I was in a similar situation at your age SS & these things never work out well (could just be me but I doubt I am the exception). One of you will get hurt & it is likely you. Nine months sober is great work but IMO too early for something so intense/stressful & potentially damaging to your sobriety.
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SLR Moderators: Senior Staff
Have crush on older woman.
- Thread starter soundsystem00
- Start date
B1tO'RoughJack
Bluelighter
Well if this is what has happened already, and she's backing off - let her feel in control of that. Back away a bit, stop flirting so much, but just be friendly.
Trust me if she's attracted to you you will not be friend zoned if you play things right, chill out.
When you see an opportunity, take it. BUT NOT BEFORE!
Make sure you're not just boosting her ego though, backign away to see her reaction will help you out a lot.
Also can I ask - do you have issues with your mother? That's a very big age gap, not saying there's anything wrong with older women - I still do it myself, but consider your relationship with your mother, and why you're attracted to this woman.
Then whatever you find, LET IT GO, and just enjoy yourself in a healthy manner.
Just read Kyntism's post - hmm intereeeeeeesting.
Trust me if she's attracted to you you will not be friend zoned if you play things right, chill out.
When you see an opportunity, take it. BUT NOT BEFORE!
Make sure you're not just boosting her ego though, backign away to see her reaction will help you out a lot.
Also can I ask - do you have issues with your mother? That's a very big age gap, not saying there's anything wrong with older women - I still do it myself, but consider your relationship with your mother, and why you're attracted to this woman.
Then whatever you find, LET IT GO, and just enjoy yourself in a healthy manner.
Just read Kyntism's post - hmm intereeeeeeesting.
soundsystem00
Bluelighter
They ALL have boyfriends.
she flirted with someone younger that she found attractive and was reciprocating the motions.
when realizing it was something more than that and that your feelings could be hurt/affected; and her relationship severed; she backed away.
shes old enough to know the end result; and wise enough to not go down that path if she truly cares for her partner and sees/wants a long term future with them.
this is why shes backing off (even if for a moment she entertained the thought of fucking you; and tries to stay close with zero intent of furthering that; by her simply hanging around; with you both on a thread; to satisfy her own selfish pleasures; warning signs are flashing).
im sorry op; i truly dont think anything serious, nor a sexual relationship between you both; was intended to be and in the long run will only lead to trouble granted your current professional relationship with them both.
...kytnism...
Hurts, but spot on. Yeah, I do have issues with my mother. Alcoholic and bipolar and very verbally and emotionally abusive all through childhood. Hasn't spoken to me for over two years.
Thanks man. 9 months clean is a big acheivment. I had a friend who got hurt by his girl and it caused him to relapse, so I keep that in mind for sure. I am human though.
Well, at least my ego is boosted. A great deal. The fact she took an interest in me rather than anyone else in the office was quite surprising, but it shouldn't be I suppose. I do have to say, if I had the chance, I would take it. You know how men are. That being said, I am not going to try anymore.
Pagey
Bluelight Crew
Hhaha. Reverse the genders and story of my life.
soundsystem00
Bluelighter
Have crush on slr mod, wtf do i do?
pofacedhoe
Bluelight Crew
?que?
also there is saying which goes "dont shit on your own doorstep". money to eat from work is more essential than sex with a hottie
soundsystem00
Bluelighter
Pagey > cougar chick
Yeah, my friend said the exact same thing. Only we say "dont shit in your own backyard".
Yeah, my friend said the exact same thing. Only we say "dont shit in your own backyard".
I feel like if you play this right she's yours. She's putting herself out there, so you're really in no danger of being friend zoned unless you push too hard when she's not feeling it. Just let her do her thing: if she flirts, flirt back. If she pulls away, let her. She obviously realizes it's a bad idea to get involved with you but she still wants to anyway. I would have to disagree with you and say that this chick is definitely not relationship material; she's 42 and coming on to you while she has a boyfriend. She might as well tape a red flag to her forehead. If you don't think you can get involved with her without catching feelings, stay the fuck away.
Best thing you can do is decide right now what you want and stick with it. If you don't want to hook up with her at all (because of the boyfriend situation or your inability to avoid catching feelings) be polite but distant and never get in that situation where you're alone. If you're open to something happening between you, just play it cool.
Best thing you can do is decide right now what you want and stick with it. If you don't want to hook up with her at all (because of the boyfriend situation or your inability to avoid catching feelings) be polite but distant and never get in that situation where you're alone. If you're open to something happening between you, just play it cool.
Pagey
Bluelight Crew
DOB
Bluelighter
she have boyfriend,if you get your face smashed by her BF,let me tell you I feel zero empathy towards you in this kind of situation.... cheating piss me off,if you two want to fuck,make her clearly tell her BF that its over,fucking cheating *people* everywhere
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nooneanymore
Bluelighter
Sounds like kid stuff.