Kratom Addiction/ Need Help After Withdrawals Are Over

[feelinblue]

No one replied to this post so I thought I'd put it here.

"Alright so I started using kratom daily this past fall in about November and was taking about five grams a day for a month. Like three grams in the afternoon, then 2 or 3 more at night. When I stopped on December 7, I experienced what I now imagine Hell to be like. I was having panic attacks nonstop for about five days. severe depression followed that. About ten days after I had last used I was starting to feel better and got really drunk. Huge mistake, because it threw me back into full withdrawal again...

So, about ten days after that the withdrawals appeared to be pretty much gone again (only slight depression/discomfort), so like a true addict I threw down about five grams of kratom, and here we are in fucking withdrawing again, ten days later. At this point I just threw out the rest of my kratom. The severe anxiety is over I guess, but I'm still on edge and can't really tell how I feel. Depressed and a little anxious and just completely tired of it. It's driving me nuts. Yesterday (day 9) I tripped on 4-aco-dmt (very similar to mushrooms) and obviously had a terrible time, but I was taking it hoping it would reset my mind and help me to feel normal again. And of course I'm freaking myself out thinking this might have turned the w/d's in a bad direction.

The question is this: How do I know when withdrawals are over? Is it gradual or will it just happen at some point? Please share any success stories. The mental gymnastics going on in my head is starting to really get at me. I wasn't taking that much kratom nor was I taking it for that long so I feel like I'm screwed up forever (might just be the anxiety talking, as the day went on it got much worse).

I don't mean to sound overly dramatic because I know there's people going through way worse than this. I just really need to know what's going on.

Thanks everyone."

 

[Fresco]

^^^^ Kratom withdrawals in a nutshell (and keep in mind this will vary from person to person):

First 4 days are the worst. Then you have a secondary withdrawal period that lasts about 3 to 4 weeks before you're completely back to normal again.

First 4 days expect coughing, restless legs, fatigue, sneezing, insomnia, depression and general malaise. Secondary WD period expect fatigue and very mild depression for 3 to 4 weeks

 

[feelinblue]

^^^^ Kratom withdrawals in a nutshell (and keep in mind this will vary from person to person):

First 4 days are the worst. Then you have a secondary withdrawal period that lasts about 3 to 4 weeks before you're completely back to normal again.

First 4 days expect coughing, restless legs, fatigue, sneezing, insomnia, depression and general malaise. Secondary WD period expect fatigue and very mild depression for 3 to 4 weeks

This is day 11 and I've felt worse today and yesterday than any other day.

 

[Fresco]

This is day 11 and I've felt worse today and yesterday than any other day

Were you messing with extracts or plain leaf powder?? Also were taking other opiates before the kratom?? Your WD will soon pass, give it another week or two and you'll be almost back to normal

 

[ScreamPhoenix]

man alive gurl ... if kratom made me feel that fuckin good, I'd always have a cup of tea with me!

If you are referring to me, I assume this is a joke right.. b/c my super long happy & hyper post was written when I first got off of the kratom. Unless you're referring to something else I wrote? Did I talk about the joys of kratom when I was high on it? I don't remember that, maybe I did

 

[ScreamPhoenix]

This is day 11 and I've felt worse today and yesterday than any other day.

I'm so sorry to hear that. I still feel crappy in terms of sweats and chills, but other than that I am OK. I got 6 hours of sleep last night, which was nice. I woke up early once, and that's it. Luckily this time I had hardly any stomach issues (maybe the preemptive Loperamide helped). I was only taking regular Thai/Bali. And like Fresno said, it depends on each individual. Their body chemistry. Their mental state. Desire to quit. And so forth. I never ever had the coughing stuff or RLS, even withdrawing quitting "real painkillers". The other stuff, absolutely, plus diarrhea, throwing up, etc.

Do you work, go to school, etc? Are you trying to distract yourself in any way? That's helped me better than anything I think..

 

[ScreamPhoenix]

So check this out. 7 days and still going strong. Started classes today. Financial situations worked out, I did have to drive around for about 5 hours today to make it work, but hey. Got ok sleep last night. Still having lots of sweating and chills, other than that, all is well. Anyway, I just cleaned out my car today and I found a kratom pill under the seat....

