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Ecstasy when depressed/upset/angry. Your thoughts/experiences.

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Prezza

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Nov 15, 2012
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11
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Midlands, UK
I was wondering, what would it be like to take ecstasy if you were feeling REEAALLY depressed/upset/angry.

And I don't mean somebody who is feeling depressed due to previous over-use of the drug (who will probably have damaged neurons, and consequently affecting the "efficiency" of the drug), I just mean a relatively healthy person who doesn't take it often... but also perhaps not a first timer, who might be cheered up by the "wow" factor of experiencing it for the first time.

I'm wondering because, I only ever feel like taking it if I am already in a good mood and feel like having a great night.
But I'm going through a bit of a hard moment in my personal life right now, where some days I feel seriously low, and I think to myself - "Should I just take some to at least feel good for this one night? Will it even work?"

If an event occurred in your life that left you seriously upset, depressed, or angry - the lowest you've ever been... what would taking ecstasy be like?

Would it almost force you to feel happy and cheer you up due to all of the serotonin being released, or would the effects be somewhat nullified by the fact you were feeling awful to start with?

Has anybody here had any experiences similar to this? How did you feel after taking it? What happened?
 
Yes, I have.


It works. For 3 hours, then once you comedown you feel 10 times worse than you did before due to lower levels of serotonin, and anything that was causing you worry before is going to seem exponentially worse.

Don't do it, it's a bad idea. Drugs aren't supposed to be a way of running from your problems, especially not MDMA.




I've found something that can help is doing things that gets your serotonin moving naturally though. Go do a bunch of push ups, get some sunshine or eat a bunch of turkey or something. It gets those neurochemicals pumping naturally, so you can get your mind off the shit without a crash at the end.
 
He is right it works but the comedown is awful. I was actually hospitalized during a roll due to depression. I cried during the comeup. Didnt think that was possible. It was a terrible feeling and it led to a four year break for me and antidepressants :-( i do roll now though.
 
When I had access to E, I almost always had a tab or three on hand.

If I was going through some drama, I saved the E. I was afraid that what I've just read about happening to you all, would happen. I was also concerned that maybe I wouldn't roll at all and I would kiss a mule's ass before I would waste a tab.

Reading your posts makes me glad I trusted my instincts. They are also a bit triggering for me, but I don't know anyone with E and have not found anyone with it in well over a year.

Buying ten at a time, I could leave them in my dresser, and just knowing that I could roll was enough to make me happy. If I had plans to roll, and some drama came up or an argument put me out of sorts, I cancelled my roll. Each time I ate E, I enjoyed the experience profoundly, and I would reschedule a roll before I would waste the E.

For me, ecstasy was exquisite. I never felt anything else to compare, before or since. Each roll I had was amazing. (I had a roll partner who was also exquisite and amazing.)

I had totally separate guidelines for E. Everyday drugs...A bottle of wine... an eighth of weed... stuff regularly used for a head change, were/are WAY different from E, to my way of thinking. E was an event I was part of, not a drug I was taking.

I don't have my rolling partner anymore. I don't really want to roll without him. He was not my lover. Far from it. He was my buddy. We had fun. We dosed together, we used the same amount, we came up together, and then spent the next several hours talking, walking around, and listening to music. Sounds mundane, right? Well, it was sheer magic every single time.

Once we spent the night out in the desert. He built a fire and we were rolling balls and it was extremely good. I honestly don't have words to describe it. We called it our Feral Sacrament. He was the one to introduce me to Bluelight. He's not online anymore but he would smile if he knew I remembered.

Use your E wisely and don't waste it on a bad mood. Save it. Give yourself something to look forward to.:)
 
I used to do MDMA when I was feeling down and all it did was make me feel worse later. Makes sense given what is happening in the serotonin system.

If you're down I would supplement it with a serotonin precursor or lifestyle modifications, instead of taxing the serotonin system with MDMA.

But I'm not an expert. Some people report therapeutic effect. It's usually at lower doses though.
 
I think that MDMA should only be used when things in your life are going good. If you are feeling depressed you are most likely low on serotonin and the roll won't be too good. Try to combat the depression with natural remedies and then when you are in a good place in your life roll on!
 
I haven't tried this myself, but I think I read it here on BL:

Taking extremely low doses (as in 10-20mg MDMA) in the morning might make you feel better. And obviously not every day. Don't expect a "roll" though, just go about your day without thinking about it.
I think the science behind it was that this upregulates your serotonin receptors, instead of a normal 100-150mg dose which definetly downregulates.

Again, not sure on the source.
 
If you do decide to do it - keep the dose low. I'd say within the 50-60mg range and attempt to use the experience as a therapeutic tool. If you can just push yourself into a positive headspace and mull over the problems while you're feeling happy and loving, it could aid you with your personal problems. But, like others have said, the comedown could be a killer and is my justification behind such a low dose. I'd be surprised to see you experiencing a horrible comedown on 50-60mgs however, you should have a nice, light roll that may be therapeutic.

