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  • EADD Moderators: Pissed_and_messed | Shinji Ikari

Snoo version 6 - Shiny Spring-Summertime Snoo!

Weird weekend. Had a quiet Saturday night at a mate's flat - beers, tunes, weed etc. -both of us being too broke for a night out. Then we decided to nurse a few pints and eye up the arty women of Chorlton the following afternoon.

Who walks in? Only the first woman I ever fell in love with, and still my longest relationship to date. The one who intorduced me to proper unconditional affection and consideration, then broke my heart (properly) for the first time and started the booze / drug downward spiral. We lost touch about seven years ago (when said spiral began and I was bitter toward her) and though we've seen each other fleetingly several times, neither of us has dared break the ice.

Anyway, in keeping with the spirit of reconciliation and getting my house in order (and because I was a wee bit drunk), on my way back from the toilets I stopped by her table, looked her in the eye, smiled and just said "Cohen". I wasn't sure what the reaction would be.

To my surprise, she smiled back - a genuinely warm smile - and replied with "[my surname]".

We went through the usual "how've you been" and the like, and as she was with a friend and I sensed I was intruding, I made some remark about having to go and finish my pint. To which she replied "come here, sit with me and bring [my friend] over too".

What followed was a really pleasant half hour / hour or so, with a lot of wounds that have faded over time but never quite gone away being healed. It was the same for her, though slightly different - she'd been a kid just short of her 21st birthday when the split occurred, whereas I was a train wreck struggling to come to terms with my twenties and my various demons. A world apart.

Anyway, I finally got to thank her for what she did for me and the way she taught me how to trust somebody, open up to them, and (yeah, I'm going to say it, then I'm going to spit, just so you know) love them.

She also taught me what happens when you're unprepared for the emotional fallout when relationships either run their course or become unsustainable. Though time and subsequent failed romances have made me realise that the latter was an inevitable consequence of the former. And I told her that too. And besides, she was just a kid; not only that, but one with the world opening up in front of her just as mine began narrowing down.

If I could only begin to describe the emotional release that occurred when I looked her in the eye and said "I really loved you, you know" and "Thank you" then I would. Though it's totally unnecessary for me to do so - anybody who's been in love will understand. To have the first repeated back to me, along with "I'm really, really glad to see you again" - well, there was a bit of ill-disguised choking up and covert drying of eyes necessary after that.

So we spent the rest of the time talking without any awkwardness at all, and then realised it was almost ten years to the day that we met. And that neither of us could remember the date, and how that was probably a good thing.

And then her (and consequently my) student-era housemate from years ago turned up, and she was still a snide, conceited bitch. Which was also reassuring in its way. They went to get something to eat with a couple of hipsters in said housemate's entourage, but not before I'd bagged myself two hugs. Proper hugs.

So - basically it was a guy bumping into his first love and making up. It was so much more than that though, as anybody who's had the pleasure of such a pleasant reunion will know.

Good to see you again, as warm as ever and still beautiful in every way. No doubt our paths will cross again, though we'll probably never be regular drinking buddies. In the meantime i'd just like to say you deserve the very best in life and you made my day.

Thank you. <3
 
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Awww man, that's great. I had a bit of a similar meeting way back in...2006? Though the time spent apart had been nowhere near as long as yours, it was great to meet on neutral ground completely by accident and go catch up in the pub with her then boyfriend (and now husband). Realised then that I'd always love her, but not in the way I had when we were together.

Six years on and she's still my best mate <3 I adore her kids and her husband and we talk pretty much every day. Never thought that'd be possible but I often think how lucky I was to not just fuck it off and walk away and maybe if we hadn't met that day in town, I would have.
 
snolly said:
Realised then that I'd always love her, but not in the way I had when we were together.
Click to expand...

Yeah, it's a funny feeling to get used to isn't it? You'd think at 32 I'd have come to terms with that one years ago, but the booze and a my lack of emotional development have stopped it from happeneing. :D

snolly said:
Six years on and she's still my best mate <3 I adore her kids and her husband and we talk pretty much every day. Never thought that'd be possible but I often think how lucky I was to not just fuck it off and walk away and maybe if we hadn't met that day in town, I would have.
Click to expand...

Amazing isn't it? And I'm happy that it worked out that way for you - I don't believe people should sever all ties when they've shared so much, unless it's absolutely necessary. Some time a few years can help with perspective though, can't they?

Though I already have one ex as my best mate, and she's enough trouble as it is. ;)
 
Thanks :) Aye it's a weird feeling, when I was a bit younger I was always thinking how it'd clash with my future relationships but now it's not a problem. Her husband accepted me knowing our history and she is more than willing to give her opinion on my girlfriends ;)

I should probably listen to her more actually.

But yeah I'm not one for severing ties unless it's absolutely necessary, I don't think I would ever do it unless they hurt me in a malicious way. I understand cheating and stuff hurts but it's not always done out of malice and can be moved past eventually, even if it takes a while.

And yeah, seconding the 'enough trouble as it is', got to admit I panicked a little when I invited mine to my 25th bday party :D
 
snolly said:
But yeah I'm not one for severing ties unless it's absolutely necessary, I don't think I would ever do it unless they hurt me in a malicious way. I understand cheating and stuff hurts but it's not always done out of malice and can be moved past eventually, even if it takes a while.
Click to expand...

Absolutely.

And when it comes down to it, there was no reason for us not to have communicated, save for my own wounded pride and the fact she did it very suddenly and when I was very vulnerable and unstable emotionally. So it became impossible for her to be a friend as I felt my trust had been betrayed. Which it had, but like I said - she was a baby.