I am really debating about taking it. I am tired of the sweating/chills, also having some pain issues Advil isn't touching. I don't want to "set myself back", but I can't afford to go get more or order any. I don't even have time since I gotta go to bed early and I have to be at school for 12 hours tomorrow. I doubt one would even do anything (1 gram). Decisions, decisions..

 

[feelinblue]

Were you messing with extracts or plain leaf powder?? Also were taking other opiates before the kratom?? Your WD will soon pass, give it another week or two and you'll be almost back to normal

I was just using plain leaf Bali. The only other drug I had done is marijuana.

 

[feelinblue]

I'm so sorry to hear that. I still feel crappy in terms of sweats and chills, but other than that I am OK. I got 6 hours of sleep last night, which was nice. I woke up early once, and that's it. Luckily this time I had hardly any stomach issues (maybe the preemptive Loperamide helped). I was only taking regular Thai/Bali. And like Fresno said, it depends on each individual. Their body chemistry. Their mental state. Desire to quit. And so forth. I never ever had the coughing stuff or RLS, even withdrawing quitting "real painkillers". The other stuff, absolutely, plus diarrhea, throwing up, etc.

Do you work, go to school, etc? Are you trying to distract yourself in any way? That's helped me better than anything I think..

Yeah, my spring semester starts in a few days. Hopefully the distraction of school will get my brain off of it.

 

[feelinblue]

So check this out. 7 days and still going strong. Started classes today. Financial situations worked out, I did have to drive around for about 5 hours today to make it work, but hey. Got ok sleep last night. Still having lots of sweating and chills, other than that, all is well. Anyway, I just cleaned out my car today and I found a kratom pill under the seat....

I am really debating about taking it. I am tired of the sweating/chills, also having some pain issues Advil isn't touching. I don't want to "set myself back", but I can't afford to go get more or order any. I don't even have time since I gotta go to bed early and I have to be at school for 12 hours tomorrow. I doubt one would even do anything (1 gram). Decisions, decisions..

I would strongly advise against it. The slight "high" you might not even achieve from one gram is not worth going back in your progress.

 

[podsnomo]

Man Blue, you sure got the shit end of the stick for such a short-lived and relatively low-dose habit. I even read where you said you weren't even messing with the extracts (which is a huge mistake for anyone IMO).

The WDs are what they are. That said, you should be feeling better than you report. Are you dealing with other problems? How are you taking care of yourself otherwise? Eating well, etc.?

Here's my advice to feel better while you're quitting: 1. Exercise. I'm not talking hardcore. Just a walk a day will do wonders, especially over time. 2. Eat well. Lot's of protein and fresh stuff. If you have no appetite, like I didn't, I recommend a shake that will work wonders IME. Get some bananas, some soy milk, some vanilla ice cream, and a big thing of protein powder that's fortified with vitamins. That'll be like in the sports nutrition part of the store. Now, take 2 bananas, 2 scoops of ice cream, 2 big scoops of protein powder and however much soy milk for the thickness you like. Blend the hell out of it. Drink it. It's yummy, it fillls you up, and it's chockablock full of the things your body and brain need to get back to functioning something like the did pre-addiction. 3. Masturbate and have sex whenever you can. This, along with exercise, will help your brain start making more of the chemicals it quit making when it thought it had extra because of the kratom. 4. Take a shower as hot as you can stand it, then drink some herbal tea or coffee, but only drink coffee if you're not nervous and jittery. 5. Consider joining or at least maybe attending an AA or NA meeting or two... or ten... thousand. 6. Whether or not you join a program, think about how you will go through each day ONE DAY AT A TIME, sober. Your head will chew on you, it will say whatever it thinks it needs to say (mine does) in order to try to get you to do something to make you feel better with something external, like kratom or worse. 7. (these are not in order; do this first) take some immodium if your gut's moving too quickly, double dose at least, and use aleve for the pains if you got em. 8. Meditate for 10-20 minutes a day at least. Just set a timer or something, sit or lie down somewhere comfortable, and count your breaths from 1 to 10 over and over and over again. This will quiet your mind. The skies won't part and angels won't come down and bless you with full recovery or a 5 minute orgasm, but over time you will likely find that the majority of the suffering you're dealing with is self inflicted. My mind has a fierce motor. I imagine yours does too. If you're anything like me, you probably have no idea how devastating that wheel in your head is. This simple meditation will shut it off temporarily and over time give you more control to not only notice it but to say to it, "Shut the fuck up. Thanks for sharing, you genius of an arsehole."

