WayneRooney
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Nov 1, 2010
- Messages
- 235
(if you can't be bothered reading this long story, though I'd appreciate anyone that cared to, please skip to my Q1 at the bottom. That's my main concern)
So its been nearly 2 years since I first discovered diazepam. And have used on and off ever since.
I initially used maybe 10mg once every 2 weeks. Then it got more frequent. Maybe weekly. Then I started upping the dose for certain situations (comedowns/interviews ect). And it just became more and more frequent since.
I guess in the last year I've used an average of 10mg or more a day. But its not been 10mg a day. There have been weeks I've taken 20-30mg a day for 7 days straight. But then there have been weeks I've gone completely diaz free. During such weeks I've ocassionally had insomnia and minor, minor anxiety and shakyness. But I'd never say I've experienced severe withdrawal symptoms. I've always functioned. Up until a few months ago I couldn't have said that I'd managed to 'dodge' withdrawals, as a week-10 days was the longest I'd gone without (and I know it has a long half-life), but a month ago I went on holiday abroad for 3 weeks, which led to me going valium free for a month. During this month I got the minor anxiety around days 5-15, but then was absolutely fine. I was hoping that this would be me knocking the frequent use on the head for good, but I slipped back into my sporadic daily/weekly useage of 10-30mg a time.
I'd say in the last month I've taken about an average of 20mg a day, but again not consecutive days. There have been 2-3 day breaks in between.
But now I plan to stop. And once I've stopped I'll just use them for what I originally intended them for; functional reasons; interviews and comedowns. I have potentially some very important interviews coming up in the new year, and it would be nice for me to be off them by them, and a 10mg to do the trick. (Just to note the reason my intended functional plan for this drug didn't work is that I enjoyed the relaxation it gave me, so started taking it on random nights just to enjoy the footy, or watch a film, or even have an easier day at work... This is the sort of shit I want to stop. Its uncessary and spoils the potential beauty of this drug.
Anyway. I have about 30 x 10mg left and want to use these up and be done. As you can see I know my limits well a little, in that I know I can go a few days-week feeling fine and not wanting more to feel normal. So I plan to just take 10mg whenever this happens. And hope it becomes less and less frequent, until I don't feel the need to take anymore unless I want to.
Regarding this plan I just have a few questions:
1) Seizures are my major worry. As stated I know I can go about 5 days-a week without feeling minor withdrawal symptoms. So my theory is if I take 10mg when these minor withdrawals start I'll avoid a seizure. But my only worry is if seizures can happen WITHOUT these prior minor withdrawal symptoms. So my first question is, can a benzo-withdrawal induced seizure happen out of the blue, with NO prior w/d symptoms, inparticularly in someone such as myself who DOES notice minor w/d symptoms after 5-10 days use?
2) Was my month break in which I felt back to normal by the end long enough to say I 'dodged' full blown withdrawal? I did experience minor withdrawal 10 days in, which subsided. Then felt normal. Would it have been possible for delayed withdawal that much longer after stopping, and considering I'd already 'got over' initial minor w/d symptoms.
I'm pretty confident I can be disciplined enough to do this self-taper myself, and recognise when I need to take a 10mg (which I'll eventually drop to 7 - 5 - hopefully normal. I want to do it this way (taking a dose when I feel I need to) rather than a normal taper (taking more regularly - ie 10 a day for 2 weeks, cutting it to 7 a day to for 2 weeks ect) as I don't need to take diaz daily, so doing so would seem counterproductive. I want this done as quickly as possible.
3) So I guess question 3 is does my plan sound OK? I don't want to go to a doctor, and I know some of you guys will recommend I do. And I appreciate the concern. Its just I think I have a good understanding of my bodies relationship with the drug, and don't want to get a doc involved for a number of reasons.
Thanks for any advice.
(ps, I've never been prescribed anything. Its all been illegimately bought stuff. Its varied in strength. But I'd say I know 10mg when I get it. And I normally get it)
Also I'm gonna add a q4:
4) I was tempted to use Etizolam in this self-'taper'? I can see a pro and con to this though. The con would be that it has a shorter half-life, so would make the ride tougher and need to dose when I feel minor w/d more regular. But the pro would be that I've read anecdotal literature that etizolam is less 'addictive', in that it is less likely to lead to withdrawals? What's your views on this? I've only taken etiz rarely, and they seem pretty similar in effects to diaz. But never taken prolonged enough to notive whether they bring on the same minor w/d that diaz does.
