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How can two rolls be so different?

Ella84

Ella84

Bluelighter
Joined
Dec 19, 2012
Messages
100
I try to limit my MDMA use to no more than once every month, although once every two months seems to be my norm (I know that breaks of three months are advised). In the last month, however, being on holiday, I partied somewhat harder than usual and ended up taking MDMA on 16 Dec (100mg + another 100mg about an hour later at a massive party) and then again on NYE (same dose). The caps for both occasions were all from the same source and same batch, yet the highs were vastly different. Now, this would make sense to me if the NYE one was weaker, as my serotonin levels would probably still be recovering, but this wasn't the case at all. The 16/12 roll was not very intense at all. I felt pretty body high, but there wasn't very much of an empathic response/emotional high at all. Last night (NYE), however, with the same MDMA at the same dose redosing at the same interval I probably had one of my better rolls of the latter half of the year - intense body high, felt very empathic/cuddly/touchy, and seemed to have a much longer peak (as well as worse jaw clenching and eye wiggles). On both occasions I avoided alcohol, ate a small meal two to three hours beforehand, and was with the same crowd of people. The only discernable difference was the the first party was thousands of people, whereas NYE there were 15 of us. I also ate about 1.5g mushrooms on the 30th, but not sure that would have affected the 31st. My question: what could have made these two rolls so different? Could state of mind really account for that much of a change? Other than not eating a huge meal and avoiding booze, is there anything I could be overlooking? I find this pretty curious.
 
All of what I'm about to say is purely anecdotal, and pretty much conjecture, but I personally have some theories.

I do think environment and your mentality prior to taking MDMA play a big role in your...rolls, kinda like how it is with tripping. I've also had completely different rolls using the same exact stuff. I think your shroom may have opened you up a bit, like it does for me, leading you to feel more receptive to the empathy and emotional high ecstasy usually elicits.

While I still enjoy MDMA, it has kind of lost its magic for me. I really overdid it when I was younger, and it's just never been the same. But that's how most things are. I just went to an EDM festival, and for some reason, I wasn't as gregarious and personable as I usually am when on MDMA. I love interacting with new people and my close friends while on it, since I'm very reserved when sober. I think what kinda killed that part of my roll for me was the fact that I was still very cognizant of how I was being perceived by other people, when usually that's not the case when I'm rolling. Once you get accustomed to a certain drug, I think it loses its intensity, and you're able to be more "grounded". I'm the same way with tripping, too. When I only was tripping occasionally, there was no way I could have gone out in public or interacted normally with people, whereas now I can because I do it much more often.

Like I said, just conjecture. :)
 
pancakepirate said:
All of what I'm about to say is purely anecdotal, and pretty much conjecture, but I personally have some theories.

I do think environment and your mentality prior to taking MDMA play a big role in your...rolls, kinda like how it is with tripping. I've also had completely different rolls using the same exact stuff. I think your shroom may have opened you up a bit, like it does for me, leading you to feel more receptive to the empathy and emotional high ecstasy usually elicits.

While I still enjoy MDMA, it has kind of lost its magic for me. I really overdid it when I was younger, and it's just never been the same. But that's how most things are. I just went to an EDM festival, and for some reason, I wasn't as gregarious and personable as I usually am when on MDMA. I love interacting with new people and my close friends while on it, since I'm very reserved when sober. I think what kinda killed that part of my roll for me was the fact that I was still very cognizant of how I was being perceived by other people, when usually that's not the case when I'm rolling. Once you get accustomed to a certain drug, I think it loses its intensity, and you're able to be more "grounded". I'm the same way with tripping, too. When I only was tripping occasionally, there was no way I could have gone out in public or interacted normally with people, whereas now I can because I do it much more often.

Like I said, just conjecture. :)
Click to expand...

Yeah I know what you mean about feeling cognisant of how people are perceiving you. I feel the same way now also. I used to be able to feel completely oblivious to others and lose myself but now I feel hyper conscious of others. It doesnt feel comfortable. I too totally over did it when I was young and now only do it once a year but even just this once its not the same even though I always get good quality.
 
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