So, my guess is that you're freaking yourself out a bit. It will get better every single day, though you will have some bumps, some ups and downs. This too shall pass. I would find myself saying that to myself over and over again, like if I was working and felt like I was gonna slither out of my skin, turn insideout like an alien movie and die in an explosion of panic, sweat, chills and the shits. It brought me some peace, just knowing it won't last. And I can promise that absolutely. It. Will. Not. Last. not forever.

If you MUST eff around with psychedelics while going through WDs take a LOW recreational dose of DXM. Less than 200 mg. Do this only IF you feel you MUST use something to get out of the WD feelings for a bit. DXM made me feel all creepy as hell, but when I was coming off of a serious poppy pod (opium) habit, I used about 200 mg of DXM and this very mild trip that lasted all day. It dissociated me to a decent extent from the misery I was in. I was at my gf's house while she was out of town and she had netflix, so I just watched tons of documentaries. DO NOT, please, take that shit if you are going to be going anywhere. It's effin weird!

Best thing though, is just face it. Put up a sign in large print that says you are wonderful person doing something amazing for yourself. You are, ya know, right?

You'll know the WDs are mostly over when you start laughing at a couple things, when your feelings come back in full force (which is good and bad). Then, it'll just smoothe out from there.

You'd also do well to follow some of what Scream is doing. Look at your symptoms and do what you think is best. Really though, don't use anything, esp not psychs. And google your way around the interwebs. There's tons of advice out there for coming off opiates and opiate-like stuff, like kratom.

Relax. You're not screwed up forever. Everything will be OK. Be kind to yourself for the love of Buddha!

~pods no more
(also, kratom no more, booze no more, bullshitnomo)

P.S. After being on day 5 of my quit and lapsing by using once night before last and then 4 times yesterday, today has been pretty damn easy relatively speaking. Kratom free for about 24.5 hours now. And I'm off to my home group now.

No one replied to this post so I thought I'd put it here.

"Alright so I started using kratom daily this past fall in about November and was taking about five grams a day for a month. Like three grams in the afternoon, then 2 or 3 more at night. When I stopped on December 7, I experienced what I now imagine Hell to be like. I was having panic attacks nonstop for about five days. severe depression followed that. About ten days after I had last used I was starting to feel better and got really drunk. Huge mistake, because it threw me back into full withdrawal again...

So, about ten days after that the withdrawals appeared to be pretty much gone again (only slight depression/discomfort), so like a true addict I threw down about five grams of kratom, and here we are in fucking withdrawing again, ten days later. At this point I just threw out the rest of my kratom. The severe anxiety is over I guess, but I'm still on edge and can't really tell how I feel. Depressed and a little anxious and just completely tired of it. It's driving me nuts. Yesterday (day 9) I tripped on 4-aco-dmt (very similar to mushrooms) and obviously had a terrible time, but I was taking it hoping it would reset my mind and help me to feel normal again. And of course I'm freaking myself out thinking this might have turned the w/d's in a bad direction.

The question is this: How do I know when withdrawals are over? Is it gradual or will it just happen at some point? Please share any success stories. The mental gymnastics going on in my head is starting to really get at me. I wasn't taking that much kratom nor was I taking it for that long so I feel like I'm screwed up forever (might just be the anxiety talking, as the day went on it got much worse).

I don't mean to sound overly dramatic because I know there's people going through way worse than this. I just really need to know what's going on.

Thanks everyone."

 

[feelinblue]

Man Blue, you sure got the shit end of the stick for such a short-lived and relatively low-dose habit. I even read where you said you weren't even messing with the extracts (which is a huge mistake for anyone IMO).

The WDs are what they are. That said, you should be feeling better than you report. Are you dealing with other problems? How are you taking care of yourself otherwise? Eating well, etc.?

