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Do you think it's normal to take your GF with you to parties?

Keep being clingy and she's going to become distant - and it's pretty much over from there.
 
Well I can see your issues because my wife and I have this problem.

I am a major extrovert and can talk with just about anyone on any topic. She grew up in a negative family and thus became an introvert. Now she has her set of friends and I have my set of friends. I do consider her friends my friends as well but she has trouble being with my friends. Here are a few reasons. Most of my friends are very (and proud) nerdy. They all used to LARP, play MMORGs and goob on topics like Dr Who and BSG. I did all of that except MMORGs as well. Her friends tend to be very out of touch with pop culture. Conversations with them have been stale for years. When I do drag her to friend gatherings she is nervous and usually wants to go pretty soon. I'm that way a lot of the time with her friends. They tend to try to make plans when I can't attend anyway. However the last couple of years (thank to rolling) she's come way out of her shell and we started making new friends together.
 
dmtmate said:
so we can fuck. that being said thanks for taking care of her and listening to her mouth all week so i don't have to
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I'm happy to know I get to live amongst such truly compassionate, respectful, loving people as you on this Earth. You show such a deep level of humanity with regards to attitude on women. You don't appear to view them as objects at all and obviously from this post, we can see you consider them as fully equal and valuable human beings.
 
tomdpimp said:
Well I can see your issues because my wife and I have this problem.

I am a major extrovert and can talk with just about anyone on any topic. She grew up in a negative family and thus became an introvert. Now she has her set of friends and I have my set of friends. I do consider her friends my friends as well but she has trouble being with my friends. Here are a few reasons. Most of my friends are very (and proud) nerdy.
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By the way - being an introvert or extrovert isn't conditioned by external factors - these things are true since birth. They might get better or worse though if you do/don't make the right efforts to control yourself throughout your life.

OP - Just try and convince her with some reassuring words about how you'll be a couple there, who both know fuck all people, but that that's the point of social gatherings - meeting people you were meant to meet for whatever reason, and pushing your comfort zone boundaries as well if you're tending towards introverted. Try giving her a back rub at the same time.


If she still doesn't want to go, just accept that it is just another party, and try again next time, using your powers of persuasion...attain these powers - charm her ass off! ;)

I would really look into your sexist, but more generally seperatist attitude - this helps no one in life.

On the other hand, she gets along GREAT with all my other friends... I do believe she has a point seeing as though she would be the only odd person at the party, everyone else knows everyone else. I don't know these people that well myself...

But I'm just judging her based on myself, I'd love to meet strangers and shit...
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Trust me, if you said this worded like this to her, I think she would melt and yield, dude - that was really honest, and showing a really nice side to you.
 
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Howzat? said:
Not all females are as immature as this but you may have a point. When you are young you have it in your mind that your personal clique of friends are going to be the same for ever. Reality is as you grow older friends will move on and you are forced to meet new people or slowly become a hermit. Developing social skills comes with confidence and you will never get better at making new friends if you can't hold a conversation with a stranger.

Making idle threats to leave then questioning whether or not to follow through is one way to create a lot of drama in a relationship. I wouldn't make a decision about your relationship based upon this disagreement but it does sound like you two might not be compatible enough to last.
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good points

also she might be the kind of person who likes to do their own thing within a relationship and doesn't want to be "tied at the hip"...
 
B1tO'RoughJack said:
Trust me, if you said this worded like this to her, I think she would melt and yield, dude - that was really honest, and showing a really nice side to you.
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I did tell her this. I am good at making women think I understand and listen to their needs.

But this is probably related to something else. I don't really care about this or that party... Now... I don't feel good at all in this relationship. I've lost all my trust for her and she doesn't make much effort to want to spend time with me. We do see eachother... sometimes even 2-3 even 4 times a week. But in the weekends she's never here, almost. She only spent half of this winter holiday with me, the rest of it she spent at home with her mother and shit... That's also where her ex-boyfriend lives.
I think she never spends weekends here because she wants to see her ex-boyfriend who I totally hate that asshole. She tells me she doesn't see him anymore but of course after seeing I don't like it... What can she say?

I guess this distrust stems from all the bullshit she did to me in the past, and I can't get over it. I was sick and tired of her treating me like shit that I put an end to it, then she came back to me in tears and I said no for a few days and then I gave her a last chance... She did change since the break-up, and I can see she's making more effort to be with me but... But she doesn't give me the attention I want... She sees me whenever she doesn't have homework or school, she even gave up many fun things just to be with me...

She never said she loved me though.

Even though she sees me often... I've told her many many times that I want to spend a weekend together and do stuff & shit, deaf ears...
Also I've told her to meet me before school for sex... deaf ears, we only have sex after school and that sucks because sometimes my parents are at home and we can't do it.

These are all stupid stupid reasons, I know.

I think what I'm trying to do is looking for reasons to end it... as I have been doing on and off for the past 4 months.

