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slr if a man/woman you loved

kytnism

kytnism

Bluelight Crew
Joined
Feb 7, 2003
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king shit of fuck mountain :D
in conversation/argument said;

"you cant treat people like shit; and expect that they give you affection and roses"

and you replied in anger; "your poor ass couldnt afford roses"

and their rebuttal was; "your fat ass doesnt deserve roses"

how would you react?

and more importantly; how would you feel toward both the situation and the other person?

what judgements would you hold? whos right; and whos wrong in this scenario?

...kytnism...:|
 
I don't believe anyone is right in this situation. Both people went about this the wrong way and saying hurtful/spiteful words does not solve anything... I would suggest that both give one another room and then try to talk again but this time as adults... I also wouldn't think too heavily on what was said. We all can say such mean things when mad and without thinking.... however if no remorse is showed after all has settled down then I would probably not stop thinking about it.... its hard to say what I would do.
 
"you cant treat people like shit; and expect that they give you affection and roses" this is true

but then they go and treat u like shit with their rebuttal so they kinda just contradicted themselves

whether your fat ass deserves roses or not i would need to be able to know more about the situation ;)
 
I would say that if it was a generally healthy relationship, that both parties said words in anger that may have had some element of truth, but were designed for maximum hurt level and therefore both should apologize.

If it were me, I would step up and apologize first to clear my own soul, and let the other person follow at their own pace.

I know in the heat of the moment, I have said things to my partner that I regret and are completely out of character for me, I am glad that when I ask his forgiveness he readily gives it.
 
just sounds like a row. i dont see there being a right or wrong based upon what was said.

actions leading up to the row tell a different story

actions always speak louder than words
 
Yeah, I think it kind of depends what led up to that/what the context was. Taken out of context and presented as it is, I find "you cant treat people like shit; and expect that they give you affection and roses" to be a pretty odd thing to say and frankly pretty mean as well...But again, depends on the context.
 
Right and wrong?
Gained and lost?

What is this game you speak of?


What's best left unsaid? In a life of loss, silence can cost you more than you expect.
 
both seem wrong and immature
but it's hard to judge without knowing the context
 
Both not very nice for pointing out hard half-truths to each other, during times of anger.

No one is right or wrong though.

I would step back and see it for what it is - an argument, instead of a debate. Something to work on, and not get back there - breathing through the button pushing time - I need to take my advice RIGHT NOW...grrr. Woman on my case.
Peace - J
kytnism said:
in conversation/argument said;

"you cant treat people like shit; and expect that they give you affection and roses"

and you replied in anger; "your poor ass couldnt afford roses"

and their rebuttal was; "your fat ass doesnt deserve roses"

how would you react?

and more importantly; how would you feel toward both the situation and the other person?

what judgements would you hold? whos right; and whos wrong in this scenario?

...kytnism...:|
Click to expand...
 
In my 20s, I could totally see me throwing out the "your poor ass can't afford roses." LOL That's so me. Then, I would go party that night. Fuck 'im.

Now, I really think about what I say before I say it. I don't think I would let that fly out of my mouth.

I had an argument with this guy I'm seeing last night, so I guess I know exactly what I would do. He is looking for work in the engineering field, because he just graduated. I'm still pissed about NYE and told him so. So, yesterday morning I told him I wanted to go home and just be alone..cool off, basically. He shot off at me in anger and told me to grow up. I told him it was pretty hilarious that someone like HIM said I need to grow up (probably along the lines of the OP, but more subtle). He said I have no responsibility and do whatever I want, so I told him "Yes, because I made the RIGHT decisions when I was younger and didn't decide to have kids or fuck off until 35 and now wonder why I have to compete with 25 year olds."

So, after that, I went out with my work buddy and told him straight up that I'm going out this time and plan to hang out with people who are just as immature as I am with no kids. He's pissed. I don't care.

Plenty of fish in the sea. He can either cut me loose or keep me around. Doesn't matter to me. I'm all about having fun and I already told him he burned me once and he'll never have me at the same level again. Not like I didn't warn him.

So, really, I think for me, I've become more about action than bitching. Actually, he told me one of my faults is that I don't talk about my feelings and whatnot, and that's true. I don't really argue with anyone. I just ignore and move on.
 
focusing on who's right and who's wrong, who's to blame and who's at fault is a rocky road to ruin.

i also think playing this out passive-aggressively and publicly in slr - instead of talking about it privately - is probably a mistake and is likely to just make things worse.

finally, i'd need to see pics of this ass to determine whether it's fat and whether it deserves roses :)

alasdair
 
alasdairm said:
focusing on who's right and who's wrong, who's to blame and who's at fault is a rocky road to ruin.

i also think playing this out passive-aggressively and publicly in slr - instead of talking about it privately - is probably a mistake and is likely to just make things worse.

finally, i'd need to see pics of this ass to determine whether it's fat and whether it deserves roses :)

alasdair
Click to expand...

Yes, this. Wise words.

I would like to take a look at the ass, too. Just sayin' :)
 
alasdairm said:
finally, i'd need to see pics of this ass to determine whether it's fat and whether it deserves roses :)

alasdair
Click to expand...

that might be the best thing alasdair has ever said. or at least the best within the last year or so.

like other people said, it is hardto say who was right/wrong in an argument. by time voices are raised and both people are angry, the initial point has been lost. both people need to take time to cool off and readdress things with a level head
 
A treadmill might get you a better bunch of flowers but a another job might get him a better girlfriend.
 
Lysis said:
Now, I really think about what I say before I say it. I don't think I would let that fly out of my mouth.
Click to expand...
This.

you cant treat people like shit; and expect that they give you affection and roses
if this comment was directed to me, I would have replied what am I doing that makes you feel like shit? I never want to treat you badly and it wasn't my intention.

I have also learned that my husband needs time to formulate responses or to think about what I have said/suggested. I prefer an instant response BUT I don't get upset if I don't get one. He always responds within 24 hours.

I don't focus on who is right or wrong. I focus on how we can resolve it together and not revisit the same argument.
 
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