Here's my advice to feel better while you're quitting: 1. Exercise. I'm not talking hardcore. Just a walk a day will do wonders, especially over time. 2. Eat well. Lot's of protein and fresh stuff. If you have no appetite, like I didn't, I recommend a shake that will work wonders IME. Get some bananas, some soy milk, some vanilla ice cream, and a big thing of protein powder that's fortified with vitamins. That'll be like in the sports nutrition part of the store. Now, take 2 bananas, 2 scoops of ice cream, 2 big scoops of protein powder and however much soy milk for the thickness you like. Blend the hell out of it. Drink it. It's yummy, it fillls you up, and it's chockablock full of the things your body and brain need to get back to functioning something like the did pre-addiction. 3. Masturbate and have sex whenever you can. This, along with exercise, will help your brain start making more of the chemicals it quit making when it thought it had extra because of the kratom. 4. Take a shower as hot as you can stand it, then drink some herbal tea or coffee, but only drink coffee if you're not nervous and jittery. 5. Consider joining or at least maybe attending an AA or NA meeting or two... or ten... thousand. 6. Whether or not you join a program, think about how you will go through each day ONE DAY AT A TIME, sober. Your head will chew on you, it will say whatever it thinks it needs to say (mine does) in order to try to get you to do something to make you feel better with something external, like kratom or worse. 7. (these are not in order; do this first) take some immodium if your gut's moving too quickly, double dose at least, and use aleve for the pains if you got em. 8. Meditate for 10-20 minutes a day at least. Just set a timer or something, sit or lie down somewhere comfortable, and count your breaths from 1 to 10 over and over and over again. This will quiet your mind. The skies won't part and angels won't come down and bless you with full recovery or a 5 minute orgasm, but over time you will likely find that the majority of the suffering you're dealing with is self inflicted. My mind has a fierce motor. I imagine yours does too. If you're anything like me, you probably have no idea how devastating that wheel in your head is. This simple meditation will shut it off temporarily and over time give you more control to not only notice it but to say to it, "Shut the fuck up. Thanks for sharing, you genius of an arsehole."

So, my guess is that you're freaking yourself out a bit. It will get better every single day, though you will have some bumps, some ups and downs. This too shall pass. I would find myself saying that to myself over and over again, like if I was working and felt like I was gonna slither out of my skin, turn insideout like an alien movie and die in an explosion of panic, sweat, chills and the shits. It brought me some peace, just knowing it won't last. And I can promise that absolutely. It. Will. Not. Last. not forever.

If you MUST eff around with psychedelics while going through WDs take a LOW recreational dose of DXM. Less than 200 mg. Do this only IF you feel you MUST use something to get out of the WD feelings for a bit. DXM made me feel all creepy as hell, but when I was coming off of a serious poppy pod (opium) habit, I used about 200 mg of DXM and this very mild trip that lasted all day. It dissociated me to a decent extent from the misery I was in. I was at my gf's house while she was out of town and she had netflix, so I just watched tons of documentaries. DO NOT, please, take that shit if you are going to be going anywhere. It's effin weird!

Best thing though, is just face it. Put up a sign in large print that says you are wonderful person doing something amazing for yourself. You are, ya know, right?

You'll know the WDs are mostly over when you start laughing at a couple things, when your feelings come back in full force (which is good and bad). Then, it'll just smoothe out from there.

You'd also do well to follow some of what Scream is doing. Look at your symptoms and do what you think is best. Really though, don't use anything, esp not psychs. And google your way around the interwebs. There's tons of advice out there for coming off opiates and opiate-like stuff, like kratom.

Relax. You're not screwed up forever. Everything will be OK. Be kind to yourself for the love of Buddha!

~pods no more
(also, kratom no more, booze no more, bullshitnomo)

P.S. After being on day 5 of my quit and lapsing by using once night before last and then 4 times yesterday, today has been pretty damn easy relatively speaking. Kratom free for about 24.5 hours now. And I'm off to my home group now.