So its been nearly 2 years since I first discovered diazepam. And have used on and off ever since.
I initially used maybe 10mg once every 2 weeks. Then it got more frequent. Maybe weekly. Then I started upping the dose for certain situations (comedowns/interviews ect). And it just became more and more frequent since.
I guess in the last year I've used an average of 10mg or more a day. But its not been 10mg a day. There have been weeks I've taken 20-30mg a day for 7 days straight. But then there have been weeks I've gone completely diaz free. During such weeks I've ocassionally had insomnia and minor, minor anxiety and shakyness. But I'd never say I've experienced severe withdrawal symptoms. I've always functioned. Up until a few months ago I couldn't have said that I'd managed to 'dodge' withdrawals, as a week-10 days was the longest I'd gone without (and I know it has a long half-life), but a month ago I went on holiday abroad for 3 weeks, which led to me going valium free for a month. During this month I got the minor anxiety around days 5-15, but then was absolutely fine. I was hoping that this would be me knocking the frequent use on the head for good, but I slipped back into my sporadic daily/weekly useage of 10-30mg a time.
I'd say in the last month I've taken about an average of 20mg a day, but again not consecutive days. There have been 2-3 day breaks in between.
But now I plan to stop. And once I've stopped I'll just use them for what I originally intended them for; functional reasons; interviews and comedowns. I have potentially some very important interviews coming up in the new year, and it would be nice for me to be off them by them, and a 10mg to do the trick. (Just to note the reason my intended functional plan for this drug didn't work is that I enjoyed the relaxation it gave me, so started taking it on random nights just to enjoy the footy, or watch a film, or even have an easier day at work... This is the sort of shit I want to stop. Its uncessary and spoils the potential beauty of this drug.
Anyway. I have about 30 x 10mg left and want to use these up and be done. As you can see I know my limits well a little, in that I know I can go a few days-week feeling fine and not wanting more to feel normal. So I plan to just take 10mg whenever this happens. And hope it becomes less and less frequent, until I don't feel the need to take anymore unless I want to.
Regarding this plan I just have a few questions:
1) Seizures are my major worry. As stated I know I can go about 5 days-a week without feeling minor withdrawal symptoms. So my theory is if I take 10mg when these minor withdrawals start I'll avoid a seizure. But my only worry is if seizures can happen WITHOUT these prior minor withdrawal symptoms. So my first question is, can a benzo-withdrawal induced seizure happen out of the blue, with NO prior w/d symptoms, inparticularly in someone such as myself who DOES notice minor w/d symptoms after 5-10 days use?
2) Was my month break in which I felt back to normal by the end long enough to say I 'dodged' full blown withdrawal? I did experience minor withdrawal 10 days in, which subsided. Then felt normal. Would it have been possible for delayed withdawal that much longer after stopping, and considering I'd already 'got over' initial minor w/d symptoms.
I'm pretty confident I can be disciplined enough to do this self-taper myself, and recognise when I need to take a 10mg (which I'll eventually drop to 7 - 5 - hopefully normal. I want to do it this way (taking a dose when I feel I need to) rather than a normal taper (taking more regularly - ie 10 a day for 2 weeks, cutting it to 7 a day to for 2 weeks ect) as I don't need to take diaz daily, so doing so would seem counterproductive. I want this done as quickly as possible.
3) So I guess question 3 is does my plan sound OK? I don't want to go to a doctor, and I know some of you guys will recommend I do. And I appreciate the concern. Its just I think I have a good understanding of my bodies relationship with the drug, and don't want to get a doc involved for a number of reasons.
Thanks for any advice.
(ps, I've never been prescribed anything. Its all been illegimately bought stuff. Its varied in strength. But I'd say I know 10mg when I get it. And I normally get it)
Also I'm gonna add a q4:
4) I was tempted to use Etizolam in this self-'taper'? I can see a pro and con to this though. The con would be that it has a shorter half-life, so would make the ride tougher and need to dose when I feel minor w/d more regular. But the pro would be that I've read anecdotal literature that etizolam is less 'addictive', in that it is less likely to lead to withdrawals? What's your views on this? I've only taken etiz rarely, and they seem pretty similar in effects to diaz. But never taken prolonged enough to notive whether they bring on the same minor w/d that diaz does.
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