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Ask Santa anything vs.sit on his lap and 'fess up

spork

spork

Bluelight Crew
Joined
Mar 12, 2004
Messages
14,190
Location
the present
I'll start

Santa, why did you stop visiting my house? Some people say that you don't exist, but I wanna believe. Are you still real?
<3
sporkles
 
spork said:
I'll start

Santa, why did you stop visiting my house? Some people say that you don't exist, but I wanna believe. Are you still real?
<3
sporkles
Click to expand...

I'm as real as Chevy Chase's hairline, my dearest spork.

You just have to believe.

Menacide said:
I felt something stiff when I sat on your lap.
Click to expand...

Then you should probably learn to keep your meathooks to yourself.

Ho! Ho! Ho!
 
spork said:
Why don't you visit me anymore? Have you forgotten about me? :(
Click to expand...
Have you moved house?

Our delivery service is only as good as our database. Update your details here: http://www.aletter4santa.com/

Hint: Don't click "a teeny, tiny bit not so good". Those submissions are passed over to juvenile services and expunged from our records.

GlassGurl said:
Dear santa, how do you make it to so many places in one night? Do I need to call meth watch?
Click to expand...

A mixture of high-dose DMT, intra-dimensional travel and off-shore sub-contracting.

Meth's for amateurs.
 
Dear Santie Clause,
Look, I know I've been kinda a shit head this year. I was wondering if maybe you could over-look all that and just bring me and my girlfriend something anway. I am willing to pour us a drink on Christmas eve so we could talk it over. My girlfriend might even show you her boobs if we can work something out.

Thanks a bunch you jolly old elf,
-iheart
 
oh my god the real santa is on this very fucking thread! santa I watched a bunch of really raunchy porn this year, and if you give me a lump of coal ill probably do something perverted with it.

so bitch, get me that train set!
 
Santa, why are children dying in Syria?

NSFW:
houla-massacre-syria-20.jpg


The better person in me decided to put NSFW tags around that photo.
 
Last edited:
Dear santa,

I have no chimney so yer gonna have to stuff yer fatass through the window. Don't try goin through the front door because the black man upstairs mite think yer a robber and shoot you. Also please don't raid the left fridge bcus that's where I keep my food. You can eat all the food from the right fridge bcuz the shit that's in there ain't mine and prob expired. Do you mind that we don't have a christmas tree? I didn't think so. Please leave my presents under the christmas table. Oh and if yer gonna use the downstairs bathroom don't forget to wipe the seat with those disinfecting wipes otherwise ya might get syphillis.

Merry christmas
 
If Santa really WAS real and he really gave you exactlyyy what you WANT.
fat bastard give me a script of oxyneo 80mg, 10mg percocets.
any good amphetamine script.
any good benzo script. looool
 
EEhouseEE said:
If Santa really WAS real and he really gave you exactlyyy what you WANT.
fat bastard give me a script of oxyneo 80mg, 10mg percocets.
any good amphetamine script.
any good benzo script. looool
Click to expand...
id go with a giant amp of liquid hydromorphone, bottle of pharm grade diamorphine, 1000x diconal pills, a kilo of orphenedrin citrate powder, and a solution of naltrexone dosed for ultra low dose naltrexone for potentiation and slowing tolerance. :D
 
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