Pods, you don't know how much consolation that brings me. I might still be freaking myself out, you're right. And to answer how I've been taking care of myself, I've been on a basically no-sugar diet, and go on 30 minute jogs at least 3 days a week. I guess I'm just extremely sensitive to substances. My God, I hope so. The thing that tears me up is that I was starting to feel kind of okay before I took the 4-aco, and not that bad the day after until night. And then come about 7 or 8, I went into complete panic mode. I was up all night, went to Walmart at 3:00 a.m. to get some Zquil just to knock me out (took the recommended dose, mind you). I guess I'm just worried. I need to man up and take all your advice, I haven't been exercising very much during this most recent episode, or eaten that much (have been having whey protein shakes daily). I think I'll head to the local smoothie shop and pick up something healthy and packed with vitamins and protein. Masturbation, I won't argue with that.

I'm going to be coming in this thread very often, it's the only thing that helps me cope with this hell I'm living in, knowing that other people have been through this and gotten better.

Thanks, Pods, Scream, and Fresco for the advice.

 

[podsnomo]

It helps me to know I've brought you consolation, Blue. It could also be that RC (research chemical, isn't it, that 4-aco?) that's keeping you bouncing off the walls some. Who knows. Doesn't really matter though. What matters is you getting better, and that WILL keep happening. IS happening right this minute, every single second you stay in the present, to the extent you can, and just keep breathing. And not using.

Sounds like maybe you are sensitive to substances, or maybe just the strain of kratom you had. Hopefully it was good kratom. I've heard of vendors mixing in OTC medication to make it stronger, the arseholes.

Man, I'm so glad this thread has been what you needed, but I do highly recommend you tell a couple people. If you don't want it known in your friend circle man, just try an AA or NA meeting. Get a phone # or 2. You'd be surprised how helpful we are, and no one will judge you there.

Was this your first time getting hooked on something? If so, that could be part of why it seems so bad. The first deviation from being a non-addict can be a shitstorm, even if it's relatively minor compared to the heroin junky under the bridge. I feel like maybe because I've been through so much hell that these WDs I'm having now don't seem like much. Of course, not recommending you go down my road. That's one toughass, longass road.

What also helps me greatly is my spirituality. I hated the 'god' stuff in AA when I started, but my concepts have changed dramatically. I place the higher power, my higher power, not outside of myself, like some deity, but inside. There's a lot of similarity between zen and AA, excepting the whole god-as-father idea. Destruction of ego (the rot of ALL my problems) and learning to live life in this very now. The present is all we have, but like we often say in AA, we spend a lot of time in our heads, clearing away the wreckage of our futures. That's fucked, I know, but that's how we are. And the earth people will never understand us. (Earth people are those with no experience of addiction in my book. That's what I call them.)

IME, I find that when we give our full attention and love to the present moment, no matter what it is, it becomes the most beautiful and wondrous thing in the world. Hard as that is to do, the idea is simple.

Some zen for you my friend:

"When you forget the good and the non-good, the worldly life and the religious life, and all other dharmas, and permit no thoughts relating to them to arise, and you abandon body and mind—then there is complete freedom. When the mind is like wood or stone, there is nothing to be discriminated."

Sitting quietly, doing nothing,
Spring comes, and the grass grows by itself.

"The blue mountains are of themselves blue mountains;
The white clouds are of themselves white clouds."

Before I had studied Zen for thirty years, I saw mountains as mountains, and waters as waters. When I arrived at a more intimate knowledge, I came to the point where I saw that mountains are not mountains, and waters are not waters. But now that I have got its very substance I am at rest. For it's just that I see mountains once again as mountains, and waters once again as waters.

Don't cling. Don't seek.

Water which is too pure has no fish.

__________________________

Two monks were once traveling together down a muddy road.
A heavy rain was falling. Coming around the bend,
they met a lovely girl in a silk kimono and sash,
unable to cross the intersection.

"Come on, girl," said the first monk. Lifting her
in his arms, he carried her over the mud.

The second monk did not speak again until that night
when they reached a lodging temple. Then he no longer
could restrain himself. "We monks don't go near females,"
he said. "It is dangerous. Why did you do that?"

"I left the girl there," the first monk said.
"Are you still carrying her?"

____________________________________________

You don't look out there for God, something in the sky, you look in you.
____________________________________________

Alcoholism/addiction is the only prison where the key is on the inside.

___________________________________________

love, peace, and RIGHT NOW to all,
podsnomo

 

[podsnomo]

oh, and blue, what's with the no-sugar diet? Eat some fucking chocolate man. Live a little.

