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Gibberings CXV - Documented proof

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How old? Over 6 thats just wrong behavior, if this is the lass you're moving in with you're gonna have to teach the kid that kicking people is wrong for a start
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Yep she is 6 & just hits people all the time & is a right demon child when things are not 100% her way.

You said yourself you were a using addict not so long ago.
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WTF does that have to do with anything?........
Yes I was on heroin for 10 years, so I am a bad guy for that now?........

you have shown yerself to have a bit of a short fuse on here too Farmaz..
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I just don't take to idiots or people making me look like an idiot by twisting my words, I am quite easy going but don't take shit from anybody!!!
 
i aint sure what to think of Farmaz after that picture of a sad little dog with a gun pointing at its head
 
maxalfie said:
I guess Farmaz that to yr girlfriend she sees it as the child just messing about but when the child isn't yours and you aren't used to kids it can come across as the child being bad mannered on purpose.
I don't know how old the child is but it can't be easy trying to adjust to having a kid around all the time when you are used to your own space.
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I like your advice tbh & yes it's really hard to adjust to this life, I only have to deal with myself back home as I live on my own.

I am not trying to stick my nose into private stuff but you have kids maxalfie (your own or step kids?)
 
When I first met my niece she was around 3 and she was very wary of me at first.
It took her a while to learn to trust me(I had to spend many hours playing making cups of tea in her pink Wendy house) and it was very tiring.
But now we get on great and whenever I see her I love it when we go outside and she automatically reaches up to hold my hand, just that little thing makes me feel so damn happy.
Its worth putting the time and effort into getting to know the child if you are sure you want to be with the mum.
 
^ trust & security :) kids are like animals in that respect.

farmaz said:
WTF does that have to do with anything?........
Yes I was on heroin for 10 years, so I am a bad guy for that now?........
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Addicts are selfish farmaz, thats a way of life and a way of thinking that takes time to change. Being a good parent requires being pretty much selfless. All kids need boundaries, thats how they feel secure and loved, but if they are to grow up well balanced they need the adults in their lives to be consistent, forgiving, patient and mature. Easier said than done, i'm the first to admit, but thats why i'm in awe of the good parents I know.
 
farmaz said:
I am quite easy going but don't take shit from anybody!!!
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frabz-Oh-so-you-dont-take-no-shit-Tell-me-more-about-how-bad-ass-you-a-eecfc5.jpg
 
farmaz said:
Yep she is 6 & just hits people all the time & is a right demon child when things are not 100% her way.
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Fairly easy to change her behaviour then, but theres no point sulking or geting vexed as others have said, get down to childs level, make eye contact and tell her its wrong and to apologize like, she keeps on then i dunno make a 'naughty step' or 'thinking step' (my mums a childminder & this works with one of the more disturbed kids) pick her up, put her there and dont let her leave for 5 mins. And stay completely calm. Etc, you'll get the hang of it :)
 
badandwicked said:
She'll remember the rejection longer than you remember the boot on the shin though thats for sure. Your reaction was childish, you cant sulk cos they do stuff wrong, or your g/friend may as well have 2 kids.
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Spot on. I' was in a sitution from around the ages of seven to eleven where my mum started seeing and eventully got engaged to another bloke.

His emotional jealousy was always apparent and he did nothing but attempt to criticise my behaviour / charcter / whatever at any opportunity as a result.

Which is not to say situation's analagous with that of farmaz, but the kid's going to carry these early impressions around with them for life.

I turned out a nutter, so it's a treacherous road indeed. Which is not to say you won't somehow learn to navigate it.

Mela said:
Gotta be glad she's not 6 months old then.


yeah, I'll get my coat...
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Very droll...
 
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maxalfie said:
When I first met my niece she was around 3 and she was very wary of me at first.
It took her a while to learn to trust me(I had to spend many hours playing making cups of tea in her pink Wendy house) and it was very tiring.
But now we get on great and whenever I see her I love it when we go outside and she automatically reaches up to hold my hand, just that little thing makes me feel so damn happy.
Its worth putting the time and effort into getting to know the child if you are sure you want to be with the mum.
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I should write down your advice & stick it on the wall so I can read it every day.
 
farmaz said:
I like your advice tbh & yes it's really hard to adjust to this life, I only have to deal with myself back home as I live on my own.

I am not trying to stick my nose into private stuff but you have kids maxalfie (your own or step kids?)
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I have got one son who will be 19 in January.
I had a bad split up with his mum when he was only 4 months old and she moved them away to another part of the country.
Cut a long story short I had no idea where they were for the next 16-17 years until my sister tracked down my ex on Facebook.
And I eventually got contact back with my son. I couldn't believe when I saw a photo of him, my mates thought it was a photo of me as a teenager.
So now we are trying to build a relationship which isn't easy due to all the time lost etc but I prayed I would see him again for so long.
 
badandwicked said:
^ trust & security :) kids are like animals in that respect.



Addicts are selfish farmaz, thats a way of life and a way of thinking that takes time to change. Being a good parent requires being pretty much selfless. All kids need boundaries, thats how they feel secure and loved, but if they are to grow up well balanced they need the adults in their lives to be consistent, forgiving, patient and mature. Easier said than done, i'm the first to admit, but thats why i'm in awe of the good parents I know.
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I have been clean for a while but still have the "heroin ghosts" in my soul, tbh I don't think they will ever leave me but I am NOT shooting up in my womans bathroom etc.

I like the kid & treat her right, I was adopted right away & had a really shit life which I wont go into in here but I will say I had 3 stepmoms & 1 stepdad, I been "roughed up" shall we call it by all of them & had a very rough life so I know how it fels to be kicked around.

I would NEVER, EVER wish that feeling upon the kid, I promise you that 1, may God strike me down dead if I lie but I find it hard to deal with a kid that says she loves me then kicks me & tells me to "go back to England as me & mommy don't like you"

I will be honest here & I know alot of EADD members will rip me for this but when the kid said that it hurt me in my very soul tbh :(
 
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