a week. This lasted for months at the time, and the quality of the pills almost constantly dropped during that time. I first started back when Seattle was a good place to party, MDMA pills and even some MDA was pretty easy to find. Eventually though, meth took over the scene and MDMA began to get stamped out. Most meth pills were easy to spot, a Blue Dolphin was almost guaranteed to be a meth pill. I must have seen (and taken..) 10+ different Blue Dolphin stamps that were all meth. So I was doing a lot of MDMA, but also adding speed into the mix or doing speed during the times I couldn't find the good pills. This matters because it really added to the coming symptoms, and likely made them much worse than MDMA abuse alone would (but I still got over it)

My last roll (for a while) was on an MDMA and meth combo (tested). I took 4 pills that night, and they weren't THAT strong but it was a solid dose of both drugs. I wanted more, like my crackhead self, but my dealer was too lazy to get up and sell me a few pills that late. So instead, I get the great idea to go drop 4 strong liquid LSD hits to the tongue, still high on meth and coming down from MDMA hard. I had a lot of bad comedowns before this... but that comedown stayed with me for a month at least. It was traumatizing to say the least. I had always had depression before this but never to this degree... I was completely bi-polar, I would go from sad to happy to angry to crying to hopeful to scared and then try to go to sleep and just stay up all night worrying.

That last roll was in June 2011, and it took me almost the entire Summer to recover. I was completely depressed, always worrying and just a complete emotional wreck. I thought it would be like that forever and I was close to going and getting professional help... but eventually you just ask, why the fuck am I depressed? And like that I was over it lol. To be honest though, it was probably more the mindstate that mushrooms put me in that helped me, but most people don't need them at all. I'm a bit of a cheater when it comes to that sort of thing, hah.



It DOES get better though, I went through hell and thought I was never coming back... but a few simple changes to my life completely turned that depression around. It took a LONG time, but it happened thank God.



You just have to keep living. What happened, happened. There's no changing that, so might as well learn to live with it :)


- Former E Tard Folley
 
and no more rolling after that?? :)

thanks for your time folley...is being useful trust me!
 
Folley said:
You just have to keep living. What happened, happened. There's no changing that, so might as well learn to live with it :)
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That is the truth. After a while, my problems were based on the concern of what I possibly had done to my body. The anxiety was caused by anxiety about having anxiety. I worked hard to accept my situation and face the anxiety head on and I honestly, I feel emotionally much more stable after this experience. I eat healthier, I exercise every day, I ended a bad relationship. I have completely overcome any pre-existing anxiety because I was forced to confront it with the bad comedown. The misuse of E caused me a lot of problems but it also forced me to work on myself and make major changes that have made me a better person and actually happier than I was pre-comedown.

Now I wouldn't induce a bad long term comedown to better yourself but if you find yourself in the middle of a bad comedown, don't sit around and be pissed/sad/scared, instead use the time to change your life for the better.
 
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Hey guys,
I took a quarter of a gram of mdma on NYE and ever since have been feeling the same things as said on here, however I have also been having chest pains, they go as soon as they come and are usually when I am worrying about my situation.
Do you think this is just anxiety? Shall i go to my doctor about lot all these things I've been feeling? Or just ride it out?
It was my second time of doin it but my first time I didn't take anywhere near as.much as I did on NYE.
Sorry if there's misspellings my phone is buggered!
 
Anxiety is a real motherfucker. Look around bluelight for healthy living and mindfulness tips. Get outside and off the Internet and keep living as normal as a life as possible. It's uncomfortable at first but you have to push yourself to keep living as normal as possible. Once you don't let it control your thoughts at all times of the day you will slowly learn to ignore it and one day you will ask yourself "do I still feel weird".
 
So many people on the internet saying "get off the internet" :p

It would be a good idea to test what-ever you're buying before you do it. Get a testing kit, then if you're going through shit afterwards, you'll at least know what it was.
 
This thread has actually really helped, to know people are literally going through, or have gone through the exact same thing as me.
I think it definitely is about just getting in the right frame of mind as I have been a lot better lately from constantly being with my boyfriend and friends, it was only when I found myself alone for the first time in a while I started to freak out.
When at work or keeping busy I find I' alright, no chest pains or racing heart from anxiety! Will 100% not be doing Mandy again though!
 
Welcome to BL sasha, what can I say about myself...well my personality is back, I'm sociable, no apparent loss in cognitive functions, I'm really only dealing with physical symptoms, ie, the insomnia, tinnitus, crazy stomach issues and I do get the occasional bad day where I feel really negative but my boyfriend also helps me through these. Do take all the advice from here, low gi diet, exercise, etc and most of your symptoms are almost definitely anxiety, don't be afraid of them and feed the anxiety. Most importantly have patience, something that I have had to learn through this, and give it all the time it needs to get better. Don't put pressure on yourself to feel better as this will only add to the anxiety and stress, let it run its course, we'll get through in the end, everyone does, and nothing is as tough as the first month. Keep us updated and good luck, the community here is incredibly supportive!
 
Thank you :) I'm trying to ignore it and stop being so scared! It definitely is just the uncertainty of when I'm going to be normal again that's so worrying, I am feeling a lot better tho! How long has it been since you took it again?
 
3 months...or 13 weeks depending on how you want to look at it lol
Please bare in mind it doesn't mean it will stay that long for you, its different for everyone, what worried me the most was whether it was brain damage, neurotoxicity, whatever you wanna call it, but this is extremely unlikely as for both of us it is only a single dose of some random crap, but hey we'll get over it and we both know better for the future right! Bare in mind that our brain counts in months not days or even weeks, so really time wise is just longer than it sounds, think of how long it takes for a baby to learn how to talk, that's how slow our brains move. And don't do the mistakes I keep making and reading every single bloody thread on bl....has done no good whatsoever. Stay positive and you'll be brand new in no time! Now time to heed my own advice and get the hell off here x
 
Does anyone reckon the doctors will be able to do anything that will be able to help? Thank you so much for replying it helps a lot to know I'm not the only one x
 
All that doctors will do is give you legalised drugs. If you want to not use drugs to deal with your problems, take some of the advice above :)
 
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