 

[feelinblue]

It helps me to know I've brought you consolation, Blue. It could also be that RC (research chemical, isn't it, that 4-aco?) that's keeping you bouncing off the walls some. Who knows. Doesn't really matter though. What matters is you getting better, and that WILL keep happening. IS happening right this minute, every single second you stay in the present, to the extent you can, and just keep breathing. And not using.

Sounds like maybe you are sensitive to substances, or maybe just the strain of kratom you had. Hopefully it was good kratom. I've heard of vendors mixing in OTC medication to make it stronger, the arseholes.

Man, I'm so glad this thread has been what you needed, but I do highly recommend you tell a couple people. If you don't want it known in your friend circle man, just try an AA or NA meeting. Get a phone # or 2. You'd be surprised how helpful we are, and no one will judge you there.

Was this your first time getting hooked on something? If so, that could be part of why it seems so bad. The first deviation from being a non-addict can be a shitstorm, even if it's relatively minor compared to the heroin junky under the bridge. I feel like maybe because I've been through so much hell that these WDs I'm having now don't seem like much. Of course, not recommending you go down my road. That's one toughass, longass road.

What also helps me greatly is my spirituality. I hated the 'god' stuff in AA when I started, but my concepts have changed dramatically. I place the higher power, my higher power, not outside of myself, like some deity, but inside. There's a lot of similarity between zen and AA, excepting the whole god-as-father idea. Destruction of ego (the rot of ALL my problems) and learning to live life in this very now. The present is all we have, but like we often say in AA, we spend a lot of time in our heads, clearing away the wreckage of our futures. That's fucked, I know, but that's how we are. And the earth people will never understand us. (Earth people are those with no experience of addiction in my book. That's what I call them.)

IME, I find that when we give our full attention and love to the present moment, no matter what it is, it becomes the most beautiful and wondrous thing in the world. Hard as that is to do, the idea is simple.

Some zen for you my friend:

"When you forget the good and the non-good, the worldly life and the religious life, and all other dharmas, and permit no thoughts relating to them to arise, and you abandon body and mind—then there is complete freedom. When the mind is like wood or stone, there is nothing to be discriminated."

Sitting quietly, doing nothing,
Spring comes, and the grass grows by itself.

"The blue mountains are of themselves blue mountains;
The white clouds are of themselves white clouds."

Before I had studied Zen for thirty years, I saw mountains as mountains, and waters as waters. When I arrived at a more intimate knowledge, I came to the point where I saw that mountains are not mountains, and waters are not waters. But now that I have got its very substance I am at rest. For it's just that I see mountains once again as mountains, and waters once again as waters.

Don't cling. Don't seek.

Water which is too pure has no fish.

__________________________

Two monks were once traveling together down a muddy road.
A heavy rain was falling. Coming around the bend,
they met a lovely girl in a silk kimono and sash,
unable to cross the intersection.

"Come on, girl," said the first monk. Lifting her
in his arms, he carried her over the mud.

The second monk did not speak again until that night
when they reached a lodging temple. Then he no longer
could restrain himself. "We monks don't go near females,"
he said. "It is dangerous. Why did you do that?"

"I left the girl there," the first monk said.
"Are you still carrying her?"

____________________________________________

You don't look out there for God, something in the sky, you look in you.
____________________________________________

Alcoholism/addiction is the only prison where the key is on the inside.

___________________________________________

love, peace, and RIGHT NOW to all,
podsnomo

Again, I appreciate it. Maybe my body type has a lot to do with my reaction to the drug withdrawals (tall, really skinny). Surely taking the 4-aco didn't leave me stuck this way right? I feel much worse now that I took it. I just wish I had a time frame for recovery. I'll try the zen stuff.

 

[ScreamPhoenix]

If you MUST eff around with psychedelics while going through WDs take a LOW recreational dose of DXM. Less than 200 mg. Do this only IF you feel you MUST use something to get out of the WD feelings for a bit. DXM made me feel all creepy as hell, but when I was coming off of a serious poppy pod (opium) habit, I used about 200 mg of DXM and this very mild trip that lasted all day.

