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NoBENDER - let's keep it going!

45 Days clean from heroin today! Feels amazing! 2 Meetings a day, calling my sponsor every night. Loving recovery.
 
happy thanksgiving to everyone. I wish everyone a good day and to stay strong. :D I'm having thanksgiving at a friends house in NA. so I'm grateful for recovery since I don't really have a family
 
Its nice to read that a lot of you are staying clean and are happier because of it.

just another Nodvember for me....:(
 
Serotonin101 said:
I second this. the opis will help with body aches and pains, and sleep disturbances. when I detoxed the first time I was coming off a huge heroin and moderate benzos habit. I did h before I went in but had no benzos and the first day or so was tolerable (dealer was cutting the dope with methadone so the long half life helped a lot). the second day was ok, had a bit a of librium and phenobarb to prevent seizures, day 3 I was dope sick for sure, day 4 benzos withdrawal was pretty much almost over, day 5 benzos withdrawal was done, horrible dope sickness though.
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i thought benzo withrawals were prolonged,and body aches and pain occured in opiate ones,benzos would help with that i would think,atleast enable ppl to sleep thru them,anxiety too and prevent seizures,then go off benzos with anticonvulsant help
 
I stayed at my parents last night and had a terrible night there, suffered strong cravings for heroin/fent all night and this morning, too. That's nothing too special though, back in the days the family holidays like christmas, easter etc. when I was at my parents house generally meant binging for me although I managed to keep it a secret most of the time. Today I also searched through their medicine cabinet but didn't find anything besides some zolpidem which I don't care about at all.
At some point I thought like even if I find that fent patch I was hoping for, it will be so useless, gone in one or two days, just enough to get me hooked physically, and then I have no money, no access to strong opiates, so what's the point... didn't end my cravings though.

On my way back home I sat in my car, singing to Alice In Chains, Johnny Cash and whatever, crying and thinking about what's going on with me. I think it's that I told my parents about my new girlfriend, which made me think of my ex and their parents, how their home was a sanctuary from my family for me. I don't even know why I feel so bad about my parents which fucks me up the most. They're not perfect but such neat people and I can't stand seeing them longer than a day. It's such a mess... maybe a bit offtopic.

So, Nobender gotta keep going for me. My end-of octsober-relapse was harder then the ones before, I used drugs for five days in a row. Had a few beers on one occasion and a stint with Ketamine on another, and overall I feel strong urges to use opiates. I caught myself fantasizing about them and idealising the use in such a heroic manner (pun intended) that it really worried about it. I need NOBender so much, and something equivalent for December, which will be a damn hard month.
 
bbgirlclueless said:
i thought benzo withrawals were prolonged,and body aches and pain occured in opiate ones,benzos would help with that i would think,atleast enable ppl to sleep thru them,anxiety too and prevent seizures,then go off benzos with anticonvulsant help
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no benzos don't help much with anything other than bp, anxiety and sleep. The RLS will get you bad either way. The body aches and pain from benzo withdrawal are much much worse than opiate withdrawal and last for weeks.

Here's my update for anyone who cares:

I am addicted to benzos. Flat out, can't control myself. I wake up each morning take 4mg clonazepam right away, make coffee and eat kratom. It's not bad actually but the dependence is. Going to have to go see a Dr. to get a script or keep gettin them off the street. Sad thing is though, i'm often at 8-10mg of clonaz a day, what am i doing??? Funny thing is, i'm making friends, doing business, getting ready for school, spending time with family, working on music and generally enjoying life. The illusion of control right?

I pray i don't run out of benzos any time soon.
 
Sorry for the misinfornation then,everyone is different i suppose,i went thru benzo wtw twice but didnt experience body pains,just mind boggling anxiety.i hope u dont run out of benzos soon,whats kratom?
 
I dont know what detox particularly means.do they rapidly taper u,or c/t u,or slow taper u? Foolish question i know
 
I've been on bupe maintenance for 8 months. And I'm happy to say that I haven't taken any other drugs, besides RX'd meds, during those 8 months. I'm not living a truly "sober" lifestyle, but it's an improvement.

Hope everyone enjoyed their Thanksgiving. I know this time of year can be especially difficult for those in recovery.
 
do not go into a detox for benzos, that is moronic, sorry. That is the worst advice ever. That will be the most painful experience of your life. You want off benzos? go to a dr and taper. that's it.

kratom is a natural plant that grows in Thailand, Indonesia and around there. It is an opioid, an atypical one at that. It's great for quitting opiates and for creativity, stimulation, motivation but it also causes a dependence.
 
RobotRipping said:
do not go into a detox for benzos, that is moronic, sorry. That is the worst advice ever. That will be the most painful experience of your life. You want off benzos? go to a dr and taper. that's it.

kratom is a natural plant that grows in Thailand, Indonesia and around there. It is an opioid, an atypical one at that. It's great for quitting opiates and for creativity, stimulation, motivation but it also causes a dependence.
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ive never had a benzo addiction so i ask this question: would a doctor even give someone benzos w/o a script just because they were addicted on the street? isnt that "feeding/enabling the addict"?
 
all treatment centers I've been to taper benzos with a valium+phenobarbitol taper. its the safest method possible in my opinion as you can lower the benzo dose quickly but the barbs will prevent the seizures. yeah its uncomfortable but its bearable. I've personally witnessed someone come off a 50mg+ daily xanax habit with this combo.
 
How could you say that someone entering detox for benzo's is moronic? Clearly if they have an addiction to benzos chances are they won't be able to successfully taper themselves. It makes more sense to me to be medically monitored/supervised than try to break a benzo habit on my own.
 
it clearly is, benzo withdrawal lasts months, go on youtube look up heather ashton and she has a video saying just how bad it is. You have no clue about this sorry.

and yes any decent dr will give u a taper, it's not enabling, it's the only way.
 
Kind of on topic, but doesn't apply to this month: I've decided I'm going to do my best to make 2013 a ketamine-free year. The honeymoon period is way over. It's becoming really stupid and depressing. Would love to keep my bladder functioning, scary to think what it'll be like If I continue to get ketted up as much as I've been doing the last 2-3 years. Gonna need a lot of strength when the time comes to call it quits.
 
GodSpeedK said:
Kind of on topic, but doesn't apply to this month: I've decided I'm going to do my best to make 2013 a ketamine-free year. The honeymoon period is way over. It's becoming really stupid and depressing. Would love to keep my bladder functioning, scary to think what it'll be like If I continue to get ketted up as much as I've been doing the last 2-3 years. Gonna need a lot of strength when the time comes to call it quits.
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good choice. my bladder was fucked up for while from k. you'll do well though my friend. remember addiction makes you a slave and do you wanna be a slave? hell no!
 
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