The truth is, we don't share the same interests and things. But I do love her because she is smart and witty and very social and makes me laugh and has a nice personality... sometimes...

But I just feel she isn't 100% what I need. I feel so alone in certain aspects of the relationship and she doesn't seem to get me.

Although lately she's trying to please me more and more. But she only seems to be nice to me when I'm an asshole to her.
 
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How old are you? The way you describe everything - you need to get a hold of yourself young buck! Serious bruv, you're running off at teh mouth, you're bordering on heavy co-dependency, and you're pushing her away with your kneejerk reactions.

She sounds like a bit of a glutton for punishment... From your subsequent posts, this relationship is sounding unhealthier and unhealthier. But this could be the passionate and young way you are portraying it. Who knows for sure. It certainly doesn't seem a good thing her ex is living with her mum - visiting your mum is one thing, but if your ex boyfriend is living there, hmmm that doesn't sound right man, and honestly I wouldn't trust her either in that situation, especially considering she's such a low self esteem.

What I do know for sure is you need to work on your honest open, calm communication, and your attachment issues.

How do you get on with your mother?
 
Her ex doesn't live with her mum. He lives in that town... somewhere around there.
Her mother doesn't like me because I have to many arguments with her.
 
Not wanting to go with you to one event does not mean she is a bad girlfriend. Maybe she has social anxiety. I haven't gone to plenty of parties and other events because of this. You are the one that insisted you go to the party with her friends. This hardly seems like an issue to me.
 
Ahhh yeah that sounds about right. You do have a bit of an attitude problem.

Her ex doesn't live with her mum? THen it's totally OK that she sees him then, and also spends time with her mum. She can't spend too much with you - that's unhealthy. She can remain friends with whoever she likes, it's YOUR job not to be an ass, otherwise you will drive her into his arms bro.
 
BluLait said:
Do you think I have a point here? I went to all of her fucking parties with all of her fucking friends in the past and whenever I ask her to come somewhere with me she just doesn't want to.
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No, I don't. Some people need a little breathing room in their relationships. Not even married people attend every event or party together.

I must say, you sound a bit controlling. And this sounds like a Pisces/Gemini relationship (though I might be wrong)
 
BluLait said:
I did tell her this. I am good at making women think I understand and listen to their needs.

But this is probably related to something else. I don't really care about this or that party... Now... I don't feel good at all in this relationship. I've lost all my trust for her and she doesn't make much effort to want to spend time with me. We do see eachother... sometimes even 2-3 even 4 times a week. But in the weekends she's never here, almost. She only spent half of this winter holiday with me, the rest of it she spent at home with her mother and shit... That's also where her ex-boyfriend lives.
I think she never spends weekends here because she wants to see her ex-boyfriend who I totally hate that asshole. She tells me she doesn't see him anymore but of course after seeing I don't like it... What can she say?

I guess this distrust stems from all the bullshit she did to me in the past, and I can't get over it. I was sick and tired of her treating me like shit that I put an end to it, then she came back to me in tears and I said no for a few days and then I gave her a last chance... She did change since the break-up, and I can see she's making more effort to be with me but... But she doesn't give me the attention I want... She sees me whenever she doesn't have homework or school, she even gave up many fun things just to be with me...

She never said she loved me though.

Even though she sees me often... I've told her many many times that I want to spend a weekend together and do stuff & shit, deaf ears...
Also I've told her to meet me before school for sex... deaf ears, we only have sex after school and that sucks because sometimes my parents are at home and we can't do it.

These are all stupid stupid reasons, I know.

I think what I'm trying to do is looking for reasons to end it... as I have been doing on and off for the past 4 months.

The truth is, we don't share the same interests and things. But I do love her because she is smart and witty and very social and makes me laugh and has a nice personality... sometimes...

But I just feel she isn't 100% what I need. I feel so alone in certain aspects of the relationship and she doesn't seem to get me.

Although lately she's trying to please me more and more. But she only seems to be nice to me when I'm an asshole to her.
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i don't think you're ready for a relationship.

i think you need to man up and break up with her - it sounds like you'd be happier without her and she'd be better off without you.

:\

alasdair
 
rangrz said:
I'm happy to know I get to live amongst such truly compassionate, respectful, loving people as you on this Earth. You show such a deep level of humanity with regards to attitude on women. You don't appear to view them as objects at all and obviously from this post, we can see you consider them as fully equal and valuable human beings.
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I need to shake Ms. G's hand. I dunno her, but I must say she has made such an awesome impact on you. I love the new rangrz.
 
Illyria99 said:
No, I don't. Some people need a little breathing room in their relationships. Not even married people attend every event or party together.

I must say, you sound a bit controlling.
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yes- back off and give her space- you feel alone because she doesn't want to do everything with you on your terms.

a relationship is about what two different people want and thats not always going to be the same. compromise.

and seriously give her space to breathe. i'm not her but if someone was being that domineering and trying to go absolutely everywhere with me it would be the biggest turn off ever
 
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