i missed a final exam today

it was for a easy class and the final was a joke. im hoping theh teacher will let me retake the test as there are only 12 pupils in the class and he lax and understanding, but tis is the final!! omg how could i forget

i thought it was next wednesday, not today...and that is a final! im pretty sure i have a 96 in the class but a 0 on the final will take my grade and i am really worried....plus all the othEr bullshit that happened this week! omg, i need help renz!! life is such a bitch and i dont understand why this shit happens, but it just does and i am trying to think of the positives from the other bullshit that happened this week, but then i go back to thinking i missed the final
i mean in the long run i know i will be okay, i am good physically like im healthy and i have no diseases and shit, but stupid fucking shit like this kill mE! i am not the first one to miss a final, but just saying it makes me cringe in anxiety and self-hatred.. fuck fuck fuck FUCK!!! god damn!!!
it is so easy to beat myself up and think of the negatives, but i cant live like that. i have to be positive, think about the good things which is ten times harder than to think of all the stupd mistakes i have made..