Best of luck pal
 
In my experience any drug, including booze, when your feeling down ends up making you feel even worse.
If you've got a handle on what's making you feel bad though, and somebody to talk to during a roll, a small dose and a good talk might possibly help.
 
IMHO its an amplifier of emotions. If your in a bad state, theres a good change it can just amplify that and make it worse.

However, i think there is utility in using it in a responsible manner as part of a larger plan to deal with those problems. But yes, it will make you feel good/fantastic for a few hours, then like complete shit worse than before afterwards if your just self medicating without trying to learn or make progress by using it as an introspective tool. Thats where mdma therapy w/ trained professionals comes into play. I won't say it can't be done outside of such an enviroment, but just like using psychadelics that way its risky as hell, and imho even riskier than tripping as it leads to the same symptoms your using it to treat in the comedown due to the neurochemical after-effects of monoamine releasers, especially amphetamines like mdma.

I wouldn't try it, and i don't do it based on personal expirence in getting burned trying to do so. Not to say it can't be done though.
 
It is deffintly the worst thing you can do... My last 3 times rolling I had anxiety issues due to a girlfriend that I coulnd trust for shit but loved for everything.. go figure...

The comeup was really shit and when i was rolling I still had anxiety but felt quite fucked, then on the comedown the first 2 times of these 3 I had extreme anxiety/panic attacks and felt shit. The 3rd time I broke up with he was just as I started comming down because I couldnt deal with the anxiety she caused me to feel my world was FUCKED for the next day non-stop crying and hell-like feelings which continued for the next few days... suffice to say we got back together and broke up the next weekend I still had anxiety up till then and then feel into a deep, dark depression with major moodswings upon starting 25mg zoloft as I could not handle it anymore.

Currently on 25mg Zoloft at day 5 and feeling fine, apart from not being able to fucking cum I feel perfectly normal now except for the wild, manic mood swings.


All in all save rolling for a time when you in the right setting and most importantly mind-frame as those two factord have a HUGE impact on how hard and good youl roll. Im not sure whether my depression/anxiety has been caused by the constant stress of the ex or mdma use, both or was there but its best to be on the safe side. I have also heard of people going through traumatic events when comming down and have gone into depression so jus tsomething to think about...
 
ugly said:
When I had access to E, I almost always had a tab or three on hand.

If I was going through some drama, I saved the E. I was afraid that what I've just read about happening to you all, would happen. I was also concerned that maybe I wouldn't roll at all and I would kiss a mule's ass before I would waste a tab.

Reading your posts makes me glad I trusted my instincts. They are also a bit triggering for me, but I don't know anyone with E and have not found anyone with it in well over a year.

Buying ten at a time, I could leave them in my dresser, and just knowing that I could roll was enough to make me happy. If I had plans to roll, and some drama came up or an argument put me out of sorts, I cancelled my roll. Each time I ate E, I enjoyed the experience profoundly, and I would reschedule a roll before I would waste the E.

For me, ecstasy was exquisite. I never felt anything else to compare, before or since. Each roll I had was amazing. (I had a roll partner who was also exquisite and amazing.)

I had totally separate guidelines for E. Everyday drugs...A bottle of wine... an eighth of weed... stuff regularly used for a head change, were/are WAY different from E, to my way of thinking. E was an event I was part of, not a drug I was taking.

I don't have my rolling partner anymore. I don't really want to roll without him. He was not my lover. Far from it. He was my buddy. We had fun. We dosed together, we used the same amount, we came up together, and then spent the next several hours talking, walking around, and listening to music. Sounds mundane, right? Well, it was sheer magic every single time.

Once we spent the night out in the desert. He built a fire and we were rolling balls and it was extremely good. I honestly don't have words to describe it. We called it our Feral Sacrament. He was the one to introduce me to Bluelight. He's not online anymore but he would smile if he knew I remembered.

Use your E wisely and don't waste it on a bad mood. Save it. Give yourself something to look forward to.:)
Click to expand...

As I read this I couldn't help but smile. I too have a rolling buddy, we've only rolled together 3 times but every time it is something new and amazing. Sadly we bring out the worst in each other when it comes to drug use (mainly trying new drugs, not frequent drug use) but when we roll we keep it safe. Although sometimes that can be hard, but we always pull through and me smart about it.

Hope you either re-unite with your rolling buddy or find someone new! (although I totally understand if you don't want to replace him, I don't think I would ever try to replace my friend if we went separate ways. :))
 
Prezza said:
I was wondering, what would it be like to take ecstasy if you were feeling REEAALLY depressed/upset/angry.
Click to expand...

i think that times that in life that i would describe as being REEAALLY depressed/upset/angry are very dangerous times. i don't think it's safe to drive or make any kind of decisions in that state.

