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Dumped GF. She is now threatening to kill herself.

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silverman

Greenlighter
Joined
Apr 3, 2011
Messages
32
I dumped her 3 days ago. i haven't contacted her or taken her calls since then. I want her to understand that we are done. During this time, she has sent me hundreds of texts, each one more hysterical than the last. She has made all kind of threats and called me all kinds of names. Fine. But things are getting darker. She texts me thinly veiled suicidal threats such as "I will always love you... my soul will always love" or "my time is ending... remember me laughing". I have ignored all of this. However during the 6 hours, all texts have ceased from her. This is unusual. I am getting worried.

Acting crazy is not unusual behavior from her. She has made these kinds of threats in the past. I also responded to them in the past; going as far to call her parents and voice my concerns or come to her side.

Also, she knows that years ago my dad killed himself and that my mom overdosed and died. I am not stupid and know she is probably trying to manipulate those tragedies.
This in mind, I am 90% sure that this is a stunt. But there is that 10%

All i keep thinking about is "what if" and I'm thinking how horrible that scenario would be.
Calling her parents is out of the question. My gf and I fight so much that i am positive they hate my guts and label me as the bad guy. Should I call the cops? what are my options. I'm in the US btw.
 
can i ask why is calling the parents out of the equation?
i doubt the police will act unless she has actually said what shes gonna do
 
She's a grown women by the way. nearley 30. No substance issues. But in my unprofessional probably has depression issues and should consider medication.
 
We have been on again and off again so much. The last time of which, i stupidly went back to her. They probably would have liked if I had simply left her alone. they have a point. since i am ending this they consider me a selfish manipulative asshole.
 
if she is using this as leverage then she really has issues. i would just inform the parents (despite your current situation) and any close friends that you are worried she may do something,
 
Ugh. I had a boss of all thing call me to tell me he's feeling suicidal. It was a ploy because I refused to take his calls after work hours.

I have such little patience for these ploys because I too had someone who overdosed and died on me and i had extreme guilt that I wasn't there.

At some point maybe she realized what she is doing is wrong and chilled out. Perhaps she had some clarity and realized "wtf am I doing?" And stopped?
 
Doubtful. It usually takes her weeks to chill out when something "bad" happens.
 
call the cops and get her baker acted.... or whatever the term is in your state
mandatory 72 hour hospitalization ... you can show them the texts as evidence
but do not personally visit her or call her
she will get the message and be safe hopefully
 
Silverman, I've been in your shoes... It sucks, it really does. The last time this happened to me, I texted her back once, and told her I'd send an ambulance if she wanted me too, but that I was not coming to her rescue. She is still alive, and the bullshit stopped.
 
People who are really suicidal don't use it as a tool of manipulation. Don't let her co-dependent ass back into your life.

I've had partners who threatened me with suicide. All you have to say is, "That would be unfortunate, but it would be your choice and not mine."
 
Yeah. I'm pretty much done with dating for a while. There is something about me that either attracts or seeks emotionally unstable women. This is the 3rd one in a row. i remember growing up; my dad had the exact same problem. I need to figure out why i suck so bad at relationships. Always grateful to have bluelight as an outlet for thought processing and anonymous feedback.
 
Anyways, my friend who lives in her apartment complex just called me and said that he saw her walking her dog outside. It appears to be the obvious; a cry for me to rescue her. Still, i would love to hug her and try to comfort and tell her that she will be OK. Of course that would be only hurting her in the long run but it still seems to be my instinct.
 
Kay I've sort of been in that situation before except I was in your girlfriend's shoes. Well - the night I learned my boyfriend had been cheating on me with a good friend of mine for weeks and was going to leave me for her (we'd been together for over 2 years, and we were both each other's first serious relationship) I just completely blew a fuse and tried to kill myself. There were many other reasons leading up to this, I'd been thinking about suicide for months but anyway (I'm just saying this to try and not sound like as much of a psycho).
Anyway basically he told me that via skype aaaand shortly after that I ingested a ton of pills and alcohol and told him what I'd done and that he probably would never be speaking to me again.

You can't imagine how horribly guilty I feel about that now, it has literally been tearing at me ever since. It was a horrible thing to go but I would recommend you the course of action he took because despite everything, I think it was a smart one -
He contacted my best friend, explained the situation to him figuring I'd be more receptive to him since at that moment I kinda hated my boyfriend's guts. My best friend called me a few times, realized I could barely even speak anymore so he called my dad and told him he needed to check up on me; not ask any questions but that I wasn't well and couldn't be alone right now.
By some miracle my dad actually did that, and has never asked a question since.

Anyway my point is I think you should contact a friend of her's. It's awful that she's doing that to you but you have to accept that it isn't your responbility and quite frankly, unless you call someone else you won't be able to help her because that's not what she wants - she wants to scare you, make you realize you still care for her, whatever. She doesn't want you to save her though.
I would not contact the cops immediately. It could make the situation so much worse. Go with friends of hers.
I also don't think you should rule out the parents - even if they hate you they'd have to be pretty messed up not to consider someone tellign them their daughter is threatening suicide.
I hope things turn out okay. Please don't blame yourself for any of this.
 
I had a gf like that I just called the cops and they came and took her to the hospital till she chilled out. Then the next time she tried it i did the same thing. They get real tired of the whole cops/hospital routine. I can't deal with that craziness and it sounds like you can't either.
 
Be careful...she sounds bipolar, and her threats of suicide could quickly turn into acts of aggression...like torching your house or fucking up your car.
 
She's crazy. keep ignoring her and leave it alone. it's just manipulation
 
I agree with calling the police - they can head over there and deal with her. If she's in trouble then they'll take her to the hospital for treatment. If it is just a stunt, then she will have to explain herself to the authorities. Win win imo.

Also, change your number.
 
Foreigner said:
People who are really suicidal don't use it as a tool of manipulation.
Click to expand...

so true

this girl craves drama and displays self absorbed behaviour. some people are depressed and self aware. she sounds unaware as long as she gets the right reaction.

some people do things for drama, you cant feed a drama loop or it will never end and next time its hungry where does it come to feed? at recepetive doors

her parents should be responsible for the adult they produced with these problems.

in life you can only be responsible for yourself and then your children if you have any, after this close family you can help/friends

we are all responsible for our own behaviour

Illyria99 - bipolar doesn't make people violent, people themselves chose to behave badly. lots of people have bipolar/schizophrenia and dont behave in a violent way at all without their medication. i'm speaking as someone who has been diagnosed as bipolar. it makes you more prone to risky behaviour but how that is expressed is a function of an individuals personality. also if you are looking to explain crazy behaviour in people look up personality disorders
 
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