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Sex with good friend's girlfriend (with permission) ?

A

arthunter888

Bluelighter
Joined
May 23, 2009
Messages
623
So I'm presented with an unusual opportunity. I have a very good friend (my favorite of all friends) who has a hot girlfriend. They've been together for over 6 years, and it seems their relationship is somewhat open sexually as of now. He's a really nice guy and real generous, and both of them are real open-minded. He's already allowed her to have sex with another friend recently, as he's admitted to me. I guess he's gotten past the point of possessiveness with her, and though they still love each other, their sex life has slowed down a lot.

So recently I've been hanging out with them, smoking herb, chilling having laid back conversation, etc. In front of me he told his girlfriend to have sex with me. He said it kind of casually/jokingly, but this was right after he admitted his other friend doing it with her, so I think he was giving me a signal that it's cool. She kind of sighed, rolled her eyes, was a little embarrassed I could tell.

Later, she started giving me some subtle flirtatious signals, implying she would be into it. Body language, and some comments about her body/figure that normally a female would not say to a platonic male friend. I'm definitely attracted to her physically, and her personality is pretty awesome too.

So I haven't made a decision yet. On the one hand, I've only had sex a couple times so far because of how shy/introverted I am. Even though I get a lot of comments on how good looking I am, talking/flirting and generally playing the dating/seduction game is very difficult for my personality type. So because my sexual opportunities are very limited, I'm thinking about it.

The main thing I'm worried about is: even though both my friend and his girlfriend would be into me and her doing it, I'm afraid after that when I chill with them it might be weird/awkward. It seems like it wouldn't be for them, but for me it might because my mind tends to do a lot of introspection/analysis (though if they don't feel awkward, I'd be much less likely to also). Hanging out with them is absolutely my favorite thing to do, they are much more enjoyable to hang with than all my other friends, so I'd like to be careful not to mess this up. We are all quite intelligent and open-minded, and all in our mid-20s.

What do you think? Has anyone done this before, or something similar? How did it turn out socially?
 
Don't be afraid. Share.

This is a great opportunity - I had the chance and bottled it coz I was stupidly stoned, and couldn't believe my luck/ears.

Go for it - life is short, and it is experience....with someone you already know.
 
I'd do it. I've done things like this before and they turned out well.

Don't worry about it on your part, just view it as an activity to bond with your friend. (I'm presuming she is also your friend that is.)
 
I read the title of the thread and thought, "hell no" but once I read your scenario, I could go either way. It sounds like they truly do have an open relationship. I guess what I would do would be to step back and evaluate how good of a friend this guy is in your world. If you decide that he is a friend you want to keep indefinitely, I would not fuck the girl.

If you decide he is pretty good but it would be no big deal if things cooled between you, then go for it.

Reason being that *maybe* down the road, he could use that against you and hurt the friendship. Maybe not, maybe he is completely cool, but the chance is there. I guess I would decide if fucking this girl is worth potentially harming a friendship.... Also, if you are the type that thi is about things a lot, you may have to decide if you yourself will be able to be cool after it happens....good luck!
 
ill be honest, all i had to read was the title.

no no no no no no no

ummm....no. it be be my boys ex girl, you have to wait till they break up, get over each other..and have a good time apart. then it still may be un-cool to do.
Bros before hoes. your boy will be there with you through the shit..this girl will probably be a one time hookup.

dont even think about it man..thats just how i do things though
 
Beachcat said:
I guess what I would do would be to step back and evaluate how good of a friend this guy is in your world. If you decide that he is a friend you want to keep indefinitely, I would not fuck the girl.

If you decide he is pretty good but it would be no big deal if things cooled between you, then go for it.

Reason being that *maybe* down the road, he could use that against you and hurt the friendship. Maybe not, maybe he is completely cool, but the chance is there. I guess I would decide if fucking this girl is worth potentially harming a friendship.... Also, if you are the type that thi is about things a lot, you may have to decide if you yourself will be able to be cool after it happens....good luck!
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The reason I'm so hesitant is that my friendship with the guy is the most valued one I've ever had. I trust the guy with my life and definitely want him to be a lifelong friend. I'm good friends with the girl too, we have a lot of similar opinions about everything. Their romantic relationship is solid also and seems like it will last indefinitely (and they've been together since before I met either of them).