Prezza said:
And I don't mean somebody who is feeling depressed due to previous over-use of the drug (who will probably have damaged neurons, and consequently affecting the "efficiency" of the drug), I just mean a relatively healthy person who doesn't take it often... but also perhaps not a first timer, who might be cheered up by the "wow" factor of experiencing it for the first time.

I'm wondering because, I only ever feel like taking it if I am already in a good mood and feel like having a great night.
But I'm going through a bit of a hard moment in my personal life right now, where some days I feel seriously low, and I think to myself - "Should I just take some to at least feel good for this one night? Will it even work?"
Click to expand...

i think if you're ready to "snap out" of a rut or depressed attitude and want to make changes it could be a great kick in the butt.


Prezza said:
Would it almost force you to feel happy and cheer you up due to all of the serotonin being released, or would the effects be somewhat nullified by the fact you were feeling awful to start with?
Click to expand...

you might curl up into a ball and try unsuccessfully to go to sleep.

Prezza said:
Has anybody here had any experiences similar to this? How did you feel after taking it? What happened?
Click to expand...

yeah. i know someone that freaked the fuck out and embarrassed the shit out of themselves.
 
Planning to do some mda powder in a little over a week; it will be my first time rolling in 4-5 years but I am starting to have second thoughts about it beaus I have been axious and depressed lately due to me having to deal with chronic physical health issues and how they are effecting my life. I am not really worried about a bad trip as much as how I will react on the comedown. When I was 19 went though a period were I was pretty depressed for very different reasons even though life was going great. I double dropped 2 very strong mda pills and it started out as a very bad frightening experience but turned into a spiritually enlightening experience that changed my life and made me snap right out of my depression. I am hoping that mda could do the same for me again but things could go the other way and it could make things worse.
 
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^ I'm hoping your "MDA powder" is tested? Usually "MDA powder" is dealer hype for TFMPP or 5MeO garbage. You'd be lucky to get 2CB or 5/6-APB. Just saying.

FYI from my experience MDA was nowhere near as spiritually enlightening as MDMA. Just more visual, more clenching, higher body load. I never had deeply spiritual experiences like I do on MDMA, on MDA alone... In fact the two are different enough, according to PiHKaL (and my experience...) they have little cross tolerance.

With MDMA, the usual assignments of activity to optical isomers is reversed from all of the known psychedelic drugs. The more potent isomer is the "S" isomer, which is the more potent form of amphetamine and methamphetamine. This was one of the first clear distinctions that was apparent between MDMA and the structurally related psychedelics (where the "R" isomers are the more active). Tolerance studies also support differences in mechanisms of action. In one study, MDMA was consumed at 9:00 AM each day for almost a week (120 milligrams the first day and 160 milligrams each subsequent day) and by the fifth day there were no effects from the drug except for some mydriasis. And even this appeared to be lost on the sixth day. At this point of total tolerance, there was consumed (on day #7, at 9:00 AM) 120 milligrams of MDA and the response to it was substantially normal with proper chronology, teeth clench, and at most only a slight decrease in mental change. A complete holiday from any drug for another 6 days led to the reversal of this tolerance, in that 120 milligrams of MDMA had substantially the full expected effects. The fact that MDMA and MDA are not cross-tolerant strengthens the argument that they act in different ways, and at different sites in the brain.
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http://www.erowid.org/library/books_online/pihkal/pihkal109.shtml
 
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^ I've gone over that literature many times and the mods from ADD agree with me that it is wrong, and MDA and MDMA in fact are quite cross tolerant due to the fact they both release serotonin, dopamine, norepinephrine, prolactin, oxytocin and more


but yeah I agree, "MDA" these days is likely to be an RC unless you've tested it
 
^ the fact they release the same chemicals does not mean they are completely cross tolerant. Anyway, I believe the cross tolerance is similar to alcohol and xanax... Yeah, they share some cross tolerant properties but are not completely cross tolerant. They are about as cross tolerant as adderall and methamphetamine. Notice, methamphetamine releases a LOT more serotonin. Same with MD-methamphetamine vs MD-amphetamine :)

Similar highs, very different feelings :)

Some make it seem like the tolerance is the same whether you take 2CB, MDA, MDMA, or DXM... I don't think that's the case. All share SSRI properties, but they all have different overall properties.
 
I have tried this, I was very down probably mildly depressed due to girlfriend issues and family troubles. After a few bombs I felt the lifting of my mood, all of these troubles did disappear, however the mood increase seemed much smaller than when taken in a happy mood. I felt pretty good for a few hours, the regular MDMA feelings but when the comedown hit me, it was like never before. My troubles were far worsened and they became a lot more like they were my problem to resolve and they were caused by me. IMO never a good idea, better to just face the problems
 
severely etarded said:
^ I'm hoping your "MDA powder" is tested? Usually "MDA powder" is dealer hype for TFMPP or 5MeO garbage. You'd be lucky to get 2CB or 5/6-APB. Just saying.
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I got it from a highly trust worthy source who knows their shit and that I know would not pull some bs like that.
 
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