The last time I took painkillers (after surgery) I read about the DXM thing. SO I bought some cough syrup. Of course, I had no idea how to dose it. I remembered kids in high school used to drink an entire bottle of Nyquil for fun. So I poured a capful, felt kinda drunk/good, and then of course my addict brain was like, "Well if you feel better now, more will make you feel EVEN better!" Probably took 4-5 capfuls (don't know the doseage). OMG! I was not only wrecked and out of my mind but feeling the withdrawals even worse. It was depressing and scary and I couldn't make my mind shut off or heart stop racing for hours. The bf got me a glass of water with ice cubes in it, they made that crackling noise, and I asked him if the ice cubes were mad. It sounds funny, but at the time, it was pure hell. I won't take cough syrup now, and if I even see it I get a disgusted feeling.

All of your advice was excellent! I'm about to go for a walk myself. Got a few hours to kill before next class..

 

[ScreamPhoenix]

Again, I appreciate it. Maybe my body type has a lot to do with my reaction to the drug withdrawals (tall, really skinny). Surely taking the 4-aco didn't leave me stuck this way right? I feel much worse now that I took it. I just wish I had a time frame for recovery. I'll try the zen stuff.

I don't really know what that is, so I couldn't tell you. Please try to do whatever it is that makes you feel pleasant- movies, comedy, books, music. Try to keep busy.

 

[ScreamPhoenix]

Welll so I did end up taking it. It did make my pain go down a bit for a couple of hours, my head felt kind of fuzzy, and I also felt more lazy.

I don't think it set me back in any way, I still feel the same. And despite the chills, sweating, and not sleeping a full 8 hrs per night yet, I really dig being sober. I really don't want it anymore, all I can think of are the negative affects. I can't even remember why I wanted it in the first place, what good I thought it did for me. I feel more in control and more confident. I'm not afraid to be me. It's weird, but I'm going with it, and I'm quite happy.

Good luck to everyone. Hope you all have a wonderful day!!

 

[podsnomo]

Again, I appreciate it. Maybe my body type has a lot to do with my reaction to the drug withdrawals (tall, really skinny). Surely taking the 4-aco didn't leave me stuck this way right? I feel much worse now that I took it. I just wish I had a time frame for recovery. I'll try the zen stuff.

No, for sure you're not stuck, but psychs can have effects that go on for a good while, and since all the mechanisms going on, all the king's horses and all the king's mean (meaning Science) don't really know what to tell you about when it will go away. Nor do I. What I CAN tell for SURE is that ti will go away. Forget the time frame. Seriously. The future doesn't even exist. EVER. It's always right now. That's what you got, that's all you'll ever heave, But realize that the idea of only ever having the present is just that: AN IDEA. Don't spend too much time in your head. You might do well, for the time being, to treat your mind like a bad neighborhood and never go in there alone.

You are not stuck. Trying zen is not zen. An infinitely expanded present. A right now of foreverness. You are pure in spirit. You know this. You always have been, and you always will be.

pnm

 

[podsnomo]

Welll so I did end up taking it. It did make my pain go down a bit for a couple of hours, my head felt kind of fuzzy, and I also felt more lazy.

I don't think it set me back in any way, I still feel the same. And despite the chills, sweating, and not sleeping a full 8 hrs per night yet, I really dig being sober. I really don't want it anymore, all I can think of are the negative affects. I can't even remember why I wanted it in the first place, what good I thought it did for me. I feel more in control and more confident. I'm not afraid to be me. It's weird, but I'm going with it, and I'm quite happy.

Good luck to everyone. Hope you all have a wonderful day!!

scooze me lady but I think I came in mid-conversation. You ended up taking what, some kratom?

As for the rest of that, surprisingly enough, I'm in the same boat. I'm cool with being clean for once. I'm sober and things aren't driving me crazy. A fucking miracle. I just look around at things, see them, and without judging or thinking, keep looking, and I'm listening to the world. I can turn off the radio in the car and hear as much of interest in the road noises as I did in the radio. My dog really digs the happier, more playful me too. Now when I come home, and she's 9 mind you, she acts like a puppy, sharges around the house, grabs her toy, shakes the shit out of it and runs into the room I'm in like, Here Dad, here's my gross toy with squeaker, let's have fun with this now. And we do!

Sobriety. Bless it be.