As of now he's certainly cool with it (he's the one that suggested it first, not me), but I wonder about possible future awkwardness if his stance on open-relationships eventually changes. Physically the girl isn't a 10, she's like a 7. But her awesome laid back and non-superficial personality makes her an 8 in total I guess.
 
arthunter888 said:
The main thing I'm worried about is: even though both my friend and his girlfriend would be into me and her doing it, I'm afraid after that when I chill with them it might be weird/awkward. It seems like it wouldn't be for them, but for me it might because my mind tends to do a lot of introspection/analysis (though if they don't feel awkward, I'd be much less likely to also). Hanging out with them is absolutely my favorite thing to do, they are much more enjoyable to hang with than all my other friends, so I'd like to be careful not to mess this up. We are all quite intelligent and open-minded, and all in our mid-20s.

What do you think? Has anyone done this before, or something similar? How did it turn out socially?
Click to expand...

Quite a long time ago, when I was 17, I was locked up for about a year in juvy. Towards the end I had a couple of weekend furloughs, and on one of them I spent the night with my best friends girlfriend. He was fine with it, and in fact had talked her into it, but in retrospect I don't think she was all that thrilled because she wasn't very... enthusiastic in bed. Nevertheless, when I was released about a month later, we all hung out as if nothing had occurred and there were no problems. But it never happened again and we never spoke about it.

In your case OP, it sounds like the potential issues are in your head. You'll have to decide for yourself if you can handle the aftermath. It may be worthwhile for you to discuss your feelings with your friends and get their opinion, especially since they seem more experienced with this scenario. As long as you're all on the same page, it's all good.
 
TBH, just from the post, it sounds more like he is upset with it and this is some weird thing where they are getting back at each other. that's just the vibe I get from the post.
 
Lysis said:
TBH, just from the post, it sounds more like he is upset with it and this is some weird thing where they are getting back at each other. that's just the vibe I get from the post.
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Confused. Who is upset with what, and how are they getting back at each other?
 
Your friend. And then the girlfriend rolling her eyes and being embarrassed by it. Why would she be embarrassed? I'm not saying you're making anything up or anything, but I'm visualizing the situation in my head and it kinda sounds like he does NOT like it.
 
If they both seem genuinely okay with it, then I'd say go for it. Make sure it's okay with BOTH of them (well, especially the guy friend!). Talk to him one on one about it (with his girlfriend not around). If he and his girlfriend are already having sex with others, as it seems they are, then why not?
 
Lysis said:
Your friend. And then the girlfriend rolling her eyes and being embarrassed by it. Why would she be embarrassed? I'm not saying you're making anything up or anything, but I'm visualizing the situation in my head and it kinda sounds like he does NOT like it.
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I'm pretty sure the reason she was embarrassed is because he said it to her while I was in the room. He said it pretty casually, there wasn't any passive-aggressiveness or any other negative undertone in his voice, I would have picked up on that as I'm pretty observant. Also right afterwards he said something like "we've been in a happy relationship for so long" as if to signal me that it wouldn't affect their relationship.

Words don't really do it justice, you kind of had to be there to understand what I'm talking about.
 
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If he were just a regular friend I'd say go for it, but from the sounds of it you guys are pretty close. I'm not saying that you're guaranteed to throw a wrench in the friendship by taking him up on his offer, but it's a definite possibility. I guess you need to decide if you're willing to risk a friendship for an opportunity to have sex.
 
arthunter888 said:
The reason I'm so hesitant is that my friendship with the guy is the most valued one I've ever had.
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Then don't risk it just for a fuck imo. If they ask you, the most friendship-preserving answer would be: "you're gorgeous and I love you both, but I think of you as a brother and you as a sister, and I wouldn't want anything about that to change."

All may seem okay with their relationship on the surface, but you really don't know what's going on re: why their sex life has deteriorated or whether either of them is going to flip out about it all soon.
 
I would do it under the circumstances.

I would regret it in that if she is a really open minded, cool girl, then I would be attached and probably find myself trying to break up an otherwise happy couple.
 
Renz Envy said:
I would regret it in that if she is a really open minded, cool girl, then I would be attached and probably find myself trying to break up an otherwise happy couple.
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that's what would happen if it was me. I personally wouldn't risk it. I've been in a similar situation and I turned it down (the girl was gorgeous and I always had a little crush on her and one night she fell asleep with her head on my lap at a hotel party. her guy just laughed and said don't wake her up cuz shell be pissed. of course my leg fell asleep and I had to move. she woke up and pretty much threw herself at me trying to pull my shirt off while her guy just laughed and carried on. I told her no, tucked her into bed cuz she was kinda messed up, and slept next to her on top of the covers).
 
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