I could get used to this confronting the past lark, I really could. Only to a certain extent though. :D
 
Snoo!
A girl who I have committed my interest and love in, is feeling the same way as I!
<3 Feeling happy and almost unreal.
 
I don't believe this, i thought it would never happen.

A post by Sam that involves women from his past that doesn't end in some sort of fuckery .

Well done mate;)
 
SamhainGrim said:
Weird weekend. Had a quiet Saturday night at a mate's flat - beers, tunes, weed etc. -both of us being too broke for a night out. Then we decided to nurse a few pints and eye up the arty women of Chorlton the following afternoon.

Who walks in? Only the first woman I ever fell in love with, and still my longest relationship to date. The one who intorduced me to proper unconditional affection and consideration, then broke my heart (properly) for the first time and started the booze / drug downward spiral. We lost touch about seven years ago (when said spiral began and I was bitter toward her) and though we've seen each other fleetingly several times, neither of us has dared break the ice.

Anyway, in keeping with the spirit of reconciliation and getting my house in order (and because I was a wee bit drunk), on my way back from the toilets I stopped by her table, looked her in the eye, smiled and just said "Cohen". I wasn't sure what the reaction would be.

To my surprise, she smiled back - a genuinely warm smile - and replied with "[my surname]".

We went through the usual "how've you been" and the like, and as she was with a friend and I sensed I was intruding, I made some remark about having to go and finish my pint. To which she replied "come here, sit with me and bring [my friend] over too".

What followed was a really pleasant half hour / hour or so, with a lot of wounds that have faded over time but never quite gone away being healed. It was the same for her, though slightly different - she'd been a kid just short of her 21st birthday when the split occurred, whereas I was a train wreck struggling to come to terms with my twenties and my various demons. A world apart.

Anyway, I finally got to thank her for what she did for me and the way she taught me how to trust somebody, open up to them, and (yeah, I'm going to say it, then I'm going to spit, just so you know) love them.

She also taught me what happens when you're unprepared for the emotional fallout when relationships either run their course or become unsustainable. Though time and subsequent failed romances have made me realise that the latter was an inevitable consequence of the former. And I told her that too. And besides, she was just a kid; not only that, but one with the world opening up in front of her just as mine began narrowing down.

If I could only begin to describe the emotional release that occurred when I looked her in the eye and said "I really loved you, you know" and "Thank you" then I would. Though it's totally unnecessary for me to do so - anybody who's been in love will understand. To have the first repeated back to me, along with "I'm really, really glad to see you again" - well, there was a bit of ill-disguised choking up and covert drying of eyes necessary after that.

So we spent the rest of the time talking without any awkwardness at all, and then realised it was almost ten years to the day that we met. And that neither of us could remember the date, and how that was probably a good thing.

And then her (and consequently my) student-era housemate from years ago turned up, and she was still a snide, conceited bitch. Which was also reassuring in its way. They went to get something to eat with a couple of hipsters in said housemate's entourage, but not before I'd bagged myself two hugs. Proper hugs.

So - basically it was a guy bumping into his first love and making up. It was so much more than that though, as anybody who's had the pleasure of such a pleasant reunion will know.

Good to see you again, as warm as ever and still beautiful in every way. No doubt our paths will cross again, though we'll probably never be regular drinking buddies. In the meantime i'd just like to say you deserve the very best in life and you made my day.

Thank you. <3
Click to expand...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gat5NV11hfc

=D

Had to be done.
 
Great post about yr first love Sam.
The first love is the love that will never be forgotten.
Its such a powerful emotion when first experienced and you have never felt anything like it before and you may never feel love as strongly as that again.
I still recall my first love from my school days,met her when I was 15.So 26 years later and I still occasionally find myself thinking of her and how she is doing.
I wonder if she's married with kids, happy or sad and if she is still a total babe.
First loves can be so beautiful and also so painful, either way they are never forgotten.
 
Twas my second love that was my real love. Hardcore smitten I was. Still am really.

I'm not counting the slutty girl at school I pestered for about a year to no avail.
 
I was too painfully shy a youngster to make anything of what would've been an epic 'proper' 1st love.

She was a total babe and I still kick myself for being too much of a pussy as a kid.
Infact she told me years later how she had a crush on me at the same time.

Still don't know why my self esteem was so low as a child.
Ce la vie.
 
The first of mine set me off into self destruction as did the second, both destruction paths were my own fault but I felt it harder with the second, with age and all that behind me, it felt a lot aharder and still does.

Anyway snoo thread. My mum's cancer is totally gone from her body after her latest PET scan :D
 
brimz said:
A post by Sam that involves women from his past that doesn't end in some sort of fuckery .
Click to expand...

Never thought you'd see the day, did ya? ;)

maxalfie said:
Great post about yr first love Sam.
The first love is the love that will never be forgotten.
Its such a powerful emotion when first experienced and you have never felt anything like it before and you may never feel love as strongly as that again.
I still recall my first love from my school days,met her when I was 15.So 26 years later and I still occasionally find myself thinking of her and how she is doing.
I wonder if she's married with kids, happy or sad and if she is still a total babe.
First loves can be so beautiful and also so painful, either way they are never forgotten.
Click to expand...

Very, very true. And thanks for reading the epic post. :)

I'd had long-term girlfriends before that and I thought I'd been in love, but it was really either pure lst, crushes or infatuation. And I didn't really open up to anyone - just shagged them, had a laugh and did things with them, but kept my defences up.

Then along comes this posh girl with a heart of gold and the kind of undisguised compassion and thoughtfulness that I'd never really experienced elsewhere.

And yeah, you do find yourself involuntarily wondering about them - in this case I can happily report she's childless, happy, working as a waitress after her career in architecture stalled and still very much a total babe. Though she's far too wise by now to ever consider giving me another shot!
 
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